• Published 14th Oct 2016
  • 1,333 Views, 34 Comments

Welcome to Tatzlquestria - Guardian Talon



Events from around an Equestria where half of the population are now tatzlponies.

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Good Morning

Princess Luna glided down to the ground. A mostly flat area with a few trees and shrubs scattered about. Her hooves were dampened by the morning dew on the grass. After looking around for a moment, she frowned at not finding what she was there for.

From behind her came the noise of grass ripping and dirt flying. Before she could react, tentacles wrapped around her and dragged her towards the creature. She looked back to see the tentacles coming out of an open mouth with three jaws. Then a pair of legs graped her and she was enveloped in a set of large wings.

"Really, sister. Must you do such things?" She used a bit of magic to pry one of the tentacles off and the other two let go of her.

Celestia pulled her tongues back down her throat and nuzzled Luna. "I'm not allowed to hug my little sister?" She gave another squeeze with her legs and wings before letting go.

"While your affections are appreciated, your means of displaying them have become... unusual." She stepped away, giving Celestia room to shake the dirt out of her coat. "Another aspect of your change that I must grow accustomed to I suppose." She looked over at the hole in the ground as Celestia stepped onto the grass, her long thick tail topped by a row of short hair being the last to leave. "It is fascinating how tatzlponies are able to move through the ground with such ease." She looked into Celestia's eyes. Eyes that she had knows since she was a filly, but now had jagged markings in the fur behind them. "But won't the grounds keeper be most upset about this?"

Celestia Smiled and shook her head. "As long as I don't make a habit of it, it will be fine." One of her tongues stuck out of the side of her mouth. "Coffee?"

They made their way over to a cart, setup under a tree, where Luna prepared a cup for herself. "What, pray tell, were you doing underground to begin with?" After a moment's hesitation she added. "If you don't mind my asking."

"I saw you heading this way and simply felt like having a bit of fun." She said with a smirk. "Now, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this morning?"

"Some issues were brought before us last night that I felt you should be involved in."

Celestia's ears went back. "Has the nobility already gotten up the nerve to try something against tatzlponies?"

"Yes but I struck those down as soon as it became clear what their intentions were." Luna finished with a sharp nod.

"I've had to deal with the ones who were converted, suggesting that we require the rest of Equestria to become tatzlponies as well." She sighed but after a moment smiled at Luna again. "Since we both seem to be dealing with that annoyance on our own, what is it you want to talk about?"

"Most of what I wish to discuss can wait until latter and are simply things that normally you would bring to me in a similar manner so that we may examine them together. There are two items however. The first is that I have received the scouting report concerning Perfection Valley. It seems it was another case of near total conversion."

Celestia hummed to herself and looked in the direction of the statue garden. "It seems odd that Discord would waste his efforts on such a small settlement."

"The report indicates that they were in attendance at a city's festivities." She started to giggle. "And that those who stayed behind thought that their town was being attacked by monsters when their neighborers returned in their new forms. Going so far as to hide on the roofs of their homes and businesses to avoid being near the ground." They both glanced over at the hole Celestia had made. Luna composed herself a little better before continuing. "The important information is that the reason for the lack of activity in the area is that the citizens have taken to living underground in order to avoid the intense heat in the valley."

She perked up at this. "All of them? Even the ones who haven't been tatzlfied?"

She nodded. "According to the report, they already have a series of tunnels they are using, and are working on making them more permanent."

Celestia smiled. "It's good to see our little ponies adapting so quickly and working together to make things better for everypony."

"The other issue is something I wish to discuss with you before moving forward, because it involves breaking what is essentially law."

Her smile was replaced with a more serious look. "I trust you to have a good reason for this but I still have to ask. What law are we talking about and why do you feel the need to break it?"

Luna's face was just a serious. "It involves your latest proclamation. The banning of tea."


Princess Twilight was busy writing notes. Two of her tongues were holding quills while the third held her place in a book. She was interrupted by a loud thump from the door. She lowered the parchment held in her magic in time to see Spike answer the door.

"Mail's here." He opened the door to see Derpy give her head a shake before looking at him with a smile. She turned to her mail bags and then, as if she had been born a tatzlpony, quickly and easily used one tongue to open the bag while the other two pulled out the letters and passed them to Spike. "Um, thanks." He said with a forced smile. He hesitantly took them from her and stepped back, just in time to avoid being hit by her tail as she turned around.

He checked for important ones as he made his way across the library's main room. Once he was done, a dark purple tentacle was in front of his face as it wrapped around the letters. "Gah!" He looked up to see Twilight pulling them towards herself. "Do you have to do that?"

She looked at him in confusion for a moment before realizing what he meant. "THory, THike. It feel' nat'ural." She let her magic take over. "Besides, you've used your tongue to grab stuff before."

"Ya. But I only have one." He emphasized his point by holding up a claw. "And I've only used it like that a few times when I had to."

"I don't know what to tell you Spike. This is the way things are now. All of Ponyville got converted. It's just something you will have to get used to, along with the rest of us."

He groaned "I guess." He watched as Twilight went back to work. This time using her magic. "So how are the notes coming?"

"As excited as Pinkie is about all of this, her interest is in..." Her ears went back as she looked to the side. "Personal reasons." There was a moment of awkward silence before she continued. "Applejack is next. And while more useful to the general public, I think I'm going to adopt her accent if I review any more of her notes right now. So I'm going over what Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash gave me"

He took a quick look at what was written down. "So this is really going to be sent all over Equestria when you're done?"

She nodded at that. "And we'll be getting notes from areas with balanced populations as well."

He thought about it for a minute. "What about the Crystal Empire? It happened there too didn't it? Are they going to get these notes?"

She smiled at his concern for the land he helped protect. "Yes, Spike. They'll be getting copies of the information as well."

"You said Cadance drank the tea too. Do you think her and Shining are doing ok?"

Meanwhile in the Crystal Empire

Princess Cadance smiled, with her eyes half lidded, as she stalked towards Shining Armor. Her lower jaws opened up and her tongues slid out.

Shining watched his wife's tongues twist and squirm, causing him to blush and press his hind legs together. "I-I need an adult."

"I am an adult." She crouched down and prepared to pounce.

Back at the libary

"I'm sure they're fine." Twilight said with a smile. "Shining has probably been tending to her every need while she tests and learns her new body."

Twilight was expecting the mail to be more notes from around town, but the first one was marked with a red cross. She quickly opened it and started reading.

Spike watched her face go from a look of confusion to one of worry. "Twilight? What's wrong?"

"Hopefully nothing to worry about." She checked the clock. "But I'll still need to discuss it with Princess Celestia latter."

After rereading the letter, she gave her head a small shake and smiled at Spike. "Well I've still got other work to do. Lets see what the rest of Ponyville has to say."


There was a knock on Octavia's door. "Go away Vinyl." The knocking continued. "I'm not coming out."

"Come on, Tavi. It can't be that bad."

"I'm a laughing stock. I can't show my face in Canterlot again!" She wailed. "You should have seen them. Staring at me like I'm some kind of freak!"

"It can't be worse then any of the looks I've ever gotten." She laughed a little. "Besides, you kind of are."

The door was thrown open and Vinyl suddenly found herself pulled snout to snout with an angry Octavia. But whatever Octavia tried to say was ignored as Vinyl looked down at the tentacles wrapped around her own neck and body.

"So that's what's wrong." A coy smile made it's way to her face. "You're feeling frisky but not getting any."

Octavia stopped trying to talk and turned red. After a moment she sighed and let go. "You're infuriating." She walked out of her bedroom but without a destination just started slowly wandering around the house.

Vinyl recovered from her giggling fit and started following. "Seriously though. How bad is it?"

"They misplaced my bag. Fortunately I took care of my cello myself so I didn't lose that." She idly gestured to the instrument in the corner of the room. "But I didn't have a single thread of clothing to wear."

After a moment of silence she grumbled. "Do I need to explain to you what a formal event is? Again?"

"Ya ya, a bunch of snobs trying to pretend they're better then each other." She turned her nose up in a mock impression.

Octavia rolled her eyes. "Yes. Well those 'snobs' as you put it, are the ones who pay me to play. And they specifically requested formal attire." She tapped a hoof against the floor to accentuate the last two words.

Vinyl laughed it off. "You're worrying too much about this. They probably had their noses so high in the air they couldn't tell if your coat was gray or on fire."

"Not the most settling of thoughts." Was her deadpan response.

"Trust me, it will be fine." She started pushing Octavia towards the corner. "Now go play something relaxing while I reheat breakfast."

After taking a minute to calm down, she got her cello out of its case and used her tail for balance as she stood up on her hind legs. She grabbed her bow out of the case and was about to start when there was an interruption from the kitchen.

"ow. OW. hothothot."

She looked in to see Vinyl running a tongue under cold water. "Need I remind you that you still have a horn attached to your forehead?"

"It's not as fun."

She shook her head. "Incorrigible."


The Cutie Mark Crusaders shook the dirt out of their coats and checked themselves for cutie marks but again were disappointed.

Apple Bloom walked over to their wagon and looked down at the list they had made. "I guess just being able to dig doesn't mean we can be miners." After a moment of chasing a rolling crayon, she managed to grab it with a tongue and cross another item off the list.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo gathered the few gems they found into a small pile.

Scootaloo looked up at Sweetie belle. "Doesn't your sister have a spell that helps her find gems?" She reached out and poked her friend's horn.

"Well. Ya she does have a spell like that." She went cross eyed trying to look at her own horn. "But I can't use that spell. I have enough trouble just trying to lift stuff."

"Oh." She looked around for a moment then back at the gems. "So what do we do with these now?"

"We can still ask Rarity about them. It's her cutie mark and she's always working with them so she must know if they're any good."

"Sounds good to me." Apple Bloom called out.

"Then lets go." Scootaloo dumped the gems in Apple Blooms saddlebags and passed them their helmets. She got on her scooter while they got in the wagon and with the buzz of her wings, they were off. Their larger tails gave them more control over the wagon and made for a smoother ride then they were used to.

Soon enough they were in the main room of Carousel Boutique.

Rarity finished examining a gem with an eyepiece. "Sorry girls but this is the only one I can really use." She saw their dejected look while she levitated a coin purse over. "That's still very good for a first try. And I do know of someone who I'm sure would like the others you found." She smiled when they looked back at her. "A certain young dragon living at the library."

"Oh ya. Spike eats gems." Apple Bloom stated.

"Since the three of you are going there, can you give this note to Twilight?" She levitated a paper and a few bits into Apple Bloom's saddlebags. "Then afterwards you can treat yourselves at Sugar Cube Corner or something."

"Awesome"
"Thanks"
"Thanks, Sis"

The three of them galloped out the door and moments latter a buzzing started up.

A groan and some shifting fabric drew Rarity's attention back to Rainbow Dash. "How much longer do I have to stand here like this? Can't you just use those things over there?" She looked over and pointed a tongue at the dress forms off to the side.

Rarity walked up to her friend and helper for the day. "I'm sorry, Darling, but those just won't work for our new uh... style." She went back to work using her magic. "Until I can get some new ones in, I'll need somepony's help with making new designs."

"Fine." She huffed in reluctant acceptance. "But how much longer?"

"Oh just think of it as a chance to rest your wings after the work you did earlier."

"I don't want to rest my wings. I want to be out there practicing." She flexed her wings and gave her tail a flick. "I still need to get used to this thing."

"Is it really all that different?" She stopped for a moment, legitimately curious about the answer.

She huffed and shrugged. "Most of it is basically the same, but this tail is throwing off my balance on some of the harder stuff."

A light pat on the shoulder with a tongue. "Well if anypony can make it work, I'm sure it's you, Darling."

She smirked and straightened up a bit. "Thanks."

The two friends continued to work, with their conversation occasionally interrupted by bouts of laughter from Rainbow Dash when Rarity would subconsciously grab things with a tongue instead of her magic and then try to talk.

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