• Member Since 5th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen March 18th

Crunchbiter


Jury rigged a banana and a laptop to get signal in Equestria.

Sequels1

E
Source

This story is a sequel to To see both faces.


Less than ten days after the ordeal of Ser Vincent being exposed to the small town of Ponyville and he was already heading back. He's not pleased in the slightest, but it is just for bodyguard duty as Prince Blueblood confers with Princess Twilight about official business. The stallion mask helps but he can see in the eyes of a few that they're aware of what's beneath. Regardless, as a knight he's sworn to duty and can handle a few fretful glances his way. Of course, it just a question of what to do about the other Elements of Harmony.



The second story of The Changing States of Knight series.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 73 )

Glad to see the sequel for the previous story.

Great chapter, man.

Glad to see this continuing.

*follows*

bedridden with man burnout

Ummmm........ That sounds just a tad suggestive. :rainbowlaugh:

I wonder how the other main 6 are gonna get involved with whatever has brought Blueblood to ponyvile.
lets see, so he mentioned outposts for the guard, i guess applejack might be contracted for food supplies?
pinkie pie might just pop in as is her wont
rainbow dash, no idea.
fluttershy, to check in on sir vincent?
not sure on rarity either.

Yup Blueblood has something cooking and I bet his Aunt is not going to like it. Twi needs to put her hoof down with the Prince here. She has the power and she knows when to use her authority and how it should be used. Blueblood is nothing but trouble wrapped up in false concern.

I loved the first story and will be following the sequel!

“Okay, Pound Cake, stop playing with the pots and pans now!” she yelled with a sweet sugary voice.

you had my fav and like from the last story. that made it worth it.

“—No good, frou-frou, diamond spooned—“

“Yeesh AJ, let it go already,” Rainbow said with exasperation. Still, the farmer, wringing the brim of her hat between her hands, continued.

“—Snake biting, vermin lovin’, weed munching—“

Come now, Applejack, I'm sure you'll see his charming side soon enough.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/7/35774__safe_applejack_shipping_straight_prince+blueblood_romantic_artist-colon-noideasfornicknames_bluejack.jpg

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How do you figure? I mean, he hasn't even done anything yet.

5942987

Twilight's reaction to how Blueblood acts. The expressed desire for Twilight to have her crown on, when if he ahould have some idea that she is still adjusting to her station and she wishes to be seen as she was before. He is rubbing me the wrong way and I am willing to bet he has many emenies in universe that his attitude has created.

5943017
The enemy bit, sure. Blueblood probably has lots of people who can't stand him.

As for his deal with Twilight: It's possible he's actually grooming her to be his future bride. It would make sense, she's a young Alicorn princess and would make for a nice catch. I don't know if they'd fit too well together, though. And I do know Twilight wouldn't like the idea of marrying for politics one bit.

5943064

If he is trying to groom her to be a possible wife he is more then slightly deluded. Twi has a strong connection to her friends and I highly doubt that she would go out with Blueblood after how he treated them. Our protagonist has noted this back in the first story. Blueblood acts like he wants to move up in the world, but he is showing a severe lack of common sense if he cannot understand what he is chasing has already started him at a severe disadvantage.

I hope that as this story goes on Twi is able to reach out and become friends with Vincent. He needs someone who cares about him not what he can do for them.

5943108
I hope she can reach out and become friends with both of them. Blueblood isn't anywhere near Sunset Shimmer's or Trixie's respective deeds and she managed with them, no?

5941603

Well there's a cheap way of gaining popularity... I like it. :trollestia:


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5941577

I'm happy to hear. As for the rest of you, I'm delighted to know you guys looked forward to the sequel and have enjoyed it thus far. I posted this before work and throughout the day this was at the back of my mind. Thanks for the warm feedback.:pinkiehappy:

I'm glad to see this picking up again. I enjoyed your first story quite a bit, and the interactions with the girls and Vincent are fun. Especially Rarity. :) Faved and followed.

5944269
Hmm. I wonder. This story doesn't have a romance tag, but I do think there were some possible hints for something to happen between Rarity and Vincent even back with the first one. I actually hope they'll work something out.

For that matter, I'm always open to see some well-done Blueblood shipping. And if not here, in this setup, where else?

Since no one else pointed it out, I will:

the drumming...

5950444

Nice, but it was actually more like this

Huh, knowing pinkie pie she just appeared in the tree using her reality bending powers.
Kinda feel sorry for the guard.

The name of the fic is clever as hell, knight returning to where he was before(knight to before) as well as game peace moved by the hand of a chessmaster(Knight to B4).
So the question is, is it Blue who is playing chess using his best friend or is someone else?

5962766

Was hoping someone got the chess reference. Traditionally it is the second move the black knight can take.

Excellent chapter, as always. Hope to see more, soon.

‘Then again… this is one of the few times that regular guards would be enough. Prince Twilight can fend for herself.

That should be Princess Twilight, unless I've missed something

Enjoyed the update. Hilarious to see Vincent dress down a guard, bet he almost wet himself! :rainbowlaugh:

Yanno, since this is Pinkie Pie, I sincerely hope Vincent gets a piece of his own medicine for that. Because as we all know, Pinkie Pie does not conform to your notions of physics or possibilities, and blaming a guard for Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie just seems wrong.

That and the way he coldly asked if AJ and Rarity were threats. Okay... and? What're you gonna do if that's the case? Arrest them? Two of the Element bearers, who happen to know Celestia as well? Kill them? Go have a "talk" with them? Wherein "talk" is a euphemism for "threaten"?

And then there's Blueblood being blue-blooded. That bit with Spike, well, I can see why he needs a guard; without a little robot like Vincent watching him he'd get his ass handed to him for that kind of bull.

Honestly, these two are really full of themselves, ain't they? I hope one or both of them gets knocked down a peg; either the snooty, inbred burden on society, or the whiny, self-pitying robot.

5964332

In regards to Vincent, I don't believe he's a whiny, self pitying robot, or at least, not the first two.

He doesn't complain, in neither this one nor the previous story. He explains his reasons, which may seem prejudiced, but what if that's because pony's are towards him? Rather than mope about it, he found a way around it with a mask. He clearly function well, if he is able to both serve the Prince and be a knight.

My second point, following the first, is that he is not self-pitying. He doesn't loathe being different, but it has made him see things as is and is not. He's an elite defender of Equestria, highly respected. If anything, he hates pity as shown in the last story and has worked hard to avoid so.

About Pinkie Pie, I can't really accept criticism about that for one reason only: he doesn't know her well enough to know what she's capable of. From his perspective, the guards he sent ahead had not discovered anypony sneaking about, so he assumed that there was nothing out the ordinary. As a body guard it would be bad to say you missed a bright pink pony in a tree-- Vincent was distracted by Rainbow, but I suppose it could be said that he's no better.

Finally I don't want to write Vincent as a social butterfly, but as someone who grew up as the only human in Equestria, amidst the snubbery and xenophobia. That doesn't make for Mr. Personality in my mind, but it doesn't entitle one to become a whiny bastard. He carries himself professionally, doesn't speak to alienate, and does banter with the Prince. He's not perfect and I'm glad. I don't think he'd resort to any of those drastic measures when dealing with threats, especially from AJ and Rarity. You did read how he left the ogres alive in the last story, and how he does try to talk it out? He retaliates but doesn't kill, like how I imagine other guards might. I doubt he'd even be harsh to them.

No, he wouldn't kill. He would be proffesional when warning others. And only grilled the guard because he believe he made an oversight. He can intimidate but he is mostly civil, polite, and nice. He's still has flaws, but so far this is what I've written him to be. The fact that you picked up that he seems robotic is important.

Blueblood's Blueblood for now.

Sorry for the late reply, just finished work.

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5964332
I'd agree with Crunchbiter. Vincent isn't whiny or even self-pitying. I do think, however, he's prejudiced. Not like he doesn't have a reason to, too.

5968179 It's not really prejudice or stereotyping if there is repeat evidence from a majority of the "stereotype". In Vincent's case he has been across most of Equestria as shown in the first story and he has experienced the same bigotry from the majority of ponies he has encountered, certain ponies from Ponyville and the occasional one who helped him and told him what the mission was being the only mentioned exceptions when he was without the mask.

5969091 Prejudice is when you judge someone based on presumptions of their character. He has judged the pony race as generally being incapable of accepting him. That is prejudice.

I'm not saying his point of view isn't generally true or useful, but he is prejudiced.

Great chapter. I liked how Vincent interacted with Shy and AJ. Hope to see more soon.

Lovely to see an update.
It seems Ser Vincent is quite the animal person even without being an "animal-person"(see what I did there?):moustache:

Another great chapter, so happy to see an update and I can't wait to see how Vincent reacts when he's told he'll be staying in Ponyville.

It was not the first time that he’d retrieved a criminal of circumstance and he tried to minimise the damage. After all, no good pony wanted to be a crook and neither did they wish to cause harm. Still, he had to stop them, and it was good to be able to help those he could. Putting the dogs in a safer environment was a good cause of action, something he did outside the mission. When Ser Vincent wore this mask and they saw him as a pony they… had an odd look of acceptance to what was going to happen. They knew of jails, they knew of dungeons.

They forgot when the mask came off.

As much as he mopes about this... his behavior to the populace and to the Diamond Dogs encourages the attitude that he's a monster, actually.

He shows up to the dog's house... then threatens them, doesn't bother to learn a thing about them... but he's mostly curt but peaceful, at that point. Then he takes off the mask and starts beating the shit out of them.

It's basically saying "this is me turning from a 'normal pony' into a monster that will destroy you." He made the revelation of his true nature synonymous with him being uncompassionate and violent.

Same thing with the populace: he only lost the mask once he started using his powerup magic and got desperate and violent, which automatically makes that connection.

And the ending to the dogs fate is ambivalent at best. It's not slavery, but it is a loss of freedom, and it's... like indian reservations... only apparently working they way they were thought to work, instead of the terrible way they actually worked.

Wonderful chapter. :twilightsmile: Thanks for the update! :pinkiehappy:

Okay, I could ignore it before, but it's been one story and a half already and you show no signs of improving on this error, so I'm gonna take a guess and say you don't know:

You have serious perspective issues during dialogue. During general narrative it's not a problem, but you mix up POV's every time you write two characters talking.

Take this excerpt of this chapter, for example. Here, Twilight's perspective is in violet, Blueblood's is in yellow.

“I take you have read the reports of each of these fine stallions and mares?” She glanced up to the stallion, who had been sorting through numerous papers, eyeing them greatly. She had spotted the contents of a few: trade agreements and land ownership disputes.

“I’ve looked through.”

“Yes, they’re all amazing, but I’m curious, can you name any beside Vincent?” Her inquiry drew his gaze, and as one would speak over the top of their morning newspaper, he replied coolly.

“No.”

“Why?” she asked, closing the dossier and placing on the table before her, mindful of her bitten cupcake. She frowned as he glanced back to his…work, she guessed.

“These were recommended service-stallions that fit the parameters of working in Southern Equestria. The Captain of the guard’s finest pickings.” He lowered a page with his magic, his hand reaching for a tea cup as a different page fluttered out of his briefcase before him. The snowy magic glistened as he took a regal sip. “I take his word to heart and wouldn’t offer less than the best for a Princess.”

“How do you know? You’ve been quiet whenever I haven’t inquired about something in regards to the regulations behind this.” She sat back and drank some peach juice, poured into a cup. Her eyes fell onto a few papers she had already signed. “You’ve just been sitting there reading—actually, what have you been doing?” Without looking away, and only lowering his cup down to the table, he replied.

“Seeing where I can free up either funding or resources for what I have planned.” He shook his head and filled that paper away, bringing forth another in its place. Her scowl deepened as his scrutiny of the pages intensified. “Which reminds me, how would the Apple family feel about a private buyer taking a portion of their crops?”

See how they're intertwined inbetween paragraphs? NEVER let that happen! When there's a perspective shift, you break the paragraph, no way around it. Like this:

“I take you have read the reports of each of these fine stallions and mares?”

She glanced up to the stallion, who had been sorting through numerous papers, eyeing them greatly. She had spotted the contents of a few: trade agreements and land ownership disputes. “I’ve looked through. Yes, they’re all amazing, but I’m curious, can you name any beside Vincent?”

Her inquiry drew his gaze, and as one would speak over the top of their morning newspaper, he replied coolly. “No.”

“Why?” she asked, closing the dossier and placing on the table before her, mindful of her bitten cupcake. She frowned as he glanced back to his…work, she guessed.

“These were recommended service-stallions that fit the parameters of working in Southern Equestria. The Captain of the guard’s finest pickings.” He lowered a page with his magic, his hand reaching for a tea cup as a different page fluttered out of his briefcase before him. The snowy magic glistened as he took a regal sip. “I take his word to heart and wouldn’t offer less than the best for a Princess.”

“How do you know? You’ve been quiet whenever I haven’t inquired about something in regards to the regulations behind this.” She sat back and drank some peach juice, poured into a cup. Her eyes fell onto a few papers she had already signed. “You’ve just been sitting there reading—actually, what have you been doing?”

Without looking away, and only lowering his cup down to the table, he replied. “Seeing where I can free up either funding or resources for what I have planned.” He shook his head and filled that paper away, bringing forth another in its place. Her scowl deepened as his scrutiny of the pages intensified. “Which reminds me, how would the Apple family feel about a private buyer taking a portion of their crops?”

See? Look at how much neater the separation of trains of thought is now, how the narrative is better organized. This is a vital aspect of good writing, and as you've shown compromise with your grammar, it's something you must learn and remember.

Also,

His ears picked up as he glanced to her whilst startled. She was staring at the stallion as if he had grown two heads.

The wording in this is all over the damn place. A better alternative would be:

His ears picked up, and he glanced at the startled mare, who stared at him as if he had grown two heads.

Simple is better, don't try to flourish your prose unnecessarily.

6014155

Thank you for the critique, it greatly helps. I'll be making those changes.

Hope your still enjoying the story despite this.

6014186 Nope, that's really the only thing. The rest is very much enjoyable.

Incidentally, if you're gonna run a cleanup in this to get rid of that error, do one on To See Both Faces as well. That fic is the gateway to this one, after all, and the majority of new readers will see the corrections there first.

lol poor vicent

I wonder how coexist with the other citizens but especially the mane six

wow that this will be interesting

Yeah, the feeling when someone does something you are against for your own honest good and you know it one some level or other is how alcoholics must feel at intervention :trollestia:

Blueblood pushed his luck quite a bit there. Seems almost to far.

Eager to see the next installment!

Wonderful way to conclude the story. Really liked Vincent and Rarity's interaction.

6089564
No doubt. The train ride back sums it up perfectly.

And I don't expect Twilight and her posse to sit idly by while Blueblood sends his only friend away "for his own good" without doing something.

This set of 5 was weird to read, the writing is good, and the characterisation interesting.
It just felt kind of bland I guess. Mr. Robot trods along and blue blood transfers him.
I have an feeling I'm missing something here cause otherwise it feels like it didn't need 20k words to do. Through the more in depth back story was nice to read.

Ah good, this "ending" felt a bit middling. Makes much more sense knowing that another story shall follow this.

lol at dat ending sentence doe. looking foreword to a sequel

im calling it right now, at some point in the next story he will meet zercora and learn something interesting about her relationship with the poines

Maybe add an addendum to the end of each story. I had no idea that this had finished until my wanderings led me to the next one.

6223773

Thank you for the idea, I have indeed done so and just added an addendum. You smart cookie you :pinkiesmile:.

So, Ser Vincent will have to haul his tail less ass to Ponyville and stay that until further notice eh?
Good, now things will get interesting.

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