The Great Fandom Man!

by Jake Witt

SR ACT 1: Glitch 1

"...and so we made a race of Cyborg Changelings, who may never learn to love, and a race of changelings made mostly of love and light. Go, team." Captain Cookie Monster said, his debriefing once again too long to listen to. "Not our goal but Rodney Copperbottom and Cave Jetson have crunched the numbers. We still have no idea what we are doing besides being higher than Cloudsdale physically and drug-wise inside quarantine areas."

"There's weed up here?!" Rouge exclaimed, loud enough.

"Equestria has a more potent plant which resembles poison joke unless you compare the two under sunlight. Somebody made 'Dopey bombs' in the most vital areas. Assuming they weren't affected, we're holding up an honor system while the security room airs out or we get somebody not recovering from an addiction."

I raised my hand, accidentally knocking over a purple bear with a dome on his head containing an evil looking brain, who got back up and rushed to the front.

Captain Cookie looked... baffled? As baffled as a derpy muppet could be. "You made the dopey bombs or are you here to trek into-"

The bear held a megaphone up to the brain, "Equestria is glitching! Get into positions and if you don't have one: get ready for a fight!"

The ship got dark as green lights flashed. Lines on the walls lit up as people followed their designated colors with very few panicking and others complaining. Giffany's face appeared in the top right of my visor, once I activated my helmet. "Alright, I recommend we assist the helicarrier. The last glitch really did a number on the integrity-"

Giffany was replaced by a purple candy skull that downloaded some programs. "Yes, I'm still holding a grudge on Gif Girl. No, I am not hacking you... mostly. I heard you were not one for space so I hope you don't mind my additions." Sombra's influence reached the Ultimatrix, cycling through my many forms before landing on Ben 10 Alien: Upgrade. "Hello? Looks like I am hacking you... until you can handle this new "Upgrade" form. Boop!"

I fell to the ground as purple hexagons covered my arm, then my torso, and finally my everything as the world turned purple.

---

Sombra lifted his arms up and down before walking in a circle and having him jump a few times with the third jump making Fandom Man spat against the ground. "I can work with this," their voice said, synchronizing. They got up and walked over to an electric lock, touching the system improved the lock, the door, and it's security. "Ultimatrix: Form Lock." The purple-blue flickering face plate sank into its ring before being covered by metal from the ring.

Sombra's voice was heard throughout the ship, hacked Fandom Man repeated the words to them self in perfect sync. [Attention everybody! Do not be alarmed when Fandom Man possesses the ship in our joint effort! You'll know when we do so.]

Sombra returned to controlling Fandom Man, allowing him to melt and spread all over the ship. His metal plate sank into the techno mass and reappeared next to Sombra where four Upgrade heads spawned out around the plate. Their lights glowed as such: One white, blue, light blue, and pink. The white one looked around frantically as Sombra announced her self-proclaimed temporary control of the helicarrier, that began firing photon torpedos at chunks of reality and evil clouds.

"Did you really need to hack us?" Cortana, the blue head, demanded.

"Did Gif Girl need to destroy my tech before we could rescue you?" Sombra asked.

Oscar, Cortana, and Rouge turned their blob heads to Giffany's blob head, "What? Well, I'm NOT apologizing!"

[Sombra, you have to see this!] Samuel Jackson exclaimed on their radio.

A storm formed, bringing a tornado that snapped like a whip and spazzed like a snake on crack. Within the storm, lightning of different colors and some sweeping blurs could be spotted. The storm raged on but our enhanced shields could not prepare for the blurs colliding several times. A microphone formed in front of my face, "Hello? Is this on? Good. Brace for impact!" The helicarrier fell before shooting back up into position, "If you don't wanna die: please stay down. I repeat, "If you don't wanna die: please stay down." We're gonna have a problem here."

Sombra turned away from her screen, "Parody Rangers have been dispatched."

"Parody Rangers?" Rouge asked, tilting her head.

"Cancer Power Rangers, now called Medical Power Rangers and STD Power Rangers," Sombra answered, still typing on her keyboard.

There was a minute of silence, broken by Sombra typing on her keyboard and the chaos outside. "You mean SPD Power Rangers, right?" Cortana asked.

Giffany coughed, "That's the Rangers they parody. Medical Power Rangers were people dressing up for a good cause while the bigger and less appropriate group of Rangers are idiots and some guy they found off the street. On the bright side, the Medical Power Rangers actually have a White Ranger that's a flight EMT with the Air Transport helicopter Zord."

---

Five nurses in scrubs of their corresponding Ranger color and an EMT basic with his white and blue uniform reach the deck in synchronized speed. They stare out menacingly at the storm. Red Ranger shouts, "It's Morphing Time!" The group points their stethoscopes ahead of them.

"Life Guard!" He wore his red suit with a big, white plus on his chest. He had a whistle hanging from his neck. He had an orange life preserver on his back.

"Surgeon!" He wore a white surgeon mask over his helmet and a white plus on his chest. In one holster was a larger-than-necessary scalpel and a stapler in the other.

"Pediatrician!" She matched the Blue Ranger, except she wore white pants, didn't have a mask, her holsters had a syringe and candy. She wore a large, black stethoscope around her neck and over the white plus on her chest. Her unbuttoned lab coat flapped in the wind.

"Veterinarian!" She matched Pink Ranger but she has a skirt instead of pants and had just a syringe in one holster. Where the other holster should be was a lasso. Her lab coat was partially buttoned so the plus was seen.

"Paramedic!" He wore white pants with a black stripe on the sides. He had a black medical bag on his back and a shiny white watch. His stethoscope was hooked on one hip while his shear shredders were on his other leg, next to his pen light and cloth wraps.

The White Ranger held up two signal lights flashing red, "Flight Medic!" He practically looked the same except he had a white helmet with a headset microphone sticking out of the left side of his head, he had bright blue gloves, and his black boots were much higher. On his chest, a blue star of life sparkled.

Steam of their colors rose behind them with excessive sparkles followed by the Rangers posing dramatically.

Another group, this time having eight were running funny and stumbling over each other when they stopped, accompanied by a dirty, drunk guy that tossed his empty beer bottle at the storm that tossed it back at his feet. He swept the glass away with his foot, holding his arms out for balance. The group got up, holding out Morphing Badges with a dispencer on the side and with the skill of a scared pig and a mad cow they shouted, "STD! Emergency, man!"

Black Medic Ranger sighed as he shook his head, "Who invited these guys?!"

"Have you met them before?" White Medic Ranger asked, getting slow nods. "Are they based of the disease or the act of getting the disease?"

Red Medic Ranger held White Medic Ranger's attention, "Let me get this over with so we can stay focused. Red Sex, Pink STD Ranger is a random drunk hobo guy they found on the street, the guy and girl twins: Blue Incest-"

"I don't want to know."

Pink Medic Ranger hugged herself, "Do you think their Mega Zord is tame, now?"

White tilted his head, "Tame?"

Yellow Medic Ranger added, "We had to rebuild our Zords and embed them with the blood of a dying unicorn."

Blue pulled out a vial, "I have a vial if you want to perform the blood ritual on your Zord."

---

Oscar stared at the screen, "So we have a Mega Zord ramming the storm and the decent Rangers are dancing around a giant, white and gray helicopter."

The Mega Zord blew up as the blurs crashed through the shield and onto the deck, cameras revealing Rainbow Dash pinning down Spit Fire. Behind them the storm cleared and the glitch was over.

Sombra's finger hovered over a button, "Returning Ultimatrix controls in... 3... 2... Boop!"

My blob head turned purple as the other's blob heads were assimilated. My head sank into the floor cas my influence left the helicarrier, reforming me next to Rainbow Dash and Spit Fire as I returned to normal.

"Stop squirming S**t Fire!" Rainbow demanded, her metallic wings giving off a rainbow sheen in the sunlight. "Admit that you're my Wonder B-"

"Am I missing something, Dashie?" I ask, removing my helmet.

She looked up, "Hello and screw you; this isn't your beef."

"I dunno... you guys almost killed everyone on this ship. Your beef is this ship's beef and by extension... my beef. Now, should I tenderize the beef or let it stew?" I ask, holding out my dust revolver by the barrel. "Now then, what in tarnation-"

"I'm leader of the Wonderbolts, Dash! You're still not my rank or above!" Spit Fire shouted, her head dodging a punch from Rainbow.

I place my gun over Rainbow's hoof, "Rainbow Dash, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown for the fate of Spit Fire and the Mantis Flip Coin I expertly left under your hoof!"

"What?!" She lifted her hoof, revealing nothing as my hand with the coin quickly held the bottom of her hoof, the Mantis Flip Coin glowing. "You little sh-"

"We will be shooting down waves of Aperture Mantis Men with revolvers, a butterfly knife, and infinite ammo." I state, quickly, "Whoever finds the Mantis Man with the Mantis Flip Coin wins. We are allowed only one special weapon."

Author's Note:

Edit: "Fate of Spitfire" not "Fat of Spitfire".

I mistook "Power Rangers SPD" as "Power Rangers STD" and I needed an outlet to forget this mistake.

This story is for fun and to keep my creative juices flowing.