The Great Fandom Man!

by Jake Witt

SOFT REBOOT: Awaken Warrior! Part 1

*VRRR VRRR VRRR VRRR VRRR*
*taptaptaptaptaptap*

[SHUTTING DOOR. DOOR LOCKED.]

"Alright," a cool voice started, "Wake him up, Giffany."

"Wait, I thought it was G-Man's job to wake him up! Why me?" The digital voice of Giffany demanded.

"Well, somebody got in a hissy fit and limited Sombra's usefulness the morning of the mission." the voice replied.

There was silence, "What about Sarah?"

"Does it sound like we have time to talk?!" a tiny voice shrilled. "G-Man is currently delivering the armor, Sarah is overlooking the mission, and we have you floating over the guy who isn't awake yet. Isn't he your best friend or something?"

"I only knew him for a couple of days!" Giffany yelled, "Besides, I can't crack the encryption beyond 'read the walls'."

"'Read the walls'?" Tiny voice asked, "Like the binary code, here?"

"Scanning," cool reacted, "Are you serious?" *TAP TAP TAP.* "Navi, ETA on that super suit."

"It's down the hall," the tiny voice, Navi, replied. "Why do you need to know?"

"Plan B hinges on the Great Fandom Man," cool said. "Awake Great Fandom Man! Arise! Strike down on- the rest is corrupted. Great!" TOM 5 turn around as the doors flew open. A management rail guided a claw holding a white pod, giving chase to several venom-powered Unggoy. "Now we have to deal with overly muscular Grunts!"

A Pokeball flew past TOM's head, releasing an Eevee that dropped kick the first Grunt, back flipped, ran up the downed Grunt for a flaming headbutt to another Grunt before ending its string of attacks with an ice beam before falling to the ground and returning to its ball. The frozen enemies began to break the ice, roaring in anger.

A red haired teen wearing a white jumpsuit and blue scouter kissed the ball before pocketing it. He stroked his beard, wincing, then checked the pod. "They busted the armor!" he complained before forcing his fist into the opening on top, " And Eevee Mon is down! Great!" It seemed was about to acknowledge TOM when his features changed to frustration. "And my hand is stuck! Whoopty friggin' doo! You know what? I'm not going to question anything because THIS is ticking me off!"

A blue light engulfed him, turning him into something familiar to TOM.

"Oh, great spoons above; I'm not dealing with this nonsense, Ultimatrix!" the Tick sighed, dealing with a tiny metal plate between his pecks. He smiled as he, too, was engulfed in light. In his place was what could be described as a blue and black bug monster. He tapped the metal plate before speaking in a scratchy voice, "Looks like I'm stuck with unfiltered manual controls, analog, and base forms."

Navi turned to the monster, "Why do you look like Cell from Dragon Ball Z?"

"Let's just say..." his tails wiggled, "I'm a nonlethal version of Cell, I got his DNA without drinking anybody. But no. The Cell I met had to be a jerk about it and I am rambling. I am hungry. And I hate HALO 5 so how about I break in the new form?" He vanished as the Grunts got past the ice wall, swinging for TOM and the two holographic fairies with him.

Cell appeared behind the first Grunt, rapidly drinking him as lasers flew from his eyes, slicing the other Grunts in seconds. "...I don't remember Cell having laser eyes."

"Well, maybe it's because this base form is the embodiment of an omnitrix while Perfect Cell is the embodiment of the ultimatrix." a new voice chimed in.

"Looks like Cortana's back."

"And if you want full restoration of systems," Cell blocked the attack of the few sliced Grunts that could still fight. "I recommend using more energy based attacks."

"Doesn't that waste energy?" TOM asked, providing cover fire with his Nerf gun looking rifle.

"FALCON KICK!" Cell delivered said attack, almost clearing the only exit. "Nope! The Ultimatrix has an upgrade for absorbing energies so I don't have too much collateral to worry about." He brought his hands together... and made one clap.

"Semi-Perfect Cell has your muscle," Rouge said, booting up.

"Great, you woke her up."

Rouge made some typing noise, "Crap! I can't find it!"

"Find what?" TOM asked, throwing a grenade.

"Where I asked for her opinion." Cell's plate flashed as he upgraded to a four-armed Semi-Perfect Cell. "Though seriously, where's Giffany?"

"Over here!" Giffany replied, floating into the ultimatrix to be downloaded. "Systems updating and armor repair is ready!"

"Execute!" Cortana commanded as TOM was rescued by Semi-Perfect Cell, who tossed him aside.

"Hey, Grunts! Don't mess with Oscar Conners a.k.a. Fandom Man a.k.a. ME!" Semi-Perfect Cell shouted in his deep voice, moving his arms to his sides as he shouted, "Ka! Me! Ha! Me! Haaadokin!" Both arms thrust forward with charged energy, firing two ki blasts that intermingled into a swirling blue ball of death. His wings buzzed as he began to float, "Robobro, lead the way!"

"My name is TOM 5 and this is Navi," TOM introduced nervously.

"And we're watching Toonami, now I'm thinking Arby's and I believe you're paying, right?"

"G-Man, bring the ship into position," TOM said before addressing the situation, "Follow me, our food court has you accommodated."

"Thanks."

They ran through the crater where a S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier was waiting, wearing the colors of Princess Luna. Oscar held TOM with his bottom arms, flying to the ship.

"Speed it up, hero! The ultimatrix is about to restart!" Rouge warned. Oscar nodded, flying faster and crashing into the Helicarrier.

TOM 5 got out of his grasp, assessing the damage as Oscar turned back to normal. His helmet resembled a Power Ranger's helmet while his body looked similar to Megaman X and Iron Man. His right wrist had an odd watch on it, his right hand had a Green Lantern ring, a violet Star Sapphire ring, an odd gray ring from the index to ring fingers. On his other wrist was a band with a strange stone, below it an odd glove. His armor was white with off-set of blue lights at the edge of each section. He wore a utility belt with a gun holstered on one hip and one Pokeball on the other.

When TOM finished his assessment, he turned to Oscar bouncing from foot to foot freaking out. "What's wrong?"

"OK, can you tell me where the restroom is at- Oh!" He gave TOM the pokeball, "Can you take Eevee Mon to the Mess Hall or whatever?"

"...uh, sure?"

"WHERE'S THE TOILET?!"

"DOWN THE HALL, MAKE A LEFT, AND NEXT TO THE ELEVATOR IS A MAP OF THE CLOSEST FACILITIES!" TOM screamed back, startled. A blue and black DeadPool walked up to the cardboard cut out of Fandom Man and tossed him off the Helicarrier. "What?!"

FandomPool turned back into a helmetless and clean shaven Oscar. "OK, so I just abused time and magic. Is there a problem?" TOM just stood there, holding Eevee Mon's pokeball. Oscar took back Eevee Mon, "Yeah... uh... I'm going to make sure Eevee Mon doesn't die... sooo... I'll be seeing you at the debriefing? Yes? Yes." He walked off, gaining mixed looks from onlookers.

Author's Note:

That felt good! I forgot my purpose of making this story but I knew that it became a story for fun. I might try to make an overarching plot depending on my thoughts and mood. As of recently, I can't stop thinking of this story.

Also, the Sombra timeline was rushed. Let's make THAT the start of this plot point. Or not, either way I thought Samurai Jack Season 5 Episode 1 was cool.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Is reading A Boy and his Box necessary to understand this story?

[Jake Witt]

8030762 Nope! ...it was the original plan... But I gave up on that story!

So I was reading a story on this site (Search Shagohad and search for his sequel for "And Then There Were 10... er... 67" and reach the second to last chapter, I believe.) where they acknowledged a reboot to another story (that I won't read) and thought: Since Fandom Man is his own thing; what would happen if "A Boy and His Box" was stripped from the universe?

Whatever happens next is a result inspired by my computer screwing up. Today appears to be a good day for this computer, strangely, which is a good time to strike.