The Great Fandom Man!

by Jake Witt

ACT 4 King Sombra CAMP 1

Author's Note:

Just a random, calm chapter with random and pointless facts.

After a couple days and nights of walking (and running from the Pixel Pac Man) and seeing Canterlot in the horizon, we decided to set up camp. Turns out Dora had a majority of our camping gear in her Backpack, the same Backpack Diego drove off with to... uh... Faust knows where?

So here we are around a campfire, planning out how we're going to fit 20/30 ponies in a tiny, poorly made, tent and who is cuddling who, who is standing guard, and if we're keeping the fire burning. It was then that the Fandom Men had ideas for shelter, resulting in multiple ponies in either a Magic School Bus or a small RV dubbed "the Rust Bucket".

After arranging the vehicles and tent in a protective triangle with a fire in the middle-

"WAAAIT!" Everyone stopped their chatting to look at Party Favor. "Illuminati confirmed!"

Everyone shrugged, volunteer and service ponies climbed into the bus and RV while slowing continuing communication. The leading pony team: Fandom Man, O. Conners, Party Favor, Sugar Bell, Lego Craft, Box, and Brock... with the unquestioned inclusion of Bob sat around the fire with Fandom Man's marshmallows roasting.

"You're sure this isn't made from pony hooves?" Sugar Bell asked, making her s'more.

"For the unknownth time: no. They are made from minerals my Earth does not have that works like a substitute."

"How can I trust you with that?"

"If time-space allows it; I will take you to my Maud Pie."

"Who?"

O. Conners cleared his throat, gaining all attention, "I didn't just call this private meeting for casual talk... and there is no Illuminati. Maybe Bill Cipher, but no Illuminati." His hand suddenly went limp, causing us to watch as he unscrewed it and replaced the limb with a fully charged and cleaner one. "There one of my weaknesses; a hand that lasts a week. We need to talk strength, weakness, and who can help who."

Brock looked over to Bob the armless One Punch Man, watching him roast marshmallows with his feet gripping the stick. "Does Bob still have a weakness?"

"Besides spicy food and magic; no I do not." he replied. "Can we keep this to 20 words or less?"

"It's too late in the story for that." Party replied. "I think we hit the nine hundred thousand-ish total words."

O. Conners and Captain Favor tapped marshmallows, "Haha! Meta-humor."

Fandom Man looked lost, but not as lost as everyone else. Bob could care, but he chose not to.

"Alright, I can adapt to any situation with my armor on." O. Conners began. "But without it, I rely on my wits and Gem powers. You've also seen my hand lose power so my survival decreases for not being a leftie."

Party Favor shrugged, "I'm not thing special beyond being a leader and my bouts of luck in combat. I've been told that I can break physics, but all I see in myself is an average pony that can snap your neck within a minute or two." He said, compressing ten marshmallows into what appeared to be a one marshmallow s'more. "I guess I'm also addicted to noise. Anything fun and loud like a party and I'm in some sleep-trotting state before my bearings return." He tipped his hat with his Captain rank. "Besides leading some wounded ponies out of danger and stealing a Stormtroopers helmet; I'm a Captain because I'm not fully trusted in combat."

Sugar Bell nodded sadly, "A unicorn cured me of my PTSD, but now I have hallucinations of the good times before the war. One time; I was performing delicate surgery one moment then I wake up with a tray of cupcakes, but my patient is gone without a trace. It's happened a few more times, but I wake up in a closet with muffins and the other medical staff take my job. I was told I needed a break, but watching Red and trotting across a war-torn Equestria filled with bandits and monsters seem to be the opposite."

The whole camp went quiet when she finished.

After a few words to our campers from Nurse Sugar, sound returned. "Ponies! I don't listen on their conversations."

Brock took out two Pokeballs, "I have a few Pokemon. Onyx and four of Red's Pokemon: Dig Rat, ATV, some Flareon he hates, and his... uh... 'Lord Helix'. Without the pokemon minus Helix, I would just be a pretty face with skills in cooking. If I used Helix, I would be at the mercy of Red and his demons unless Helix was in danger."

Fandom Man shrugged, "I'm completely useless without my armor so I would rely on my ultimatrix, what little magic I know, my keyblade, and my pokemon. I brought my Kuriboh and a half Digimon Eevee Mon. Basically when he's in his second form every eeveelution power is granted to him. I can have my Navis Cortana and Rouge hack anything or become a variable in Eevee Mon's DNA Digivolution and my EM Cross Fusion, which allow me to become living radio waves while also being solid." Fandom Man chuckled nervously, "I'm also a spiritual balance wreck and data leech." He then turned to O. Conner. "On the talk of me; what's that gem of yours anyway?"

He looked at his right shoulder to the dull, blue gem with sparkling brown showing through, "A chocolate diamond, but I painted it blue."

Nurse Sugar Bell gasped, "Why would you paint it?!"

"It's nickname 'chocolate' made me feel... eh... fat." He flicked his metal pinky before removing it to reapply the paint. "Plus it seemed racist that a person as white as me would parade around with black shoulder, the paint insulates it, and it clashed with my armor. I may be in war with broken gear, but I still have standards. Standards are among my few luxuries." He then summoned the carpenter hammer, picking his nose with the crowbar end. "Oh, and other Conners? Don't hack me again."

Lego Craft took his roasted potato off his stick, munching on it. "Box and I create crap, work best together, and break anything."

Box sighed as he chewed another raw marshmallow, "He creates Minecraft items from nothing and with my ax, I can improve his inventory with MODs. We're immortal and need to take a nap in order to establish a respawn point. We technically don't need sleep, but if I died now then I would wake up back at Fort Starlight in my poor excuse for a bed."

"You could just make one, you know."

"It doesn't seem fair."

"Make them some beds when we return."

Box glared at Lego, "And those with the same conditions in Equestria?! We already help with most short notice defense, but having the country stare daggers at our tiny fort? What about the more free-willed Crystal Knights with their liberties?"

"Tell them to bring a newspaper; King Sombra has lost. Like I said: Make some beds when we return." He shrugged, "Start a factory for all I care. With you by my side and a chance to defeat the king of shadows; we've won."

"We need to grabs the Elements of Harmony, remember?" Fandom Man added.

"Yeah, yeah. We win at the price of escorting some ponies to old rocks."

O. Conners tossed his hammer at Lego's knee to no effect. "'Old rocks'? I think I might be offended by being part Gem, but who knows?"

Fandom Man stretched, "Besides me and Conners, who is sleeping in the tent?"

"Why can't you two?" Party asked.

"Do you want us to take back our rides?" O. Conners asked rhetorically.

Sugar Bell shrugged, "Nose goes?"

"Not fair," Bob added. "You know what? I'll take it as long as Brock and Red join me."

Brock tensed up, "A-Are you serious? He s-screams in h-his sleep."

"I can handle a little snoring."

The camp got quiet again so everyone decided to go sleep and wish Brock luck. As ponies patted Brock on his head for luck... he knew his night would be eventful.