The Great Fandom Man!

by Jake Witt

ACT 3.5 PART 1

"Look, my guest room is in use and Box, Pinkie, and Discord doesn't want you and my guest meeting," Twilight began in front of her tree house with a sigh. "Its also too early for this."

"What?" I asked, checking a watch on my blue hoof. "Its only 4:50!"

"In the morning."

The unicorn and alicorn looked around, the blue and orange pony that is Oscar shrugged. "So what? You tried to start Winter Wrap Up at this time."

"I didn't have clocks in my house!" She paused, sighing, "How do you people know this stuff?! Nopony was around to about know that!"

"Are you aware of the multiverse theory?"

"Don't give me that! I'm seemingly an expert on it by now." There was a pause before another word was said. "Look, I have folders full of missions from Box and other anonymous sources-"

"Read them." I stated, a pile of documents between us. "Well, I'll see you later."

Twilight's ears perked up as she became significantly less grumpy-looking, "Hold on-"

"Sorry," I said, shifting from Italian Ice to Kowalski, my black gryphon form with yellow details. Imagine me looking like a panther and eagle while also looking like a penguin with a gold necklace. "My schedule is currently full! Tell Dash to meet me in Manehattan."

I flared my wings and 'pounced' the air, causing me to put too much force in my take off, but still have my needed speed.

A ginger boy with box legs peeked out of the doorway, "Twilight? What are you doing out here?"

"Get back inside Lego, I'm just sleep trotting."

---

le manehattan.

le derp hurn durn.

"DIE TROLL!!!" I shouted, taking out a whole town of memes in my saiyan form.

"Y U NO leave us alone?!"

"Y U NO stop infecting teh ponies?!" I charged my hands as I pushed my palms forwards, "Ka! Me! Ha! Me!" I pulled the ball of ki back and back in front of me, "Hadoken!" A large wave of blue covered in a brighter blue shot out, destroying nearly half of Derpville.

I was about to fire smaller lasers when a rainbow blur shot past me, taking out the Trolls and Pedo Bears behind me.

"Hello Princess, need some help?"

"Rainbow Blitz, did Dusk give you the message yet?" I asked, tossing a bit of ki to my left.

The blue stallion landed next to me, summoning his keyblade and somehow talking around it. "Said something about Manehattan in trouble and some magic mirror."

"Yeah-"

"LEEROY JENKINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!" a barbaric Forever Alone screeched before falling on his face.

"These things can't beat us!" Rainbow boasted, firing a rainbow orb that expanded on impact before imploding with the memes in its trap.

"Challenge Excepted!" A stick figure shouted, cracking the ground he landed on.

"Careful Kara, he seems oddly strong."

"Stronger than me? Kara Conners the Fandom Fighter?" I asked, motioning the stick to- "Hey, come at me, bro!"

"Zoro, drop it. She has a thick head-"

Holding the stick in a head lock, I looked down at the ultimatrix on my belt, "Not cool, Shadow."

"Who are you talking to?!"

"Oh, so big boy can speak a full sentence." I won't tell you what I did because of the shock of somehow snapping the guy's neck.

Rainbow Blitz and a few MEMEs stood and stared at the bloodied mess behind me.

"I don't always run away, but when I do, its stuff like this," the most interesting man in the world stated.

And like some-sort of panel or scenery change, Manehattan was back to normal. Rainbow stared at me before it changed into a glare, getting in my face, "You killed him!"

"On accident, I assure you. He may have been seriously powerful somehow, but he had a weak neck. I didn't know!" I sighed, returning to my normal form then swiped my cape across his face, "We still have a magic mirror to find-"

"Found it," a new masculine voice shouted from above. Looking up, it was a saiyan in his super form, holding a mirror his height or maybe greater. "I'm surprised I didn't break it! Anyway, did Twilight send you two here in place of Rainbow Dash or what? Seriously, that mare is lazy sometimes and she's the only one that can perform a sonic rainboom, ya know?"

As soon as he touched the ground, his fist tapped a blue metal plate on his chest- "What the heck?!" I exclaimed in odd sync with Rainbow.

"Hi, I'm the Great Fandom Man," he said, quickly taking my hand and shaking it before placing the mirror back down. "Anyway, shall we head back to Ponyville and give the princess her mirror?"

Rainbow looked like a fish out of water before composing himself, "Princess? Since when is there a princess in ponyville? Who are you? Who's this Rainbow Dash?! Who the flying feather is Twilight?!"

"Cortana, time me," he said... into... a... white... ultimatrix.

"Kara, we're getting some odd reading off this guy," Zoro informed.

Shortly after- as if we were twin from the Shining -we both asked, "What odd readings?"

Shadow gave a low chuckle, "That confirms it. Kara, I really need to ask: Is it incest or-"

I cut Shadow off and this "Fandom Man" had the same reaction to whatever was talking to him, "Not cool! Why would you ask that?!/Don't ask that, Rouge!" OK, it was creepy at first, but seemingly broke sync.

"What? Its an honest question."

A familiar female voice replied, "Honesty can hurt sometimes." Shadow turned to a dark blue Navi, resembling Roll.EXE, but sounded like Cortana from Halo. "And honestly, I would like to invite you to my place so that it would save you the trouble of being pummeled here."

He gave a smirk, "What kind of pummeling?"

In breakneck speed, Shadow had a long sword through his torso, but that only lowered his overall HP before the ultimatrix healed him. "The kind that involves me and my counterpart deleting you and Rouge."

"Hold on, my counterpart is Rouge? Hot."

Cortana's blade died as her command chip expired, "You really want to die, don't you-"

"Lady/Dude, get out of my head!" The two Fandoms paused, "Stop it! The is getting very creepy/unnerving."

Rainbow returned, holding a stack of carrot dogs before eating one at a time slowly.

"Look, can we continue this at my place- or at least in its general direction?" Fandom Man offered.

"Sure. Why not? Let me guess, you live in a motel owned by Molly Mew?"

"Moe Mew- hold on."

"What?" Blitz asked between chewing his second to last carrot dog, his wings ready for flight.

"Who are the four royals here?" he asked.

I shared a glance with Rainbow before responding, "Five actually. Prince Solaris, Prince Artemis, Prince Bolero and his wife Gleaming Shield, and best pony Dusk Shine."

Fandom Man looked at the mirror, which revealed a confused mare that looked similar to Rainbow pushing on the other side of the mirror. Suddenly, part of the image seemed to shift downward and a corner was looking up at the pony from behind.

"I... suddenly think Sunset Shimmer was onto something."

"Who?" I asked.

"I don't know her gender swapped name, but its the bad guy from the first- ...um... Equestria Guys?"

"My Little Pony: Friendship is Alchemy: Equestria Men."

A video hologram popped up.

Fandom Fighter diverted her eyes for a moment until the video ended. "That... was weird. Ignoring the overly muscular and long haired Solar Flare, looks like your mirror is broken."

"You think?!" Rainbow Dash shouted from the other side of the mirror, her voice coming out in three different times and volumes.

Rainbow Blitz squinted at the portal, "Did she just hear us?!"

Dash took a step back, her back hoof standing on the mirror piece on the ground. "I swear, it wasn't me this time!"

Before the conversation could go further, loud squeaks and honks filled the air and one stallion shouted, "Oi mate, outta tha way!"

"Rainbow Dash, bring the mirror to Displopolis!" Fandom Man commanded, getting a salute in return. "And grab all of the pieces for good measure."

---

The video hologram was replaced with Zero's head, but blue appeared, "I hope you enjoyed your in-flight video because we suddenly have a whole library of this crap."

"You seriously have Zero as your Navi?" I asked, flying in my tamaranian form I got from the Starfire sisters. I had the mirror in my arm like a big nuclear football.

Being carried by Rainbow Blitz, Fandom Fighter was allowing him to fly faster with her wind attribute, "That's Zoro. An honorable fighter and hopeless romantic- or at least used to be."

"My Cortana looks like Roll.EXE."

"Light weight."

"She actually uses her looks as a tactical advantage. Guess how strong she really is!"

Both Rainbows rolled their eyes, stating, "They can hack a tank within five minutes?"

"Between 3.42 or 4 minutes." The both replied in sync. "Stop that. I won't unless you do. Are you kidding me?!"

Shadow and Rouge summoned their holograms to make kissing faces before vanishing.

"Rouge is stuck with me because of a dark pill paradox and a glitch. Shadow?"

She shrugged, "Similar, but instead of a glitch he claims that he was such a bad ass he decided to join me to avoid boredom."

The two of us looked down, "Wanna egg O.T. and send the Rainbows back to Ponyville?"

"Sure, why not?"

Author's Note:

-Self promotion beginning.
-Why is male Cadence, Prince Bolero?
-It might not be confirmed in the fandom, but Solar Flare is Sunset Shimmer. I mooched the idea.

---

Fandom Fighter's version of Cortana is Zero from MegaMan X that fights like Zoro.