• Published 4th May 2015
  • 3,370 Views, 43 Comments

The Great Fandom Man! - Jake Witt



Dragon Tales had magic, dragons, and rainbow rocks before it was cool. Time for Fandom Man to show these ponies whose boss!

  • ...
52
 43
 3,370

PreviousChapters Next
ACT 3 PART 6

Being reaccustomed to the hook blade from Assassin's Creed (and giving Cortana some time to repair the ultimatrix) I pulled myself up the palace balcony, witnessing the shocked expression of the glimmering mane six and the two shiny royals holding a gleaming Spike. Looking back, I saw what looked like a bon fire of flood spawn with bipeds and unorthadox ponies around it. Looking up, there were singe marks from lasers that lost their lethal power due to distance, but were strong enough for wounds.

"I am not good at explaining things, for the record." I tossed myself over the railing, landing on my face. After what I assumed was a minute, something poked my shoulder.

"Get up!" I looked up as the ponies glared at me and Spike tossing his stick away.

I sat up, "Question one: Do you know about the multiverse?" Rainbow was about to say something, but I cut her off, "I know! But my questions will open a can of answers, mmkay?"

"That was rude..." Rarity replied.

Twilight raised an eyebrow, "Let me guess, you're Displaced?"

"Um... yes actually. I'm one of the first few here." I let out a low cough, "How did you know?"

"Spike and I write a guy named Drake Long the American Dragon." Not surprised. He was never low-kee, but then again, they never saw him in his human form.

"NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I looked behind me in time to see a Super Man toss a Nacho Libre and Steven at me, sending us through the doors.

I pushed the luchadors off me shouting, "I'm not Displopolis' door matt, dang it!! I swear, I have so much power that I can turn the city into a dictatorship if I turn evil..."

Nacho and his side kick shared a look, "Where did you come from, little one?" My armor took a black tint for a moment as they got up. They walked over to the group. He apologized to them before asking, "Do you know about the multiverse theory by any chance?"

That's it!

I held Nacho off the balcony by his neck as my armored turned black and white and my helmet shifted into Emile's helmet from Halo Reach. The difference was that the visor was jet black and my eyes glowed red through the helmet. "I will you give you the glory," I monotoned in a deep voice. "Just tell the Mayor that I'm tired." Steven and the ponies barely moved me in their attempt to save Nacho. I dropped him onto the balcony floor. "I don't want a metal or fame. I want my deserved respect that I give most of you."

I got up on the railing and fell backwards off the balcony, hearing gasps all the way down. I got up and walked away from the crack I made as I walked off.

"Welcome back," a different voice said. It was my personal program that got the pest out of my screen.

"Fools, Rouge. All fools."

"You're throwing a tantrum. I like it better when you corrupt-"

"Delete Rouge.EXE? Yes or No?" I said, my finger hovering over 'YES'.

"Wanna terrorize Our Town?" she asked, ears folded. I hit 'NO' and smirked as we ran off.


The white glow of my ultimatrix signaled its complete repair, urging me to use it. As I scrolled through I noticed forms like 'Saiyan' and 'Alien X' were locked and Q locked the '4TH WALL MADNESS' folder. "Well, this sucks. I guess I'm stuck with the average and animal forms." I scrolled through the forms, stopping at a particular form. "Should I?" I mocked indecisiveness.

"Just do it." Rouge said as I pushed down on the ring.

My body was engulfed in malice flames as my armor grew into a dark cloak and spiked boots with a silver gauntlet ending at my elbow. The ultimatrix rested on my chest, keeping the cloak on me. Rows of bladed teeth filled my mouth as my skin turned pale and my eyes yellow. Two horns poked out of my black spiked hair.

"A Homestuck troll... yeah..." Rouge mumbled dryly as magic filled my hand.
"Snap out of it!"

Upon hearing the faint noise, I almost lost the hold on my magic. Blue energy swirled around me as my plasma ball destroyed a building and my reality changed. "Oscar Conners, focus!"

I landed in my motel in my neutral troll form (resembles a blue blood Karkat dressed like John with the ultimatrix as the symbol to keep my color scheme). I reverted to normal as I fell back on my couch. "Crap," was all I could say about the three or so minutes of darkness.

"Great. I turn my back to recalibrate our systems and you go dark on me." Cortana crossed her arms in a huff.

A bright blue Rouge the Bat came on screen, walking up to Cortana before pushing her over,"Good going, twinkle toes! I'm now stuck here with you two..." she finished between teeth. She then seemed to glitch before rubbing her chin, "Then again, its better than being stuck in digital limbo. I'll just watch... over here." Rouge faded from view as Cortana rolled her eyes.

"I cant tell if that was your emotions getting the better of you or what, but- I got nothing."

Still not in view, Rouge commented, "He was seeking respect, but I think he was just angry about Nacho's ass being too close to his face. Personal bubble stuff. By the way, you would make a great Batman the way you held Nacho over that balcony."

Cortana tapped her chin at thin, thinking of a response most likely when a surge of energy materialized into the room. It shaped itself in the form of Mew, not looking too happy. Actually, not happy at all. Totally angry.

Did you seriously threaten Ambassador Nacho?! "Did you seriously threaten Ambassador Nacho?!" Mew questioned in thought then out loud.

Static came from my speakers, "Yeah he did! It was glorious!! The fear in his eyes, the helplessness of his sidekick! Brought shivers to my 1s and 0s..."

"He didn't ask you Rouge."

"Pretend I didn't say anything. Except Mew, I doubt he will."

"No need to explain. I read everything. This wasn't the first and likely not the last," he floated down to a chair. "We know I already know about your... 'Dark Form'. But, I think you should elaborate yourself. Telepaths like me can only get surface thought while masters can read you fully within seconds."

"Seriously? I hate myself for going dark and you want a story?"

I could kick you out of here. "Sure, you need somebody's help on the matter." Mew said, acting nice according to his thoughts.


(After Discord's fall from power and before the Sombra war)


'Who are these ponies?!' I frantically asked myself. Running through a wooded village, I dropped some land mines, but none of them are going off. Don't worry, they don't have a large explosion radius, just enough to stun my pursuers. 'Are they dodging them?' Some sirens from my scouter warned me of fast moving lasers in my radar, triggering Cortana to turn me into Chromastone and absorb the energy. 'I recognize this energy... Its solar magic!'

I stopped, firing the energy at the passing Luna before a golden aura tossed me at a tree. Just as Celestia showed herself, I absorbed the magic and fired as I fell. Celestia dodged the blast, smirking as Luna impaled me with her horn.

"Thou hast hurt me!" Luna cried in anger.

"Well, nobody wins with a headbutt Lulu!" I responded. She gave me a quizzed look as I transformed into Goop, engulfing her in my goo before hopping off and- fell as a motionless puddle on the ground. I looked up to see my gravity saucer in Celestia's grasp. Luckily unlike Ben Tennyson, I have an A.I. on my side. As soon as Luna came close, my form jumped up becoming Hulk Rath (which is basically a two-tone green humanoid tiger (Rath) with bigger fists and less controlled anger) upper cutting the princess. Don't worry, I held back my claw so only a small scratch was on her chin. Then the anger trip came, my two black claws out in their full extension. "Let me tell you something pony princesses-"

"Not now, Oscar."

My form changed to Fast Track with my finger pointed out, a shrill voice replacing my low angry voice as I awkwardly finished, "-I've really got to go... See ya, bye!" I ran off, leaving dust on the two battle ready ponies.

"How thou responsible towards the close combat, sister." Luna stated as she flew ahead.

"Possibly, dear sister. It depends on thy circumstance."

I left there, panting in my normal form as I leaned on a tree. I hear a rustle above me and I see a black cloaked Yoda staring down at me. "Princess problems, you have, hmmmm?"

"Oh my god, you're Yoda!" I replied with a tired grin.

"Do you have the force?" he suddenly asked in an out of character voice. "I have a pill that gave younglings the force. I sell it to you for a bit." Well, I found one on the ground this morning and I can replicate food and toiletries...

"Well, I can trust Yoda!" I almost coin flipped the bit to him, holding it. "Umm... do you have water or something that will be easier to down?"

"Gummie worm, I have," he said back in the Yoda voice. "Only one is needed." I flipped the coin and he dropped a red-blue worm in my mouth red first.

"Sweet," I said in between bites. "Thanks!"

"Embraceyourdarkpower."

"What?" I asked, looking back up at him.

"Nothing, I said," he replied with a smile. "Concentrate, you must." Yoda pointed his staff to a boulder.

I stared at the rock twice my height, "I will try-"

"Do or do not! There is no try, darn it!" He paused as I winced at the volume. "Younglings... You know. Stressful..."


"Learning was surprisingly easy. When Luna arrived, Yoda tossed a black pill in her mouth then ran off. She choked for a moment before Celestia beat it down her throat. Medical science wasn't as advanced as it is today." I sighed as Mew scribbled some things down. "I tried using the force like I did with moving the rock, but I lost control of my hand and nearly killed Celestia, Darth Vader style. I ran off, breaking the connection as I slowly lost myself."

Cortana turned off the projector, ending the recording from that day. "That force worm did more than make him dark. Anything he willed became corrupt as he became faster, stronger, and smarter in his search for power. When we confronted Yoda years later, we learned the worm wasn't as concentrated as the pills. We can assume that's what made Luna Nightmare Moon, but there was some good in his products as a fail safe. He gave us a worm that had equal good on purpose, hoping being near him triggered the pacifist good side."

"We were able to control my dark side great, but when I became Hulk Rath he would slowly take over. The solution: replace Hulk with Wolverine." I hunched over with my elbows in my lap, sighing as my chin landed in the palms of my hands. "Being released I began to feel peace... until Nacho sent my head through crystal double doors and into a wall... made of harder crystal."

"... I did not think our epic return would involve a mexican wrestler and a diamond hard wall."

Mew shook his head, "The slaughter and burning of towns... From. A. Gummie worm."

"Hold on. Slaughter and what?!" I asked as my head shot up.

We hid the memories by sending our dark worm back in time. It became a part of you since day one and all that jazz. We implanted a better origin about you absorbing hellfire. Rouge explained offhandedly. "The worm was altered to give dark you pre time-travel memories and created two beings of concentrated dark or light."

"Well, crap." I replied in my new glum tone.

Author's Note:

I still don't know how to implicate the dark and light forms. So I intruded the dark form and lazily added things like time travel.


Superman
Nacho Libre and Steven
Yoda


hook blade
the force


Rouge the Bat


Alternian Troll
Goop

PreviousChapters Next