The Great Fandom Man!

by Jake Witt

ACT 2 PART 9

Author's Note:

I left some references. Can you find them all?

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Starfire
Starfire (Teen Titans)
Hell Boy

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Mario "Jumpman" Mario by the way.
Crashhopper
Jury Rigg (OV) suit with (UA) body.
Fourarms (UA)
Wreck It Ralph
Tamaranean

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Ninja Sash

"Creator, I love this coin!" I exclaimed as I used my Mantis Flip Coin in my "Jumpman" form, causing me to do a quad jump, the last two mid air jumps being flips. You're probably wondering what I'm doing and if I'm fighting someone.

Some green laser were shot at me, I dodged a recent one by diving to the ground. There were two orange girls, one with pink and the other red hair, wearing purple outfits. The older looking one in an outfit I wouldn't want to see offline and red hair, flew at me, "Stop! Jumping!" I rolled my eyes, flipping and jumping off her head. Somehow, that got the girl temporarily powerless because Mario Bros physics.

The other one, the one I recognize as the Teen Titans Starfire, rapidly fired at me as I hopped around. I shifted into Crashhopper for a moment, hopping off Starfire's face. My plan backfired- would that count as a pun? I hope not. -as she caught my leg before my thought-to-be-successful plan happened, tossing me around. In the state I was in, my coin was declared useless. "You shall not kick the face, monster!"

"Technically alien," I said, somehow not getting sick or seriously dizzy. Though, I was hurt more than usual when she smacked me into a wall or the ground.

"Keep at it, sister!" The other Starfire said, flying towards my shen gong wu known as the Ninja Sash. The ninja sash had the ability to double a person. The Starfire Sisters are master thieves with the scantly clad one being the master mind. If they could get a third Starfire with the same skill as the older Starfire, they will become unstoppable! Plus, it can increase fire abilities.

...I just want the Ninja Sash so I could play Co-Op Halo: Reach with another me. Even in Equestria, the game is my favorite. "Cortana, acquire DNA sample old school!" The leg Starfire held began to glow, painfully forcing DNA out of Starfire and blissfully through me and into my ultimatrix. "Ultimate Tamaranean!"

I boosted myself out of young Starfire's grasp, flying towards the older Starfire as I gained a muscular humanoid shape. My skin turned gold before changing to a shade of orange as green energy flowed into me and my muscle shirt and armored pants and boots formed, turning white-green for a power boost, this boost also increasing my flight speed. My hair took a long, red color with a pink streak as I reached for the Ninja Sash.

Both of our hands met the sash as I smirked, "Koriand'r sisters, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Trio!"

"Wow, you're a nerd."

"Oh yeah, at least I can be around children." I smirked, expecting an angry look. Instead she looked slightly confused.

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"The strip club called, they want their-"

"OSCAR!" Cortana scolded.

I rolled my green eyes, "Anyway, wanna make a wager?"

"Well, how about I wager my stolen bits."

"Where do you put them anyway?"

"Um... my pockets?" She said like it was the most obvious answer.

"I'm serious. Oh, well, I wager my ultimatrix, but my Cortana program stays with me."

"Sorry... what?!"

Younger Starfire raised her hand, "I put our high valuables and gems on the wager!" She quickly joined us in touching the sash.

I gave out a laugh, "We race for it. Winner takes all."

Older Starfire glared at her sister, "What're you doing?!"

"Well, he wagers his Ultimatrix with all the creatures! If there can be two of you then I should have the power of gods to aid you!"

"We'll discuss it, later." Older Starfire said with clenched teeth.

I sipped some tea from a green plastic glass I found, dossing it away, "Um... Gong Yi Tan Pai."

The two Starfires shared a look as my ideal racetrack formed. The sash pulled us into space where three cars waited on a rainbow road, but not just any rainbow road. All of the Mario Kart rainbow roads combined!

Once again, in the stands my pokemon showed up with Mew riding on a cloud with glasses. Across from them, Hell Boy sat in his stands.

Mew flew over with a street light, "I don't know what is going on, but what I do know is that this is a no rule race. GO!"

I ran into the Mach 5 as older Starfire flew into a Mario Kart from Double Dash and young Starfire joined her sister, riding on the back. Young Starfire used her power of flight to give their car a sudden boost as I followed behind. Transforming into Jury Rigg, messing around with the classic layout. "Fix! Fix! Fix!" I chanted, grabbing a monkey wrench from the trunk. I paused, a huge smile on my demond face as I kicked the wheel, pulling me back on track. I suddenly screamed, "Spaceship!"

My car gunned left, falling through the shortcut to the end of the first rainbow road with the girls at my tail. The driver gave out a seriously loud, "What the hell?!"

Hell Boy shook his head when I passed. "Not cool, bro." Then the Starfires passed, his attention on the driver for unknown reasons. Hint, hint. Wink, wink. Bug in my eye stuff.

"Spaceship!" My racecar slowly began to resemble a blue 90's spaceship made of legos. I poked the (A) on the wheel, the hydraulics pushing me airborne with a jump as I pressed (C), bringing out the wood saws and detaching them for my warp drive. "Spaceship!" I climbed below the hovering craft, detaching and reattaching the wheels for extra lift "Back to the Future Part II" style. "Spaceship!"

My unpredictable movements somehow got me to crash into all of the item boxes, giving me shells for armor plating and those useless blue winged shells were ground into paint I made to give my hodgepodge a blue and green color with bits of red. I bumped into the big (G) button, causing a metal spy bird to fly out. I caught it, yelling, "Spaceship!" Using the lightning bolts as energy and parts from the bird as a way to focus and redirect the power I gained. I suddenly got banana peels, feeding it to my ball and chain pet. It fell off, nearly knocking young Starfire off her kart. "Spaceship!"

The sudden dodge of my presumed dead pet through them off, sending them almost to their doom on the drifting section. When they caught up, driving Starfire fired lasers from her eyes. The parts were grabbed by me, adding to propulsion or controls by size and shape. I even used her attempt at attacking me as a tool, cutting a piece of shell in half to complete my own weapons.

Pressing a <Z> button I made. I wanted it to be a P, but I had a lack of skill in laser art. "Spaceship!" I tapped a piece of metal, making some rubber fly up and knock a golden mushroom into my hand. "Spaceship!" I chanted before eating the shroom. Suddenly colors filled my vision as I saw purgatory. It looked like a cul de sack with three idiots. "Trippy..." I said, my vision returning as I saw the tools in my hands and wrapped in my tail.

The Starfires looked at each other as they witnessed a rainbow demon leap out a the car/spaceship and take pieces of their kart for himself, chanting, "Fix!Spaceship!Destroy!Swag! FixSpaceshipDestroySwag! FiSpashstroyag!" His words speeding up as he took apart their ride and left them with a skeleton kart. After being shot out of a star cannon rainbow tunnel, the spaceship sped up so fast that they were starting to lose sight of the vehicle.

"Spaceship!" As soon as my hands gripped the wheel, I returned to my normal form as casually rode in silence. I watched as the girls abandoned their kart and combined their power to catch up to me some-what. I left my seat to taunt them, but realized that not only was there nobody driving, but Jury Rigg made this spaceship.

The ship rattled and began to fall apart as the radio turned on. I slammed my ultimatrix down, turning into Upgrade and pulling the ship together and turned it into a spaceship themed car as I drifted around some holes in the track and transformed into Grey Matter to keep the parts together with these new changes. "Wires go here, add pressure to hydraulics, what is this?! I swear, I'm adding Charles Xavier's DNA to that numb skull..." I then returned to normal form and began to drive my skating, transforming robot. "On second thought, I could put Charles into Grey Matter-"

"Focus! I'm about to lose my home and your about lose almost all of your super powers and internet access!" I looked over to see the two Starfires neck and neck with me. I made my robot toss them behind me and quickly transformed the vehicle into the car-ship, boosting away from them. I looked back to see them toss the winged blue shell at me and eat a gold crown mushroom.

Young Starfire's eyes went wide as she began to scream and dodge things that weren't even there. She even forced her sister to help her stop Godzilla from killing Carealot's Care Bears. "WehavetosavethemohmygodIseecolorsandtheyarebeautiful! Is this real life?!"

Older Starfire screamed as she tried to get her little sister off her, "Ashley, how do you even have this strength?!"

"Amy! Woah! Amy, I can see our house from here!"

"Oh no-"

"Hi Mom and Daddy-!" Nobody knows what she saw, but she began destroying the track in anger with her sister along for the ride. I'm glad I got Eevee Mon a camera, he's live streaming the race. Then I saw something that made me make a U-turn. Her lasers almost hit my friends and the mushroom's powers were gone. "I will destroy you!"

I shot myself out of a cannon I created, ramming my head straight into the young one, Ashley. "Wow! Paul was right! Nobody wins with a headbutt!" I commented as I fell. She let go of her sister and began to fight me in blind rage. "Code: I'm Gonna Wreck It!" I shouted, shifting into huge, red four armed creature as an orange phantom Wreck it Ralph displayed himself from my ultimatrix, landing into me as Fourarms gained spikey hair, thicker limbs, and an orange shirt with red overalls. "I'm Gonna Wreck It!" I shouted in a deeper voice.

Since I was laser resistant, I could attack her with brute strength and skill. To my left, I heard an engine purr as the older one, Amy, took my car and drove off. "You killed my mom!" Ashley screamed. I rolled my four eyes, crescent kicking her head to the ground. "Wait... where am I?" She jumped up from the ground. "Equestria, showdown, rainbow rocks road! RACE!" She sped off leaving me alone to slowly try to keep up, but then I stopped as I heard a kart pull up.

"Heh, they left me the best part." I transformed into Jury Rigg again, driving the kart and picking up the pieces to my stolen vehicle as I followed and increased speed to a trail of junk that led to my abandoned vehicle. "Fix! Fix! Fix!"

"I'm almost there!" Amy declared.

"Wait for me, dearest sister!" Ashley said, following.

Suddenly the sound of a thousand motorcycles filled the air as Oscar in a much faster and lighter vehicle slipped past them in the best junk race kart ever seen. As he passed, he lied on his side, in his normal form, winking at them. Watching the countless boost attachment junk arrive in first flawlessly before losing some parts, they give it their all to finish as the Ninja Sash appeared into view. Oscar pulled the cord to what looks like a boat engine, revving it until it got to working. "Auto pilot engaged! You should've destroyed my ship!" I suddenly began to taunt them with several dances to a song, replacing the heads with the kart's old steering wheel.

I then moon walked and fell backwards into a metal crossbow that fired me at the Ninja Sash, allowing me to catch it before I fell. Everyone was blinded for a moment as we returned the normal city scenery. I held the sash up in the air with my ultimatrix arm, letting the deflected light shine on the Starfire sister's faces. They glared at me as I took a heroic poise on top of the mountain of loot, letting everything sink in. "N-now Amy, let's not be harsh-!" Ashley was cut off by a missed punch, meant for her face.

"You wagered everything!"

"We can take it back from him!"

"Not all of it!"

I smiled down, "Yeah, you can only hold handfuls while your sister has pockets to carry the stuff!"

Amy looked up at me, "What's that supposed to mean?!"

My hand found a home on my face as I slid my hand down, "You're supposed to be the brains?" I slid down my mountain, transforming into DJ Echo Echo and copying myself to prevent the populous from taking the treasure, leaving five clones to get the guards. Prime Echo Echo sat on the shoulders of another Echo, getting in Amy's face. "If I were to pull you closer with your...shirt? What would happen?"

Long story short, we had the dumbest argument I've ever been in, started another fight, and they got arrested by the guards as I was rewarded with the money that wasn't stolen or was unable to be returned. It was a good day.