The Great Fandom Man!

by Jake Witt

ACT 2 PART 2: DeadPool

From outside of DeadPool's apartment, a bus was parked. Out of the double doors was Oscar, hooking up stereos to a worried looking yellow school bus that looked out of place in this magical pony world. He pressed play, blaring familiar musics in a mix.

DeadPool called down from his window, "I would like to use my own track-" He suddenly stabbed me in the back, "-but, this is cool."

As "Peanut butter jelly" was said, my "body" turned into smoke, revealing a dummy as I swung my two identical Keyblades as he countered and blocked with his katanas in rapid succession. Sparks and flaming fists flew from our weapons as they clashed. Suddenly we backed up as he started firing at me. I took out Cap's shield, tossing it at him as I turned into my version of DeadPool.

"We have that form? Might be useful." An elegant voice in my head said.

"No! He should use Rath! He's a scarey kitty!" A crazy voice cheered with joy as we mirrored each others attacks.

"Oh, great, he can hear us..." a similar elegant voice said.

"I get a clone, awesome!" the similar crazy voice said.

We kept fighting as our unpredictable dance moves and other slight movements caught us both off guard. The healing factor was good, but its a deal breaker.

"Go, Oscar! Go! Aim for his-"
"Go, Wade! Go! Aim for his-"

"OoooOoOohhh~ Spooky!" DeadPool commented.

I placed my hands on my smooth silk mask, "I'm just a recolored DeadPool! How does DeadPool win if DeadPool fail, but if DeadPool fail then how the f*dge do I win?!" I messed with my ultimatrix, scaring the voices and Cortana.

"Oscar, don't do it!" Cortana shouted as Alien X appeared.

"Bad idea, sir. Alien X shouldn't be messed with."

"Fine! I wont merge an insane merc with a god-like being! I'll just become the god-like being!" I slammed the ultimatrix down, my body turning black and starry with two blue eyes and three spikes coming off my head.

---

Inside the realm of Alien X's head, instead of the two usual personalities with me last time I took the form, I got new personalities. Instead of the voice of love and voice of aggression, I got... Mario and Luigi.

Mario's bodyless head glared at me, being the voice of aggression here. "You-a do know this is-a bit overkill?"

Luigi's rotated his head, "Don't be like that brother, he wasn't in the right mind."

I shook my head, "All in favor of retaining this memory while changing into... something else instead of Alien X?"

They nodded their head, replying in sync, "Motion Carried."

---

"Oscar, don't do it!" Cortana shouted as Alien X appeared.

"Bad idea, sir. Alien X shouldn't be messed with."

"Fine! I wont merge an insane merc with a god-like being! I'll just become the god-like being!" I slammed the ultimatrix down, my body growing and my suit turning red and slightly armored, a tail growing, and my bones shifting and changing. When I was done, I looked down at DeadPool then to myself. "Seriously? A Red Ranger Humungosaur? I don't even know much about-"

"I killed the dinosaurs!" DeadPool cried as he stabbed me in the lower chest. I took his katana out and grew to a bigger size, my increased size making me stronger as I stomped at him and tried to body slam the merc, but he kept teleporting. "Hope you don't mind- and you wont -I'm picking the song, now!" He attached an iPod to my speaker system.

Eevee Mon messed with the settings on the speakers, two songs mingling as one.

We circled each other as we closed in and started slapping each other. I punched him with my huge fist and proceeded to make random, spazzed movement and poises. I jumped up, causing an explosion as I threw random kicks and punches. I took out my sword and began to block his gun fire. He started clobbering my head with a wooden mallet. I grabbed him, ramming him into the apartment wall as I became DJ PON3 Echo Echo.

One of my clones changed the song as we were locked in a staring contest that I lost at.

We ran up to each other, before he can fire his rocket launcher I screamed sound waves at him as he appeared behind my back to arch an overhead kick, but a clone formed, catching his leg. "I might leave Cable for you~."

Mockingly, one me hung over the me holding his leg as another me was on the ground looking, sadly at me. "I'm taken." I screamed at him as more clones screamed under him, sending him skyward. So was all of the other little white DJs. I compiled my clones into a falling chamber of noise.

He started slicing us in halves, luckily we had a self destruct mechanism to kill us into powder. Why is that good? Our spare Echo wasn't bound to us so transformed into Wolverine Rath that was shot from a cannon directly at DeadPool as he neared the ground. They began punching at each other as they fell.

"Reintegration Complete. Oh, you're fighting with brute force. Great plan."

"Rath is best plan! Rath will win!" I took out a tiger paw themed keyblade as I kept DeadPool in the air with each swing. But DeadPool took his Two Ton Tunic, making his attacks useless! He then aimed his rocket launcher and fired at my face- It turns out I was in the form of Martian Manhunter- You cheater! Who has my tunic? You dropped it in your battle with Rainbow Dash! I pushed my way into DeadPool's mind, finding it to be like Alien X, but trashy.

"Stuffy, he's hearing us again!"

"I can see that, Crazy."

Three DeadPools stopped playing cards, turning their attention on me. "Oh, its you. Get out of my head."

"You playing poker?" I asked.

"I'm playing poker, Stuffy is playing UNO, and Crazy is playing "Paper, Tx, Thursday". Can you leave?"

"Yeah, do you mind?"

"Tax day is Monday- Not helping!"

"I cant physically beat you, since you have a healing factor and I'm undertrained." I paused with a smirk, "So we're playing a mind game."

"DeadPool isn't game, but I am. Here, I'm Wade Wilson and the head voices rather than my alter ego." Wade explained, changing the scenery to a chess board.

"I don't think I have a form that can play chess in someone's head..." I commented, leaving his mind as DeadPool cheered at my defeat.

"Looks like somebody got butt-hurt!" DeadPool shouted. I returned to my normal form and drove off in the magic school bus... suddenly being chased by the merc and some guards that arrived late to the scene of disaster.

Author's Note:

I cant write DeadPool...

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Alien X (OV)
Mario and Luigi
Humungosaur (UAF)
Red Ranger