• Member Since 25th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Dice Warwick


Dislexic tring to wright storys, makes gammer natzie eyes bleed.

Sequels1

Comments ( 298 )

...interesting i might have to watch this for the time being

Liking what I see so far. And that bit the end made my day! :rainbowlaugh:

Okay, this is going on the list. I got about 100,000 more words of other Fo:E stories to finding first, this this is definitely the next on my list.

See you in a week!

~ Neon Lights

Definitely like the Metro vibe I'm getting from this story.

I'm curious how the things with the pirates will effect this story. I'm not sure the Pirates would pass up such an opportunity of the Metro.

6168947 thanks.

6171857 Luckily the idea of the pirates is one of the more thought out ideas I have, with them being from my last story. Their also fun to wright, if a bit high on the violence.

6172687 Certainly makes for an interesting plugin to your last story of how have the pirates been getting along since then and what they have been up to.

Somehow that radio talk about Sweet Sax doesn't sound to good.

Hope there isn't going to be a problem with the Enclave. The Enclave doesn't have too stellar a reputation with ponies below the clouds.

Sounds sort of odd how their targeting the locals or more specifically, Echo.

I wonder what's this interest in them. Their certainly going to a lot of trouble for them.

6265423 well they are crazy religious pirate ponies, anything can set them off really.

Interesting. Well I guess we figured out what the Queen Lurker has been up to.

They actually sort of remind me of Changlings actually. Though it looks like our heroes have a lot more to be concerned about then them feeding on their love here.

6395036

I agree! I pretty much also perceive them as changling when reading about them.

But yeah! Can't wait to see the next chapter, like always!

6395036 For the most part, they are based off the changelings. In the oneshot I had the odd looking Punga tree in the flux/taint. That was a reference to the "Fiendship is Magic" of the LMP comic, where Chrysalis reveals that she was born from an evil tree where the bones of many dead ponies lie, and given their spark when a little bit of blood of Starswirl the bearded was consumed by the tree. The idea was that the Lurker queen was born much of the same way.

Also thanks for your interest. I've been chomping at the bit to reveal the Lurker for a long time now. I just wish that the story let me have the characters stay at the theme park longer. I so wish I could do a FNAF chapter in this.

Even though the opening bit threw me for quite the loop, I really liked this chapter a lot. The idea of building tension for the coming pirate invasion was really well executed. As well as that, the idea that the outsiders being taken by Orthrus makes a lot of sense, and I think that it was well thought out too. So far, great work, and I can't wait to see the next chapter!

great chapter i really thought sweet died for a minute there. also if you someone to go through chapters and help with Grammar and other such things i would gladly help.

6535233 That be nice, I have an editor doing work, but more help never hurts.

At first I thought I was gonna get bored halfway through R&D, but here I am thoroughly enjoying the 3rd installment of you story.
Also, it obvious that this story is heavily influenced by Metro, but I think I'm also catching little of the fallout 4 trailer here. Mainly with the energy musket.

6590226 good to know there's readers from my fist story here. But your right, Metro has a big influence here, same goes for Fallout 4. I try to keep to what logically works for this world. Mirage ponies live in a limited resource environment, so all there weapons are made to use little resources, thus most of them charge.

Look forward for the next few chapters, Chapter 10 is just waiting for edits, and I'm working on 11.

Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)

It took a few to realize that when you wrote "no males, or trickery" u meant "no malice, or trickery"

Well... At least Vibe got a good feeding before she got the stuffing knocked out of her.

Nice chapter dude also just caught on to the musical instrument names for characters great job. :pinkiehappy:

6721877 well you have to have the good time if your going to have the bad times.

6723244 better late then never, I was inspired by "Memories" with how the writer named all the steel rangers after food.

There were a bunch of grammar and spelling mistakes, which is kind of off-putting. But other than that, this chapter was great!

Those pirates seem to be getting into everything. Not only are they taking over the terrible thugs, but they're also sneaking their way into the confrontations with the hero and her nemesis at the moment.

Well that escape could have gone better.

Probably not such a great idea of flying around during a lightning storm though. I'm sure Pegasi and Gryphons do have some resistance to lightning, but as Derpy Hooves showed in show, it doesn't mean that lightning does not have an effect on them.

6834329 well you could also say that thunderclouds made by Pegasus are not as powerful as raw thunderclouds, also the griffin would ave a bunch of metal on him, which would make it worse.

but any who, thanks for reading.

Well sounds like a lot of stuff has happened after Vibraphone got picked up be that Griffon. Certainly sounds like the pirates haven't changed much from Chumming the waters. Still filled with backstabbers, cultist zealots and dangerous super cannibals.:pinkiecrazy:

Also, interesting idea with the construction ships. Given where some stories have placed some Stables, it makes sense that they would need to find alternative ways to get supplies and materials to the construction sight for some. Those could be helpful if they ever need to repel the pirate fleet. Provided Orthrus doesn't sit on them. Their airships have to be in better condition in those hangers then the ones the pirates have been using in open see for two-hundred years.

It's been interesting to see how a few islands have each a different culture to them. But I do wonder what Vibe's little tag along pony thing is so interested in it. Phobetor doesn't seem like the kind of being that finds interest in just any old secret that a group of ponies might be hiding in their closet.

7047516 well obsession is a dangerous thing, that and your talking about a technologically advanced society. Let's just say that she is interested in secrets that can forwarded her own goals, and leave it at that.

So both changling, and pony lurkers are in this story. I wonder how two royalties will react to meeting one another.

It seems changlings here have some difference from the established ones on the show.

Phobetor is getting closer to getting what she wants.

Though Vibe being plugged in does have me worried. I hope the Ministry is making her into some kind of Winter Soldier.

7258684 well she dose get a new leg... again.

Okay, I stumbled on to this quite a while ago and I finally found it again, and I have to say, I'm liking it. Time to read chapter two!

Well at least we know his body somehow made it to Equestria. So at least we know seeing him again isn't out of the question. Still giving Vibraphone over to the pirates, why do I get the impression that the possibility that she might end up with more then simple cybernetic upgrades from this adventure?

Well that ended on a surreal note. Let's just hope the kid isn't what passes for a Drone in the republic. That would be bad.:pinkiegasp:

7377866 hehe, that would be morbid, but no, it's just a dumb kid thinking their going on an adventure.

Hrmmm. Emphasis on 'equality', widespread propaganda, and the use of the word 'Comrade'. Pony Soviets are always fun characters.

I just read the last chapter of Danse of the Orthrus and I like it.
I think that it's better-written than Stable Tech R&D or Chiming Water. I think that the universe of the story, even if it's not very Fallout: Equestria-ish, is well made.
I like how you are showing the communism, first by explaining how the Republic is useful for some ponies, and then saying what is wrong with this government.
Keep on doing this great story.

7383926 thanks, The hole idea for the equalist, and the Republic at large is that they have made a mostly working socialist state, heavy on welfare. It's a big help to ponies who can no longer support themselves, but further up you go, the more corrupt things are, and eventually it's more apparent that the system that helps the public at large simply keeps them passifyed.

It will be interesting to do a short story that takes place a few generations later, and how the ponies under the system, but not the CCN turn out. From what I've heard, contryed that lived under communism for generations develop a culture that lies a lot, and is highly pesimistic about government. Not the happiest place to live. It could easly be a a detectice story were all the ponies are lieg about something, and none trust the detectice.

But ya, overall I did not want to depict the normal ponies as bad ponies, they simply live in the system.

I would like to see Graceful Gust and Merit Cross get into an argument at some point over duty versus freedom. Like both of them get caught by Team "I got no body to love me" and shoved into separate perspex cubes while Vibraphone does something. Where upon they argue about the Enclave and the issues that led to her being a Dashite, and why Merit is still so loyal even after everything done to him.

7388933 I do plan on something like that in mind, the two defiantly come off as polar opposites. I have a good idea for the settings for such an event, and it shouldn't slow don the overall story all that much. As for Merit, not much would need to be said about him that is already said, it's in his blood. He is the grate grand son of a character from Merchants of Hope, Star Cross if I remember right. If you know anything about the cross family, and all the fics they appear in, they bleed Enclave.

For some reason I don't trust Naqara. There's just something about her that screams "Oops. I throw you under the bus.(While she quietly smiles looking down upon you as the bus is just about to hit you.)" Hopefully I'm just imagining that and its just the intensity of how she pursues her duty that's throwing me off.

At least it seems like they made it back with Vibraphone.

7423931

ya, Shes got a bit of the Queen bitch vibe. But remember, Council members get their potion through rank, and specialization. So I doubt a millinery carer, security specialist is going to be anything but an intense pony.

7423931
Obviously she is the Republic sleeper agent, but is secretly working for the pirates, who had her enter Orthus in an attempt to understand their foes.
In the end, she works for herself, and could leave at any time, but the refreshments involve a homemade caramel wafer cookie that she can't do without.

Seems like this chapter is filled with truths being revealed to quite a few ponies.

Not really sure if Vibraphone is making the right moral choice to insist Phorminx convince his daughter to go along with Naqara plans for her. I can understand the reasoning And Harp could definitely help with an alliance. But it's also making put her neck out there.

There will be definitely others that would see Harp as a threat to there plans. And we're not just speaking about pirates and the Republic if what Phorminx let Harp know about her family is any indication.

7459597 and remember, it was one of her siblings who had set her up in the first place, so going back home means going to a place were someone had tried to get you killed. But then, that's politics for you.

Seems like the Republic really left an impression at the end their on Vibraphone. Hope she can get a handle on it, though can anyone really get over having their body hijacked and having their body nearly handed over like some peace of equipment being rented out?

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