Chapter 7: Eon Master of Space and Time
Chapter 7: Eon Master of Space and Time
“You can speak!?” Fluttershy gasped in surprise. “…But I don’t understand, primates can’t speak, though I’ve never seen one exactly like you.”
“I take it you’re the resident animal caretaker then?” Chris asked, although he already knew the answer to that. “You had me profiled as a primate pretty quickly. I guess you really know your stuff,” Chris said with obvious admiration for Fluttershy in his tone.
Fluttershy nodded excitedly. “I have many animal friends, but I’m really just an amateur when it comes to caretaking. I’ve never had any real schooling for it.”
“Well, you must have a natural talent then,” Chris said. “I mean, if the state of the animals around here is anything to go by.”
Fluttershy looked down in embarrassment at the praise. “Well…I do what I can,” she said softly.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash couldn’t wipe the stupefied expression off of her face as Fluttershy and Chris conversed with one another.
“Hey, since when did Fluttershy become so…not shy?” she asked no pony in particular. “She can hardly look another pony in the eye when she’s speaking, but here she is, talking to this alien like it’s nothing.”
“I’m guessin he probably jus' looks like ah big ol' shaved monkey to Fluttershy,” Applejack said. “She’s shyer 'round other ponies than animals after all.”
“I guess you’re right,” Rainbow Dash agreed. “It must be like if one of her pets learned to talk or something. Is that why you brought this guy here?” she asked.
“We brought him here so 'Shy could fix up his injuries,” Applejack answered. “Or have yah not noticed how roughed up he is?”
Rainbow Dash narrowed her vision towards Chris before her eyes widened slightly. “Gross, I didn’t even notice how banged up he was. He get his flank kicked by a minotaur or something?”
“I couldn’t tell yah how he got in that state,” Applejack said. “We ain’t really heard all the details of his story jus' yet,” she concluded.
“So, let me get this straight: You guys are hanging around with an alien that you don’t know anything about?” Rainbow Dash asked sounding somewhat surprised.
“I reckon that’s the short of it,” Applejack said.
“Wow, that seems pretty… stupid of you guys,” Rainbow Dash said with a smug expression. “I mean, what if he was dangerous and tried to eat somepony?”
“Hey, we found him.” Sweetie Belle cut in. “And he didn’t try to hurt any of us, that’s how we know.”
Applejack nodded in agreement with Sweetie Belle. “'Sides that, I felt Ah could trust him.”
Rainbow Dash simply shook her head as she went back to observing Fluttershy, who had now returned to inspecting Chris’s injuries.
“I’ll have to clean these before I bandage them,” Fluttershy said to Chris, as she began leading him towards her cottage with Rarity following along. “And that gash on your head will need a couple of stitches, um, if that’s okay with you, I mean.”
Chris instinctively reached for his forehead and winced in pain. “Damn, I had forgot about that.” Chris groaned. “You sure you can handle something like stitches?” Chris asked, unsure of how the process would go, factoring in that Fluttershy had hooves instead of hands.
“Don’t worry, I’ve done this plenty of times for animals that have come to me injured,” Fluttershy tried to assure her skeptic patient.
“Well, if you’re confident then,” Chris said with a look or resignation.
When they arrived inside of Fluttershy’s home, Chris was directed to take a seat on a decent sized chair by Fluttershy, before she went off to fetch the supplies she would need.
Chris used that moment to take in Fluttershy’s place. He couldn’t help but notice the striking similarities to a human home. In the living room where he sat there was a modest size couch, where Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash had taken residence. Situated right in front of said couch, was a small coffee table. Looking to his left, he could make out a kitchen area with, what he assumed was, a gas stove. Aside from that, the kitchen was completed with a small round table with two chairs and several cupboards.
‘I wonder if they have indoor plumbing,’ Chris mused, just as he felt a small weight land on his lap. Looking down at what had caused it, he smiled at a white rabbit that was looking at him with curious eyes.
“What’s up little buddy?” Chris said, as he made to scratch the bunny on top of its head. The rabbit seemed to appreciate the gesture and allowed Chris to continue. “I take it you’re one of Fluttershy’s friends then?” Chris asked offhandedly, but to his surprise the rabbit actually nodded a yes in response. “Well, that was unexpected,” was all Chris could manage to say, just as Fluttershy came trotting back into the room with a medical box held between her teeth.
Setting the case down, Fluttershy gave the rabbit what she believed to be a stern look. “Angel, you weren’t bothering our guest, were you?”
Angel shook his head before jumping out of Chris’s lap and bounding away.
“He wasn’t a bother, was he?” Fluttershy asked, while she began opening up the case and pulling out a bottle of alcohol, gauze, bandages, surgical sutures, and scissors.
Chris eyed the bottle of alcohol nervously, as he watched Fluttershy bite down on the cap and pull it off.
Fluttershy was able to catch the look on Chris’s face and gave him a soft look in understanding. “I’m so sorry, I’ve run out of peroxide, but we could always use soap and water…”
Chris shook his head while observing some cuts that were already showing the first signs of infection. “I know that stuff is going to kill, but water isn’t really going to help at this point,” Chris reasoned, more with himself than with Fluttershy. “Let’s just get this over with," he said, as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing more scrapes and cuts on his body.
“Good heavens, just how did you get all of those?” Rarity suddenly spoke up from her position on the couch.
“Before I got here, I took a nasty fall down a hill and dropped into a twenty foot deep pit,” Chris said, as he braced himself for the incoming pain that would ensue from alcohol meeting an open wound.
“Are you ready?” Fluttershy asked, as she finished soaking some gauze in the alcohol.
Chris merely nodded and Fluttershy got to work on cleaning off the cuts. Chris couldn’t help but grit his teeth as Fluttershy did her job. ‘Fuck whoever came up with this shit,’ Chris thought irritably to himself.
After Fluttershy had finished, she wrapped the cuts that needed them in bandages and beamed at her hoof work. “Well, that takes care of these ones at least,” she said before eyeing the gash on Chris’s head.
“Um, can you sit on your haunches? I mean, if it’s not too much trouble, that is,” Fluttershy requested while pulling out a pair of tweezers from the medical kit.
Chris pulled himself from the chair and sat cross-legged on the ground, so that Fluttershy could have easy access to his forehead.
“You have some small pieces of gravel stuck in there,” Fluttershy explained. “If it’s okay with you I’ll remove it.”
“You’re the doctor here,” Chris said.
“Okay then,” Fluttershy said, as she picked up the tweezers between her teeth with surprising dexterity. Positioning herself over the wound, she started plucking out the lodged gravel shards from the cut on Chris’s head.
Chris grimaced with every piece of gravel Fluttershy removed, but managed to hold still.
Once she was satisfied, Fluttershy thoroughly cleaned the cut off and Chris actually found himself tearing up from the pain.
“That must really hurt, huh?” Scootaloo asked from the side of Chris.
“It’s not the most pleasant feeling,” Chris answered crossly, as he watched Fluttershy actually pick up the sutures with her teeth. ‘Holy shit, she’s actually going to stitch me up using her mouth.’
“Just try and hold still,” Fluttershy advised, although it sounded more like a mumble with her trying to multitask with her mouth.
Chris didn’t respond, and Fluttershy took that as her cue to start. After going through the skin a few times with the thread and needle, she pulled back on it tightly, closing the cut.
Picking up the small pair of scissors with her teeth, she cut the end of the sutures.
“There, all done,” she said with a content smile.
Chris felt his forehead and moved his fingers across the stitches. “I have to admit, that was pretty impressive, I mean you stitching me up with just your mouth. I can’t thank you enough for your help,” Chris said, fighting back the urge to scratch Fluttershy behind the ears.
“Oh, it was my pleasure; I just couldn’t leave you in that state after all,” Fluttershy said with an ever-present smile.
“Hey, now that you’re all fixed up, let’s hear how you got here,” Rainbow Dash suddenly cut in, as she flew from the couch and landed in between Fluttershy and Chris. “That was the deal, right?”
“You ever hear of the saying 'patience is a virtue'?” Chris asked the overeager pony.
“No,” Rainbow Dash said bluntly. “So, let’s hear it already.”
“You mean, you didn’t come from the Everfree forest?” Fluttershy asked, now even more curious than she had been.
“'Fraid not,” Chris said while taking back his previous seat on the chair, and the remainder of the ponies gathered around to hear him out. “If you could hold off on the questions until after I’m finished, that would be good.”
Getting a few nods of understanding, Chris began.
Elsewhere
Twilight appeared back in Keon’s room with a loud pop. “Sorry that took so long,” she said with a slightly disheveled look. “I had to take a trip to the archives to find this,” she said, as she revealed an old worn book she had been levitating behind her and dropped it on the floor in front of Keon.
“Some dusty old book?” Keon said with a raised eyebrow at the book.
“Not just any old book,” Twilight corrected. The grin she had been wearing earlier had returned in full force, as she opened it and pointed a hoof at a picture. “Tell me, does this look familiar?”
Keon, along with Celestia and Luna, leaned forward to look at the picture Twilight had been pointing to.
Keon’s eyes widened slightly at what he was seeing. “That’s it, that’s the damn bird that brought me here.”
“Twilight Sparkle, how is it that you knew this?” Luna asked.
Twilight beamed something fierce. “I came across this book a long time ago, when I was studying the origins of teleportation,” Twilight began to explain. “According to our history, unicorns learned teleportation by studying these birds, that they came to call EONs.”
Celestia couldn’t help but smile at her studious protégé.
“EON?” Keon repeated the word. “Never heard of it, but it’s kind of cool, it has three-fourths of my name in it.”
“Well, it’s actually short for Euclidean Ornis Neornithes,” Twilight explained.
“So, teleporting bird didn’t sound cool enough?” Keon said with a thoughtful expression.
“Um… I guess not,” Twilight said before continuing where she left off. “EONs were known as masters of space and time. In truth, it was never concluded if they were even from our world or not, because the nature of their ability.”
“'Tia, were you aware of such a species on our world?” Luna asked her elder sister.
Celestia shook her head in response. “This is the first I am hearing of this, as well.”
“All things considered, it’s not really surprising you haven’t,” Twilight reasoned. “The study of EON’s ceased well over two thousand years ago, you were more than likely only a foal back then. And there haven’t been any of them seen in about fifteen hundred years.”
“Fifteen hundred years!?” Keon shouted. “And here I was just thinking I’d go out bag one and ride its ass back home.” Keon groaned in frustration.
“Well, they’re not actually large enough to ride,” Twilight said, apparently having missed the sarcasm in Keon’s voice.
“Besides, if you were brought here by one, that means that they still have to be around, even if no pony has seen one in so long.”
“I’m curious, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna interjected. “Why did the study of such a creature cease?”
“As you can imagine, simply being around them can prove dangerous,” Twilight said while gesturing towards Keon for an example. “Ponies had originally attempted to domesticate them, in order to use them as a means to traverse vast distances. Unfortunately EONs are quite mischievous and would often transport ponies that attempted to tame them to random corners of the world. Some ponies simply never returned,” Twilight added.
“One guess where those unlucky bastards ended up,” Keon quipped.
“More then likely your world, among others,” Twilight reasoned. “If those ruins you spoke of can count as any evidence, I’d say at least a few where brought there.”
“Has anypony ever discerned how their ability works?” Celestia asked.
“It’s not entirely conclusive, more of a theory really,” Twilight said, “but it would seem that they can bend space-time to meet at a single point, joining those two areas, allowing anything to cross over from either side. This would explain why the cavern filled with water,” Twilight said while looking at Keon. “The water that filled that cavern was actually a piece of Equestria joining with your world.”
“As I recall, the guards originally found you floating in the garden’s pond,” Luna confirmed.
“If this is all true, then I am now very curious as to the whereabouts of your friend, the one you mentioned in your tale,” Celestia said. “By all means, he should have arrived here with you, as well, would he not?”
“Damn, you’re right,” Keon agreed. “Where the hell is that bastard?”
Twilight looked thoughtful. “It’s possible he simply didn’t cross over, or perhaps EONs are capable of joining more than two points to one another at a time. But if that’s the case, your friend could very well be anywhere in our world or even in another one.”
“Shit, he could be in some real hellhole right now?” Keon muttered to himself.
“What do you suppose we do about this, 'Tia?” Luna asked flatly. “Our world could prove quite dangerous for somepony that doesn’t know anything about it.”
“I’m afraid I am not entirely sure how to approach this, either,” Celestia said. “The world is vast, and we can’t very well search it in its entirety.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Keon suggested to the two princesses. “My boy Chris can take care of himself just fine, besides he’s not an idiot like me.” Keon feigned a laugh, although the mares could easily see through his mask of optimism.
“I’m truly sorry,” Celestia tried. “If there was anything we could do...”
“I told you, it's cool. I’m not gonna ask you to look for a needle in a haystack on top of the hospitality you’ve already shown me,” Keon argued before taking notice of Pinkie, who had apparently crawled off into a corner with his backpack.
“I knew it was too damn quiet,” Keon said, as he called over to Pinkie. “You know, it’s kind of rude to go through my stuff like I’m not even here.”
Pinkie shifted her body in order to look at Keon. “Sorry, you guys where having so much fun talking about all that boooorrrrriiiinnnnng stuff, I didn’t want to interrupt,” Pinkie explained before holding up a sleek black device in her hooves. “What’s this thing?”
“It’s a netbook,” Keon answered her.
“A book?” Pinkie said with a shrug, as she casually tossed it over her shoulder in disinterest.
“No, damn it!” Keon shouted as he watched his netbook sail through the air.
Luckily for him, it had suddenly become encased in a shroud of purple magic.
“Pinkie, have more respect for another pony's property,” Twilight scolded her pink friend. “Sorry, about that,” Twilight said, as she levitated the netbook towards Keon with a somewhat strained expression.
“Thanks,” Keon said while plucking the device out of the air.
“No problem. Do you think you could show me the contents of that book?” Twilight asked hopefully. “I’d love to read material from a different world.”
Keon found himself laughing at the comment. “You ponies still have a lot to learn, if you think this is an actual book.”
Twilight grinned bashfully. “I guess that’s why it’s so heavy,” she commented.
Keon had a look of confusion on his face while hefting the netbook up and down. “You’re kidding, right? This thing hardly weighs anything.”
“So, it wasn’t just me then.” Luna piped in, earning the attention of the room’s occupants.
“What do you mean, Princess?” Twilight asked.
“When I first demonstrated magic to Mr. Keon, I noticed that he felt oddly heavy as I lifted him,” Luna explained. “In normal circumstances, I can lift a few tons of weight before I even begin to feel any form of resistance. Somepony as small as Mr. Keon shouldn’t have caused even the slightest of strain.”
“Interesting,” Twilight commented to herself thoughtfully. “Do you mind if I perform a quick experiment?” Twilight asked Keon.
“I’m all yours,” Keon said with a shrug.
Twilight nodded, as her horn began to glow and Keon was shrouded in a veil of magic. Twilight actually found herself gritting her teeth, as she struggled with Keon’s weight. With a final push of effort, Twilight was able to lift Keon about a foot off of the ground.
A moment later the magic around Keon dissipated, and he landed back on the ground.
“That’s… impossible.” Twilight panted from the exertion. “I can lift an ursa minor with little difficulty, so why can’t I bear your weight?”
“The fact that Mr.Keon is from a world, one without magic, may have a great deal to do with it,” Celestia reasoned. “I suspect magic affects him, and anything from his world, in an entirely different manner.”
“That’s both fascinating and frightening,” Twilight admitted before shaking away the thoughts and bringing her attention back to the device in Keon’s hand.
Seeing that Twilights attention had now shifted back to his netbook, Keon figured he may as well explain it along with his camera.
“I can tell you’re curious about this little baby,” Keon said while holding up the netbook.
Twilight nodded enthusiastically.
“Yo…uh pink pony.” Keon directed his voice to Pinkie Pie, who had apparently found his spare set of clothes, and was now wearing a black t-shirt with the words "No Bitch Assness" etched on the front of it.
“Yeeesss?” Pinkie said with a wide grin.
Keon couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of this pony wearing the shirt. “Pass me my stuff, we’re about to have show and tell,” Keon said after he stopped laughing.
“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie said, as she bounded up to Keon and handed him his large backpack. “Here yah go.”
“Thanks,” Keon said, as he scratched Pinkie on top of the head, receiving a giggle from her in response.
Taking his seat back on the bed, Keon looked over his audience. “I’m not entirely sure how technologically advanced this world is, but I have a general idea,” Keon began. “Now, keep in mind, my species may lack magic, but we’re masters of ingenuity. It’s how we became the apex predators of our world, regardless of physical shortcomings,” Keon said as, he opened up the netbook and powered it up.
The mares stared at the device in wonder as it began to light up.
“Give it a moment to boot up,” Keon said while reaching into his backpack and pulling out his camera. Turning it on, he focused the lens on Pinkie. “Say 'cheese'.”
Pinkie happily obliged. “Cheeeese!” she squealed as the camera admitted a bright flash.
Keon nodded approvingly. “What do you think?” Keon asked while showing them the display with a now grinning Pinkie Pie displayed across it.
“It takes photos!?” Twilight said while observing the high res display of Pinkie and clearly being impressed.
“Yeah, along with video,” Keon said while switching the camera to recording mode. “Hey, do something,” he directed Twilight.
“Like what?” Twilight asked uncertainly.
“I don’t know,” Keon said before pointing at Spike. “Make him fly, or something.”
“Okay,” Twilight said as she levitated spike a few feet from the ground. “Sorry about this Spike,” Twilight apologized.
“Happy to be of assistance,” Spike said.
Twilight nodded, as she began making Spike perform acrobatics throughout the room effortlessly. After a moment Twilight set spike back down and he fell to his rump, apparently dizzy from the experience.
“That was awesome,” Keon said, as he made to show them the recording of what had just taken place.
Even Celestia and Luna found themselves now impressed with the device.
“What a splendid creation,” Luna said with a smile. “Imagine all of its potential uses.”
“Yeah, we use video recordings for a shit ton of things back home,” Keon said as he set the camera back down and turned his attention back to his netbook. “Now, on to this,” he said while turning the display, so everyone could view it.
“This netbook is basically just a smaller, cheaper version of a laptop or portable computer,” Keon started his explanation. “They’re pretty much a general purpose device, used for storing data and solving problems. I mostly use mine just to store photos and video. But I’ve got a few other neat little programs on it.”
“It has the ability to problem solve, how so?” Twilight inquired.
Keon scratched his head thoughtfully and thought of a way to demonstrate. “Well, it’s not like I can show you the internet or anything, but lets try this,” Keon said as he clicked on a calculator icon. “Can you multiply large numbers?”
Twilight simply nodded.
“Okay then, how about a little race?” Keon challenged and Twilight happily accepted. Keon turned his attention to Luna. “Mind giving us a large number to multiply?”
“Very well,” Luna replied with an amused smile. “How large of a number?”
“As large as you want,” Keon replied with a shrug of indifference.
“Just a second,” Twilight said as she pulled out a quill and parchment from her saddle bag. “Okay, all ready.”
“Damn, that’s old school,” Keon stated with a smirk at the quill and parchment. “Alright, Luna, let us have it.”
Luna thought on it for a moment before coming up with something. “Alright how about this, ninety three thousand five hundred eight seven times eight thousand four hundred seventy two.”
Twilight hadn’t even finished scribbling the number down before Keon had said “Done.”
“What!?” Twilight spat in surprise. “How can you be done when I haven’t even started?”
“I told you it could problem solve,” Keon said, finding Twilight’s irritation quite humorous.
Twilight scrutinized the large number on the display with a critical eye. “Seven hundred ninety two million eight hundred sixty nine thousand and sixty four? How do I know that’s correct?”
“Finish working it out on that parchment,” Keon answered bluntly.
Twilight grumbled as she got to work on the math problem. After a few minutes Twilight's quill dropped and she resigned herself to her defeat. “It was right.”
“Netbook one, Twilight zero,” Pinkie giggled, getting only an irritated glare from Twilight in response.
“Is there anything else you could demonstrate for us?” Celestia suddenly spoke.
“Well, like I said, I can’t show you the internet, which is the most important and best feature of a computer, but I could show you videos and pictures and whatever else I have stored on here.” Keon offered.
“Internet,” Luna repeated the word. “What does it entail?”
“Think of the internet as an endless library of information that can be accessed with the touch of a button,” Keon said.
“That sounds really useful,” Twilight said, having finally lost her irritation. “Do you think you can show us some of these videos?”
Keon looked at the battery icon with a grimace. “That’s gonna kill the battery, and once that happens this thing will be useless.”
“How do you normally replenish its power?” Luna asked.
“By plugging it up to its charger, but I don’t suppose you guys have working electricity here?” Keon asked, already expecting the answer.
“Of course we do,” Twilight piped in.
“No shit?” Keon said, somewhat in disbelief. “I was expecting to hear that everything was powered by magic around here.”
“Originally, Equestria relied on magic as its main source of power; however, over the years we’ve adopted more modern ways of doing things from neighboring countries,” Celestia explained. “Thanks to the Deer’s resourcefulness, we have a small, yet fully functional electrical grid.”
“Color me impressed,” Keon said with an approving nod. “Well, I guess if my battery life won’t be a problem, I can show you a few things,” Keon confirmed, as he opened up a folder labeled "videos". “But I’ll warn you, I don’t really keep educational shit on here, just mostly my favorite shows and movies.”
Pinkie draped herself over Keon’s shoulder, to better view the display. “What’s South Park?” she asked curiously while pointing a hoof at the name.
“It’s a cartoon with mature humor,” Keon said. “You know: sex, drugs, racism, pretty much everything that’s morally wrong to laugh at.”
“That sounds terrible,” Twilight commented.
“That doesn’t mean it’s not a funny cartoon,” Keon said with a simple shrug.
“A cartoon, what’s a cartoon?” Pinkie asked, feeling oddly intrigued by the word.
“Something I've got the feeling you’re going to love,” Keon said while scrolling down for something that would appeal more to a general public.
“So, what’s Milf buster’s volume three, or Call of Booty?” Pinkie questioned curiously.
“Oops,” Keon muttered as he hastily scrolled past his generous porn collection. “Those are private, better to forget what you saw.”
Pinkie looked at Keon suspiciously for a moment before grinning. “Okie dokie then.”
Sighing to himself for having dodged an embarrassing bullet, he decided to go with the Avengers. He figured they could get a general understanding of what his world was like even though it would be heavily exaggerated.
It had only taken ten minutes for the mares to have become completely transfixed with what they were watching. Pinkie, Spike, and even Luna had exceptionally large grins plastered on their faces as they watched. Celestia and Twilight, on the other hand, appeared to be more fascinated with the amount of technological wonders presented, as opposed to the action.
Once the movie ended each occupant looked as though they had just gotten off a rollercoaster.
“That was…AWESOME!” Pinkie howled in glee. “The way the green meanie smashed all the bad guys!”
“No, that Thor guy was the coolest,” Spike piped in.
“It was quite exhilarating,” Luna added, trying her best to conceal how giddy she felt. “Mr. Fury is an excellent strategist, your world is lucky to have him.”
“Wow, I really had no idea humans where that advanced,” Twilight mused. “I found myself really impressed with Mr. Stark’s genius.”
Meanwhile Celestia was deep in thought. Never throughout her years could she have imagined technology could progress to such a level. The humans truly were masters of ingenuity, she admitted. Overall, she was left with much to consider.
“I take it you guys liked the movie then?” Keon asked absentmindedly.
“It was quite the experience,” Celestia answered. “I was very moved by Captain America, he seems like a human with a very strong sense of justice and honor, not unlike my own guards.”
“Just keep in mind, everything you saw in that movie was all fake, just smoke and mirrors,” Keon said. “We do have most of that stuff, but all the heroes in that movie don’t really exist. And we definitely haven’t faced an alien invasion.”
“But you still have the buildings that reach into the sky, and the four wheeled vehicles and flying machines and…”
Twilight was cut off by Keon, who simply said, “Yes.”
Twilight beamed. “There is just so much I want to know, not just about technology, but humans in general,” Twilight gushed as a quill and parchment found its way in front of her.
“You think Q&A could wait?” Keon pleaded while looking at the parchment. “I’m kind of beat, and I’m damn hungry.”
“Of course, you’ve been more than generous with us,” Celestia said. “We’ll be having dinner shortly, feel free to rest until then,” Celestia offered, as she stood up, followed by Luna. “Luna and I still have preparations to make for the arrival of the ambassadors.”
“Ambassadors?” Keon repeated, making sure he had heard correctly.
“Yes,” Luna confirmed. “We can’t very well keep you secret from the other nations' leaders. If they learned of you without us being the ponies to tell them, distrust would soon ensue afterwards.”
“Who’s all coming to the party?” Keon groaned.
“The griffins, zebras, minotaurs, and Antelope will all be sending ambassadors, while Queen Deerling has chosen to come herself,” Celestia answered.
“Sounds like fun,” Keon quipped sarcastically.
“We’ll leave you to your own devices then.” Celestia bid him farewell, as she Luna, Pinkie, Spike and, reluctantly, Twilight exited out of the room.
Keon waited until they were gone, before he crashed down onto the bed like a ton of bricks. “Jesus, this has been one hell of a ride.” He huffed. ‘I just might be stuck here. After all, it already sounds like they’re trying to weasel me into their damn society with this meeting with these bluebloods,’ Keon thought to himself.
“What’s the point of it all, really? When I’m dead, humanity on this world goes with me.” Sighing to himself, he dug his hand into his pocket and grinned at the bag he pulled out. “Why the fuck not, I’ll probably be the first of anything that’s ever blazed in this castle.” He chuckled.
After Keon rolled what he considered a nice sized joint, he lit it up and laid back down on the bed. “Now, to set the mood,” he said while opening up the iTunes app on his netbook and clicking on his playlist, titled "four twenty". “At least I still got a small piece of home with this.” Keon chuckled, only to be interrupted by a loud.
“Whatcha doing!?”
Having been caught by surprise, Keon coughed up the smoke he was currently holding in his lungs. “Da-Damn it P-Pink pony,” Keon choked out. “What are you doing back here?”
“I was bored, but then I remembered how much fun you are, so here I am,” Pinkie explained.
“Sorry, Pinkie, but this is me and Mary's time right now and we’d like to be alone,” Keon said while gesturing to the jay in his hand.
Pinkie scrutinized the smoldering oddity in Keon’s hand with one bright big blue eye. “Can I try it?”
Keon was taken aback by the question, but remembered that she didn’t even know what the hell it was. “Hell no,” he answered flatly.
“What? Why not, you seemed to be having fun puffing on that,” Pinkie argued the matter. “So, why not let me have fun too?”
“Look, I’m a lot of things, but I’m not about to let some kid…I mean filly get blunted with me,” Keon argued back. “So, just watch some South Park or something on my netbook while I finish this off,” Keon said as he put the joint back in his mouth. "This ain't no candy after all" he finished.
Pinkie narrowed her eyes at Keon before shoving her face into his. “Listen here mister, I’m not a filly, I’m a full grown mare that can make decisions for herself, thank you very much.”
Keon peered at Pinkie through half lidded eyes before asking. “How old are you?”
“Twenty,” she answered.
Keon found that strange, considering her personality pointed to her being no older then twelve or thirteen. Shrugging to himself he passed Pinkie the jay. “Remember, you asked.”
Pinkie grinned as she fumbled with the joint in her hooves before finally getting a good grip on it. Pinkie put it to her lips and mimicked what she had seen Keon do. She sucked in and probably inhaled more forcibly than she should have, and was now having a coughing fit.
Keon laughed as he took the joint from Pinkie and patted her on the back to help her with her coughing. “That was a good hit, Pinkie, you did it like a champ,” Keon congratulated, as he took another hit himself and blew the smoke from his nostrils.
“Well, that wasn’t really fun,” Pinkie responded. “So, why do you do it?”
“Trust me, it’s going to get fun,” Keon said while passing the joint back to Pinkie. “Just wait until you start to feel it.”
Pinkie looked somewhat skeptical, but took the joint back from Keon none the less.
It was forty minutes later, when Twilight was making her way back to Keon’s room in order to bring him down for dinner. She had been wondering where Pinkie had gotten off to as well, but figured she could find her later.
When she approached Keon’s door, she could clearly hear the sounds of unbridled laughter taking place behind it. Cocking her head, she slowly opened the door and was greeted with the sight of Pinkie rolling on the floor, literally howling in laughter.
Twilight noticed Keon was laughing uncontrollably as well.
Upon seeing Twilight, Pinkie sprang to her hooves and trotted over to Twilight, giggling all the way. “Oh, Twilight, me and Keon were just watching this hilarious cartoon he called Family guy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything funnier in my whole life.”
“Uh, Pinkie are you okay?” Twilight asked curiously. “Your eyes are all red and droopy.”
“That’s 'cause she’s baked,” Keon droned before bursting back into laughter, quickly followed by Pinkie.
“Why is everypony laughing?” Twilight asked, now completely confused with the situation.
“Because you’re a talking pony” Keon responded.
“How is that funny?” Twilight asked, only getting more laughter from Keon in response. Rolling her eyes at the strangeness, she pointed a hoof towards the door. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you two, but its dinner time.”
“Yes, I’m fucking starved,” Keon said while springing to his feet and walking past Twilight.
Twilight merely shook her head at Keon before stating, “I hope you two come to your senses before we meet the Princesses.”
First off a big thank you to DF for editing this chapter and cleaning up my previous ones. I've also decided to start adding in at least one picture to every chapter starting from this point. Just to add a little more to the story. Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and don't judge Keon, he's only human. Well see you with next update.
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Getting Pinkie high? Haven't seen that since Karon did that...
It's always a blast.
-Glassed
Pinkie's high...
Equestria is doomed.
Nice job on the pictures, they help a lot
You had me at "zoologists". :P Putting this under "Read Later". ;)
Angel was nice...what madness is this!? Fun story so far.
Oh lord pinkie got high
1170018 Nah, I'd think that Equestria would actually be safer with her in that state. Well, maybe not their corn-chip industry...?
Finally i have been wait for you to update for a whole month
The baker is baked....Why didn't I see that coming?
hahahaha, well done. NEXT; Will Chris get to Canterlot? Will they ever get back home? WILL KEON GO THE THE MEETING WITH THE AMBASSADORS TOTALLY BAKED?!?!?!?!?!?
For multiple chapters now, I had been expecting Keon to smoke with Pinkie. You almost had me fooled when she walked off with the rest of the group, author.
Still liking this story; the way you've been handling the cultural interaction is definitely fun.
That's the third or fourth time I've read a fic in which Pinkie get's high at some point.
...Why? Why do people write this?
Quite honestly, I just don't find it that funny.
It makes sense that the first things humans would introduce to a new planet are pornography, crude humour and narcotics. Can guns be far behind?
So fucking great! Love it. I want more of it!
Bronydragon
Yes! Finally an update!
lol the dinner can only end good
Heh...
And then they find out Equestria uses European plugs. The humans are ruined forever! Mwahahaha!
Let Pinkie watch south park, she'll love it.
The awesomeness of this...*manly tears shed.* ...magnitude.
BEST STORY EVAR!!!
It looks like Pinkie is...
*sunglasses*
...baked as a cake.
hrm, a stone human and pony head to a massive banquet after smoking a whole bag of hash..... there will be munchies, and they will be legendary!
ug, it's not going to look good if that fool keeps cursing in front of the princesses. So disrespectful.
Well, well, well. I can see some plot forming in the fut...*Facepalms* I think that i have been corrupted while being in the fandom. Anyway I can see where you story might go and I love the polar opposites of the two characters. The brash with royalty and the brains with the common folks and children. I cannot wait more from you. Also, nice drawings.
img33.imageshack.us/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg
Also, about effing time!
Human introduces Pinkie to marijuana.
Well, this is a first.
YOU GAVE PINKIE DELTA-9-TETRA-HYDROCANNABINOL!?!?!?! YOU FOOL!! Equestria equine neurotransmitter receptors don't have the same binding affinity for the chemical as humans! It could be deadly!
*Pinkie waves a hoof* Ah, I'm perfectly... *her face twists... she wheezes... and falls over having a seizure*
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *jumps into Star Trek Next Generation, Dr. Crusher's medlab, where she is talking to Picard* Sorry! Just need to borrow a neural synchronizer and the anti-toxin hypospray! Bit of an emergency involving substance abuse by a pink alien equine in another dimension! Bye now! *he pops out*
*Picard blinks* Was that one of the Q?
*back in Equestria Alondro administers the treatment! But it's not working!* Arg! This setting is too low to compensate for the chronal discrepancies in Pinkie's abnormal quantum structure! I have no choice... I must use... MAXIMUM SETTING!!!
*Pinkie convulses as the machine whines and sparks and then explodes! When the dust settles, Pinkie is sitting upright and blinking, but her hair is straight*
*Twilight nervously approaches, fearing a Cupcakes outbreak* Pinkie... are you alright?
*Pinkie turns with a very calm and methodical expression* Why yes, Twilight Sparkle. It seems the transdimensional medical equipment has completely restored my synaptic functions to optimal capacity.
*Everypony gasps in shock and horror. Alondro sobs!* I've turned Pinkie Pie into Data! I'm the worst brony ever!
*Pinkie suddenly cackle and her mane poofs* GOTCHA!!!
*everypony shrugs and smiles simultaneously* That's our Pinkie Pie! (theme music plays and credits roll)
(note: I was not on anything when I wrote this. I'm ALWAYS like this!
)
Pinkie Pie is high… oh dear god what have we done…
Other than that I'm liking this story.
i.qkme.me/35vjvx.jpg
1172049
Can't breath ... laughing to hard
1172642 *rubs fingers together evily* The plan is proceeding as planned...
I don't know why everyone is all panicky over a high Pinkie Pie. If anything, she'd be more mellow and easier to handle.
....
....
...I feel a great disturbance in the Force...
1172658 I wouldn't get too attached, you know what usually happens to red shirts.
1174869 PLAN... PROCEEDING... AS... PLANNED... >:}
(Everything is proceeding according to my designs! The Earth ponies on Luna's moon are walking into a trap, as is your pegasus fleet...)
1170524 Cutie Mark Crusaders Gunsmiths! Yay!
Pinkie's normally huge apatite x weed induced munchies = famine
And that's how Equestria starved to death
1174912 General Derpy! Noooooooo! You will rot in Tartarus for this!
You gave Pinkie weed.
You gave PINKIE weed.
...I've seen it done before.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_bronymaster1.png
Great chapter. Is Keon going to share with the rest of the class?
(Ambassadors)
1176763 *imagines unicorns using their horns as lightsabers*
This is great. The characters are a lot of fun, and you get bonus points for Keon getting high with Pinkie right before an important political dinner.
1169998:Pinkie thought so pinkiehappy:
1170018 I assure you Equestria will remain, intact.
1170033 Thank yah very much, I do like to draw.
1170036 Zoologist colt, sick name.
1170145 He can't always be an asshole, oh I'm glad your having fun with the story.
1170157 Sorry for the wait, hope you liked the chapter.
1170167 I had to do it.
1170221 Who knows? well I do I suppose.
1170262 I told you, I wasn't done with that bag of weed. And Luna and Keon's conversation around that matter was edited. I don't know if you ever checked or not. Oh and I had to get the rest of them ponies out of the room, so they could light up.
1170450 To each their own good sir
1170524 it wouldn't be very human, not to bring some filth along for the ride. As for guns, these guys are just college students, they have no reason to be packing heat. But then again you never know.
1170526 I think you're the first to give me a spike mustache, I feel like i've finally accomplished something. Happy to see you're enjoying the story. Have a dolled up Rarity
1170608 I'll try to make it interesting.
1169998
Wait, Karon? Karon the Trickster? Why don't I remember this?
1182961
That's fair enough, I guess.
I just feel like I'm missing the joke in the situation is all.
1182961 I checked it out right after you made the edit. But yeah, looking forward to more.
1170690 Funny my editor mentioned something similar
1170787 she'll definitely learn some new words, that's for sure.
1170838 Wow thanks!
1170854 damn, son.
1171054 Pinkie already eats, like a bottomless pit as is.
1171251 You have some ideas, I wonder how close they are? Thanks, I'm happy you like the drawings.
1171619 Hey now, I'm working.
1171917 People have told me it's done a lot, but I personally haven't seen one that didn't involve the story being directly about drug use.
1172049 Well let's just say it's magic, that's why she's not dead.
1172092 Thank yah.
1172713 that could be true.
1173427 as do I
1176123 so you figured the story out huh, where's my gun?
1177553 hehe you never know.
1177940 that's for the bonus points
1182998 PInkie got high, there's not really anything to miss, it either is or isn't your type of humor. Some people find it funny to imagine these sweet little ponies, being drunk, high or whatever floats their boat. The thought is just so absurd it's funny, at least to me.
On the flipside some people think it's in bad taste. I can't possibly write to cater to everyone. So things will be hit and miss for some.
1183043 Well one idea I have in mind Involves with Keon and how a certain meeting will happen and the reactian of the other groups.
On the other hand with Chris...a toss up on which way he will head because of the situation at hand. I don't want to say anything because the comments are not for spoilers. I just want to say that you can surprise me or i can be the annoying guy watching a movie and saying "saw that one coming a mile away." I read a lot of stories where things become predictable in my book.
When did he get to Canterlot?
1184535 haha, that's an interesting mistake I made.
Thanks I'll fix it.
1183043 Not until next chapter at least.
1182961
/
Oh you think that... Oh sorry. This is kind of my trademark on the site and appears after all of my comments.
Thank you for telling me that I forgot to give you my mustache thinking on this one
Well done.
Bronydragon