• Member Since 14th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 22nd, 2018

jkbrony


I love writing and MLP. So....I think I'm in the right place.

E

Thanks to Rainbow Dash, winter has arrived early in Ponyville, leaving the Apple family woefully unprepared.

As a long and busy day of harvesting apples draws to a close, Applejack soon finds that a certain somepony has made her barn a home for the winter...

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 15 )

Very sincere, seriously in character and really well done, amazing pacing and detail. I very much enjoyed this and am honored to read it, you done great, I like that the villain is still an enemy, you done great.

"Applejack quickly checked her [apple blooms'] cutie mark and was further relieved to see that it was still there. "
Was this accidental or on purpose?

I did very much like Applejack's character struggling with her own thoughts and inner desires, as that's highly consistent with the show's depiction of her. Very interesting story. The narrative flowed very well between the locations.

This fear first presented itself back during the Changeling invasion of Canterlot,

What about Discord's rampage? Or when the 'not yet CMC' were there when Nightmare Moon appeared?

And yeah, Glimmer sees herself as the only sane pony in the world.

6052048 Discord and Nightmare Moon weren't quite the top-tier threat that Chrysalis was. (Besides, Nightmare Moon showed up before Applejack was an official Element bearer). She was literally planning to make ponies into living food sources for her army, which was a far more frightening intent than what Discord and NM had. And you'd have to imagine that witnessing a pony slowly and completely transform into a terrifying insect-like figure would be a pretty traumatizing thing for a filly. Not to mention watching the very alicorn who is revered as a god utterly fail to stop her. :rainbowderp:

6052589

Actually, it was CHRYSALIS who was below THEM!

Extinction Level Event caused by a jealous little sister?

And the world gone completely mad (like her sister acting like a stranger) would traumatize any foal.

It's stories like this one that really make you feel for the villains. And also wonder exactly what happened to Glimmer to make her so convinced that the only path to true friendship is to eliminate all conflict.

But then, isn't that the crux of the character? That Twilight Sparkle is, in fact, Starlight Glimmer and visa versa?

That the only real difference between them, that the only thing that truly separates them is personal experience?

That all it will take for Twilight to become Starlight is one bad day?

I LOVED this story! :pinkiehappy: It was very serious and really drew me in. I'm a little disappointed that Applejack's hospitality didn't make Starlight begin to question her own beliefs, but that's the way you wanted to write it. I'm glad at least that Starlight promised not to harm AJ's family (and I believe her).

Still, Starlight is only a unicorn, and I think Applejack's stressed-out mind was overestimating the terrible things Starlight was going to do to her. Though Starlight is a very POWERFUL unicorn of course (probably the most powerful after unicorn Twilight and Sunset Shimmer), so I can understand her anxiety, especially where her family is concerned.

This was an altogether excellent read. Have a moustache! :moustache:

I am very glad you did not change her belief's, then again my I am just biased seeing how I share her belief's.


--- Sincerily, Trithtale

You wrote a good story and you did it the hard way. And by that I mean Applejack values her family above all else but must help Starlight as a matter of conscience; Starlight is still an enemy who shows no signs of changing in one night; the conflict in the story is largely felt, not displayed. That's admirable. Congratulations on a job well done.

In Applejack's place, any of the other Mane Six would strongly consider calling their friends over and hauling Starlight off to Canterlot or something. AJ never even thinks of it, and I think that's true to her character as well. AJ believes that what happens in her home is her own business.

6054175 Not "one bad day", but one bad lifetime? Yes, I would agree with you there. Twilight and Starlight are very much alike in some ways.

Great story! I loved this!

Also, I figured I'd ask you because why not and I'd seen it happen a lot, but when some people write longer stories, there seems to be a gigantic blank space underneath. Is that for effect at the end of the story or something?

6245182

No, the blank space is unintentional. I fixed it now.

Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :raritywink:

I couldn't make it past the first section. The writing style is good, but I couldn't believe that AJ would put her family at risk by letting Starlight stay in her barn. And why wouldn't she immediately send word to Twilight and the other M6? I'm sure they'd want to know if Starlight was in Ponyville.

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