• Published 21st Feb 2016
  • 7,884 Views, 182 Comments

Twilight's Twilight - sunnypack



When Twilight from the future keeps visiting Twilight from the past, Twilight realises that future Twilight is kind of a jerk.

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2 - Contingency Plans

Chapter 2: Contingency Plans

Always have a backup, even for yourself.

I made my way back home, sombre, despite the faint afterglow of the Princess’ compliment. On the train, passengers looked on in concern at my frantic writing as I made lists, essays, debates, theories, points, counter-points and all manner of discourse on reasons why I should or should not open the letter my future-self left me. Several times I had almost given up on the whole kerfuffle, opting to stare out of the train to take in the rolling green hills and lush fields that zoomed past. What if my future-self had come from a desperate future and it was critical that I shouldn’t open the letter until Thursday?

How could it be so important that a single letter had to be opened on Thursday and not any other day?

With a sigh, I slumped in my seat looking at my list sullenly as I scanned the pages. It all boiled down to a binary result. It either helped or it wouldn’t to do it now. I wasn’t sure. Should I heed the counsel of my future-self, no matter how casually given? I bit my lip. I trusted myself, right? If I knew me, I knew myself and I would know that I wouldn’t be able to resist a mystery. Especially if it had something to do with something as important as time-travel. Besides, it wasn’t like I ordered myself not to look at it until Thursday, I just suggested not to do it.

All too soon the train stopped. Familiar faces and voices washed over me as I shambled out the carriage and filtered through the crowd.

“Hello, Twilight.”

“Hello, Berry Punch.”

“Good afternoon, Twilight!”

“Afternoon, Mayor Mare.”

“Heya, Twilight!”

I looked up quickly, but I didn’t have enough time to brace myself for the tackling hug that Pinkie gave me. Staggering back, I could only splutter out a response more than a few ponies have said when faced with the pink party pony.

“P-Pinkie!” I spat out a few stray hairs from my mane that inevitably made their way into my mouth. She didn’t seem to mind as she beamed with a grin wide as the horizon.

“Twilight! I’ve been looking around for you. I mean not you you, the other you!”

A faint chill of dread ran down my spine. “W-What?”

Pinkie frowned. “I mean I was at the start, but you disappeared! I mean not you, you you. I mean you disappeared, but you went too!”

I could feel my eyes struggle to focus with the effort my mind was expending on parsing through her sentence.

“Wait. So you’re telling me that you saw me when I left?”

“No!” Pinkie said happily.

I stared at her, my mind whirling.

Pinkie’s disarming smile didn’t falter at my troubled frown. “I didn’t see you, silly! I just had a feeling,” she explained… kind of.

Knowing I shouldn’t ask the question, I asked anyway. “So you can feel when I’m around?”

Pinkie shook her head. “No, no, no! I can feel you, but not you.”

I ran a hoof through my mane. I could feel a few strands free themselves in sympathetic frustration. I patted them down again, but I could feel a few more spring up as I abandoned that course of action.

“Pinkie, before I get more confused, let’s call the other me ‘Future-Twilight’, alright?”

“Sure, Twilight!”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, can you start from the beginning?”

Pinkie grinned toothily whilst nodding. She hopped to the side as I trotted down the path to the library.

“So I was making a rainbow-coloured Gummy-gummy cake,” Pinkie began.

“A what?” I blurted out, though I knew better.

“A Gummy-gummy cake!” Pinkie exclaimed. “A cake for Gummy that’s gummy made of gummy candy in a rainbow colour!”

“For Gummy?”

“Yeppers. So there I was over the lake, surrounded by unstable rocks and a thin bit of wood separating me from the bag of sugar!”

I nodded, then did a double-take. “Wait. W-What? How did that happen? Why a lake? Rocks? Sugar?”

Pinkie blinked at me as if I was the one that had said something incomprehensible.

“Everypony knows that the best candy is rock candy.”

I felt like a parrot. “What?”

“They’re really sweet and colourful and perfect ingredients, but if it weren’t for the giant ants and the swarm of bugbear bees, I probably would have finished it in an hour instead of just then!”

“The bug—” I cut myself off before Pinkie could start another tangent. “Okay, uhh, you’ll have to tell me about that later.”

“Okie dokie lokie!”

I realised through all that we had ended up at the library already. I put my hoof on my handle as I tried to steer the conversation back to the original plan. “Can you tell me about knowing how you know how it’s me—I mean future-me—” I held my head in my hooves “—you know what? Never mind. Can you let me know if you know when future-me is going to come? I think I need a break from all of this.”

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “Sure thing, Twilight!”

“Thanks, Pinkie,” I said, I made to reach for the door, then something else occurred to me. “Hey Pinkie, I’ve got a weird question.”

Pinkie looked up expectantly. “Oh, a question! Will I be able to answer it?”

I blinked at Pinkie. “Uhh, I don’t know.” I took a deep breath. Might as well give it a shot. “What if you left something for yourself and told yourself that you shouldn’t open it. I mean you’re allowed to open it, but you shouldn’t open it?”

Pinkie’s eyebrows drew together as she considered my question. “Uhhhhhhh, is it, like, a present? If it’s a present I think you can open it, because a present is always good! Even if it’s for yourself.”

“What if it’s a letter?”

Pinkie shrugged. “You like reading, don’t’cha?”

I nodded absently. “Yeah, I guess…”

“Then you should totally read it!”

I bit my lip. Alright, maybe asking Pinkie wasn’t the best decision.

Pinkie’s eyes widened as if she just realised something. “Oooh, actually—” I turned around as Pinkie cocked her head. Then she smiled. “Actually, all good! You go on ahead, I have some things to do.” In a hyper-fast dash that was more blur than pony, Pinkie disappeared.

I sighed, shaking my head ruefully. “I’ll never get used to that pony.”

“I agree.”

I turned my head slowly, though I already knew who it was before I even finished the movement.

“Hello,” Future-Twilight said. “I’m back!”

———————

She was there. Just sitting there. Looking at me.

She was also eating my chocolates. A lot of them.

“H-Hey!”

“Oh hey, Twilight! I thought you were crazy when you started saying something about your future-self coming back and sending you secret messages but who knew?!”

I swivelled around to find Spike had been rummaging through another box of my chocolates as well.

“SPIKE!”

“What?”

“How could you eat my premium imported one-of-a-kind emergency stash of chocolates?!”

Spike threw up his claws managing to look both embarrassed and frustrated at the same time.

“You told me I could!” He turned to Future-Twilight. “I told you she’d be mad. I mean you’d be mad!”

Future-Twilight laughed… and continued eating the luxurious Minotaurian chocolates.

“S-Stop it!” I stammered. “That’s— I was saving that!”

Future-Twilight moaned, her eyes filled with the ecstasy of experiencing the most sumptuous, scrumptious, salivating-inducing chocolate in the known lands. I could feel my mouth starting to drool but I ignored it in the heat of my rising ire.

“I-I mean it! Stop it!” I was faintly aware my tone was becoming less commanding and more pleading.

“Oh relax,” Future-Twilight said. “You get to taste this later.”

I was unconvinced, but I asked her anyway. “Really?”

She nodded genially. “You know, because you’re me.”

I blinked at her in incomprehension.

She raised an eyebrow. “You just have to wait a little while.”

Oh right, because that’s my future. Wait…

My eyes narrowed. “How long is a little while?”

Future-Twilight didn’t seem to hear me, she was patting Spike on the head. “Go on, Spike, take the rest of the day off.”

Spike blinked. “What? Just like that?” He glanced at me cautiously.

I bristled for a moment, then I sighed. Well, there were more important things to worry about right now than my assistant’s work ethics. I sagged with a nod. “Go ahead Spike. I want to talk to her. I mean me. I mean myself. I want to talk to myself—” I stopped myself before I confused myself. Dear Celestia.

Spike edged away from us, glancing between us uncertainly. “Uhh, you’ll be alright, won’t you?”

Future-Twilight smiled. “Don’t worry, Spike. Have I ever made you worry?”

Spike opened his mouth, taking a deep breath.

“Actually, don’t answer that,” she said quickly, waving him away with a hoof. “We don’t need to be reminded about that.”

“About what?” I asked sharply.

“Nothing,” the alicorn said a little too quickly than I liked. She patted the cushion next to her. “A little side chat. Now, let’s get down to business.”

I stayed where I was. “What business?”

Future-Twilight—you know what? That’s still a mouthful. I’m just going to say ‘Twilight’. Twilight smiled at my response and gestured to the cushion next to her. I forced myself forward with a jolt. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was in between trying to figure out why she was back so soon and if I just invited myself to sit with myself.

“Don’t think about it too hard,” the alicorn told me. She smoothed over her mane and patted the cushion insistently. “Come, sit with me!”

I crept forward cautiously as Twilight eyed me with patient smile. I couldn’t help it. I stared again. It was so weird. Seeing her was like seeing my future. I looked different. It was hard to put a hoof on it, but there were a lot of details that were both familiar and strange. I still had the same mane-style, I still sat the same way, straight and rigid. I still wore the same eyeliner it seemed.

There were the wings of course, but there were other subtle changes. There was… I don’t know, some of the same character that Celestia or Luna had. She had that wisp of command around her, like I expected her to be surrounded by ponies at any second. There was also this confidence I haven’t seen before. She looked so sure of herself, that I was almost… jealous of. But that was ridiculous. How could I be jealous of myself?

“So,” she drawled, forcing my attention back to her, “you haven’t opened the little message I left behind yet, have you?”

I reflexively made to answer, but I hesitated when a sudden thought occurred to me.

“Wait, wouldn’t you already know? You’re me!”

She smiled back at me with an expression laced with an indiscernible emotion.

“You shouldn’t treat causality so lightly, Twilight,” she said, then gestured with her hoof at the cushion one last time. “Now, aren’t you feeling a little tired from your trip to Canterlot?” She grinned deviously and pushed forward one of the half-opened boxes towards me. “Chocolate?”

“I-I guess.” I couldn’t work up an excuse to remain standing. I sat down on the cushion, feeling weighed down by the weight of a flurry of questions buzzing around my head. This Twilight seemed less spontaneous and more controlled. Maybe she wasn’t as bad as she seemed? I mean as bad as I seemed. Dear Celestia, this is what I would become when I’m a princess?

No, I couldn’t be. Time would have to be static. Deterministic. Without subject to change. Could it be possible that it could change? If not, why was she here? I glanced at her through the corner of my eyes. She seemed unconcerned, confident, even. Would I be like that when I discovered how to time travel? She was waiting for me to take a seat. I suddenly felt like I was the one being rude, despite the fact that she broke in and ate all my chocolates, even though it was me… in my own house… with my own… choc—

“Why is this so confusing?” I muttered. I slumped into the cushion and stared at the remaining chocolates. Macadamias?! My favourite! I glanced at her in surprise. She grinned.

“I thought about saving the best until last, but then I thought it’s good to be young,” she said, pushing them forward once more. “Go on.”

Unable to resist, I popped a couple into my mouth and chewed them. The chocolate melted almost immediately and suffused with the macadamia centre in a glorious mix of sweet chocolate and creamy nuttiness. I was vaguely aware of my ecstatic moans. Finally, I opened my eyes and found her staring at me.

She smiled. “How are they?”

Sneaky pony. I’m still mad at her. I can’t believe I bribed myself with my own chocolate. As soon as I get my hooves on a diary, I am going to remind myself to be nicer to myself.

“The best I’ve ever tasted,” I replied sullenly. “Never happier.”

“Aww don’t be like that. I have something to make it up to you!”

I eyed her warily. “Really? What could possibly make me—”

Then she drew it out. My eyes widened. My breath quickened. My heart stopped beating as my mouth flopped open.

“No way.”

“Yes way,” she said.

“Is that—”

“Uhuh.”

“In the—”

“Uhuh.”

“From the—”

“Exactly.”

“Dear Celestia, how in the world did you manage to lay your hooves on one?!”

Twilight grinned toothily. “Let’s just say there are perks that come with being a Princess. It’s not always a pain in the flank.” She set it on the table. “You can get your hooves on a lot of restricted items.”

“Restricted items—?”

“Anyway, you haven’t answered my question. Did you look in the letter?”

“No,” I whispered absently, eyes still fixed on the legendary piece of literature. “I was going to this afternoon.”

Twilight nodded sagely. “That’s good,” she said, closing her eyes in relief. “So not yet. Thursday. Remember—Wait don’t touch that!”

I froze guiltily my hooves barely touching the cover. Twilight snatched the book away hastily.

“Woah, woah! I never said you could touch it!” The alicorn whisked it away and into her saddlebag with the smooth sweep of her magic.

“What?! What do you mean I can’t touch it?”

“Look but don’t touch,” she said sternly. “I can’t just give away things from the future to my past-self. All sorts of things could happen. Closed time loops information paradoxes, self-generation, the butterfly effect!”

I gasped. Potential disasters I had stifled were now coming to the fore as my mind reeled with the implications.

Twilight pinned me down with a serious look. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

I swallowed audibly. “N-No. W-What? Did I do anything?”

Twilight levelled me with a stare that could cut through steel. Trepidation washed over me in dizzying waves. What did I do? Did touching the book trigger a cascade of catastrophic consequences for space, time and the universe itself?!

Twilight tapped the table with a hoof, snapping me out of the panicked loop I had fallen into.

“Repeat after me,” she instructed. “You…”

“I…”

“Have to…”

“Have to…”

“Learn…”

“Learn…”

“To take a joke.”

“To take a j—That was a joke?!”

Twilight shrugged. “If the universe was really in danger do you think we really have a chance of fixing it?” She chuckled. “No. This isn’t a story. Reality is more flexible than you think.”

“T-That was mean!” I spluttered. “That goes way beyond a joke!”

Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully, as if the thought hadn’t actually occurred to her. “Oh, really? I thought it was actually quite clever. It played on your fears, I let it carry on for suspense, then I sprung the surprise.” She thought about it longer, then her confusion cleared. “Oh wait, that’s horror, not comedy isn’t it?”

Though I wanted to strangle her, I was somewhat mollified by her sincere confusion. It was like she didn’t actually know. Or I will not know. Or maybe she did not know if time was as flexible as she said. These stupid chronological mind-loops were getting on my nerves. Still, her behaviour was unsettling. What in the world happened to me in the future?

Twilight grinned, dismissing her musings with the flick of her ear. “Oh honestly, you’re as stiff as a board! I don’t remember being such a stick in the mud. Hmm, how about later? You can read it then, but first I need you to do a few small things for me.”

I considered the offer, the fires of indignation dampening as I thought of all the wondrous knowledge contained within Star Swirl’s last compendium. It was tempting, but I knew better. Already I had a bit of a feel for this devious future-Twilight. Suspicion reared its sinuous head. “What things?”

Twilight shrugged. “You’ll find out if you agree.”

She knew. Of course she knew. She was me.

“Okay,” I muttered with a sigh. “You knew I would agree anyway.”

Twilight smirked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, we have a big day tomorrow, get some sleep.”

Despite myself, I had to ask. “What’re we going to do?”

Twilight didn’t answer, electing to simply grin instead. I’ve seen that kind of grin before. It was the same type of grin Angel had when Fluttershy left him in charge of the cottage. The same type of grin Chrysalis had when she held Canterlot. The same sort of grin Discord had when I gave up… Suddenly, the book didn’t look so tempting anymore.

Author's Note:

You should bring out the 'what' counter for how many times Twilight says 'what' in this story.

Hint: It's a lot.

Next Chapter: Delicious, delicious things.

As always, my fellowship of readers, thanks for reading!