14 - Sweet Relief
Chapter 14: Sweet Relief
“The Resistance?” The tone was gentle, and her smile encouraging, but somehow it didn’t look like they were alleviating Twilight’s distress.
“Yes, they’re part of a radical faction that supports the Republic.” Twilight winced. “Not that I agree with that statement.”
“They see no need for alicorn leadership?”
“On the contrary, Princess, alicorns have always been a great symbol of unity and prosperity… but they do want to see less of them in governance.”
“I see.” Celestia thought about the implications and smiled. Maybe the stifling control of the other Celestia had bred desire for independence? She had, on multiple occasions, tried to dissolve the monarchy, then the diarchy of Equestria, but her ponies had vehemently opposed the idea. Who would have thought that being an autocratic ruler with a penchant for overbearing control would have solved that problem? The thought pleased her for a moment, before she guiltily suppressed it. It wasn’t a laughing matter now that she was the centre of it all.
“And are you alright?” Celestia intended the statement to show concern, but realised it could be equally insensitive.
Twilight looked indifferent, but Celestia sensed that she feigned a sense of painfully fraudulent casualness that was as transparent as pure ice… and was just as cold.
“Twilight,” Celestia whispered gently, “you can talk to me.”
Twilight’s expression flickered between pain and relief, betraying her inner struggle.
“I…”
“There’s no rush,” Celestia added. “Whenever you’re ready, you can confide in me.”
Twilight took a deep breath, her body settling into a decisive stance.
“I haven’t seen them for a while,” she admitted. “They’re mostly underground now. Although from time to time, when we track down some coded messages, I’m reminded that they live. That they live fighting you, and in extension, me.” She sighed. “I don’t understand why they wouldn’t want to support a lawful Equestria. We’re so much better off under your guidance, Princess. They can’t see that. It hurts that they don’t understand.”
Celestia didn’t know what to say. If she were honest with herself, she liked the idea of a Republic of Equestria. A republic would be where she could simply provide counsel and attend a few ceremonies whilst Equestria basically ran itself. The idea held merit. And the paperwork! She grinned. Much as she was proficient at it, it couldn’t hurt to dismiss them forever. She could be rid of everything. Instinctively, she wanted to make a change, but still… what could she say? Evidently, Twilight believed in this Equestria that the other Celestia built, and she doubted she had the right to pursue it. This was a conundrum that had no easy answer.
She shook her head. Technically, it wasn’t her problem. It was one thing to complete some of the technical paperwork of her other self’s universe in her absence, but another to delve straight into the politics and change them within. It was probably wise to leave as much as she could as is.
“Twilight—” she began.
“Princess!”
“Princess!”
Celestia stopped short, seeing two familiar faces. Well, just before they bowed. It was hard to spot faces when they were mostly pointed to the ground.
“Flitter, Shade, what a pleasant surprise.” Celestia mentally rebuked herself. She probably shouldn’t have made two ponies in charge of the Celestial Guard, if she wanted to maintain things ‘as is’. She only did so when she was caught off-guard, vulnerable after her disorientating arrival. She heaved a mental sigh. What was done was done; the other Celestia could probably resolve the issue in due course.
But what might she change if she was in my universe? Celestia pondered the thought, then dismissed it. She didn’t have any evidence the other Celestia was on her world, though the idea was equal parts disturbing and entertaining. The other Celestia would certainly whip up a storm, but Celestia had faith in Twilight and Luna. They could handle the other Celestia. She hoped.
“How have you two been doing?” Celestia enquired. She knew she was dodging the issue of Twilight, but she didn’t know if she even had the answer.
“Excellent, Princess! Thank you for asking!” They both bowed deeply again. From the way they punctuated every statement with an upwards exclamation, Celestia surmised that it was a sort of military thing. Perhaps to show order and loyalty.
“There’s no need—” Celestia stopped halfway to delivering her suggestion to drop the half-shouting, when the two cringed, looking panicked that she would disapprove of anything they had done. Celestia waved a tired hoof. “Never mind, continue.”
Flitter came forward, markedly less confident than just moments ago, but still projecting a sense of bravado in the face of an imagined adversity. “We were on our way to organising your personal guard and training the new recruits.”
Celestia blinked in surprise. She assumed they were simply headed to bed, or were on patrol. “This late? When are you to sleep?”
Shade cocked his head. “Four hours are sufficient, in addition to the naps between shifts.”
Celestia frowned. “I don’t want guards exhausting themselves at my expense.”
“Of course not, Princess. We’ll be at peak performance, no matter when you need us.”
Celestia froze mid-nod, a sudden thought occurring to her. “I haven’t given you any duties, have I?”
Shade cleared his throat. “We haven’t been given explicit orders, no.”
Celestia cocked her head. “So what have you been doing all this time?”
Flitter grinned proudly. “Practising and training our guards in new skills. We want to be ready for anything, especially as part of your new, elite guard.” She suddenly looked apprehensive, as if the idea for her approval hadn’t crossed her mind. “W-We hope you don’t mind, Princess.”
Celestia smiled, hoping it would reassure them. “Not at all, I appreciate your initiative.” She wondered what they were up to. “I would like… an update of your progress when you’re done.”
“Thank you, Princess.” Again, they both bowed, looking both relieved and disturbed at her warm demeanour. It seemed to have the opposite effect, if anything they appeared more stressed by the minute. Celestia resisted the urge to roll her eyes, how could she convince these two that she would not snap at them? They probably expected her to grill them harder than the Badlands in high summer.
“No need for that,” Celestia added quickly, then clarified when they showed confusion. “Bowing takes your eyes off your surroundings, there’s no need to do it so often.” She cleared her throat, hoping the invented excuse was plausible enough.
Flitter shared a look with Shade as Celestia broke out in cold sweat.
She relaxed slightly as they nodded slowly, then vigorously. “Your advice is most wise, Princess. We will not make the same mistake twice.”
“Well, I wish you the best in your endeavours.”
“Thank you, Princess.” With a deferential bob of their heads, the dismissed pair trotted off at a brisk pace.
“You are very at home here, Princess,” Twilight remarked, after they had left.
She felt there was something more that Twilight wasn’t saying, but she could see nothing in Twilight’s guileless eyes.
“I have been leading for the better part of most of my life,” she replied lightly, continuing down the hallway. “It’s second-nature to me.” She even came close to fooling herself.
————————
After the table had been reassembled, and the paperwork resorted, Celestia shifted the topic.
“I would like to see the Courts.”
“No need to trouble yourself,” Twilight said hastily. Her wings flared for a split second, betraying her rising alarm. After witnessing the display of temper, on top of her other impulsive behaviours, Twilight wanted Celestia as far away from the Courts and the nobles as she could make her. “We’ll manage the Courts just fine.”
Celestia smiled in amusement, but failed to take the hint.
“I only wish to observe, I will not take control of the proceedings.”
Twilight quickly weighed the odds of persuading the belligerent alicorn to stay in one place, and failed to come up with a positive result. She tried, anyway.
“I think it might be best if you stay here.” She could feel her ears flattening against her skull. “It’s somewhat delicate if your policies don’t… match with ours.”
Celestia sighed, then raised an eyebrow. “I will not interfere, merely observe.” Her brow wrinkled slightly. “Though my behaviour so far may not have convinced you otherwise.” Celestia rubbed a hoof along her jaw, deep in thought. “Perhaps an oath, then?”
Twilight knew the word, but the context… “An oath?”
“Yes,” Celestia replied with an annoyed snort. “An oath, a spell-binding promise, would that set your mind at ease?”
“You mean to say that you would bind yourself to a magic promise just for this?” Twilight stared at the alicorn as if her coat was on fire. When Celestia merely met her gaze with placid decisiveness, suspicion in her heart crystallised into reluctant certainty. “Are you insane?!” She clamped a hoof over her mouth. “Sorry, Princess, I didn’t mean—”
Instead of being angry, Celestia looked impressed. “So you do know what a spell-binding oath is.”
Twilight’s reply was irate as it was terse. “I know every spell in the Axial’s Amniomorphic Anthology, but that doesn’t mean I’m crazy enough to use them.” Twilight sighed. “There’s no need to bind yourself with the spell, Princess. If you would like to come, you can come. Just promise me you won’t disrupt the Court.”
Twilight was expecting her to acquiesce immediately, but for some reason, Celestia hesitated. “You would prefer my word over a spell?”
Twilight tilted her head. The question was absurd. “Of course I would. What other pony would insist on the latter?”
Celestia didn’t reply to that, instead clearing her throat. “Well then, Princess Twilight Sparkle, you have my word.”
Twilight nodded and smiled at the monarch, surprisingly receiving a small smile in reply. As she opened the doors to step out, she realised that this was probably the first time that Celestia had referred to her as a princess, and the first time she had smiled genuinely, and she wondered what it meant.
—————————
The night air was brisk, and burned as she drew it into her lungs. Despite the sharp pain on inhaling, Celestia found the act brought a sense of clarity, as if the warmth of the castle had been stifling instead of welcoming.
Trailing behind Celestia, Twilight stood at attention, mute, but looking contented just to be near her.
“Twilight.” Celestia glanced at the eagerly waiting gaze of her former current… her friend. “You don’t have to stand behind me.”
Celestia could see Twilight’s gaze twitch to some invisible pony-shaped space next to her.
“It’s free, you know.”
Twilight looked tempted, but finally shook her head. “Thank you, Princess,” she replied in a broken voice. “It means a lot for you to say that… but only a pony of your equal can stand there.”
Celestia felt a stabbing ache of loneliness, but stifled it under a tolerant smile. She wondered if the other Celestia felt that too. No, from what she heard, she wouldn’t think that self-obsessed mare would care for any but herself. Who would the other Celestia consider to be her equal anyway? She might not be here to answer that question herself, but there was somepony who could.
“Who would you say, Twilight?” Celestia tried to keep her voice steady. “Would be my equal?”
Twilight’s response was immediate.
“None.”
Celestia let out a pained sigh. Of course it was.
“Princess, is something wrong?” Twilight wrung her hooves, looking distraught. “Did I say something wrong?”
Celestia mustered up her composure, suppressing the impulse to lash out at those that deserved it the least.
“No, of course not, Twilight. Would you give me a few moments alone?”
Twilight hesitated, looking as if she wanted to say something, but then decided against it. She bowed deeply, then left her alone in the courtyard.
The sky was painted with hundreds of brilliant points of light. There were a scant few clouds, but it was mostly clear with the moon shining brightly overhead. She always found it painful to look at the moon, it always reminded her of her worst mistake. Here though, the moon wasn’t hers or even Luna’s, it belonged to a mysterious land that was similar, but different. She knew it rationally, she knew it logically, but the moon still evoked a deep poignant feeling of sadness that had barely faded with time.
—————————
After leaving the Princess, Twilight roamed the hallways, feeling lost among corridors and passages she’d known almost all her life. At this time, Twilight would normally be checking figures, cross-referencing sources and preparing for the next day. But the Princess had already done so, with astounding speed and accuracy. The next week—never mind the next day—had been filed, sorted, ordered, assessed and ruled. Twilight found it both impressive and flabbergasting.
The one thing she had prided herself on, her administrative mind, had been crushed thoroughly by the Princess. For a moment she missed—
No! She liked the new Princess. She was kind, strong and thoughtful. She was considerate, understanding and compassionate. She was…
Not real.
The treacherous thought had implanted itself in the back of her mind, worming its way to the fore insidiously. Frantically, she smothered it, as one would a spark before it triggered an uncontrollable inferno. The unicorn had difficulty processing her thoughts, they seemed to scatter as soon as she tried to marshall them.
“Twilight, a pleasant surprise.” Receiving reservation instead of response, Luna peered more closely at her. “Something is consuming your thoughts, is it not?”
“Luna, do you like the Princess as she is now?”
At the blunt question, Luna was taken aback. “I-I suppose so.” She glanced around. “B-But of course I would prefer my sister as she was before. Proud, strong and unyielding!”
Though Luna had declared the last sentence emphatically, she had an undertone of meek hesitancy that was at odds with her ardent proclamation.
Twilight bit her lip. “R-Right, of course.”
Within each other, they sensed a turbulent internal struggle, coming to grips with a sister, a leader, a mentor that had changed so drastically. Twilight paused for a few moments, waiting to see if Luna would add anything. The silence stretched on for so long that it was beginning to become painful.
“Well, I have the hallways to patrol…”
“And I should see to next… month’s work.”
As they parted, Twilight couldn’t help but feel she should have said more.
—————————
Twilight held Court in a business-like fashion.
“Next is the minor dispute over the licensing rights to…”
A snore filled the chambers.
“The licensing rights to—” Twilight coughed quietly. Celestia continued to snore.
Twilight cleared her throat impatiently, nudging the alicorn gently once more.
“Princess Celestia…”
The embarrassing snorts and lolling tongue did not really do much for her image.
“Princess!” Twilight whacked the sleeping princess on the horn.
“Wh-What?! To battle!” Celestia sat bolt upright, her horn flaring in preparation to cast a spell to level a castle.
Twilight recognised the distinctive glow and felt her eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. Instinctively, she cast a spell that would interrupt Celestia’s before it had a chance to go off.
Fortunately it worked. Unfortunately it worked.
The whining spell’s gathered energy dissipated itself in the air around Celestia, resulting in a minor explosion.
Boom.
“Unff—Have at thee, rascal! I shall tear you apart with—” Celestia blinked at her audience of shocked nobles, officials and various Court staff and servants. She straightened slightly, clearing her throat in the awkward silence that followed.
“Yes, well, do continue,” she said as if nothing had happened.
Twilight was beyond furious, her expression looking more at home on a teacher than a student, as Celestia was used to. “Princess, with all due respect, please leave.”
Celestia made to argue, but seeing the seething glare on Twilight, Celestia could only nod in dim shock. Eyeing the Court staff and nobles, and looking for once a little shame-faced, she left the room. As she plodded along towards the door, she tried her best to rein in her anger, though it was more at herself than anypony else. How unlike her to disgrace herself like this. She was mortified beyond belief. That said, she couldn’t help but admire the authority with which Twilight had delivered her order. Perhaps if she had cultivated such an attribute in her own…
In the adjunct room, Luna grinned at Discord while he threw up his claw and paw, with a disgusted look.
“What is going on here?” Celestia demanded. She glared at each of them in turn, making sure that she was brook no levity in their response.
“Sis—Princess Celestia, we hath—had been discussing what the… results of your presence during Court.” Despite it being well past her supposed time for retirement, Luna looked energised. She gave her a radiant smile. “We had a small wager.”
Celestia gritted her teeth. “On what, if I may ask?”
Ignoring her rising ire, Discord continued for Luna. “On when you’d call it quits.” When she merely stared at him, Discord rolled his eyes and added, “On how soon you’d leave the Courts.”
Luna grinned at the draconequus, raising an eyebrow. “And what, pray tell, was your wager?”
“That she would not last five minutes,” Discord mumbled, looking increasingly maddened.
Luna laughed, looking at Celestia proudly. “And th—you had lasted much longer than that!”
“She was sleeping!”
“Sleeping counts, thou—you should have been more careful before placing the wager.”
Discord shook his head. “Alright, alright, have it. Take your earnings.” He snapped his claw, summoning a strangely glowing sapphire gem. Luna took the gem and tucked it away, grinning at Discord.
“You were having levity at my expense?” Rather than angry, Celestia was intrigued, the notion that these two would dare risk antagonising her was an idea that warranted consideration.
Luna shrugged. “It was a bit of harmless fun.”
“Did you not contemplate the fact that I may take offence to that?”
“’Tis only a jest, Princess Celestia. No harm is meant by it.”
Discord stretched languidly and yawned. “Even the other Celestia could take a couple of jokes.”
“Jokes? I do not understand the concept of somepony enjoying the experience of being made the expense of.”
Discord mumbled something, but evidently decided it would be too much of a pain to explain, and disappeared in a flash.
“That is an annoying habit,” Celestia remarked. “He simply comes and goes as he wills?”
“Yes, sis—Princess Celestia, our Discord may lack manners, but he is reformed, he wouldn’t intentionally try and cause harm…” Luna frowned. “At least I don’t think so…”
“Then perhaps you should allow me to return him to stone, I’m sure—”
“No, no, no,” Luna said quickly. “That’s quite alright, Princess. No need for that. How about you retire for the night? I will keep guard in your dreams.”
“That is your duty here?” Celestia looked surprised.
“My duty?”
Celestia shrugged. “To keep guard over dreams. I thought I was the only one who did that.”
“Sis—Princess Celestia, you may not have recalled, but I have had that duty before…”
“Before what?”
Luna swallowed. “Nightmare Moon.”
“Oh,” Princess Celestia shook her head. “Then perhaps it is yet another difference between the two worlds.”
Luna cocked her head at Princess Celestia. “If I may ask a question…?”
“You may.”
“Why is it that you seem more subdued today?”
Celestia didn’t answer immediately, her eyes wandering the walls before she returned Luna’s look. “It is complicated, Luna. This land… it seems so peaceful, so less rigid than my world. My responsibilities are minimal. I feel… at ease here.” A momentary flash of anger surfaced. “I feel weak!”
“Not at all,” Luna whispered. “I feel as if you’ve traded your physical strength for something more.”
“Falsehoods! You are saying I am diminished in strength?” Celestia rounded on the alicorn, forcing her to step back. “And what does that mean?!”
Luna, this time, did not back down. “It means what it means, Princess. I merely speak the truth. Will you not be charitable and learn from your temporary stay here?”
Celestia searched Luna’s counterpart for deception, but could not find a shred of artifice in those clear, blue eyes. Troubled, Celestia turned away, wondering how mere copies of her world could find such strength in such weak convictions.
“I see.”
But she didn’t.
————————
Celestia was aware of another presence in the gardens.
“Come out, no need to hide yourself. I know you are there, watching.”
A familiar, yet repulsive shape loomed out of the darkness.
“It’s me, Benny.”
Celestia stared at the human. He looked apprehensive, as if he expected a scolding the likes of which he feared to imagine. Or so she thought, he could simply be masquerading the emotions, to lull her into a false sense of security. She felt as if this human was a cauldron of treachery, why else would he do all that he did?
“No answer, huh? I guess I deserve that.” He paused as if expecting a reply, but when she denied him a response, he moved on, as if speed could fill in the painful chasm between them. “It’s come to my attention that I’ve made a grave mistake.”
Celestia continued to stare at him, letting her impassive expression do all the talking.
He swallowed audibly before continuing. “I know I’ve said some things I’ve deeply regretted, but I’m happy to tell you that I’m working on a solution. You just have to give me a week.” He flinched, raiding his hands. When she did nothing, he lowered his arms.
“What? Say something. Please.”
Celestia tilted her head slightly, her look of indifference shifting to that of a disappointed frown.
“Look, I’ll get you back, I promise. Just trust me, please.”
Celestia continued to stare at him. He threw up his hands.
“Talk to me! Say you understand! Say that you hate me! Say that you want it all to be over! Say that you forgive me or condemn me! What do you want from me?!”
The courtyard rang with his words, fading into the bitter silence of the night. Celestia sighed, shaking her head.
“All I want is an apology from you, but you failed to even give that.”
“What?”
Celestia glanced upwards to the sky. “You’re so desperate for a reaction from me, what does that tell you?”
“That I care?”
Celestia pinned him to the spot with a glare so intense he almost forgot to breathe. A hand moved to his chest. “It means you don’t even consider me as something worth apologising to. I’m a toy, a pet, something to poke around and play with.” Her eyes welled with disgusted pity. “You must be so broken.”
Silence reigned between them.
Then her eyes hardened, stabbing straight through the thin veneer of his casual demeanour, and piercing through to his heart. “But do not expect forgiveness like it can bought and sold with mere words. You just want to assuage your own guilt by banishing my part in it. I will not be a crutch for your self-esteem. If you truly want to make amends you would have approached me when you had a solution, not promises.”
Celestia straightened, with great authority, she glared down at the pitiful human. A creature she had once been taken in, had once admired his mystique, was corrupted to the core.
“I would very much like to go back to my own world. Until you can make it happen, do not see me again.”
The sentence had a frightening finality to it. Benny could not help but acknowledge that the decree Celestia had made was not an order, but a judgement. He would not escape unscathed if he played with her life so casually again. Reluctantly she could see, he nodded, but a disturbing smile graced his lips. He disappeared, fading away into the night. Though she had made her position clear, she had no doubt she would see that human again.
At the thought, anger flared in her heart.
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Interesting to see how both tyranlestia & meek LuLight are in a state of transition for being exposed to another reality... And how Celly & Princess Twilight are too. Oh, and nice seeing this updated again, I rather like this story
You are a good writer (just good, not great) so have a like.
ITS ALIVE!
Another excellent chapter, eh?:D
Benny is overjoyed internally to have found a companion that is willing to consciously see him as he truly is; a broken man who treats others as he desires them to treat himself.
It is so wearying to pretend to be whole, to put up a facade of wisdom and false empathy for all those who are unable to conceptualize, or fearfully unwilling to accept, that such a broken being can exist in the same reality.
Wait... I guess the story is about two Celestia learning something the other lacks?
A new chapter?? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! O.O
This is interesting, and it looks like you're going for both Celestias learning a bit of the other's style. But it seems like it's going to be very one-sided. Like, awful ragelord Celestia is going to get some character development while Canon Celestia cleans up her mess at home.
I mean, Canon Celestia never really lacked that kind of forcefulness when she needed it. She's likely such a moderate and diplomatic ruler in large part because she's had to vanquish so many threats herself in Equestria's infancy. You're even insinuating she nuked the Badlands herself. Even alternate Twilight and Luna are realizing that they got an unambiguously better model, and the only reason they've taken so long to humor the idea that there's been a switch at all is because they're so terrified of their own fantastically abusive Celestia losing her horseapples on them for...whatever excuse she could think of to do it, I guess.
Good on Princess Twilight telling her off. I'm honestly hoping it comes to blows, just to show her those wings aren't clip-ons and sometimes friendship comes with lasers.
Glad to see this story back in action, however brief it may be.
IMA BACK. And with an incentive to keep poking!!
I found it ironic that you told us to starve given the title of the story. You will be forgiven when my pokes result in the next update. 
7485025
You can keep poking him, I'm just glad that things were finally explained to a degree that helps show whats going on.
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It is kind of a laughing matter. Yes, being bad at your job tends to make people want to get rid of you. Surprising, I know, but true.
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rawr~
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