The Letter (Primus)
The early morning sun shone into the windows of the library, where Twilight Sparkle had already begun her work for the day. Spike, on the other hoof, was still fast asleep in his small basket next to Twilight’s bed.
There was much work to be done; many books were recently returned and needed to be reshelved. A large pile of books from Twilight’s research also laid in the middle of the floor. Usually it was Spike’s job to reshelve those.
“Spike! Time to wake up! There are tons of books that I need your help reshelving,” Twilight shouted up the stairs.
“Ugh, come on Twilight... it’s so early!” Spike moaned.
“You always wake up this early!” said Twilight as she trotted over towards the kitchen to make breakfast for herself.
By now, Spike had exited Twilight’s room and stood at the top of the stairs. “Oh, right.”
Spike, still in a sleepy daze, slowly stumbled down the stairs.
“I’ll get started... on that... right away.”
Later that day, Twilight was sitting at her desk next to the window in her bedroom. She was deep in her research, and Spike was on the home stretch of rearranging the many stacks of books that littered the floor of the library.
The young dragon took a moment to wipe the sweat from his brow. "Twilight, do you have to read so many books at once, or could you give a dragon a break for once?" He went back to placing the books onto the shelves without waiting for the unicorn's response.
"Oh, Spike. You know I have to keep my mind sharp. You never know when what you read in a book could come in handy." The unicorn's horn began to glow as she used magic to turn the page of the tome that sat in front of her.
Spike muttered to himself while re-shelving a particularly large book on the principles of rainbow magic. Twilight couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but she was sure it was something akin to “Stupid books, who needs ‘em?” She giggled quietly at her assistant's banter.
The sun was starting to set, inducing a smile on Twilight’s face, as it marked her favorite time of the day. In fact, she was named for it: twilight, the time when both night and day are present. She had loved to watch the sunset ever since she was a little filly.
Spike climbed up one of the many ladders that rested against the numerous bookshelves in the library. He had a stack of three books balanced on one of his claws when he suddenly felt a message coming from Canterlot.
"No, not now!" he cried out.
Spike quickly tried to make his way down the ladder before it was too late, but he only made it halfway. The young dragon let out a cough that sent him, and the books on his claw, crashing to the floor.
"Aw man..." There was another cough which was quickly followed by a belch and, in a puff of smoke, a rather large scroll appeared in the air above Spike.
"Oh, a message from the princess!" Twilight let out an excited gasp. She trotted over to Spike and paid him no mind as she levitated the scroll in front of her.
The unicorn raised an eyebrow as she examined the scroll. It was larger than any of the others the princess had sent before. In addition to its size, it was marked with two seals: one depicted the sun, the other, a crescent moon. The parchment itself was decorated with gold leaf around the edges, "Wow, this seems important. Not that any message sent by Princess Celestia is ever unimportant." Twilight was unsure why she felt the need to explain that.
Spike stood up and rubbed his lower back with one of his claws, "What does it say, Twilight?"
There was a pit in Twilight's stomach as she looked at the rolled up scroll. "I don't know... I'm nervous to open it."
The dragon's tail bounced as he walked over to his friend, "Well, it can't say anything bad. I mean, you haven't done something to make the princess mad... Have you?"
Twilight’s head tilted upward as she thought. "No, I don't think so..."
Spike looked at Twilight and shrugged. "Then open it."
Twilight's dark mane bounced when she nodded her head. "You're right, Spike."
The purple glow around the scroll increased in brightness as Twilight unraveled it with magic. She moved it closer to her face and read it aloud.
"To our dearest subject, Twilight Sparkle. We hope this letter finds you well. You are summoned to the royal court at sunset in three days. A chariot will arrive to escort you just before sunset. Sincerely, Princesses Celestia and Luna, Rulers of Equestria."
A whistle rang forth from Spike's mouth. "Wow, this seems like a big deal. That's a pretty fancy scroll for just a summons."
Twilight re-read the letter, wondering if she missed something. It was odd for the princess to send her such a short message, and even more strange for Princess Luna to send her one. Not much had been heard from her since the NightMare Moon incident, other than her visit to Ponyville on Nightmare Night.
Whatever was going on, Twilight was sure it was important.
"I'm sure I’m overreacting. We've been here for almost a year; maybe they want me to report on what I've learned in person?" She looked at Spike, hoping he would reassure her, but the little dragon only shrugged.
Twilight rolled the scroll back up and laid it on her desk next to the book she was reading. "Well no sense in worrying about it for now, right?" She went back to her studies, but the unicorn found it hard to keep her eyes from wandering to the scroll every now and then.
For five minutes Twilight tried to study before she let out a sigh and opened the scroll again. "Maybe if I read it one more time..."
Spiked placed a claw over his face and let out a sigh. "Oh, Twilight."
It had been three days since the letter from the princesses had first arrived, and now Twilight was waiting for the chariot to come and take her to Canterlot. She had spent the last few hours of the day making sure that her mane and coat shimmered.
"I don't know what you're so worried about, Twilight. You need to calm down." The young dragon placed a claw on the unicorn's right foreleg to comfort her.
"You're right, Spike. I just need to relax," said Twilight with a grateful smile.
She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to relax. It was working until she heard the signature sound of two sets of hoofs and a cloud chariot touching down just outside the library. She nearly jumped out of her skin and immediately the tightness she had felt in her chest returned with a vengeance.
"Calm down! You got this. Remember, you're her favorite student. Now get going, you don't want to keep the princesses waiting."
Spike slapped his claw against her flank. Instead of causing her to get moving like he had planned, the action earned the dragon a death glare that was only slightly less scary than Fluttershy's infamous ‘stare’. The baby dragon quickly pulled his claw back and nervously twiddled his thumbs. “Sorry...” he said with a nervous chuckle.
The purple unicorn took another deep breath, "Alright, I can do this. Spike, if I don't return by tonight, Rarity said you could sleep over at her house if you like."
A massive grin covered Spike’s face. "Alright. Take your time Twilight, you don't want to rush these things. Whatever this thing is..."
Seeing her friend and assistant so excited helped Twilight relax.
"Wish me luck!”
In front of the old tree that housed the library, there was a chariot with two white pegasus stallions. They each wore ornate gold armor that covered most of their bodies, including their cutie marks.
"Good afternoon, Miss Twilight Sparkle. Are you ready for your trip to Canterlot?" the pony closest to her asked in a deep voice.
Twilight nodded and cantered over to the chariot. She took a moment to take in the regal-looking cart, noticing It was decorated with gold and silver sun and moon crests. The moon crest had once again been adopted as a royal symbol since Princess Luna had returned to the throne. Twilight smiled when she remembered how happy Princess Celestia had been when her sister was freed from the darkness that had gripped her heart for a millennium.
Her mane shifted back and forth as she shook her head to clear her mind and get back onto the matter at hoof. She climbed into the chariot, and once she was safely on board the two stallions began to gallop to gather speed before taking off.
Equestria looked breathtaking in the late afternoon light as the sun completed its journey through the sky. The bright light that bathed the land was slowly fading to orange, and the ponies below, which looked like little more than ants from up high, were beginning their evening rituals.
With the two strong pegasi pulling the sky chariot, it was not a long flight to Canterlot. The carriage touched down in the main garden outside of the royal palace just before the sun had completely set. Twilight took in the sight of her former home, and her mind wandered back to the long afternoons she had spent reading in this very garden. Many unicorns and pegasi were moving about and enjoying the flora. Not many earth ponies lived Canterlot; it wasn't that they weren't welcome in the capital, they were just a hard working-class folk who didn’t exactly appreciate the glamour of a large city.
Twilight withdrew herself from the chariot and thanked stallions that had brought her here.
"Thank you both for your time."
The one who once again found himself closest to Twilight responded, "Not at all, Miss."
Twilight blushed lightly at being called “Miss” again. It had been a while since anypony called her that. The two pegasi took off again; no doubt they still had much work to do before the day was over. Once they were out of sight, Twilight found that the pit in her stomach had formed again. She gazed upon the large, ornate doors that lead to the main court of the two alicorn rulers of Equestria.
She slowly made her way to the threshold and the tightness took a hold of her chest once again. 'Come on Twilight... It's nothing, just calm down....' Twilight found talking to herself did her little good. When she arrived at the gateway, it opened of its own accord. The two pegasi guards that stood on either side, who looked almost identical to all of the other guards, announced her entrance in unison: "Presenting Miss Twilight Sparkle, favored student of Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia, savior to Her Royal Majesty Princess Luna, and wielder of the Element of Magic."
The unicorn's cheeks grew red at the introduction. "Well, that doesn't sound like the way they would welcome someone who is in trouble to the court...," Twilight let out a small sigh of relief.
As the large door's closed quickly but silently, Twilight took in the sight of the court. Adorning the wall were large banners marked with both the sun crest and the crescent moon crest. Other than that, the room was rather empty. At the end of the hall, Twilight could see the princesses sitting on their thrones. Both of their horns were glowing as they simultaneously set the sun and began to raise the moon.
The young pony looked on in awe. Even in all of her time spent with the Princess, she had never actually seen the process of controlling the sun and moon. In fact, as she looked around the room, she noticed only the princesses and herself were present. 'Am I the first pony to see this?' she wondered to herself as she silently watched the ritual. Both of the princesses sat with their eyes closed, deep in concentration.
Once both of the celestial bodies had been set on their paths, the princesses opened their eyes. Twilight felt slightly sheepish as both of their gazes fell on her. However, most of the tension she felt quickly melted away when they both smiled at her.
"Twilight, my dearest student, why are you standing so far away? Please come closer." Celestia's gentle voice filled the hall as she beckoned the unicorn to her.
In response, she quickly rushed so that she was standing before the twin thrones, one white and lined with gold, the other black and lined with silver. She knelt on her forelegs and bowed her head to the Princesses. "Your Majesties, it is an honor to be here."
"Rise, dear friend." Luna's voice held a timid tone to it, but still commanded as much respect as her sister's.
As Twilight stood once again she blushed at being called a friend by the princess of the night. She nervously avoided eye contact with both of her alicorn rulers.
"I can tell you are unsure of why you have been summoned. To enlighten you, the three of us must take a walk to a long forgotten part of the castle." Celestia rose from her seat as she spoke. She was quickly followed by her sister.
They both began to walk towards one of the many exits of the royal court. "Please follow us, Twilight," said Luna.
As she cantered behind the royal sisters, Twilight's mind began to race. What could be going on? First they summon me here, and now they take me to a secret part of the castle? Also, they call me here at a specific time which just so happens to be when they are changing the sky a ritual that, to my knowledge, I'm the only pony other then the princesses themselves to witness. Something is going on. This is no simple visit.
The corridors of the castle seemed a lot more empty than they should have been. The stone walls echoed the sounds of all three sets of hoofs colliding with the floor. The relative silence caused Twilight's anxiety to return.
The princess of the sun sensed the anxiety coming from her student and decided she would try to lighten the mood up. "You know, Twilight, I do enjoy your reports on friendship. They have shown me that you are learning even faster than I ever imagined you would."
Twilight relaxed a little. "Thank you. I'm glad I haven’t disappointed you."
The princess shook her majestic head. "You could never disappoint me, my student." She turned her head back and smiled as she maintained her stride alongside Luna.
After a long walk down progressively more and more dusty corridors, the three of them arrived at a large set of doors. They were decorated with beautiful carvings of alicorns of all different colors. On the left door, a large golden sun caught the eye. In the same spot on the right, a silver moon was present.
"Stand back. It has been a long time since this door has been opened." Luna's warning was spoken softly.
Twilight did as she was told and stepped back a few steps. She watched as the princesses nodded to each other and their horns began to glow. In response, the sun and the moon on the doors started to shine brightly. A loud creaking noise came from the door, and the sun and the moon slowly began to turn in opposite directions. The sound of a long-forgotten locking mechanism could be heard shuddering to life for the first time in over a thousand years. With one last thud, the doors slowly began to open, and a large plume of dust rushed out into the hall where the three stood.
Everpony erupted into a coughing fit. In between coughs, Luna managed to speak. "We... should have... remembered it would do that." Finally, the coughing stopped as the air cleared. With clean air once again entering their lungs, Twilight and the Princesses proceeded into the expanse of the room.
Once they were all inside, the door quickly slammed behind them and could be heard locking again, which made Twilight quite nervous. However, when she gazed around the room, she found it absolutely breathtaking. It was a grand hall, much larger and more beautiful than the main hall she knew in the castle. The floor was covered in a long red luxurious rug, made from silk of the finest quality.
But what truly caught her attention were the statues that took up the majority of the floor space. There were at least a dozen of them, each a statue of an alicorn as big as Celestia, if not bigger. The next things to catch Twilight's eye were the paintings behind the statues. They depicted all three races of ponies, each looking similar to the alicorn statue in front of them.
"What is this place?" Twilight’s mind was swarming with ideas. To her knowledge, the princesses were the only alicorns in all of Equestria. The other portraits in this room seemed to contradict that.
"Be patient, my dear. The time for answers is near." Celestia comforted her while they walked towards the end of the ornate statue room.
The paintings seemed to get newer and newer the closer they got to the end of the long hall.
"The room you are standing in is the Hall of Rulers Past. Very few are allowed here, Twilight Sparkle." Luna spoke as they reached the end of the hall.
What Twilight saw next made her gasp. Two statues directly in front of her stood side by side. One was of Celestia, the other of Luna. But what was truly shocking was the painting that hung behind it. A white unicorn with a prismatic mane and tail was smiling with a pegasus hovering just above her.
"Is... Is that you?" Twilight stammered as she tried to cope with the implications of what she was seeing.
The princesses looked to each other and nodded before turning to the shocked unicorn, whose mouth was ajar.
"Yes it is, my dearest student. That is from a time long past, before we were given the power over the sun and the moon." Celestia's words echoed throughout the ancient hall.
"W...why are you showing me this?" Twilight stammered as she tried to figure out what was going on.
"The time for that answer is not now. But soon, My faithful student. Do not worry. First we must tell you a tale of how one is chosen to rule Equestria. And even more important, we must reveal the truth of your lineage to you."
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Woot, it's here! Epic win.
I don't remember what this tory was about in the first place... /sigh. Now i get to read it again
goodness and i almost forgot about this one o dear me it was a wonderful chapter anyway cheers cant wait for the next one
just a suggestion maybe you want to delete your past chapters just for logistic purposes?
898391 Yeah, probably. I forgot to do that lol.
Since you're simply rewriting it, why not remove the earlier chapters to avoid confusion? Either way, I'm extremely excited for the return of this story!
I do have one suggestion, though:
"Presenting Miss Twilight Sparkle, favored student of Her Royal Majesty, Princess Celestia, as well as savior to Her Royal Majesty, Princess Luna. She is also the wielder of the Element of Harmony, Magic."
This portion reads just fine and feels like a presentation should. However, the last sentence (She is also the wielder of the Element of Harmony, Magic.) feels really odd and out of place. Perhaps something along these lines would read more cohesively:
"Presenting Miss Twilight Sparkle, favored student of Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia, savior to Her Royal Majesty Princess Luna, and wielder of the Element of Magic."
898429 That is awesome, thanks! Also yeah, I did remove the other chapters.
> Rulers of all Equestria
Needs an "of" before Equestria or remove the all.
Other than that, the grammar is looking pretty spiffy.
Not much to say about it.
I don't mind the rewrite that's fosho.
Take your time and lets see where this goes.
Gonna call it now, it's a "Twilight is Celestia's daughter" fic isn't it?
898537 ehh... sort of... lol you'll see.
Hey, just a suggestion, I just started reading this from the non-rewritten first chapter and then every chapter dissapeared and now of corse I know that you are re-writing the whole story instead of just that one chapter but you said that your taking it a whole different direction so is it possible if you could put up another story with the old chapters?
Other than that this chapter was deffinatly better being rewritten. (No Offense) And I will deffinatly be reading more and tracking this.
898557 No offense taken, I know the old story sucked. I honestly would recommend not reading it, since especially towards the end it just got really bad... I don't know what I was thinking. But I can still try to put the old story up as a different story, but I'm not sure it will pass moderation since it's kind of the same story with the same title.
Update is a great improvement, have a
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG0MGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGITSFINALLYHEROMGOMGOMG
898567
Oh wow I hate when that happens to my writing. When everything takes a spiral into the 'who would want to read this! What was I thinking!' zone. Or when you go back and read your old work and think, "How in the world did I possibly think this was good!" Any way if I doesn't pass the moderation then I don't really care but it would be interesting to compare it to this story.
Please write another chapter soon. The suspense is killing me.
The grammar has been cleaned up nicely from the original. Good to see.
And taking things in a different direction, eh? Well, that will change things up... hopefully.
I look forward to more with bated breath.
I was reading, and when I hit next chapter, BLAM! Whiteness. Talk about timing.
I'm puttin this on mail-track-fav
"Be patient, my dear. The time for answers is near." Celestia comforted her while they walked towards the end of the ornate statue room.
did u realize u made celestia rhyme here? also thank u for bringing this back and telling me when i got on the site
A suggestion: "Not that any message sent by Princess Celestia is ever unimportant." Twilight was unsure why she felt the need to explain that." If you find your characters noticing odd things like that, it's a sign that something's wrong with the writing. So in this case I would cut both sentences, since your own imagination tells you it's out of character.
Two factual things I noticed were that the story ignores the third known alicorn (Cadence), probably a holdover from your original draft since Cadence came out of nowhere in the second-season finale; and that the sun-raising ritual isn't all that secret. Celestia's been seen raising the sun in public before and was presumably going to do it in the first episode if she hadn't been pre-empted. Both are easily fixed.
Heh. My own pet theory is that Celestia is actually a merged combination of six friends from a thousand-odd years ago.
The story again begin. I hope you would parerer nicely. Allways keep up and don't hurry up for our case. Quvalety vs quantety as they say.
MORE GOD DAMMIT MORE
They're going to make Twilight an Alicorn!
899214
Candece is a winged unicorn, not an alicorn. Yes there is a difference.
Not bad. Nothing much happening yet, but your characterization is pretty good. Didn't read the original, but it's always interesting to see where writers take their rewrites.
Huh, no matter what i do, i cant get this our of my recent updates
898980
Maybe Zecora paid a visit or two?
918416
919852
Thought you'd like that.
978377 Yeah the way things are right now, I should never promise anything. Unfortunately I am extremely busy with other non-pony related stuff, so I'm forced to work at a snails pace. I'll definitely have chapter two up in less than ten weeks, I can promise you that
This is admittedly rather intriguing. I never saw the original trainwreck... so I have no basis of comparison. But it seems to me that it's far easier to begin a story than to finish it. Especially if you don't know what end you're planning from the beginning. I figure you have to structure events so that they lead to the climax, and thence to the conclusion, no? Otherwise you're just bumbling on with no direction, and while that might work for some, it's a difficult path to take.
Still, sort of looking forward to where this goes from here.
you should finish this i really want to read more its driving me crazy!!
Wow I was all like I'm going to read this story and then review it, and now after finishing reading it here I am reviewing it I'm even telling you that "I like where this story is going so far" just like I thought I would say. Dude nopony freak out or anything, but I think I'm psychic.
Didn't this just have 2 more chapters a few seconds ago? oO Am I going insane or what kind of witchcraft is at work here?
This could be interesting, I will be watching
Dude, this story sucks so much. Why don't you go write something worth our time?
(Expecting hate comments from loyal fanboys/girls. Sorry, dude. I had to.)
1305969 Cuz ur mom sux lolzlsldg e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/trollface.png
Did you actually not like it?
1305988 I actually haven't read it yet. I hardly do any reading on here anymore. I still haven't finished Applejack Takes a Math Test!
I will read it eventually though!
1306009 Fuck you, read my shit! Or I'll mow your front lawn...
1306019 Oh noes! Please don't do my chores! Us Amish love our chores! That's why we don't have video games or inter... Shit.
1306037 Living in an Amish paradise..............................
Indiana Jones, the complete adventure! Own it on Blue Ray today!
This looks interesting, I'll fave this for now.
1306045 Do you actually like parody songs? I thought you were an old geezer who liked old ass music?
1306073 Geezer? Isn't that like a term people use in the U.K.? lol. Some weird Al songs are fine. And old music is great. Your grandmother has an old-ass.
Call J.G. Wentworth! 877-CASH-NOW!
877-CASH-NOW MOTHER FUCKER!
CALL OR I... have a tea party.
Interesting first chapter, I didn't read the original version, so I'll take your word that it wasn't up to your standards. I'm going to hold back judgment until I see a few more chapters, but so far, so good.
Rant:
That said, what do you mean no other pony had seen the princess move the sun? The "reason" for Twilight and Celestia to be in Ponyville in the first episode was so Celestia could raise the sun. I'd find it hard to believe she'd never lowered it or raised/lowered the moon in front of anyone else. Now I suppose no one may have seen Luna do it in recent times but still...
Rant Over
Looking forward to the next chapter.
1306198 Yeah... idk, just try to disregard that as much as you can for now. I'll try my best to explain that later...
The original fic was featured all the way back in May, but I ended up rushing it with little thought or planning ,and eventually in the later chapters it pretty much crashed and burned
.
Dammit, I saw this suddenly on the popular stories list again and thought it updated.
A few things I noticed while reading.
1. You captured Twilight's and Spike's back and forth dialogue very nicely, well done
2. Get into the habit of putting a character's thoughts in italics, it's easier to the reader.
3.
"Ahem" cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pcwhat.png
All in all it has certainly grabbed my attention
Will there be more? //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_gasp.png