Shackled by her circumstances yet chained to her past, Applejack finds herself a permanent outsider amongst the aloof socialites of Manehattan.
For many years she had thought her future inalterable - until an accidental encounter twists her fate in an unexpected direction.
Set in an alternate timeline in which Applejack didn't return to Ponyville.
Constructive criticism and advice welcome! Tags may be added as story is updated.
Special thanks to sunnypack for editing, and EclipterROME, Regina Wright, Dusk and Moonblast, Dainty Blaze, Sky Breeze, LostThoughts, ScribeScribbles and Scout Charger for pre-reading.
Chapters (2)
Good start. Description is there and you don't focus solely on it. A little fast paced. Good amount of inner turmoil. The ending declaring of both AJ and RD caught my eye as it should so great use of paragraph structure. My only niche is the use of rue near the end. It feels...awkward, mainly because it's a verb. I'd recommend grief or regret or any other variations of the word.
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Thank you for the feedback!!
Fixed
As an editor, I was bored as the grammar and everything else was GREAT. (or because I'm still in-traning and am too inexperienced to spot Amy.)
But seriously though, it's good.
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5904885
True time will tell on storyline though. Most stories start out great but tend peter out as they go on so keep pushing.
5904885
Thank you!
5904902
I'll try to do my best
Good story. Can't find any mistakes, but I'm not really an editor. I'mma need to read the first chapter. (I skipped over thinking there would more work to do here. I'll get back to when I read it.)
I have but one question: Is there a Nightmare Moon in this alternate universe? Or did that never happen?
Still a good story.
5912659
Thank you!
There was a Nightmare Moon in this universe, just that AJ wasn't involved in her defeat. It could be that Celestia actually stepped for once or there are only five EoH or something... I prefer to left it up to the readers' interpretation as it's not really the focus of the story
Oh
My
God
This is awesome!
Needless to say, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
I wonder who's gonna freak out more, Rainbow or Applejack?
Oh, yeah.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
I'm really hope that you'll write story about friendshipping and don't fall to blatant shipping.
This is awesome!! I love it so much!! It doesn't matter to me if you make it an Appledash or just friendshipping but I just want MOAR!!!!!!!!
5917376
Don't be so pessimistic, shipping isn't the worst thing to happen, it can be quite enjoyable if done right.
Personally, I'm looking forward for more.
So I saw this in the popular box and thought I'd give it a read because it looked good and had good comments. It... Didn't really do it for me. I can see why people like it, though. I generally love AU stories where different events unfold, but this one didn't tickle my fancy in the same way others have. Don't worry, author, it's nothing to do with you, it's me that's the problem, heh. Nonetheless, you still get my upvote for it, and there it shall stay.
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5919375
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
5917376
I'll try not to disappoint with any cheap romance, though I can't promise to please everyone. Sorry...
5920024
You are too kind... I'm sorry you didn't find it to your liking, but I will strive to improve to (hopefully) one day write a story worthy of your time.
5919375 Agreed. My shipping goggles are on.
5920055 Are you still going to work on this story? PLEASE SAY YEEEEEEESSS!!!! This is like... one of the BIGGEST cliff hangers I've ever seen!!!!
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6128189
I'm still working on it! Might take a while to get out of this writer's block, but I haven't abandoned ship yet
Sorry for the long wait!
6136504 It's okay just wondering if I should shout with glee or cry in a corner
So in this timeline her brother would become Honesty instead?
Omg I’ve dreamed about a story like this and to see that it exists is amazing, I hope you’re able to continue working on this one day. Amazing work!!!
I completely love the premise of this story, hope it gets continued one day because I’d absolutely love to see where the story goes