Celestia is far from an ordinary filly. The wings on her back and horn on her head have made that quite clear. In the corrupt, poverty-ridden world of steam and grime that she calls home, judgement against alicorns is swift and final by order of the Lord of Chaos that ponies have learned to worship.
The road to safety is far from welcoming, and fate has greater ambitions in mind than freedom for Equestria's last surviving alicorns.
(A steampunk-ish interpretation of Celestia's origin story and Equestria's historical past. Book One of a planned Three) Special thanks to Ice Star for prereading and editing help
Chapters (14)
More please!
Quite good.
aw! come on! why you do this!?
more! please! i beg of thee!
Damn great chapter, this story truly deserve more like and rating.
This is rather interesting
Just started reading, and I can say two things :
Firstly, your weaving of the story is fantastic. You place the nessisary pieces of information in a way that grabs the reader, and strings them along.
Secondly, your amount of information per chapter is very pleasing to see. The chapters posted so far are neither too long nor too short, and allows the reader to breathe as they arc through each section.
I send you my thanks for writing what you have so far, and hope that more will arrive in due time.
Sincerely, an intrigued reader.
i predict they are either slavers, out for the bounty on celestia or they are being truthful.
more please!
I hope they are being honest.....nevertheless! Your update made my day quite bright, so I thank you for that. I look forward to more when it arrives.
something in the soup?
more please!
Craaaaaaaaaaap.......drugged, bagged, and ready for discord..........crap.crapcrapcrap.
Not bad! Upvote!
I only just found this story but I have to say it's fantastic XD
I'm a sucker for anything with royal sisters in it and this is a very different and interesting imagining of their origins
I'm really looking forward to reading more of this with this one along with dusk falls
and on a note more specific to this chapter: those lousy, no good, Discord damned bounty hunters!!!
Never trust people named after plants, they've got issues....
You know, this is a rather in-depth look into how things could have been. Although the whole spontaneous alicorn transformation that started this journey complexes me.
6539601 Well, I'm glad you like my interpretation!
I have no intention of leaving the specifics of their ascension completely ambiguous, but keep in mind Celestia at this point in the narrative has no intention of seeking answers. And until she starts caring about anypony other than Luna then that will remain unchanged.
Celestia seems so bitter... kind of makes me feel sorry for her. I'm really interested in seeing how you will develop the transition to the noble character of today. (I suppose she will take some valuable lessons from her own pain...) And of course, considering Luna's (still) relative innocence, her own inevitable cynism catalyst later on becomes all the more tragic.
Other than that, I love the world you've built. I think "steampunk" really is a fitting term - but it is subdued just enough that the Equestria I recognize is still there, yet with a slightly different feel. Very nice!
So...I feel kinda bad, cause while just randomly checking up on this story, I noticed it had a new chapter.
I was totally unaware that there was a new update!
The new chapter was really cool, gave a negative backdrop to celestia and luna's relationship, and also showed that not all ponies could be bad, if fear didn't control their hearts.
REALLY SAD TO SEE THIS ON HIATUS, AND I WANT MORE.
Glad, that Sombra not so bad here as in original show.
Oooooooh! Now I really really REALLY want more! You added the one character I love the most: Sombra.
so very glad that you've gotten back to this story
). This series continues to be a very interesting interpretation of the Royal Sisters' backgrounds and the world is still awesome. Celestia's character seems to have gotten a lot of development (she really has turned into a fearful, narrow minded animal that is just desperately holding on to life yet not completely lost) and I am very exited to see where it goes. I guess I should complain about a lack of Luna but I'm not that worried by it.
Have to say this chapter was a really good way to come back, Celestia is wonderfully scummy, Sombra's pretty neat, and there's some wonderful pony on pony violence (you got pretty far with out having the main character being beaten senseless and that was bugging me, FO:E kind of ruined me for that
Any way great job and see you with the next chapter
Another chapter
Not as good as the last one, I really like the character building for Celestia in that one, but this story continues to intrigue and I cant wait for more.
I was just getting to like Willow though
I liked it, simple, to the point. They got underway, and now have a new, exciting, travel buddy to--reads the author note at the end--.......to get rid of immediately it seems.......huh...okaaaay, didn't expect that one.....regardless, I like it and want more.
Aww.
But I like Willow.
Also make more!
6966266 I'm somewhat surprised that she's been well received, heh. I was actually worried she would take the focus away from Celestia and Luna too much, so I'm glad to see that's not the case.
She'll be around for most of the next chapter, anyways.
Thanks for reading!
6966297 I would like to see her as a secondary character that shows up from time to time while running from the guard. I think Discord would want anyone that was working with the alicorns to also die horribly.
i like the story so far, thanks for writing it.
7012611 Thank you for reading! I put a lot of effort into this one, so it always pleases me when it gets love.
So far I've read what you have finished of this and Synthetic Bottled Sunlight... I must say, you're quite the amazing writer. I look forward to more chapters of each
I. Love. Sombra.
I think the moral of this chapter is: 'It's okay to steal from ponies... especially if they're dying.'
And while I'm not sure to love or hate young Celly's bitchiness anymore but I am loving the action scenes.
Still waiting for Sombra to re-appear...
7803031
Next chapter!
7803126 Does he steal from children like Celly? I need more children being robbed, here.
7803130 Does robbing parents of their children count?
7803160 That's the best kind of robbing.
Missing something here
Doesn't she still have the inhibitor ring here?
Anyway, yay new update. Those two still can't catch a break though
Edit: and yeah, forgot to mention I don't see how it was an option for Celestia to work in a brothel, with a horn and wings she would be discovered right away.
Good to see this story continue.
Willow suggest Celestia to earn money in a brothel, but I think that it wouldn't have worked since Celestia is an alicorn, unless she's wearing something to cover her wings.
I'm so glad to see this updated. Anything with Celestia and Luna is awesome and this is one of their coolest origin stories. The pair of them continue to be an interesting dynamic. Willow is awesome, I just love how confrontational she is with Celestia. She's a great foil and I'm hoping that this isn't the last we'll see of her. This interpretation of the world continues to be interesting to see and I'm glad to be getting more.
The brothel thing was odd. On one hand it was good character building with Celestia, showing off her selfishness but also revealing that she has some sense of self-respect buried in her. It also showed some of Willow's thought process and the workings of this world. On the other hand, Celestia has wings that somepony mounting her would probably notice. I've also got Celestia the street-walker in my mind now and I'm unsure how to feel about it.
Anyway, loved it, should have read it sooner, waiting for more, CelestiaxWillow is my new ship.
7809998 I wouldn't call it selfishness. A sacrifice she isn't ready to carry out, maybe. Something that makes her far from selfless like any of us, but not selfish.
7814235 While the "not wanting to be a whore" thing isnt selfish on its own, Celestia's character is extremely selfish and that scene just adds to that aspect of her. Even if the act itself is more a matter of not being selfless.
7814483 Yep, that's something along the lines I was thinking. It's hard not to be selfish in a world like this.
I hope Willow is ok, she is such an interesting character and it would be a shame if Celestia and Luna would lose her already. I think she does very well in pointing out Celestias misbehavior by expressing her opinion.
Although there are quite a few tense and grammatical errors (as well as some redundant words), your story is quite interesting.
LOVED the update, and can't wait to see more. However, I see that its been slow going on the updates, so whatever life is dealing ya, I hope you find time to simply enjoy living again soon. Be it writing stories, or just relaxing ^^
Ohhhh. This is not good. It was obvious they were up too something, but to have it confirmed breaks my heart. Those poor fillies.
Outstanding story thus far! It has earned its perfect like-to-dislike ratio, even if I feel that the low amount of views is a crime. I have to say that I really enjoy the world you're building here and the contrasting personalities of Luna and Celestia.
Celestia is a rite bitch, but I do understand why she is that way. I only wish Celestia would suck it up and tell Luna how much she loves her, as it feels like she is taking Luna's devotion for granted. It's only a matter of time before Luna gets sick of Celestia's attitude and does something drastic.
It seems you left a sentence unfinished here.
Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
8128520
8128520 The story is dreary in tone, and centers around a rather morally bankrupt pre-history Equestria. Most of the 'dark' nature is derived from the lack of concrete morales in this Equestria. Celestia as a protagonist is very survivalist driven, but she isn't a murdering backwards savage either.
It's by no means a gorefic, and most of the tone is established rather early on into the first chapter. You should be able to glean how 'dark' the story is from there.
That said, there is death and swearing basically in every chapter.
finally update!