• Member Since 8th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 23rd, 2018


Something, something, something, dark side. Something, something, something, complete.


Diamond Tiara becomes an alicorn princess. She gets up to adventures and stuff. Silverspoon is well jel. Also, Celestia has a crush on them. (This story is a parody, obviously. Though I genuinely believe that Diamond Tiara is a character that needs more love. She's adorable.)

Suggest ideas for future chapters here.

Cover picture by Total Krazen.

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 73 )

Very well written, I don't think a change prose, tense and perspective is a bad thing at all. Good job. :heart:

The Princess Diamond cometh, behold, behold. A princess here before us, behold, behold, behold...

Thanks. I'm considering using second person perspective for the (T-rated, non-explicit) sex scene, because I know how much everybody loves that.

Also: :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

5893683 Thanks! I do write more serious stuff too.

:coolphoto: ← closest emoticon I could find to "somepony looking serious".

Silver Spoon never gets her way. Every time she's all "Hey, wanna bang Celestia?" and she's all like "Eww!" so Silver never gets to bang Celestia, despite if she had gone to Celestia, Celestia would have like, totally 'given the horn' to her.

Poor Silver Spoon. All she wanted was unimaginable sex with an alicorn goddess. GEEZ!

5893725 Fret not, dearest Silverspoon (yes, it's one word in this story, just cos). This story is marked incomplete for a reason.

Yeah, seriously Twilight. You spent all those years freaking studying when you could have been having a life and then become instant super powerful great at the magics when you got alicorned. Now Diamond's an alicorn, too, and she done made you look a fool!

Now to go zapp me some blank blanks. But only one zapp per blank, gotta be all nice and stuff. Plus, Sweetie Belle has good taste in alicorns. Scootaloo gets zapped because she's an orphan and kids don't play with orphaned who don't even got mittens. But Silver forgot her mittens too, so she got zapped. But mostly cause she didn't think DT would zapp her. But DT is a fair ruler and totally not because Silver just makes the cutest squeaks and make that pouty grumpy look when she gets upset.

Scootaloo in a nutshell

And Scootaloo was there too, but no one saw her because the zapped Griffon fell on her. She was jel of Diamond Tiara, but that was like all the time for being rich, pretty, an alicorn, and just generally too cool for everypony because she got a famous singer to write how cool Diamond Tiara was for every pony that stayed in the top charts since release, reminding ponies how much better she was than them.

:rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: out of 10, I don't have to read more than the first chapter to have thoroughly enjoyed this. But i'm going to see what else you got :heart:

Part of me wants to hate this fiction, but the rest of me is laughing too hard to consider it. Love it.

5894155 If you think Trixie is best pony, then surely you don't have any problem with adorable antagonists? I actually like Trixie even more than Diamond Tiara. The second story I published on this site was a Trixie fic.

5894174 It's part of the reason why I love this story. Adorable antagonists are best antagonists. Though some will argue rather Trixie is a true antagonist or not, but I'm not going into that.

As for your Trixie fic, I'll give it a look see.

and then Celestia was like "ok, I'll give you the horn," and she sniggered because that sounded rude

It's probably a long stretch, but is that a Black Adder reference?

5894647 If it were a Blackadder reference I would have said that it "sounded a bit rude". But it was only not a Blackadder reference because I didn't think of it at the time.


No mittens? No friends!
Those darn orphans never learn :trixieshiftright:

Though I genuinely believe that Diamond Tiara is a character that needs more love. She's adorable.)

Pft, her character certainly has the potential to turn around and be adorable, but when in the show has she ever hinted at actually moving towards a more likeable personality? Now, if being a complete jerk is cute in your eyes then that's a different story. Personally I would like to see her turn her act around, far more than some of the other villains that have done so.

For instance, I was always kind of hoping Trixie would turn into Twilight's 'Team Rocket' so to speak. Sigh, oh well, that ship has sailed.

And then Diamond Tiara teleported to Luna's room in the castle and watched her sleeping for like an hour or something.

Touché, Diamond Tiara. Touché. Watching us sleep as we have watched you dream. Pray, thee, then that all of Equestria for Diamond Tiara not uncover the secrets to peer into the minds of our ponies.

Worry not, though, for I have this to keep her within bounds.

Poor Silver Spoon. I don't like either one of those two but I would have made SS the princess because she isn't quite as bad.

She should have fried Button because of that hat. Hell I'd have him beheaded but that is just me.

5895139 Yeah, I just thought that would be kind of creepy, and thus funny.

The one time a story with chapters less then 1,000 words is actually good.

I wrote this chapter because Skunkiss asked for an assassination attempt on my blog

Yes... YESSSS!!! Finally my evil mind-control works through the internet, too!
Wha ha haaha ha!

I had to bring her back to life

Nah, thanks a bunch, you're awesome.
Almost as awesome as princess DT or servant SS :raritywink:

she gets down on three knees and says, "Silverspoon, will you marry me?" and you jump and and down and start fangirlling like seriously a lot, and then you say, "yes,"

This is the most romantic thing I have ever read.
They should make a movie-trilogy about this.


They should make a movie-trilogy about this.

I'm already in negotiations.

5897980 Just don't cave to Sony's demands of wanting to do their own movie out of it and leave you out of the planning stages. They will only milk the IP with crappy trilogies that will reset the canon every time they run out of base ideas. Because unlike the effort you put into these 300-500 word masterpieces, they will only do the most minimalist attempt at a screenplay!

5900492 I think if I'd really pushed myself on chapter 5, it could have gone all the way to the big 600.

These chapters contain less sodium and sugars than a can of Dr. Pepper. Allowing you to indulge in more words than your optometrist would normally recommend.

What are you waiting for? Pop a few chapters today!

5900494 My teachers and momma taught me that pushing others isn't nice. So by extension, you shouldn't push yourself. It's not nice.

Siscest! She's getting married!

Princess Diamond Tiara gets all the fillies and mares but sticks to just Silver Spoon. Princess Diamond Tiara clearly earned the element of loyalty and generosity for sticking with Silver Spoon and being generous to bring back the marshmallow crusader.

Chapter is over so have to wait now. Ewwww, waiting!

Well then. You sure fooled me with that erection joke. I need to spend a lot less time in the gutter than I should. :applejackunsure:

No one expects the Fathery Inquisition!

I bet Twilight would trade her own castle for Diamond's massive woody there.

5916841 Nope, I'm not! Most people would not like me as a ruler.

This is surreal and demented, and yet I can't look away. I look forward to further developments in the train wreck.

I think it's pretty obvious that Diamond Tiara wrote this fic herself. Imagine the embarrassment if anyone were to find it!

And Sweetiebell said, "so how did you punish that evil bitch Silverspoon for trying to murder you, and actually murdering me?"

And Princess Diamond Tiara said, "I punished her a bit, but now we're getting married."

And Sweetiebell was so happy and hugged Princess Diamond Tiara


"...And Princess Diamond Tiara was all like, 'if you're going to miss me so much, then why did you never make a single jot of effort to spend time with me before I ascended to royalty?! Why is it only now that you're suddenly so keen to be the doting father?'"

Cheerilee: "Diamond Tiara, pay attention! If what you're writing is so important that you can ignore the lecture, perhaps you would like to share it with the rest of the class?"

Diamon Tiara: "...Oh Celestia, NO."

5927792 You're really hoping that this is all going to be Diamond Tiara's bad self-fanfic, aren't you? (I was actually half-considering that for the end, but now I think I have a better idea.)

Not really hoping. It was just an interpretation. I eagerly await whatever is coming.

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