Scenarios

by Loud_Taffy

Calling Out Bad Grammar (Octavia (EG))

Octavia was visiting her friend Vinyl Scratch. After that last gig at the celebration party for some big company, Vinyl had been having a serious issue with telemarketers. After explaining this to Octavia, and as if on cue, the phone rang. Octavia insisted that she answer it herself. "Ello?" a cheery voice answers.

"Hello. this is Cell Tella with Barnyard Bargains. Is Vinyl Scratch available?" Vinyl was shaking her head frantically. Octavia just smiled.

"Yes. She is available." Vinyl facepalmed.

"Oh, wonderful."

"Okay. Have a nice day." Octavia then hangs up the phone. Vinyl stares at her. Octavia holds up a hand and sure enough the phone rings again.

"I'm sorry. The call seems to have disconnected." Octavia smirked.

"Oh, no. I hung up."

"What? Why?!"

"It seems to me your business was completed."

"I asked if I could speak to Vinyl Scratch!"

"No, you asked if she was available. I confirmed it, and you said 'Oh, wonderful', so that was that." At this point Octavia had a really smug look on her face.

"Most people understand that when you ask if someone is available, you want to talk to them!"

"Well, now your just running on assumption. In polite conversation, you confirm that the person you wish to speak to is there and then ask to speak to them." The set up was too perfect and Octavia knew it.

"Fune. CAN I speak to Vinyl Scratch?"

"I don't know, can you?"

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

"You're the one using poor grammar skills. That's not my fault." Octavia's smile widened in anticipation for the payoff.

"FINE. MAY I speak to Vinyl Scratch?"

"No."

She then hangs up the phone again. By now Vinyl is doubled up on the floor gasping for breath. Octavia holds up a hand again. Having accomplished what she set out to do, everything from this point on was gravy. The phone rings again.

"Now listen up, you. I'm calling Vinyl Scratch from Barnyard Bargains, and I would LIKE to speak with her please."

"Do me a favor. Check in your files how many times Vinyl has asked you to stop calling her. I have a running count here. If you get the number right I'll hand her the phone."

"You are an awful person."

"I know. Fabulous, isn't it?" She hangs up and Vinyl hasn't received a call since.