Chapter 4: SEC
The police officer leaned over the table of the investigation room.
“Do you know why you're here?”
“I have my suspicions.”
“Care to share?”
“Somebody doesn't like competition.”
“What kind of competition? In what?”
“I don't know. Tungsten market maybe? Why don't you tell me the official story?”
“The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission requested your extradition to the United States for trial on charges of insider trading.”
“Oh, yeah, the universal bouncer for those without a ticket to the elite club. I might have guessed.”
“So do you admit to it?”
“To what?”
“Trading stocks based on insider information.”
“No.”
“Just no?”
“I didn't do any stock trading, insider or not.”
“Do you deny you have...” He peered into a sheet of paper he held, and gave up on deciphering the number. “A whole lot of stocks to your name?”
“No, I'm aware of that. Last I checked, about one and a half billion dollars worth.”
“How would you explain that?”
“My partner is a genius.”
“Your... partner? Why wouldn't he use his own account?”
“I wouldn't know. Maybe he doesn't want to be famous. Apparently legally earning the first billion involves a SWAT squad tearing your front door down. If I were him, I certainly wouldn't want that kind of attention.”
“Why should I believe you have some mysterious partner and haven't done all that trading yourself?”
“Come on, insider information is volatile, I know that much. A couple days and it's useless. Check my history over last weeks. Work, buying hay, some playing online...”
“Playing on the stock market?”
“World of Tanks. A game where you drive a tank.”
“You implying...”
“I wouldn't have time to do any insider trading myself. Most of the stocks were bought in one weekend. I was at my home then, helping my mother. Most of the day outdoors, neighbors saw me, there will be a track record of me shopping with a debit card there, and in the evening I was soundly asleep. The only network connectivity there is from my phone. Feel free to verify network traffic with my billing and trace me by phone locations.”
“A very good alibi. Almost too good.”
“Once my partner showed me the account next evening, I made sure to remember everything I did that day, because I kind of expected this kind of questions.”
“Well, let us assume you do have a partner. Would you mind providing some proof? Or some info on his identity?”
“He's very secretive. I know very little about him. Check my phone; there's a TorChat app. He's my only contact. Why don't you contact him yourself?”
“How did you meet?”
“Classified ads on the TOR network.”
“So, you decided to take the job of a middleman. Straw-man, they call it. Get the scraps off the table of a criminal mastermind?”
“Criminal?”
“Insider trading is a very serious charge.”
“What happened to 'innocent until proven guilty'?”
“Let’s look at it honestly. There is no way to earn that much money unless you possess insider information. That guy is guilty, and the moment he's down, so are you.”
“That's what I thought before I met him. The guy is a genius. He doesn't need insider information.”
“So how would he do it?”
“I can't even begin to wrap my mind around his business methods. He tried to explain one to me. When he showed me the connection between El Niño and condom sales in Amsterdam, I called it quits.”
“Sounds like he was bullshitting you.”
“I thought so too, but then he showed me the spreadsheets. Each year El Niño blows over the Pacific ocean, the sales jump five to ten percent. Let me see if I can recall... El Niño brings more rainfall to Brazil, meaning increased rubber tree and cocoa production, meaning lower cocoa prices and better cocoa quality. The condom rubber price drops, too, but that has only a marginal impact. But the lower prices and better quality of cocoa means better and cheaper chocolate in Belgium. Better chocolate increases libido. In the neighboring Amsterdam there's the biggest brothel district in the world and one of the biggest ports. El Niño forces more shipowners to redirect their ship to Atlantic, and in effect, to Amsterdam. More sailors eating the cheaper, better chocolate is more customers for the condoms.”
“Bullshit.”
“The spreadsheet is in the laptop you have taken. Everything can be checked. Meteorological portals data, quarterly reports of condom exporters.”
“If you say so... Tell me another thing: you don't seem like an idiot who would help a Nigerian prince. What made you trust a total stranger with your bank account and identity? They could put you ears deep in debt.”
“Money up front.”
“To the account you made available?”
“No, Bitcoin.”
“What's Bitcoin?”
“You're from the police, and you don't know what bitcoin is? The unregulated digital cryptocurrency which can be used to make anonymous transactions over the net? The primary currency of drug cartels nowadays?”
“So you got paid in bitcoin...”
“More than my account balance and my total credit capability. Apparently he has aplenty. I could have vanished with the bitcoin without fulfilling my end of the transaction and he'd be powerless to stop me.”
“How much exactly?”
“Allow me to withhold that information.”
“Okay... so, what the hell is that business with the horse?”
“Saved her from the butcher knife. I make bicycle trips all over the city, learning its layout, seeking interesting places. That day fate brought me to the livestock market. I just couldn't stand there and look while she was being sent to her death. I broke my piggy bank and bought her.”
“And brought her to your rented flat?”
“I had no other place and no money to rent a stall, no contacts, not even enough to pay a truck to some foundation. That's when I got desperate for money and started looking through ads on TOR for a way to get money fast, not necessarily legally. It was blind luck that I found a legal method.”
“Well then, one more thing. What's Mr. Tresher's beef with you?"
“I can only guess, but I believe his beef is with the mare. She used to be his.”
“How do you know that?”
“I often go to his riding school not far from my place. I draw his horses; I have a full sketchbook. One day she approached me, and... we began bonding. She's a feisty one; supposedly no trainer managed to stay on her back. But the bond we began to form...”
“You say no trainer managed to stay on her back. How do you know?”
“I overheard three of them talking one day, while I was walking past them. I saw the mare throw one of the trainers off her back. Then I bet them I could make a circle around the paddock on her back.”
“Why?”
“They were about to start beating her, so I thought fast of something to distract them.”
“Did you succeed?”
“In distracting them? Yes, I saved her a lot of pain that day.”
“Making the circle.”
“No. I made it through two-thirds of the way, though.”
He chuckled. “Alright, so what would Mr. Tresher's beef be with the mare?”
“This is purely my conjecture, but I imagine he wanted to show off his skill, possibly in front of someone important, and the mare humiliated him, so he ordered her to be sold to the butchers. He has a reputation of being a vengeful person with a big ego.”
“And finding out she's still alive, he picked up a beef with you. Damn, this all adds up. One thing more: how would he find out?”
“He has eyes all over the city. A new billionaire in town? Hard to miss. No, wait, that guess doesn't make sense. I don't think he'd send his thugs if he knew that. Who knows, maybe the guy selling her on his behalf told him.”
“Your name would be on the sales contract.”
“There was no contract. The seller agreed only to a verbal agreement, take it or leave it.”
“So it would mean the paperwork would say the mare still belongs to Mr. Tresher... He could just legally request you give her back.”
“Providing he has any paperwork.”
“Why wouldn't he?”
“He could legally request me to give her back.”
“Right. You've been... immensely helpful.”
“So what happens now?”
“Don't quote me on this, I've got no decision-making authority here, but with my cop experience, I can foresee how it will go from now. You won't hear from your secret partner ever again; that's how they operate. Such is the middleman's fate. Providing your story checks out, I mean things like your alibi, you're in luck. If you didn't do any illegal trading, the extradition request on your current charges will be denied. Of course, you aren't exactly innocent, though, but I believe this will be arranged with the SEC, and you'll be tried in the local court. You will remain in arrest for a while, a month or two, so that you can’t tamper with the evidence while it's being collected. As an unwitting accomplice acting in good faith and under duress, you'll end up with a sentence low enough that, counting the jail time towards it, you will walk out of court a free man. Of course, all your ill-gotten assets would be seized, but only the ones you acquired since the start with the stock trade, so... you'd get to keep the horse.” He winked to me. “Easy come, easy go. Back to square one, or maybe square two - a little better-off than before. You've got some of that 'bitcoin' of yours saved up? That predates the start of stock trade too, so you'd get to keep it.”
“Of course that is all providing Mr. Tresher doesn't have any friends in the court system.”
He cringed.
* * *
“Did they buy the story?”
I nodded to Dawid. “Didn’t I tell you telling it starting at the end would increase the credibility? They loved it.”
“Won't help much with the court. You are going to lose badly. I'll appeal and try a higher instance. Tresher doesn't have many people there and with this kind of funds I can pull quite a few strings. Still, it will take time. The law machine is slow.”
I winced. “What's going to happen to the farm and the horse in the meantime?”
Dawid smiled. “Jan says he made friends with your secret associate, though he wouldn't tell me much beyond that. Still, he said he would take care of the mare in your absence and move her to a secure location in case the farm is seized or locked down.” The lawyer shook his head. “You'd think you know a man after a dozen years of cooperation, and then...” He made a “brains exploding” gesture with his hands around his head. “He's like... I don't know. Reborn. New energy, new youth. I'd think he imagines he's in some kind of a big adventure like in the movies. Anyway, your mare is in good hands. Mostly. I think I saw him giving her cake... Isn't that bad for horses?”
* * *
“Your partner wants to talk with you.”
The policeman, who entered my jail cell held my phone in hand. “I'll be doing the talking,” he said. “Just to make sure you don't exchange anything... 'unsavory'.”
“How are you?” he read from the screen.
“Not bad. You?”
I saw him type “Okay, and you?” instead of what I said.
“Furious, but safe and well otherwise.”
“So, what are you up to?” got paraphrased at “What are your plans?”
“I'll get you out, I swear.”
“Don't do anything rash.” Apparently the cop decided the sentence can go unchanged... or maybe he failed to think up an alternative.
“You know me.”
“I do. That's what I'm afraid of.” “I'm afraid of” became “I fear.”
“Ha-ha.”
“Take care of yourself. I'm safe for now, so don't worry.” He typed it literally.
“Sit tight, I'm getting you out soon.”
* * *
Eight days passed without new developments. I was slowly getting used to the jail life. It wasn't that bad. Not a prison with real criminals, just a place for people who failed to pay their taxes, who didn't show up for their army duty, who were caught on small-scale frauds. Sure it was dull, boring and depressing, but the guards were reasonable people, the food was good, there was a gym, and I took up exercising, and nobody would mind me drawing horses for hours... although often they became unicorns and pegasi. Dawid would show up now and then, telling me how he had barely thwarted moving me to a high-security prison, or how Jan with his security guys stopped another raid on my new home.
Then, nine days after Celestia contacted me, Dawid showed up again in the morning.
“You're being released on bail, and it's only a matter of days until your charges are dropped. The charges against your partner were dropped by the SEC, so your collaboration didn't have any criminal character. Now that fact just needs to get through the local red tape, and you know it could take a while. Your friend is powerful indeed... you'll see for yourself.”
I was led through the check-out process, given my “civilian clothes” and items from the deposit.
We got into his car – a meager Škoda – and he started the engine.
“What happened to the BMW?”
“Poor mileage. After Exxon went bankrupt, fuel prices went through the roof. I took my wife's car, and she uses the busses.”
“Exxon went bankrupt?”
“Exxon, Walmart and Kodak. Microsoft is grasping at straws to stay afloat, and Honda got merged into Volkswagen. And that's just the start of the mayhem. The stock markets worldwide are closed while the economists scramble to handle yesterday's publication. The last line read 'And so, Sony goes bye-bye.' They’re doing everything in their power to prevent it now.”
“Publication?”
He shook his head. “Just ask your partner. I've just got the news stories, you'll get it at the source.”
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Celestia...
What the hell have you done?
Well Tia, you did it again!
good job Celestia! you crashed the stock market!
6251093
Well said
Holy cow, Celestia! W-what? How?!
Economy crashes and burns...
Yup, Celestia forgot how to do things small.
This had potential, but now it's just starting to look like another fic with Celestia as a full-on Mary Sue.
hum some how I think Celestia has ben a bade girl, in a good way.
don't mess with a genus that is 5000 years old she gets even.
Sony goes bye bye, Microsoft struggling. Nintendo wins!
This story reads like "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie," except with hyper-intelligent alien horses and the world's socio-economic stability.
world domination! yay!
6255560
Dayum, they crossed the wrong supergenius. Took down five, maybe six major companies in days.
Celestia, stop destroying human things.
Celestia: Ohnoes! I put my friend in jail! I'll save him!
Days later, economy in chaos.
Celestia: Surprise!
6252403 She has well over 1000 years of political and economic experience. Not mary sue.
With Sony gone and The Last Guardian with it.
6255560
If you give a horse some money, she will want a bank account.
When she has the bank account, she'll get into stock trading.
Once she learns how to trade stocks, she will play the economy.
After she plays the economy, it will cause economic upheaval.
Because she traded in your name, you'll be arrested.
She'll be worried about you, so she will bankrupt several megacorps to keep you from going to prison.
Once you're out, she'll eliminate the old accounts to keep them from being traced.
This will remind her that she needs to open some fresh accounts.
She can't open them herself, so she'll send you to the bank to do it.
And chances are, if she sends you to the bank to get her new accounts...
She's going to want a little money to open them.
Trollestia at her finest
Insider trading.
The idea that it's somehow wrong to use your own knowledge to your advantage. Just another law meant to force someone's wet dream of how life should work on the rest of us, rather than protecting individual rights.
6265434
A Mary Sue isn't defined just by having a ton of power or skill- the key feature is that the Mary Sue also overcomes any difficulty with ease and faces no huge challenges or threats. If Celestia can bring down the world economy within days, she has leverage on the whole world. No country will risk pissing her off, no sane company or organization will risk pissing her off lest they get both her AND the major countries pissed at them, and an organization insane enough to try to attack her will have everyone else ready to wipe them out to prevent the dead-mare's trigger from going off.
And that's if we are able to suspend enough disbelief to go with the story, given that there are known safeguards and bottlenecks to prevent this kind of quick stock market crash from happening.
6286715
Not all Mary Sue stories are bad. Just shut up and enjoy it. Or don't.
Celestia...
Wow. Celestia is guaranteed to be on the list of some bounty-hunters, even if they don't know her yet.
A little bit shorter, but I still enjoyed it. Amazing how the story is still interesting being told to a detective, even though we've just read it all. It's just like Celestia to make a gigantic explosion of something even when she's helping ;)
Damn it Celestia, this is why we can't have nice things!
..... Really Celestia!?! You just had to, didn't you? Couldn't keep your hooves off... nope.. always the chess master, LET THE CHAOS COMENCE!
I like this celestia