The Canterlot Bureau

by Lapis-Lazuli and Stitch

The Fall Formal Incident

It was precisely 9:37 PM when the first blast of wind nearly blew the windows out of their frames in a squat brick building on Navarre Road. The building itself was utterly nondescript by all accounts, being home to a dry cleaning service on the first floor, a struggling law office on the second, and the third and fourth floor rented by shell companies that had been set up about thirty years ago by the Bureau of Special Investigations.

Well, okay. Technically the companies had been set up by the FBI in an effort to conceal that the Bureau of Special Investigations even existed. A rather important cover operation given that even the panic riddled american populace of the 1960's was not terribly inclined to spend hundreds of millions of american dollars on a group of very serious men and women investigating supernatural occurrences and mysterious disappearances. Even if J. Edgar Hoover himself had been the one to spearhead the project, discretion had always been a byword of such 'unconventional' operations. Of course, that hadn't done much to blunt the public backlash...

By 9:38, the sleepy girl occupying the chair in a room on the third floor was also nearly hurled from her chair when the shock wave that followed blew out the windows on the fourth floor and set every alarm in the building shrieking like banshees. Instinct drilled into her head by countless hours of waiting for a situation of just this severity took over. She slapped a massive switch into the ‘On’ position, sending a surge of current into the ancient (by her standards) instruments and sensors which comprised the listening post’s ears and eyes. All around her, the machinery roared to life with bleeps and bloops drowned out by the klaxon of the alarms.

She smacked a different switch to ‘Off’ to silence the building’s alarms so she could hear herself think, and by extension hear all of the information the instruments were feeding her. Grabbing for the cherry red analog phone hanging on the console, she tried her very best not to crush the thing with her grip while waiting for someone to pick up on the other side. It was hard not to let her mind run away with her in moments like this, when the gentle purr of the fans in the room seemed to drown out all the other noise from the world around her and she waited to see if some disaster had wiped out central authority or if it had just been Lake Erie giving them trouble. Again.

Three long seconds passed before someone spoke, and the voice startled her something fierce. “This is Station Alpha. Sitrep.” The gruff male voice on the other end was easily identifiable as Agent Veritas, but she wasn’t supposed to say anything about it. Communications Discipline and policies of that nature still clung to the Bureau, leftovers of a time when they actually had to abide by certain government mandated regulations on what they could and could not do with sensitive information.

“Unknown event,” she said quickly, scanning the myriad of dials and readouts that were spewing information at her. “Massive spike in barometric pressure, followed by normalization. Came from the east side of the building. Sensors indicate a temporary surge of air pressure by approximately… Holy Moly, twelve percent.” She stared at the data. At that pressure, it should’ve taken out every window in the building. “Wait, the ground sensor detected no air pressure variance. And I’ve got no signs of precipitation either.”

The silence on the other end of the line was nearly deafening. “Sweet Christmas, you’re not alone, Delta Station. Gamma Station reports a similar surge on the other side of town. Nothing got as far as Alpha though.” A pause. “One moment… Okay, NWS says there’s nothing in the area to cause that kind of weather. We’ve got a Class One Incident on our hands.”

The words ‘Class One Incident’ were enough to flood her veins with adrenalin. “We don’t have much time. No one else is close enough.” Agent Truth’s voice was as stern as any father figure’s might’ve been, but he sounded worried. Seriously worried. “I’m sending Gamma Station’s watch to the center of the event, and I want you to meet up with her. Take the Emergency Kit, but don’t engage unless civilians are in danger. Gather information and wait for backup.”

“Aye aye, sir!” she chirruped, almost dropping the phone in her enthusiasm. A real incident! A serious situation! This is what she’d been waiting nearly her entire life for. Well, one of the things. Some of the other things included getting out of high school, moving in with her partner, and getting an autograph from Bigfoot. Who existed, no matter what the papers said, her Da had met him once and said he'd been a really lovely guy if a bit too fond of smoking pot.

“This isn’t the Navy, kid. Don’t do anything stupid out there.” There was a pause, and Veritas’ voice softened. “Be careful, Lyra. I want you coming home to your father tonight in one piece.”

But Lyra Heartstrings just grinned, even though there was no one to grin at. As her Da might’ve said, she was jes’ gettin’ ‘er Irish up. “Don’t’cha worry, sir. We’ll be careful.” With that, she slammed the receiver home, snatched up the rough-and-ready beige duffle bag, and ran pell-mell for the door.

~~~~~~

By the time she found the center of the incident, Gamma Station’s car was already there. It made sense, considering that Gamma had a surplus Crown Victoria Interceptor for a car, and she had a reliable but slightly more pedestrian Chevy Lumina. Of course, the fact that Gamma had gotten there first was not a surprise. The surprise came from the epicenter of the incident.

Canterlot High School.

She stared at the building in frank, almost accusatory anger. The one stupid school event she’d chosen not to attend, and something monumental had happened there. Because of course it had. Suppressing the desire to get back in her car and drive away, she stalked out of the parking lot toward the front of the school. The sound of thumping electronic music and the general din of high school dancing echoed from the gymnasium on the south side of the campus, but the lone figure standing out front of the main entrance was her obvious destination.

She wore a look of astonishment and disbelief on her face, which was incredibly unusual for her. Usually, she was always able to rationalize what was going on before her, but for the first time in Lyra’s experience, Bonnie “Bon” Sweetie Drops was obviously failing to make sense of things. “Bonnie? What on earth are you… looking… at…” Lyra felt her words falling away to awe as she joined her ‘partner in weird,’ turning to find the entire front facade of Canterlot High ripped away and a massive crater in the ground not too far from the main path.

Rationality tried to impose itself. Surely this was the result of some kind of explosion, possibly a prank gone horribly wrong. But then why were there no burn marks on the bricks? And the interior, clearly visible even in the dim moonlight, was almost completely untouched.There was no smell of cordite or other chemical explosive in the air and absolutely no sign of emergency service vehicles.

Principal Celestia might be incredibly sketchy about some subjects, but even Lyra was not prepared to accuse her of not caring for her students’ well being. If someone had been hurt, there would have been an ambulance. But with damage of this magnitude, how was it possible that no one had gotten hurt? No wonder Bon’s brain was locking up. Everything here defied pretty much every law of common sense.

Which meant, of course, that something very uncommon had happened here tonight, and it took a great deal of effort for her not to jump up and cheer at the possibilities. “We need to find the principal,” Bon Bon muttered under her breath. “Surely there must be some kind of explanation for this. Why are the police not here yet?”

“Probably because Alpha Station told them to sod off.” Bons nearly hit the ceiling leaping away from her. Lyra gave her a cheeky grin. “You shoulda’ told me you were working Gamma tonight, Bonnie. You could’ve picked me up.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively at her long-suffering friend, but the joke seemed to sail right over her head.

“You were at Delta?” Bon asked shortly, and Lyra stifled her usual sass. The last thing she needed was Bon Bon in a sour mood. She nodded instead, and Bon’s turned back to consider the catastrophic damage. “I’ve taken a moment to examine the scene. Nothing is in danger of collapse, miraculously, and I don’t think any more stones are liable to fall tonight.” She pointed at the grass, rough and muddy. “And there are signs that most of the students were out here walking around at some point tonight.”

Lyra nodded. Bonnie was in full-on serious mode tonight, so she had to watch her step. “We’d better take a look inside then, and fast. Then we go find the principal. Maybe she’ll be willing to co-operate with us now.” She mimed a kick at one of the massive loose rocks on the ground, unable to pull her eyes from the crater. What in the name of Sagan had caused that thing? “Alpha is going to want answers.”

Bonnie snorted in a very unladylike fashion. “Yeah, and maybe someone will be able to convince you Tunguska was a comet exploding in the atmosphere.” She stalked off toward the wrecked entrance, shoulders tense. “Experimental munitions, maybe? I’d heard DARPA was toying with some kind of pressure-wave generator…”

“Hey, I thought we agreed not to bring up Tunguska! Besides, Doctor Spengler and Doctor Stantz agreed with me.” Lyra huffed and tried to keep up. Which was harder than it looked. Bon Bon could walk fast “And would you stop rationalizing for once in your life? Do you honestly think the army would deploy something like that in a high-school? Get real, Bonnie!”

She was about to launch into a tirade when the whistling tune and vibration of her phone cut her off. She whipped the thing out, slamming her thumb into the ‘answer’ image. “Hello?” She asked suspiciously, having not bothered to check the caller ID.

“Lyra, it’s uh… Veritas.” The hard-edged male voice spoke roughly, almost too-quickly. “I’ve got news you need to hear right this moment.” Lyra snapped her mouth shut, waving her arm at Bon Bon to put her ear to the phone. “We’ve just picked up eye-witnesses that are claiming they saw a big double helix of rainbows rising up near Canterlot High School and then a big flash of white light. Have you two found anything?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but Bon Bon beat her to it. “The front of the school is wrecked, sir,” she snapped off hurriedly. “There’s signs of some kind of conflict here, but nothing suggesting conventional munitions. Serious destruction, but no signs of casualties.”

Silence reigned for a moment, then ‘Veritas’ spoke quickly. “This is bad. I’ve got to call Director Spitfire. You two need to find out everything you can and then blend in. You are to maintain your cover by any means necessary. I don’t care what story you need to concoct. We’ll contact you as soon as we can.” The phone clicked to silence a moment later, leaving Lyra staring at her friend in shock.

Bon Bon took a deep breath and looked at her. “Okay. We were holed up in one of the other rooms and locked ourselves in when things got crazy. We didn’t dress up…” She shrugged. “Actually, no one should question that bit. I’ll find the principal, you go see what you can’t get out of Sunset Shimmer. She’s usually at the center of nonsense like this, and she doesn’t completely hate you.”

Lyra grimaced slightly. The last thing she wanted to deal with tonight was that sorry git, but business was business. “Right. Meet you in the auditorium.” They split up quickly, as Lyra wasn’t much one for fistbumps or the like. The school was eerily empty and quiet, despite the raucous party going on just a few hallways away, and there was no sign of even an attempted cleanup.

Weirder still was the foyer - there were signs something had gone on in here. Discarded heels and sneakers, bits of clothing in little lumps here and there. That one dorky guy’s calculator left face-down on the floor. Scuffs on the wall and floor made by all manner of things. And- Wait... It was hard to pick the sound out, but someone was crying. Sobbing, actually, and with no few heaving breaths. Following it wasn’t hard once she knew it was there, but where it led her was a surprise.

Fate seemed to have decided she and Bonnie were going to be running this job together, whatever Bon Bon might’ve preferred. She was standing tense outside of Vice-Principal Luna’s office and threw a finger up in front of her lips as Lyra approached her. She snuck over to join her, perking an ear to the sounds.

The sound of crying had faded to a faint sniffle. A door was gently closed and Principal Celestia began speaking in a low voice, “What do you think this is going to cost?” She sounded tired, almost exhausted. But was there a note of… satisfaction there?

Vice Principal Luna spoke in her quiet, authoritative tones. “Conservatively? Seventy or eighty thousand, at least. We’ll need to bring in a team to make sure there was no damage to the foundation. Keeping this quiet is going to be a nightmare.” There was a soft thump, like someone’s rump hitting a hard wooden chair. “But we have succeeded, for whatever degree you might call this a success. I firmly believe Sunset has seen the light, so to speak. Have you sent the letter?”

There was a heavy sigh and the distinct clink of glasses hitting a desk. Bon Bon was looking at her in wide-eyed astonishment, but Lyra could only feel grim satisfaction. I knew they were tied up in all of the weirdness around here. A thousand different theories were already teetering around in her head, threatening to burst free if she didn’t focus on the job at hand.

Fortunately, Principal Celestia started talking again. “I did. And we were immediately sent… recompense for our troubles.” There was a thud, and then… it was a hard sound to describe. It sounded like a big pile of change had just spilled out all over a wooden desk. Vice Principal Luna gave off a sudden strangled gasp, and Lyra wished she’d brought her little camera drone. “Yes, it’s quite a sum. It ought to be more than enough to repair the school regardless of the damage and protect our guests from close examination. Not to mention a small fee for the both of us.”

Bon Bon mouthed the word ‘guests’ at her, and it took everything Lyra had not to lose her mind completely on the spot. “Very well,” Luna said, the sound of two glasses clinking ringing in the air. “To our success!” A few moments passed, and two sighs of satisfaction rang out. “We ought to not leave the students alone for long. Gracious only knows what ridiculousness they might get up to after tonight.”

Bon Bon froze in place, but Lyra had no such issues. She grabbed her sometimes-partner’s arm and dragged her across the hallway, blindly grabbing for the door to the Band Room. By some miracle, it was unlocked and she threw open the door and pulled Bonnie in after her. She hadn’t enough time to properly latch the thing behind her, but she got it most of the way closed and quickly hurried them into a dark corner of the room. “Lyra, what-” Bon’s began, but there was no time for sensible nonsense.

“Cuddle me!” Lyra ordered, and after a brief look of confusion on Bonnie’s face, simply grasped her by the arms and pulled her down to the floor. It was the work of moments to nestle Bon Bon in her arms and draw her head alongside her own, the heat of Bon Bon’s blush warming her cheeks. “And be quiet,” she whispered harshly, squeezing Bon’s hands and wrapping her arms around her middle.

Fortunately, Bonnie was no one’s fool. And by the time the door to the band room inevitably creaked open a minute later, she was quite nicely nestled against Lyra’s side. Vice Principal Luna’s head peered into the room and scanned it slowly, before settling upon them. “Ah. I had wondered where you two wandered off to,” she said bemusedly, a little smile curling her lips. “I hate to interrupt you lovebirds, but I think you ought to get back to the celebrations, don’t you?”

Lyra made a great show of looking startled and nervous, then nodded meekly at the vice principal. Luna nodded once before vanishing out of the doorway, leaving it conspicuously open behind her. Lyra quietly counted to fifteen before sighing in relief. Bon Bon huffed softly, muttering under her breath. “Geeze, Lyres. Try and warn me next time, huh?” She was still blushing, given the warmth of her cheeks, and was most certainly more relaxed at the moment than she’d been before.

At that, Lyra could only chuckle gently. “Yeah, the next time someone blows up the front of the school, I’ll warn you that I’m gonna need a hug afterwards.” She nudged Bon’s in the ribs and gave her one more squeeze. “Come on, we need to get the whole story. The game’s afoot, partner.”

Bon Bon glared at her. “I am not your partner, Lyra Heartstrings.”

~~~~~~~~

The truth, as they say, was almost always stranger than the fiction. Lyra only caught a glimpse of the strange new girl with the dog that had been causing such a ruckus in the school these past few days, wearing the Fall Formal Princess crown and cruising toward the school ‘entrance’ with a very offbeat group of girls. Girls who’d been known as close friends nearly their whole lives, except in recent years. But now they were all buddy-buddy again, and if that wasn’t suspicious as Roswell, she didn’t know what was.

Getting the whole story was nearly impossible given the dancing and other ridiculousness going on in the gymnasium, but between the two of them they were able to get the gist of it. Unfortunately, they were only able to get the gist of it being connected to that very same strange new girl with the dog, one Twilight Sparkle by name, and her very much not ordinary crown just in time to witness the first real supernatural event of Lyra’s life.

When she’d heard about the crown ‘possessing’ Sunset Shimmer with the spirit of some kind of powerful demon and Twilight Sparkle and her crew of oddballs suddenly growing tails, ears, and excessively long hair and firing beams made of frickin’ rainbows… Well, if Lyra hadn’t seen Photo Finish’s pictures, she’d have thought everyone had been taking crazy pills. But once she saw, once she knew, she ran as fast as her feet could take her toward the front of the school.

Bon Bon was right there with her only a few moments later, a heavy digital camera in her hands and a look of stubborn determination in her eyes. They ran with all the speed they could, Lyra sliding to a halt behind a pile of rubble as the six figures gathered around the Canterlot Statue. Bon Bon was right there alongside her, and they kept as silent as they could. Straining their ears to hear what was being said.

Unfortunately, they had apparently missed most of the conversation. The girls all hugged one another, sad smiles aplenty. Then Twilight Sparkle picked up her dog, turned to the statue and-

And-

Stepped. Right. Through. It.

The quiet snaps of Bon Bon’s camera weren’t enough to soften the shock of the sight, which was made promptly hilarious by Pinkie Pie careening headfirst into the side of the statue and bouncing off of it like a rubber ball. “Aww… Bummer!” Pinkie groused, looking dejectedly to one side.

“Tell me you saw that.” Lyra breathed softly, holding her hands to her chest to try and calm her hammering heart. “Please tell me you just saw-”

“Twilight Sparkle moving through a solid object as though she were incorporeal. Yes, I saw that.” Bon Bon turned to her, camera shaking faintly in her hands. “We’ve got to report to Alpha station. We may have finally located Site Zero.”

Comments

[ponytrash]

Bookmarking and looking forward to updates.

[Disavowed ASH]

This is going to be magnificent!