After becoming a Wonderbolt and marrying one of her teammates, Rainbow Dash returnes to Ponyville to have her first foal.
Scootaloo wants to visit her formor Idol but why does she want to see her so badly?
Chapters (2)
Shadow Star
Joined 19th Feb, 2012 ·
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could be longer but still enjoyable
u needs to work on spelling tho
The premise intrigues me, but you really need to get a prereader. I'll be watching this because I think it has potential, but seriously, get a prereader!
It needs a some work, - especially in the grammar and spelling area - but with some fixes this could shape up very nicely.
Dude. Spellcheck.
Also, this is an ok length for a prelude, however if the suceeding chapter is the same length you have done something horribly horribly wrong. You should aim for a 2000 word minimum consistantly per chapter.
I can tell you actually care about this story so take my advice on board and work towards being a better writer, it shouldn't be too difficult.
Needs to be about 20% pre-read....
Like the idea, but your grammar and spelling are a handfull.
I know my spelling sucks, and im working on that.
I asked for a pre-reader, but nopony was willing to lend me a hoof.
any help in either will be greatly appriciated.
It was origially intended to be shorter, and all in one or two chapters, but It sort of took on a mind of its own as I started writing it.
I also didnt know about the minmal word count, which is why parts seem... streched.
591127 If you really want I can be a pre reader, I think.
What do you have to do be a pre reader?
592752
Sorry, I dont know either.
Nice start! Think it was a little rushed though, just slow down a bit, k?
Will you finish?
794145
eventually. I had the genral idea on this for a while, and then the rest of it just sorta went off like a firework in my head. Unfortualy its now fizzeled so it's gonna take me a bit, hence the haiatus tag.
794364 yeah, but its a cliffhanger :3
clffhanger? She blew her top how it that a cliffhanger?
Pls tell me this will continue soon I like it so far
3597640
ive got other stuff right now, and the whole thing needs a overhaul and I havnt figured out how to spellcheck the darn thing.
so, maybe.