Friends like these

by Istaran

Interlude 1

From: Daniel Holden
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: New Mailing List
As promised, I've created a mailing list for all of us to keep in contact. You should be able to save the address to your contacts, or just reply to this mail to reach all of us. Feel free to talk about whatever, whether it's specifically Equestria related or not.
For example, I made a new friend tonight when I got home! His name is Sombra, and he helped me become myself again. By the way, I suggest avoiding downtown for the foreseeable future.
-Istaran

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From: Robert Redcliff
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Sombra? He's bad news. And I'm not too keen on you calling yourself Istaran. Does that mean your 'dark half' is active? Scary stuff.
Discord made a cameo appearance in my apartment. I broke him out of his stony prison and he just vanished, heading back to Equestria I believe. That was just kind of odd. It sounded like the same text thing that sent us there sent him here. What about Sombra? Anyone else have an unexpected guest?
-Robert

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From: Daniel Holden
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Yep, with the dark magic Sombra's been teaching me, I shouldn't have to go back to dreaming ever again. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha. It feels so good. Anyways, I checked with my new bro, and he said it was the same thing. Some magic glowing text in the darkness challenged him to make friends with me to go home. We seem to be hitting it off famously so far, but I guess it's not enough yet. So we're going to start villaining together in the big city. Should be a real blast! I'd offer you guys a chance to join us, but none of you are evil or have super powers, so I don't think it would work out.
-Istaran

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From: Relena Swift
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Is Daniel for real? I mean, not about Sombra. Trixie was waiting for me at the cabin. You all remember Trixie, real sweetheart of a unicorn mare. She's been helping me around the house, though she still gets a bit queezy about my hunting. I'd mock her for never having skinned a buck before, but I'd guess that's true of the rest of you as well. I haven't asked Trixie about the Text yet, but I'm thinking I won't. If she's really being forced to make friends with me, I don't want to make it any harder for her by letting her know I know, you know? She's a bit of a showoff, but otherwise a good pony as far as I can tell.
-Relena

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From: Robert Redcliff
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
I'm afraid he is for real. I've had dealings with his alter ego in some of the other timelines. He sufferers from "chronic honesty", which results in him going on about things he has good reason not to want you to know, and requires a concerted effort to lie, usually poorly. I'd suggest staying east of the bridges from here on, and hoping he's nice to us if he succeeds at conquering the world.
Thank Trixie for me, again, for speaking at my mother's funeral. It really meant a lot to me, and it means even more now that I'm facing life alone. Well, sort of. You can only be so alone in an overcrowded orphanage. I'll check back when I can but expect slow replies. The internet time is pretty strictly rationed here.
-Robert
P.S. Don't tell the ponies but I learned to hunt in Equestria, and had to skin my share of.. well rabbits anyways. Plus birds and fish. The bucks there are every bit as sentient as the ponies, so they were certainly off the menu.

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From: Scott Jones
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
That sucks about the orphanage, man. Maybe we can bail you out later if everything goes well. A couple of unicorns named Flim and Flam are here with me. We just finished watching all of Breaking Bad, and I'm a bit worried it might have given them ideas. I'll try to keep things from going off the rails until they can get home, but if we are able to make some decent moolah maybe I can adopt you or something. Just a thought. Any idea what we should watch while we wait for the next season to come out?
-Scott

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From: Relena Swift
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
I'd suggest watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Here, have a link. Probably while the ponies are out and about, or asleep or whatever. Here, Scott, watch this and this. Good to get a bit of perspective about the unicorns in your house.
I'm glad my cabin is way out here in the woods. I just hope the fallout when they decide to nuke Sombra and Istaran doesn't reach this far.
-Relena

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From: Angelica Ericson
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
I found three house guests waiting for me too, but they're not ponies. They look like humans except kind of.. pony-colored. They're great fun, and we're putting together some awesome music videos, want to watch? linkie~ I just put them up on our new YouTube channel. What do you guys think? Drop us a comment and a like if you would! Thanks!
Ciao!

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From: Relena Swift
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Okay, yeah, stop what you're doing and watch Equestria Girls. Here, link. DO SO NOW. To the rest of you, she's got Sirens in her apartment and she's making music videos with them. She's probably a lost cause. Istaran, can you be a dear and go murder her house guests? Make sure to like, turn off your ears while you do. Is that one of your evil super powers?
-Relena

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From: Frank Cobbler
To Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Am I the only one who doesn't have a random pony living with me? There was no one waiting for me but my wife and son when I got home. And let me tell you I sure was glad to see them! I'm just glad to be done with all the ponies. Maybe mine found a way to send himself home before I even got there, like your Discord. That'd be just fine by me.
-Frank

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From: Robert Redcliff
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Who knows? but umm, not to alarm you unnecessarily but has your wife been acting strangely since you came back? More amorous than normal, perhaps forgetting important things that she shouldn't have any trouble remembering?
-Robert

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From: Frank Cobbler
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Okay, that's kind of freaky. But why wouldn't she be extra amorous after we've been gone for over a month? It just makes sense. Though, I don't know why she's doing so poorly with our baby. I'm guessing maybe she was getting depressed from my absence..
-Frank

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From: Robert Redcliff
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Uh Frank? What absence? Weren't you paying attention? We reappeared on the same bus on the same day as we disappeared. It's like some serious Narnia-style bullshit. No time passed here on Earth while we were gone, or maybe a couple minutes at most. Other than your own reaction, she shouldn't have known to miss you. I'm worried you might have a changeling on your hands. Though, honestly I'm not sure what to recommend doing about it.
-Robert

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From: Zeke Goldstein
To: Eastside Equestrian Club, Detective John Miller
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Hi, this is Detective John Miller with the police department. I'm sorry to barge in on your private conversation, but I am investigating several missing persons incidents, primarily that of Zeke Goldstein. I got access to his email accounts as part of the investigation, and found this rather.. cryptic thread. I find it particularly notable that you all swiped your bus passes on the ride where several of the persons went missing. If any of you can spare the time to come down to the station and clear some things up for me, I'd really appreciate it. This is a very serious matter and while I'd prefer being polite about it, I can and will get subpoena's ordered if I have to. At least one person is dead, and six missing. I need answers.
-Detective John Miller

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From: Daniel Holden
To: Eastside Equestrian Club, Detective John Miller
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Welcome, Detective. I'm happy to give you what answers I can, though you won't believe the truth. Everyone on that bus, except perhaps the driver, took a little detour through another world, fought a little war, played a little game, and earned our way back. Only five of us died in the process! The rest of us returned to more or less the same moment in time and space, and then carried on from there.
You mentioned a death. Other than those who did not return, who died? Is Zeke dead? I rather liked him.
-Istaran

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From: Detective John Miller
To: Eastside Equestrian Club
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Well you're right that it's pretty unbelievable. Do you have any proof? I mean, other than the disappearances? Because there's a lot easier to swallow explanations, like that you're a criminal conspiracy of some kind who decided to off the others for some reason.
I shouldn't really talk about who died in an open investigation like this, but I can tell you it's related. Do any of you know where Zeke might go to hide? We know he made it home, before calling 911.
-Detective John Miller

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From: Angelica Ericson
To: Eastside Equestrian Club, Detective John Miller, Twilight Sparkle
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Hi guys, looping in Twilight Sparkle. Haven't had a chance to read the last few emails yet. I found her trying to correct everyone on the Internet with her first hand knowledge of Equestria. lol! Silly Twitwi. There's always going to be people being wrong on the Internet. You can't fix them all!
Anyways, I got to go. The girls are getting kind of upset.
Ciao!

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From: Twilight Sparkle
To: Eastside Equestrian Club, Detective John Miller
Subject: Re: New Mailing List
Hi humans! I finally got my coffee down and managed to read through all this mail. Quite a lot to take in. I'll be looking into the names you've mentioned, but Trixie is the only one I've run into before. I don't know if I'd call her a sweetheart, but she doesn't seem like that bad of a pony to me. I'm not sure what more I can do from this end other than advise you though. If we find a way to open a stable portal or something, you'll be the first to know.
-Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic

Comments

[RealityCheck]

Um.

Okay.

I hope this is a joke chapter, because absolutely nobody here is reacting naturally.

[Istaran]

6005710
Would you care to PM me with more detailed thoughts? While a few of the characters do have (I hope clear) reasons for acting very unnaturally, your response is certainly not what I was hoping to elicit. Perhaps it is not too late for some clever retconjuration?

[Istaran]

6020497

Thanks. I can see the connection, though looking at the picture I can't help but think: why is he wearing black in the desert?! That's going to absorb the maximum amount of light and convert it into heat and make him uncomfortable and maybe dead! He should wear white! And maybe the other guy should wear black to absorb the maximum heat since where he is looks cold, but there probably isn't enough light for it to really matter.

Anyways..
I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I'm a bit surprised to see the unoriginal commented on in this particular leg of the story (Friends Like These); the first story definitely has an unoriginal premise, so I get it if you are counting back to that point. If you did mean just this one, then do you have any suggestions of other stories that you think are similar? I might give them a read sometime.

[Queuefka Palazzo]

Oh god, I laughed the entire way through. The situation just kept getting more and more bizzare, and then the detective came in.

[Istaran]

6721965 Well someone has to investigate all this nonsense!