• Member Since 28th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 3rd, 2014

ErrantIndy


T

In a remote corner of Equestria, the lessons writ by balefire have been forgotten. For the very same reasons zebras and ponies nearly obliterated each other, the donkeys of Kansass and the ponies of Missurrey stand ready to repeat the past. Into this simmering border war wanders a mule on her own mission.


As soon as she remembers what that mission was...

(Thanks to Kashin for the cover image)

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 31 )

eh im looking forward to the coming chapters :twilightsmile:

44738

Thank you very much, first commentor! I'll be getting right on that. :yay:

44738 what that one guy said.

Looking good, buddy!

I think this is going in a great direction, and the companion perk looks useful!

Bob is awesome too.

Keep it up, amigo!

theres some mistakes like words that switched places but interesting start.

Awesome chapter man im almost ready to put out my second ^^ :twilightsheepish:

183994

:twilightblush: Oh, don't I know it, Scully. It's a problem for me, way my mind works as I type and fills in the mistakes as I reread. I don't really have an editor. I have couple of good prereaders but not a strong editor to help me catch that stuff. I'll go through again take a peak when I get time. See if I can spot them when the text isn't so fresh in my mind as to fill in the blanks on me.

184702

Thanks .

Yer now tracked, NeverKnown! I've got a bit of editin' to do for another pony with a negative name, but when I'm done and I can catch up, yer on my readlin' list.

184856 If you need to i can edit for you im already doen it for a couple of other fics that youv probably seen and i can edit it if you send me a copy via email and ill work on it after study's and if i dont get flooded all of a sudden with new chapters to edit. but I'll gladly help if I can.

I think this side story needs a little more love. I'm sticking a pin in this one and tracking it from now on. I want to see where this goes.

I am not normally one to enjoy the amnesia angle, which tends to be used quite a bit, but I find myself not minding this too much. It's a pretty nice twist on the "shot in the head" opening I've noticed crops up with fair frequency as well. You've managed to take two well traveled standards and made them tolerable. I like that.

It is still early in the story and I'm still getting a feel for Hedge as a chharacter. I can't say much on her, though I do like the use of a mule as a central character and am looking forward to the conflict that comes of the strife between the donkeys and the ponies.

All in all, hope to see this develop in the future.

203931

Thank ya, Bones!

Yeah, I know I'm using two tired tropes, but as a disciple of TvTropes, the most dear tenet is that all tropes ain't bad. Amnesia can be a great story telling tool because it makes the point of view character also the cause of exposition. If reader ought to wonder about something, so can the character. It also eliminated the danger of "as you know..." from any exposition. The character doesn't know, so they don't appear idiotic for not knowing basic information.

Shot in the head...now, that's toughie. It's a good reason for bad guys to be fairly sure they're leavin' a corpse behind, rather than various other amnesia inducing events. I'm going SLIGHTLY down a dogleg in how the injury actually manifests. Headshots are so effective literally and fictionally because they are most likely to kill. To survive a headshot you need a whole lot of luck vergin' on one in a million chances. And as much as I love the one in a million trope too...it's bit much, even for me.

I appreciate the track, Bones. I hope I'll make happy ya did.

So far, I'm liking the atmosphere and dialogue quite a bit, as well as the Kansas/Missouri setting. It's something I don't think has ever been done in Fallout as a whole, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it!

So I finally found the story that goes with the picture.

I enjoyed it.

Picture? Oh boy, do I hope you mean the generous inclusion of Hedge in Kashin's Wasteland Winter Wonderland. Because if I didn't love my readers enough...seekin' my own manipulation of Kash's vector would be grounds for an eye or mental examination. :twilightsheepish:

Thanks fer reading and I hope ya stay along for the ride. I ought to have Chapter Four out soon if my schedule permits.

Curse this Master's degree, it drives me from pony writing!

Puppy loves this story! Puppy will read everyall!

Ha!

Puppy, I don't think yer old enough to read this, what with the Teen Rating. :rainbowwild:

246336

Is this a not-so-subtle hint to finish the next chapter?:ajsmug:

I swear it's coming along. I've had several project for my classes and haven't been that motivated when I do have time. I will come soon.

246908 hahahahaha no i just felt like being random altho a new chapter wouldn't hurt none.

Besides a not-so-subtal hit would be a pie in the face with a note at the bottom saying FINISH CHAPTER KNOW!!!!!!!!!!! kinda deal.

256459

Oh no, a citizen of Kansas I will have to have you...'taken care of'...how would a lovely fruit basket sound? Quick question, what is the name for a person from Kansas (ie Texas= Texan)?

I really won't get into Kansas, the real place TOO much. Beyond its and Missouri's inspiration for the events in the story.

Hmm, can't use Kansan. The silly puny will disappear, oh well.

I hope you don't look to me to be an ambassador for your state. I've driven through it once, and the events I'm using aren't the best in y'all's history.

this one time at band camp i was like nom nom nom nom nom nom brains:pinkiecrazy: and then this hobo was like griffin sex is awesome.:raritystarry:

Scully, you are so Random.


As to why I haven't written more, I haven't be really motivated to. I will write. However at the moment, I'm content to edit and help out my fellow Fallout Equestria writers at the Side Story Compilation Doc

You know what stories like this and The Daily Unlife do right? They don't take themselves as seriously. Yes, there is drama and darkness, but it doesn't go the Project Horizons route and become unintentionally comical in how dark they are.

I can't believe I just NOW read this. I'm bad at being grateful. @_@

Not too much to work off at the moment. However, the level of writing I've seen so far is pretty damn good as far as I've seen. Plus, the little joke about the sound effect upon receiving a new quest in the Fallout games being put here made me crack up a little.

Also, Bob's companion perk is awesome.

Hedge's character so far is pretty interesting, what with being mostly driven by instinct and intuition. I'm eager to see how this story pans out.

I've seriously gotta find another editor/pre-reader to let you get back to this faster...

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