• Published 16th Apr 2015
  • 1,815 Views, 26 Comments

Kindness in Bulk - Shahrazad

Bulk Biceps has his eye on Fluttershy. Too bad Rarity decides to protect the timid mare with all of the weapons at her disposal. His night might not go so well, especially if Rarity has anything to say about it!

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Some Things Cannot Be Lifted

Some Things Cannot be Lifted


She sat at the edge of Ponyville’s pond on her haunches, looking down into the placid water. It looked like she just stared at her own reflection. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my entire life, he thought. The mist hung over the lake in languid curls, evaporating in the pale dawn’s light. Cattails, bunched around the water’s edge, jockeying for position, clattered their unique song in the morning breeze. Her yellow coat stood out against nature’s blues, browns, and greens.

Bulk Biceps crept closer to Fluttershy, like a tiger on the hunt. He stopped closer than ever, crouched within a mass of overgrown cattails. She tilted her head, looking at the water, but her ears remained pointed forward. A gnat buzzed under Bulk Bicep’s nose, making his snort. He kept the sound as quiet as he could, but Fluttershy straighten up at the sound with a tiny gasp. “I-is somepony there?” she asked the cattails. She spread her wings, and Bicep’s heart quickened. At the same time, the breezed shifted, giving him a whiff of her unique scent…


Before the Equestria Games…

He focused on the ceiling. He pumped iron like he always did, but today he had an assistant. Fluttershy sat on his barbell, adding additional weight for his workout. He swallowed and prayed to Celestia his body didn’t betray him. He most certainly did not think about looking down in the hope he could see under her tail. That would be wrong, especially to a nice pony doing him a favor. Nor did he shudder with pleasure every time he lowered the barbell and her pink tail tickled his neck. And most importantly, his sweating was entirely due to the workout, and not his proximity to the gorgeous, petite form staring him right in the face.

Nope, he thought to himself, this is all just nerves because of the Equestria Games. I’m fine. He swallowed again, and pushed the barbell and the wonderful tail up and away from himself, sweat glistening on his coat. With a grunt, he set the barbell down on the rails just as one of Fluttershy’s friends trotted up.

“Fluttershy, darling, I need to take your measurements for the new uniform,” said the white mare. He didn’t know her name, but she always seemed to be around at the least opportune times.

“Don’t you already have my measurements?” Fluttershy asked with a little blush.

“They might have changed since I last took them. Come along now,” Rarity replied, beckoning Fluttershy. With a shrug, she hopped off the barbell and flew away. “Um, good job, Mr. Biceps. Keep up the good work!” she called over her shoulder.

“Yeah,” he whispered. It was the most listless, weakest, puniest ‘yeah’ he’d ever said in his whole life. His massive forelimbs dropped apart, one on either side of him. He swallowed again, trying to get the sawdust out of his mouth. He idly ran his right forehoof over his sternum and tried to keep the world steady. His breath came out ragged, and he felt sure that if his hoof weren’t holding it in, his heart would hammer its way out of his ribcage. Must be the cardio, he thought.



Leaning forward to catch her scent while standing in the mud didn’t end well. In fact, he ended up falling face first, well outside of his concealed position. He scrambled to his hooves with his face covered in sticky mud. “Hello!” he blurted out.

“Eeeep!” Fluttershy took the the air, hovering out of reach. She put a forehoof to her chest, trying to calm her breathing. “Oh my, Mr. Biceps, you frightened me. I didn’t see you there,” she said between breaths. Her cheeks flush, she took a moment to compose herself before settling down again near the edge of the water. She folded her wings to her sides perfectly. Bulk Biceps swallowed again, still not believing such grace actually existed in the physical world. “Um, can I help you?” she asked, her right forehoof nervously rubbing her left foreleg. Her eyes darted down and to the left.

“YEAH!” he shouted back. Idiot, you don’t need to shout at her, he thought. He cleared his throat and glanced around. Why don’t I have a flower or something? he asked himself. “Um… I want—” he began softly. Too softly. His voice died in his throat before he could finish. He felt a familiar weight on his back. A tightness in his chest that pushed him down, and made his legs turn to water.

They shivered in the cool morning mist, neither looking at the other. The sun peeked over the mountains, bathing everything in warmth, but still the two ponies shivered in silence. Standing only a stride away, Bulk Biceps felt the distance between them growing by the second. She’s a mirage, he thought, no matter how close I get, she’s always going to vanish before me. Why waste my time chasing something so perfect, so impossible, so unreal? He tried to open his mouth and speak, but he couldn’t even manage to get his lips apart, much less say anything. The sunlight banished the night’s shadows over the lake, drawing his eye. He couldn’t look at her, so he ended up looking at the water’s surface.

“Um…” Fluttershy began, her voice halting, “did you come here to check on the tadpoles, too?” Bulk Biceps looked out over the water, watching it lap against the shore in a steady, quiet beat. A frog croaked out a languid call, then jumped off of his perch on a lily pad and into the water with a splash, like a cannon ball idly dropped into the water. Bulk Bicep’s eyes followed the ripples back to their origin, and his eyes lit up. “Mr. Biceps? Are… are you alright?” Fluttershy asked.

With a flap of his miniscule wings, he took off over the water. Fluttershy let out a surprised squeak, but didn’t move. Bulk Biceps hovered over the lily pad just as the ripples in the water died. He had to invert himself, keep himself hovering in the air without falling, so he could pluck his prize. Dripping mud into the water, he carefully bit down on the stem of the water lily bud, a tiny white bulb, and pulled. It popped out with a minor effort. He returned to the bank and landed, towering over Fluttershy with a wide grin. He said nothing, but leaned closer to her.

“Eeep!” Fluttershy squeaked again and squeezed her eyes shut as he drew closer. Leaning away, she felt the wet mud stuck to his face nuzzle her right cheek. She quivered, waiting for it to end. It did, after only a moment. Cracking her eyes open, she found him standing a respectable distance away, smiling, with a mud caked face. “Um…?” she felt something stuck in her mane, just over her left ear. She blinked, then peeked at herself in the water. Her face stared back at her with a water lily bud resting in her mane, and a smudge of mud on her cheek. She smiled at it, then looked back at Bulk Biceps.

She stifled a giggle at his muck-covered face.

“I want… Would you...” was all he managed to say before his throat constricted and his voice left him again.

Fluttershy quirked an eyebrow. “Um… Mr. Biceps, are you…” she blushed a deep crimson, “...asking me on a date?”


Fluttershy shut her eyes as the force of his voice blew her ears, mane, and tail back. “Oh my, you’re so… enthusiastic,” she muttered. She took a moment to adjust her the flower bud in her ears, smoothed her mane, then turned to him. She couldn’t look at him, instead she looked at the ground between them. “I’m sorry, I can’t go on a date with you tonight.”

“No?” he asked. His voice sounded tiny, as if from a colt. “Um, how about tomorrow?” he asked. His voice held a tiny glimmer of hope. Fluttershy looked up and their eyes met. He smiled. She frowned. His smile faltered, and he felt a weight settle onto his back that pressed down on him with far more force than any barbell.

“No, I’m sorry, but I’m busy tomorrow.”

“Oh…” he said, as his shoulders drooped. He looked like a melting wax candle. “You’re probably busy the next day too.” His eyes slid down, while mud dripped off of his face.

“Oh, yes, actually I am. I’m glad you understand,” Fluttershy replied with a smile. She ducked her head to better see his expression. “Um, are you alright? You look so sad.”

“I’m fine,” he said with a shake of his head. “I’ll… just leave you alone. Excuse me, I’ve got something in my eye.” He looked away, and wouldn’t meet her gaze.

“Why don’t we meet for tea the day after?” she asked innocently.

“Wut?” he replied, dumbly. “You’re… not busy on Monday?” he looked up and met her gaze. He didn’t blink, as if she would vanish in an instant if he did. His red eyes bored into her.

She gulped and replied, “No, I’m not. Um, we could have tea at the Green Leaf, if that’s okay with you?”

He nodded slowly. “O-of course! I’ll treat you. Should we meet there at sundown?” His heart soared, he could hardly believe his luck.

She nodded. “It’s a date,” she said with a smile. Suddenly, she blushed, frowned, and looked down. “I-if that’s okay with you.”

“YEAH!” He cleared his throat and replied, “I mean, yeah, that would be great,” he said airily. “I’ll see you then…” he mumbled. His eyes glazed over, and a stupid grin appeared on his muck-covered face. He fluttered his wings, and he drifted away, like a giant, white, plastic bag caught in an errant wind.

“Um, I’ll see you then,” Fluttershy mumbled after him. She watched him vanish over the hill with a weak smile.

“FLUTTERSHY!” Rarity called, trotting up behind her.

Fluttershy squeaked yet again. She blew out a sigh to calm herself. “Why does everypony sneak up on me like that?” she mumbled to herself. She turned and smiled. “Hello Rarity, are you—”

“Out of your mind?!” Rarity said, as she came to a halt with a stomp of her hind hoof, leaving a deep print in the mud. Glancing down at her own hooves, she sneered at them. “Why are you standing here in this mud? Never mind that, why are you cavorting with… with… THAT!” she said, pointing in the direction Bulk Biceps went. “Dirt on the outside is one thing, but this! He’s… he’s so—”

“—Nice?” Fluttershy said, although her tone sounded more like a question than a statement.

“Excuse me? Do you remember the last time you… interacted with him?” Rarity said, aghast.

Fluttershy nodded as an emerald-colored dragonfly darted between them. “I do. He seemed nice then, as well.”

Rarity stomped a hoof in the mud again. “He’s just a filthy stallion, and he only wants one thing. I heard the end of your little conversation. How could you agree to a date with that… that…” The dragonfly hovered over the water for a moment, wings buzzing madly. Without warning, a speckled trout burst out of the lake and swallowed the dragonfly in one bite. The fish returned to the depths, all in the span of an eyeblink. “Albino!”

Fluttershy tilted her head at Rarity. “But Rarity, aren’t you albino?”

“Argh, not this again!” Rarity cried. “Don’t you remember what I said last time?”


Before the Equestria Games…

“Fluttershy, darling, I need to take your measurements for the new uniform,” Rarity called. She didn’t know the name of the massive, albino stallion paired with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash for the games, but she found him near Fluttershy constantly. And his red eyes followed her everywhere. Rarity was acutely aware of the the gaze of ponies, stallions in particular. The left side of Rarity’s mouth twitched while she watched him.

“Don’t you already have my measurements?” Fluttershy asked with a little blush.

“They might have changed since I last took them. Come along now,” Rarity replied, beckoning. With a shrug, Fluttershy hopped off the barbell and fluttered away, like a leaf on the wind. “Um, good job, Mr. Biceps. Keep up the good work!” she called over her shoulder.

The two mares made their way past a few other Ponyville teams towards the mare’s sleeping car. Everypony focused on training hard, but Rarity’s lustrous mane still turned a few heads. She batted her eyes at Thunderlane when they brushed by him. He grinned at Rarity as she glided by, in her element. Once they entered the private car and closed the door, Rarity snorted. “You’d best keep your distance from that one, Fluttershy. I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

“Who? Bulk Biceps? He’s a nice stallion, and he’s harmless, don’t you think?” Fluttershy asked. Rarity snagged a pin cushion, measuring tape, a dull pencil, and a notepad in her aura from one of her many, many pieces of luggage. All of the items hovered around her, like feathers around a peacock. She looked at Fluttershy with a critical eye.

A shiver ran down Fluttershy’s spine. She didn’t like to be looked at by a large number of eyes, but at the moment, Rarity’s eyes felt as if they looked at her from a million directions all at once. “Stallions can be dangerous, darling,” she said quietly. “Especially stallions that can’t control themselves.”

The measuring tape ran from Fluttershy’s withers to her forehoof. She tilted her head and asked, “Can’t control himself? What do you mean, Rarity?”

Rarity’s magic grabbed Fluttershy’s head and head her upright. “Hold still, darling,” Rarity said, as the measuring tape wrapped around Fluttershy’s neck and tightened in Rarity’s aura. “I just don’t want you to fall in with a rough sort of stallion like Bulk Biceps.” Rarity’s voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “Rumor has it he takes steroids, and you know what that can do to a pony.”

Fluttershy gasped past the measuring tape around her throat. “No, what can they do?”

They were the only two beings in the train car, but Rarity still leaned closer to Fluttershy, and whispered into her ear. “Steroids can make a pony crazy if you take too much. They can shrink a stallion’s you-know-what and make them violently aggressive. They can become raging maniacs. You don’t want to get involved with a stallion like that do you?”

“Um…” Fluttershy chewed her lower lip. “I don’t know if I should listen to rumors. Remember Gabby—”

Rarity silenced Fluttershy by tugging on the measuring tape around her neck. “Yes-yes, I remember. But what about his… condition?”

Rarity released the measuring tape after making a few notes. Fluttershy took a deep breath as a bit of color returned to her cheeks. “What condition?” Fluttershy asked. She dared not move as Rarity wrapped the tape around her barrel.

“He’s an albino. I always thought they were a bit shady,” Rarity said with a firm nod of her head.

Fluttershy glanced at the odds and ends Rarity had unpacked the previous day. On her rumpled bed, there were eyelash curlers, compacts, lipstick, horseshoes, pots, potions, and more. A couple of novels caught her eye. They sat on the nightstand, the second with a bookmark halfway through it. The spines bore the titles “The Invisible Mare” and “The Da Vinci Codex.” Fluttershy had read neither, but Rarity liked to read before bed, and these looked to be her latest reads.

“I thought albino meant they weren’t shady at all. I thought it meant they were all white. Does that mean you’re albino?” Fluttershy asked.

Rarity let out gasp and dropped the measuring tape and pencil. Gathering them up again, she replied, “I most certainly am not! Look at my eyes, sparkling blue, yes?” Fluttershy didn’t see any sparkles, but Rarity’s irises were blue. “Now what eye color does Bulk Biceps have, hmmm?” Rarity asked with a knowing smirk.

“Um… red?” Fluttershy replied tentatively.

“YES!” Rarity said, giving Biceps a run for his money. “That’s right, red! That’s a sign of albinism!” she said with triumph.

Fluttershy blinked and nodded. “Oh… I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am, darling,” Rarity said, beaming.

“So what?” Fluttershy asked with a little tilt of her head.

Rarity scoffed. “So what?! So he’s… he’s…” like a light bulb breaking a filament, Rarity faltered. “He’s… different, yes, different!” she stomped a hoof to drive her point home. She floated a bolt of cloth from yet another suitcase and pinned several folds into it. “I don’t want any of my friends getting involved with a pony who isn’t one-hundred percent, inside and out.”

Fluttershy hung her head. “So… he’s wrong on the inside because he’s all white with red eyes on the outside? Rarity… don’t you think that’s a shallow way of thinking?”

“B-but he’s… shifty!” Rarity cried, flailing both her forelimbs and her logic. “Please, Fluttershy, there’s plenty of handsome stallions out there. Finish the Equestria Games and forget about Bulk Biceps. You’re the Element of Kindness, you deserve the best specimen ponykind has to offer.”

Fluttershy looked down. “I don’t know…”


Back in the present…

“...And I still don’t know about him,” Fluttershy replied. “I remember what you said, Rarity. I just… think it would be cruel to turn him down.”

Rarity brightened up instantly. “Oh! I see, this is just a pity date! I must say, all’s fair in love and war. You don’t have to spend any more time with him after this little faux date. At least you’ll get a decent meal out of it. Try not to break his heart into tiny pieces afterwards.” Rarity said with a sigh.

Fluttershy gasped, “Rarity, why would I do that?”

Rarity quirked an eyebrow. “Because you have to cleanly break this infatuation he has for you. You don’t want any ambiguity. This isn’t the time for you to be overly kind. Could you imagine what it would be like for somepony to love you, but you never said anything about it?”

Fluttershy blushed and said, “But Rarity, what about Sp—”

“Stop worrying about me, you need to look after yourself. You can’t just lead him on like this.” Rarity looked out the window, into the distance, instead of Fluttershy as she spoke.

Fluttershy looked down. “That seems… cruel.”

Rarity pupils narrowed as she looked at Fluttershy and snorted. “It’s better than he deserves. I watched him sneak up on you in the cattails, which makes him a stalker. Hopefully he just wants a little attention from you, then he’ll go away. Otherwise we’re going to have to take some drastic measures.” Rarity nodded, as if Fluttershy had simply agreed with her.

Fluttershy looked down and allowed her mane to hide her face. “It isn’t a pity date,” she mumbled under her breath.

Rarity smiled, then giggled. “This is going to be perfect, I think you need a new dress for this event. Something to really draw the eye.” And it’ll be easier to follow you if you’re wearing something flashy, she thought, as she looked Fluttershy up and down. “I’m going to need to take some measurements.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Um, I’m a little busy today. I don’t think—”

“Come along now. You can read one of my favorite novels while you wait,” Rarity said, as she grabbed the sputtering Fluttershy and dragged her to Carousel Boutique.


Thunder rolled across the town following the rain. Thick sheets of the stuff splattered down relentlessly. Everypony stayed indoors this night, with few exceptions, because the schedule called for heavy rain. The Everfree Forest decided to add the thunder to the mix at the last minute, creating a miserable night for anypony watching.

“This is the worst, possible, thing,” Rarity muttered darkly. Spying on Bulk Biceps wasn’t her most noble idea, but she’d never let anypony hurt Fluttershy. She stood in the shadows of an alley across the street from Bicep’s house, watching from under the brim of her hat. At least I had the foresight to wear something appropriate for this weather, Rarity thought to herself. She wore a tan rain slicker with a matching hat. Without it, the rain would have made short work of her meticulously stylized mane. However, the cold seeping into her coat made her want to quit this adventure.

Shivering, Rarity turned away from Bicep’s house, only to do a double take. A ghostly, equine form glided through the rain across the street and went right up to Bicep’s door. Rarity crouched deeper into the shadows and held her breath. “Oh ho, what’s this?” Rarity mumbled, her eyes unblinking at the sight.


Rarity watched as the door opened, spilling light into the street. Bulk Biceps stood in the rectangle of warm light, his massive silhouette unmistakable. The pony on the stoop appeared to be a white mare, with unkempt blue hair. Rarity couldn’t see her face, but once she spoke, Rarity could all but see the tears. Her voice had a particular, manipulative quality to it. Rarity knew it well, because she used it on occasion.

“I need some help, big guy,” the white mare said. Rarity strained to hear through the sound of the raindrops.

“I don’t have a spare room, or any spare bits,” he replied. His eyes looked hard and intense. The rest of him just an amorphous shadow.

“We can sleep together, just like old times,” the mare said casually.

“WHAT?!” Rarity whispered harshly. “It’s inappropriate for a single stallion and mare to be sleeping together like that… one thing leads to another and… he couldn’t… he just asked Fluttershy to a date…” Rarity watched the two ponies across the street with laser-like focus.

“I don’t know…” Biceps replied.

“C’mon, you know you can’t say no to me,” the mare said sweetly. She leaned in and gave him a wet, rain-soaked hug and a kiss on the cheek. “You owe me, especially after what I’ve done for you. You can’t deny it felt pretty good, right?”

“Felt good?” Rarity mumbled under her hat. “What’s this mare done for you, Mr. Biceps?”

Bulk Biceps heaved a sigh and said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“And you love me, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, of course I do,” Bulk Biceps answered. “It’s just…”

Rarity’s stomach felt as if it would drop into her hooves. “How can he ask Fluttershy on a date when his heart is given to another? He’s… he’s just a no good philandering pig! I’ll have to put a stop to this, for Fluttershy…” She had to keep her voice quiet while the gears in her head worked in overtime.

“Re-lax, big guy, I won’t cramp your style, I promise. You don’t have a special somepony over right now, do you?”

“No,” he said, and shook his head. The white mare giggled.

The two ponies disappeared inside, closing the door behind them, as Rarity’s mouth fell open. “And Fluttershy won’t be your special somepony, Mr. Biceps. Not if I have anything to say about it.”


Three days later…

“YEAH!” Bulk Biceps yelled at himself. Standing in front of the full length mirror in his bedroom, he flexed and put on his plastic smile. He tried to look friendly and jovial, but most ponies would agree his smile held a certain… ‘axe-crazy’ quality. The red eyes did him no favors either.

Glaring at his own reflection he lifted his chiseled chin and looked down at himself. Massive pectoral muscles rippled under an alabaster coat, and tiny wings fluttered on his back. With a snort, he nodded at himself in the mirror. “Okay! It’s show time!” he shouted at himself.

He licked his hoof and used it to slick his mane back one more time. He tightened the plaid necktie around his throat and smoothed the blade. It rested above his massive pectoral muscles instead of gently draping down, but his thick neck took up the rest of the tie’s length. Sweat beaded on his brow. With a ragged intake of breath, he stared at his reflection. His thick brow looked like the cherry on top of this mountain of muscle. “Remember, don’t yell all the time,” he whispered, almost too quietly to hear. “But don’t sound nervous, be confident!” he shouted at the mirror.

He wiped the sweat off his brow and said to himself, “There’s nothing to worry about.” He snagged his old bowler hat off the nightstand, flopped it on his head, and exited his bedroom.

A loud, rumbling snore echoed from the couch in the living room. The town-home of Bulk Biceps was modest by any standard, and cramped by most. Stuck in an old, blue collar neighborhood of downtown Ponyville, and designed for a single occupant, it size made Bulk Biceps look comically large in comparison. His furniture felt worn, his decorations sparse, his pantry usually empty, and his couch was under constant threat of braking under his weight. The mare on his couch had no such threats.

“See you later, beautiful,” Biceps whispered.

“Mmmhmmm?” The mare stirred and sat up. A wild, electric blue mane with bed head, greeted him. The mare’s white coat matched his own. With a groan, the mare rubbed her eyes with a hoof and fumbled for her glasses with the other. Bulk Biceps picked up the rose tinted specs, and slipped them over her eyes. “Mmmmm… thanks,” she said, her voice raspy with sleep.

“Last night was fun, but I don’t think you can stay here,” Biceps said with a forced smile. “This stallion needs what little space he’s got.”

“Hey, it’s okay, Vinyl Scratch knows when she’s not wanted,” she replied, yawning. “Looks like it’s getting late, time to get out there and shake my money-maker; gotta bring in those bits, right?”

“You’re not unwanted,” Biceps replied. He wrapped his massive forelimbs around her.

“Uh-huh,” Vinyl Scratch mumbled. “I had fun last night too, but I still didn’t get a kiss.” Biceps smirked and rolled his eyes. Vinyl fished for affection without subtlety. He leaned closer and smothered her cheek and neck with kisses. She giggled the entire time. “That tickles!”

“I love you, Vinyl Scratch,” he said gently.

She sighed and nodded. “Don’t you have a date to get to? Gotta share that love, yeah?” she said with a snicker.

He glanced at the clock and gasped. “You’re right! Gotta go!” he said as he started for the door.

“Um, I kinda need those bits, like, right now,” Scratch called out.

“Oh yeah, sorry, I almost forgot.” Bulk Biceps galloped into his bedroom and returned with an envelope. “There you go, that should be enough.” He galloped out the door.

Vinyl shook her head at the front door as it closed. She tore open the envelop and looked inside, jiggling the contents. Several bits clinked together. She shook her head and mumbled, “Goddess, how blind ponies can be sometimes.”