This chapter was awesome! Nice Work!

i like the way the store is heading. i really hope to see some really hard choices to be made for when those four ponies have to leave.

really great chapter and awesome story and I think them finding the "wonders" of our world is realy funny

This chapter was hilarious, especially the groin attack, the Molestia incident, and the girls' excitement about Derrick being a baker.

Every time they ask if they should heal him this guy comes to mind
bbsimg.ngfiles.com/15/20381000/ngbbs4b0b4275ae728.jpg
Anyway nice lol inducing chaper cant wait for more.

it's always the balls X_X

Wow, Twilight is so unfamiliar with the concept of romance that its like she doesn't understand it

This was great.

Loved the part when Celestia acted like a Filly. It was hilarious XD

Always below the belt. Ouch! Also we know Tia loves cake, but wow! I'm looking forward to more.

5919252 well...wait till Twilight discovers the Internet...

This was a great chapter and made me laugh a lot.

5919901 oh god... nan i'm kidding let the dark side of the internet come alive. if you know what i mean?

Oh lordy luu, this won't end well.
I think DJ is, overreacting a bit in the first parts... but that's just me talkin.
Ouch, nutbuster! XD haha

And dang, Celly and your obession with cake... nice.

Aside from some spelling errors, this was a nice chapter, good going man! :D
Keep it up!

(Or some crazy bitch broke into my house to make me breakfast.)

HA HA please continue this story it's starting to sound hilarious

im talking about your

Capital "I" and apostrophe is needed

A few seconds later I saw Celestia ninja grab her away from the window comicly.

favorite line right here!

Please, continue.

5919901 Oh God, if she finds Wikipedia she'll never sleep again

MOAR NAO !!!!!

Oh I'm following this story

DJ just saw a glimpse of Molestia

MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

6006917 I AGREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

One of two things could happen when they take their first drink of cola.
1. Addiction.
2. Sugar rush.
Or maybe both. Truthfully the first one happened to me and I regret nothing!

Once twilight discovers the internet, she will never leave... That is until she also, to her misfortune, discovers all the naughty pics of her and her friends and I can't wait until cadence finds dating sites. Also my favorite parts when he said that maybe a crazy bitch broke into her house to cook breakfast,
their discussion about erections and the whole Molestia part.Well now I'm rambling, so I'll cut to the chase, good job, you sir have a favorite! I'd love for you to keep it up and I can't wait for more. Ps: if you're in need of an editor I'd be delighted to assist in your literary efforts.

Ok heres the thing........... THESE PONIES IN THIS FIC ARE NOT HERBIVORES!! You CANNOT be a herbivore it you eat meat at all. It DOESNT matter what kind it is, if you eat meat, your either an omnivore or carnivore. And let me tell you something FISH IS MEAT. That fact really tics me off in fic's, where the author is like, "Yeah we eat fish but were herbivores" Errr no, you're not. What you are is an omnivore with you siding to herbivore side more, but your still an omnivore, end of.

And seriously this guy has a potty mouth. But he really didn't get over the fact, that they are talking ponies and stuff too quickly in my opinion. But its your fic, so yeah.

But its still ok so far, no where near the worst i've read, but not the best either. But thats just me, so...... yeah

6098520 Meats are just proteins I don't classify fish as meat, but as a protein. That would be the same as saying they can't eat nuts really. Besides, it probably helps the story development along or something. Better than this gta crossover I read a while back where they ate bacon like it was nothing. It can always get worse I always say.

I'm laughing to death

We know Celestia never had singlecolored pink mane. Even with zero magic she had her normal colorful mane.

There's so much "fuck" in this story that's it's escalting into an M rated story.

"You know... They say the quickest way to a stallion's heart is through his stomach..." Cadence mentioned.

Nope, it's a knife through the ribs.

"Sh...should I kiss it to make it better?" She asked seriously. Then everyone in the room immediately deadpanned, including me. Cadence looked around cluelessely.

My reaction:

Hmm, thanks, ill be going to read a hie cadance romance story after this And this is pretty neat too!

6232606 4k tv? You rich sonofabich.

Are you trying to kill me?

So far, it is to much hillarious !! X'D
I love that fic !

And it's fun like every human heros in fictions have an xbox.
Why not a Wii or a Playstation ? XD
Patriotism ? :P

This is really strange. What if all that crap yesterday was just a dream? What if they werent really here? I quickly stretched and left my room, walking down the hallway and coming down the stairs.

You are missing that weird line before the "t".

"Yes, im talking about your fucking rainbow hair that flows in nonexistent wind!" I snap. She fixates me with a look I honestly can't read then starts to snicker.

I think you mean "I´m" here.

I grab the remote and glance up at my TV hanging on the wall a short distance from my couch. It's a 4k TV that I forgot the dimensions of and its just another thing I bought because I have no clue what to do with all the extra money I have now. I turn on the tv and it sparks to life.

This should be written capitalized like it´s done in the rest of the chapter.

"Its called a TV. Its a human entertainment device..." I said as I stand up and look through my games. I have pretty much any action game out on Xbox one right now. I decide to play Battlefield 4 because I feel like blowing stuff up. Celestia stays silent as I grab my controller and sit back in my seat. The game hits the title screen and I stop because I feel a disturbamce in my personal space. Then 2 pink hooves slowly wrapped around my neck, making me jump.

Both of them should be "It´s".
Xbox One
Normally you write numbers up to twelve out. You did this mistake throughout this chapter, but I didn´t mark all of them.

"Good morning..." She said as she leaned In and...rubbed her face into my cheek, making me squirm and push her away.

That should be written small.

"Could you please wake Luna up for me? Her breakfast is ready.." She asked kindly.

You are missing the third dot there.

"Sh...sh...we know...we know..." She said In a motherlike tone....a tone that disappeared completely when The rest of the girls came into the room to investigate.

That should be also written small.

"Derrick what happened?!?" She shreiked as she ran over to me, accidentally knocking Luna away.

I think you meant to say "shrieked".

"That was MEAT???!" Cadence shreiked, almost falling out of her chair.

And again.

"I'd say they were fairly good too. Some of the neighbors used to buy them from me, Especially my Double Decker Fudge Chocolate cakes..." I add.

That should be written small.

"Girls?" Why is she being weird?" I asked awkwardly, pointing to her as Celestia slowly steps closer, looking like she's about to fucking molest me. Luna sighed then got up from the table. She walks in front of Celestia and blocks her.

Is the quotation mark behind the "Girls?" supposed to be there? Because when that is the reason that is wrong. You could potentially do one before the question mark and a second one after the first one right at the beginning to mark that it´s a quote. It would look really strange, but it would be a possibility.

"Uh....ok. So I'll buy some cake mix, But what kind should I get?" I ask.

That should be written small.

"Alright, I'm gonna shower and stuff..." I muttered as I walked past them and up the stairs. I'll just take a quick shower and swing by Walmart or something. I also need to hit up a burger joint, because they might be cool with the fact that I eat Meat but I don't want them puking on the floor when I decide to fry some bacon.

That should be written small again.

"Actully it Kind of is... Do you know any stallions back home that can bake?" Cadence asks with a giggle, as she stares into the sky with a dreamy expression.

That should be also written small.

On an other note: I find it weird that Celestia didn´t question DJ why he is playing Battlefield 4. Also Donut Joe can bake and he isn´t officially married. Still liked the chapter.

~when Celestia went all coo coo for cake
I died laughing
10/10

Anthor funny and awesome chapter it also had cringeing fromwhat happend to his balls
.

"Hello crazy ponies, here's some liquid sugar! Enjoy!"
Yeah, fun times ahead

"CHOCOLATE!" Celestia erupts

Couldn't resist

Oh god this was so funny. Love it so much, god poor dud and what a clueless Twilight.

Dude, are you trying to kill me?! Seriously, I was laughing so hard like a hyena I thought I almost saw the Grim Reaper himself!

So... What? Three out of four leading princesses have xenophilia? I mean I could understand one of them but Cadence is taken. If you read the comics, she's been seeing Shining Armor since she was still in high school (or the equivalent thereof). Then again there's funny and amusing enough moments amongst the wish fulfillment to be worth the read.

6487344
No, all Three Princess like him. Twilight hasn't ascended yet here.

man bet noone expect celestia you act like a child about to open their Christmas presents

6487344 I think the disclaimer/note in the description said Shining wasn't with Cadence in this alternate universe.

I'm gonna be the downer here, and I'll understand if I get dislikes. But, quite honestly, could he not swear so much, or calls the girls bitches? I get he's a foul mouthed adolescent, but...sort of turn it down a bit

6636194 I agree here