Intro:Let's go outside! Outside is good!
Deep within the badlands, the changelings built the center of their empire. A marvelous castle of black marble built inside the stone where the changelings burrowed and built their homes. In its gates stood two statues made from stone combined with changeling magic that made them take the shapes of the current Queen and King. Walls of stone hugged the exterior, teal banners of tattered silver wings adorned the embrasures. The crest of her majesty Queen Chrysalis promised safety to all changelings, as well as food and peace, within its fortified walls.
Too bad Princess Sky wanted out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Come now mother. How much longer are we going to stay inside? It's been like... 4 months? I'm getting sick of this place!" her knee twitched a bit, the crown on her carnation pink mane shaking along with it, as she complained.
"Absolutely not! It's winter and I won't have my only daughter die from the frost the ponies let drift our way! It was only a week ago that we managed to clean up the gorge," Chrysalis replied sharply. She adjusted the sleeves of her teal and black silken dress. She shifted in her teal stone throne, trying to get more comfortable, and glanced to the throne next to her, prompting her husband to help.
"Ao aren't you going to say something?" she inquired. The King's blew a strand of his silver mane, and proceeded to roll his eyes at his wife's request for aid. Sky however took the word once again, keeping the pressure up.
"But look on the bright side, we had snow! I got to play with all my friends, made a snowling too. It was fun! You really should have joined us... I wanted to go skiing too. I want to get some fresh air, see new places!" Her big pink eyes watered as she puckered her cheeks and pouted her lips. The King chuckled a bit, admiring his daughter's attempts to fool her mother. It was a nice trick, and though the attempt was executed admirably, it wasn't going to work.
"For the last time, Sky, I told you I cannot let you out until spring comes!" The Queen descended from her throne and, with a low buzz of her wings, glided to her daughter. She sat on her haunches in front of her and extended a hoof to caress her mane. The Princess, with a mix of guilt and frustration, didn't look at her mother directly, but she did nothing to push her soft caress away.
"I know... I'm paranoid, I'm crazy, and sometimes I'm hard to deal with," she sighed. "...But I'm afraid being your mother is an irrevocable position. Not that I'd want to." The King sat up from his throne and trotted on the black and gold carpet, not wanting his crown to slip. He scratched the black V his white and blue uniform made on his chest.
"Come now Sky, it's only a few more weeks before spring comes." The Princess tried to smile at her father's words.
"Yeah, if those ponies don't get lazy again and have snow drifting off here and there..." Chrysalis murmured, huffing afterwards.
"Chryssie, you know as well as I do that we can take care of the weather as well should we wish to. We aren't incompetent..." started Ao.
"...unlike the ponies..." Chrysalis interjected. The Princess lowered her eyes, eliciting to remaining silent at her mother's words.
"... and we certainly don't need to blame everything on them!" Ao's voice rose in frustration. He was glad court had ended, and the guards were excused from the room for the day.
"What? Just stating facts!" came Chrysalis's response.
"Then how do you explain my foster parents?" The King and his brother had been two of several changelings to grow up in pony households to take refuge from a civil war that occurred back home twenty years ago.
"Coincidence, and you know it!" the Queen jerked her head, baring her fangs, as she glared thunders at him "You became strong because of US!" she stomped her hoof down echoing lightly through the room.
"Or maybe I'm just better by having learned from both. Nobody's perfect!" The Queen humphed and turned to her daughter, who was practically cowering . She wasn't just retreating from the Queen, but from the couple itself. She didn't like them arguing, and her movements were instinctive, having witnessed similar arguments previously.
"Maybe we do need to get outside..." said Chrysalis, frowning at what their argument had caused. "Tell you what. I'll humor both of you..." Both princess and king turned their heads towards her, ears perked and all. Satisfied that she had their attention she addressed them both with a smile.
"I'll give you the chance to show me how the ponies made you who you are. One chance only... If I don't get a satisfactory answer you'll admit I'm right. As for you, my daughter, I'll allow one trip wherever you wish. But no complaints if you don't like it, you hear? You choose, you lose."
"Actually, I have an idea how to handle both issues." Ao stroked his chin in thought.
"Oh?" The Queen cocked a brow curiously "What destination would you choose?"
"Los Pegasus." Chrysalis blinked twice and shook her head. Was she hearing well? He just had proposed his birthplace, wait a minute... Sky gasped as she hugged her father, her mood shifting to excitement in a typical teenage mood shift.
"You... are you sure?" Chrysalis stammered.
"Yep! Calling out your bluff Missy! You got nothing, and this way I'm going to prove it. This trip will seal the deal."
"Challenge accepted," said the Queen, narrowing her eyes while smiling at him. She approached father and daughter, draping a wing over the latter, Sky's radiating emotions affecting the Queen as well. In truth Sky could barely contain her excitement, though the reason eluded the queen. Chrysalis was granted a kiss from her husband as he placed a hoof on his daughter, running it through her mane.
"I swear, I'll make this the best trip you've ever had."
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Very quick way to set up your setting for the story. I am interested to see how Luna will play into this.
5892146 Oh when Luna there will be some BIG revelations. Like... really big. I'm spoiling nothing. :P
5892189 You sound like the guy I edit for.
5892245 I dont follow. Anyways Luna is kind of expected since she is the Princess of the Night.
5892386 I can't get spoilers out of him either.
Interesting start, look forward to where it goes
5893319
5892440 Well you're both gonna see soon.
Good start to a story. The character interaction was nice, though the characters themselves seemed like they were missing something. What it is, I don't know. They just seem a little off to me. Nice back story on Ao, I'd love to see how he turns out. As for the descriptions, they were perfect! Not too much to be distracting, but not so few that I didn't know what anything looked like. It was descriptive, and wonderfully so. There wasn't anything in here that threw me for a loop, or made it hard to continue. Minor punctuation missing here and there, mostly a comma or two, but well done.
There is one thing I would like to bring up:
In its gates stood two statues made from stone combined with changeling magic that made them take the shapes of the current Queen and King.
In its gates stood two statues made from stone fused with changeling magic that would reshape themselves into the forms of the current Queen and King.
Other than that, this was a great story! I'll be watching this with an eager eye!
5898162 Do not worry the first three chapters will feature characterization for all our protagonists in this fic. You shall learn more about Ao, more about why Princess Sky was cowering from the couple while they were fighting ((she had seen this before)), and you shall learn more about Chrysalis and maybe even the reason she attacked Canterlot.
Or the reason she failed in Canterlot.
There will be also a bit of romance as King and Queen remember the past. There's a lot of things heart-warming, bitter, and cute. Know that this family hasn't always been on the best terms with each other. Every family has its' own secrets, its' own troubles.
Don't hesitate to point out comma errors e.t.c. In any case this was merely the intro. I have planned at least 4 chapters ahead in my mind each shall be similar if not greater length.
5898258 That's the best kind of story, one that everything doesn't go the way they expect. And I would love to see chapters longer than this, it would give me more.
5898285 Next chapter is 1600 words approx. Anyways on with the writing!
I may have found a typo.
day. I know you said you would edit this chapter later just thought I would mention this in case you didn't notice.
As for this chapter I really enjoyed it.
Interesting beginning. i like your descriptions of this Changeling empire and their inner workings. The set up is quite interesting and the introduction of King Ao as the antithesis to Queen Chrysalis was a quaint addition. Sky sounds very interesting and quite like a teenager wanting to explore outside the boundries of her kingdom. "She wants adventure in the great wide somewhere" (umm sir, this somewhere has a name) *quiet! He's having a Disney princess moment*
Well that was odd. Anyway great introductory chapter. Can't wait to see what the next one has in store.
“Everything's a gamble, love most of all.”
― Tess Gerritsen, The Sinner
I enjoyed this intro and I hope to enjoy the rest of this story.
Hmm, is there a story prior to this one cause I feel like I need to read them to know what's going on?
Hmm, interesting start. I wonder if the trip will change Chryssie's opinion.