I came to them with a good heart.
And they broken it by what I look like and called me a monster.
so I'll give them one and make them regret that day.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 1st Mar, 2015
- offline last seen Mar 6th, 2020
Castok the Shadow
Humans... Humans everywhere
Castok the Shadow
Joined 1st Mar, 2015 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Castok the Shadow · 85k words · 574 79 · 15k views
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I'm not going to judge nothing. But you had better have a sequel planed for this it was great.
5870894 Maybe... If people wants a sequel then I'll make one soon. But only if they want one
5871137 I know it's been done, but perhaps an alternate path in the story in which Luna believes the human?
5872141 mmm.... maybe not. However that idea might be good. But perhaps.... Its a 50/50
5872141
Or even, human goes to Canterlot and confronts Luna about the nightmares and such.
5872483 But how judged the human first and attacked?
There has to be a sequel to this. I really wanna see the ponies get what they deserve for their xenophobic arrogance.
5872493
He has Elemental Bending on his side. Assuming it works like Avatar, it would be pretty safe to assume the human would be fine against civilians, nobles at that. The guard I don't think would pose too much of a threat either, if he had his Everfree friends on his side for assistance.
The only real problem he would have is if he were to bump into any princesses and/or the Mane 6.
a sequel is needed!
5872539 gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/indeed-harry-potter.gif
So if the Mc has Avator-ish powers, then the Earth ponies can probably detect him because of their connection to Earth. Probably by sensing disturbances. Then again, such disturbances can be used by the MC to send messages.
I do have to ask a few things.
Is the planet sentient?
If so, then whose side is it on? ( I suspect neutral)
If a sequel is written, will the ponies learn that their xenophobia has created an enemy?
5872948 yes by growing farms. But HE is a human which means he can do more then grow crops hehehe
A sequel would be amazing.
5873013 Luna shouldn't be able to read human minds? One, we are aliens and two, the stuff in our heads would send the Princess into a comatose state!
I'm going to sound like a douche, but fuck it.
This needs more down-votes. 29 likes? Seriously?
Maybe other people don't mind horrible, horrible grammar, but liking a story this poorly worded?
The fuck?! This isn't quality, asking for a sequel from the guy is also going to encourage him to write like this rather. Fucking critique him and help him improve. The story itself is a nice idea, but my G-d you move way too fast. For everything that happened within you could have probably written up to 6000 words. A measly 1600 is not going to cut it for the type of story you're trying to set here. But for the love of G-d, please edit your shit.
Maybe you're not a native English speaker, then fine, you have an excuse, barring that, there's no way you actually speak the same way as you just wrote this. Please, PLEASE improve upon your writing or get an editor who'd be willing to deal with it. Again, you have a solid idea, just work on your actual understanding of English.
5873545
5873671
........ Not sure if you're saying you're foreign or not.
Since I have no idea how to respond I'm going to put up the image I use when I don't know how to respond. That, and it's like 4 AM here and I haven't slept for approximately two days.
new2.fjcdn.com/comments/Is+this+real+is+this+an+anime+_4a428a91bc13ab22999d934853b2f421.png
5873683
5873459
. However as you are the ones that wants it, I would like some ideas.
5873117
5870894
5872141
5872495
5872539
5872881people who wants a sequel hear me out. I have been reading your comments and I am now thinking of... making the sequel
Do you want the human to be a villain or a anti-hero or even the one that goes to war with this judgement world?
Do you want new creatures to help him fight?
Do want the element to have a form of its own? Like earth being a tall, strong giant or the fire as a anger rage demon
Linking to this, would using the elements change the human's personality while using it?
And finally do you want the human to ally with other villains or new OCs to fight with him.
Let me know
5873888 i think the human should be a anti-hero because the whole ''the ponies wronged me in some wayb so i shall go to war/kill them all'' thing has been done alot. maybe have the human go and confront Luna who has been filling the humans dreams with nightmares. and if there is a super evil threat that plans to destroy every thing maybe have the human stop it, because after all the human would not want to have his animal friends hurt right?
You cut it off too early.
5873975 thinking of making sequel
5873905 interesting. like the idea but what about the elements? Should they be sentient or not?
5873987 nah thats also done alot, maybe have them some what sentient like not enough to talk but enough to have feelings
5873905 NO!!!
its not Evil i they deserve it!
5874012 i never said it was evil just that it had been done alot and they do kind of deserve it for attacking him but it was only the mane six that attacked him the other ponies of ponyville just call him beast and monster and hid from him (and Luna gave him Nightmares) i don't really think you should attack the whole race because of what a few ponies did. if they all started hunting him (as in the whole race) then they all deserve it (except the children)
5874035 but they all called him a monster, so they all deserve it
5873888 For elements, there should be forms, but also emotions. For example, fire = rage.
Also, maybe Discord could see the beauty inside him?
EDIT: Maybe like the color wheel...
Red, Blue, Green.
Fire, Water, Earth.
Rage, Sad, Happy.
This would also make mixtures, like Tearful Rage.
5874043 so if i walk up to some one and say ''your a monster'' i deserve to die?
5873013 And I suppose he conveniently has all the skills and equipment to manufacture an atom bomb?
Seriously, most of you wouldn't even stand a chance in hell against me on a bad day. The ponies have tussled with a god of chaos and won. Your sort are nothing.
Not to mention, why on earth would the ponies be freaked out by a thin, hairless ape-like creature that looks like a severely deformed small minotaur?
They'd probably pity the hideous thing. Maybe ask if it wanted to be put out of its misery.
5874447 wow I... I just... wow
5874501
Just ignore him. He appears in comments to such fics all the time.
5874967 noticed
Are there other stories where the human becomes an ally to the indigenous population of the Everfree? I can't find anything.
5875997 this is one of them
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/248527/a-new-me
5876221 Hm..how did I miss this? Damn you Google.
There's no such thing as a perfect world. Every single world with life has their flaws.
5874043 Under that logic the world should be a wasteland because there are some terrorists in it.
5878616
Will This character Have Hypnophobia in the sequel?
Because 5 years sleeping the same nightmares must not be Healthy in a psychological way
5879267 parhaps
5879293 Man really?
I would never endurance 5 YEARS OF TOTAL NIGHTMARES every night
In my opinion that would't be possible
5879323 you'll have to wait for the sequel
Which is just coming out very soon
5879462
YAAY
5879472 indeed
5873983 Go for it man.
We've got the conclusion or perhaps a full story then. 
5879513 Bravo! Also may I ask a question? Will there be POV for the ponies and what they thought when they chased him out?
5890679 Yeah it going to be both side of the story (If the dam people moderation it!!
)
5890931 Wonderful!
Wait a second, now that I look at your page.. You made 'The Cost of Revenge' too?
I love that story!