What is a teacher supposed to do when the newest student turns out to be a little monster? How is she supposed to react when facing intimidation? Only way to find out is to read the story :P
This is something I started working on a few months ago, I only remembered now about it and I worked all night to finish it up. I don't know if you will like it, but whether you do or not, feel free to comment. Tell me what you liked and what you didn't. If you have any suggestions to make it better, go ahead I will read every comments and see what i can do to improve the story.
Also, if you want to become an editor for the story I will gladly accept your help.
Chapters (1)
School Daze - W.A.S.P.
And no bucks
Were teachen that day
This was an amazing story, and I believe you nailed mos of the personalities pretty well. The back story on Miss Cheerilee (maybe I'll start calling her Cherry Lee now...) was pretty interesting and believable. The story as a whole actually seemed like an episode of the show, though I'm sure they wouldn't use even part of curse words (darn family television).
The errors were small, but I spotted quite a bit. The most repeated one was the misuse of commas, especially where you should have used semi-colons. A couple errors where you had a slight misspelling, one or two where you put a space in the wrong place, and I think I saw one capitalisation error. Still better than some of my work though!
If you still need a pony for an editor though, I could try to be one. I have some experience (in an entirely different way), and I'm willing to help ya out anytime! Writers have to stick together, no?
Hahaha! Awesome! Absolutely fantastic in every way.
I'm just so enamoured by the idea of mafioso ponies
^ this
Cherry Lee? Lol, it's genius!
589466
Fluttershy doesn't give a flying feather for 'family TV standards'
Woah! Rainbow Dash went to college?!
589370
FUCK YEAH!
589466 I'm glad you enjoyed the story that much. Yeah, about the half curse word, I just wanted to try and make it sounds like something worth being interrupted by Cheerilee (AKA a chalk stick thrown in the throat). At least I try to keep all my stories as unvulgar as possible. My main goal is to keep the spirit of the show as intact as I can, you won't see me write a gorefic about pastel colored ponies :P. If you want to take a look at the Gdoc version of the text to help improve it, just ask me in PM and Ill send you a link.
592650 oops maybe I didn't worded it properly. I didn't mean that RD went to college, just that she learned martial arts and earned her blackbelt at the dojo Cheerilee worked at. Cheer was still a student when Dash got in, and she graduated to sensei before Dash earned her black belt. (in my head canon, Cheerilee is 5 to 10 years older than the mane 6)
592833
Then who's cyan?
592925 a randomly chosen pony XD. Maybe, IF, I decide to do an other story based on the Spectrum, we will know who it is, but its probably gonna be just an OC. SF is the only one I actually chose from the BG character roster.
love this story. This is the second story I have seen that makes Cheerilee a super fighter (first being Cheer On) and this one is very well written. Bravo.