Ch.58 Round One, Battle Royal
Chrysalis Wins
Ch.58 “Round One, Battle Royal”
“DISCORD!”
The angry shout came from Celestia. The wingless, hornless, alicorn gave the draconequus a glare full of unbridled anger, an expression which few had ever witnessed, yet was now on full public display.
Discord kept on his referee jersey, and with a whimsical snap he summoned a lawn chair. He lazily leaned back and replied with wide smirk on his face.
“Why yes my dear Celestia?”
“What do you think you’re going to accomplish here? Yo-”
Discord interrupted her by causing the sound of her voice to go mute.
“I’ll be generous and give you a heads up Celestia. It’s not about what I’m doing here. It’s about what all of you are going to do. Now, this banter time is for contestants, between contestants. If any of you try to engage the referee with more complaints, it will inure penalties…”
His conversational tone dropped to a threatening level by the end of his explanation, and he gave one scrutinized look to the tall white mare before another snap restored the volume to her cubical. The oldest equestrian princess ground her teeth, and dropped her gaze from the chaotic composer to the playing field.
To her right was her sister Luna, and beyond her was Cadance, Shining, and Sombra. Directly to her left was Armor, More, Monarch, Specter, Crone, and on the exact opposite side of the platform, was Chrysalis.
It took a few moments for all the equines to gain their bearings, and figure out who was positioned next to them. As soon as they did, the various parties voiced things rather exuberantly.
“This isn’t fair!”
Queen More cowed against the edge of her cubical, as her eyes flicked wildly between the two changelings she was positioned between. One was the giant statured Monarch, who looked on the smaller queen with a hungry, gleeful smile, which was full of pearly fangs. One the other side was equally giant king Armor, who looked pleasantly thoughtful. His voice was half-sympathetic as he bellowed out.
“Aye, I would be inclined to agrrree this puts some of us at a distinct advantage. I darrre say most of these equines arrren’t use to brrrawlin’ with tharrr hooves.”
He possessed a restrained smile as he eyed his competition, the naturally armored king was obviously the most burly specimen on the field. His bluish eyes turned out towards the audience however, then he turned towards their chimera referee.
“Oi, Discord, ya said all the ponies n’ changelings in the stands can hearrr us, rrright?”
The draconequus absentmindedly filed his claws with a filer, and without a look up he grunted in acknowledgement.
“That is correct.”
“Then I have somethin’ to say to my ponies.”
The mismatched overseer gave an impartial shrug, and with a lazy wave of his lion paw, motioned for the changeling king to go ahead. Without another moment to waste, he spoke loudly, and his deep voice carried over the rest of the contestants, who began to speak among themselves.
“It’s trrrue, I, king Torrrque, was never a pony. Forrr the last sixty yarrrs, it has been me that’s been leadin’ ya. I know we value honesty among us, that I myself have been a vocal advocate. I know this makes me seem like a hypocrrrite now, that most of you will likely distrrrust me, or feel betrrrayed. I beg ya forrr a listenin’ ear, if ya’d give me one.”
Out in the seats of the stadium there was a particularly rambunctious crowd. The germane were easy to identify, because their section glittered and reflected with metallic sheen. There were many angry, hurt voices among them. It was too far for Armor to discern what they said, but the general tone caused his heart to sink. He took in a deep breath before he bellowed out again. When he spoke, he pointed a hoof at the other changelings in the platform circle.
“If ya want to know why I haven’t shown ya my real face, its because of them.”
Armor’s face turned glower as he eyed the other changelings, and evolved into a full blown scowl when his harsh gaze fell on Monarch.
“She, in parrrticularrr, has slaughtered most of our kind, and kept us all at each other’s thrrroats for the last hundred years…”
The giant, orange finned queen gave Armor a coy smile, and battered her eye lids rather flirtatiously.
“You don’t have to ring the ponies into our issues Armor. Don’t waste their time trying to convince them you’re a real germane or something, when all that really burns your mind is how much you miss your belated Allure.”
The mention of Allure broke something the giant king’s bright blue harlequin eyes. A vessel snapped, and a string of red bled down his cheek.
“How darrr ya… you sodden pustulaten’ witch!”
He brought a large hoof up and smashed it against the wall of his transparent cubical. The impact caused a bright refraction as the magical barrier held up under the pressure, and a slight crack was left over. He hit it again, and again. Each time a loud bang reverberated within the dome.
Queen More recoiled with every impact, and she had her hooves shield her head, and even started to cry. Her smaller frame trembled horribly under the aggressive display right next to her. Even though it wasn’t directed specifically at her, that wasn’t much comfort under the king’s bestial roar.
“Open up! OPEN IT! Imma smash herrr face in!”
Monarch just laughed…
---
-The pony corner of things.
Celestia turned to Luna, and the two shared a quick nod of solace, before they turned towards Shining and Cadance. The sister’s stern glares went soft as they eyed the couple next to them, who were still separated from each by the transparent walls of their cubicles. All three of the mares were ragged and dirty, as if they had recently been ripped out of a slimy prison or something…
Cadance and Shining both had their front hooves and muzzles placed against their barriers, as they vainly tried to reach through what separated them. Tears openly flowed from the pink princess’s eyes, and her lower lip trembled something fierce. Shining’s face couldn’t settle on one particular emotion, and danced between sorrow, happiness, anger, and consolation. Despite the wall between them, their voices carried as if there was no obstacle.
“Oh Shining… my Shining.”
She choked as she was overcome with emotions, and pressed her face that much harder against the barrier, and she slowly slid downward. Meanwhile the alabaster stallion tried his best to comfort her.
“Don’t worry honey, we’re together now, we’ll get through this.”
The confidence in his voice was shaky, despite his best to remain composed. To say his current lack of a horn bothered him was an understatement, though it didn’t bother him nearly as much as seeing his fiancé without her wings and horn. Celestia’s voice cut in.
“I’m sorry Captain Armor, and my dear niece. Life has been unusually cruel recently, but we have precious little time to plan, and I would like us to avoid any unnecessary suffering.”
The older princess’s kindly voice was able to garner their attention, and Luna followed up with what her sister had to say in a clear analytical tone.
“We should evaluate our advantages, for we do have a few. Then, we should decide who’ll stay behind, and be the winner. Should we obtain that choice between the four of us.”
Cadance’s crying softened down to sniffles, and Shining quietly nodded his head. So Luna continued.
“Well, from what I can tell, none of these other candidates share a bond like we do. The four of us can trust each other completely. Most of them seem to be independent and contentious parties. I believe if we stick together, we should be formidable enough.”
“Princess?”
“Yes captain?”
“Who’s he?”
One of Shining’s hooves pointed at the tall dark stallion to his right, who’s stature was equal to Celestia. The red-eyed pony noticed this, and gave sly smile, which showed his fangs. The equestrian captain raised his eye brows, slightly disturbed. Luna turned and answered with derision.
“That is a failed king, and Sombra is his name. He ruled over the Crystal Empire with evil. That is until Chrysalis took it from him, and hued love into his black heart. He is no friend of ours though.”
“How harsh Luna, and here I thought we made decent progress as prison mates.”
The stony colored pony sounded hurt, but the ruse was weak as he continued to smile, fangs on full display. Luna rolled her eyes and snorted.
“We did nothing more than peddle time away with mere attempts at entertainment. You would still conquer Equestria if you could. Our practical relations haven’t changed.”
Sombra ate up the cold attitude like a refreshing morning breeze. A strange sereneness overcame his lazily lidded eyes.
“O cont’rare princess nighty-night, I haven’t acted myself at all. Who’s to say we can’t engage on a united front, at least for a short time. If you haven’t noticed the roaches and beetles outnumber, and outweigh us. Besides, who set your captain and guard free… Do I not have the smallest traces of trust?”
The king did a silly attempt to look pitiable, and pushed out a pouty lower lip while he shyly crossed hooves. Shining opened his eyes wide, and mouthed ‘it was you?’ The dark blue princess just sneered, and before she could retort Celestia butted in.
“We will have no dealings with you Sombra, your honeyed tongue can suckle itself.”
With a sigh and a shrug the crystal king turned towards his other neighbors.
---
-Chrysalis’s corner
The queen with the jagged horn turned to her taller sister, a look of uncertainty filtered through her features, and she spoke in a low even voice.
“Well?”
“What is going on Chrysalis?”
“Discord apparently…”
“Yes, about that, do you know anything?”
“He said he gives us credit for this.”
“You mean he gives you credit. Is that why we’re caged like animals for a fight?”
“He didn’t explain much.”
“Fine, so how do we go about this? I see Shining giving us the evil eye… Fortunately most of them seem distracted with each other.”
Both of them glanced towards the pony side of things. It wasn’t much of a surprise to receive occasional glances filled with bitterness, resentment, and cold anger from them. Of the changelings there was only one that paid attention to them. It was the neighbor to their immediate right.
King Specter had a bewildered expression dominate his face, and his stance had widened defensively. Eventually he noticed the pair of queens positioned next to him.
“Chrysalis, Crone… you awakened the spirit of chaos…”
His manner was somewhere between horrible shock and incredibly impressed. Either one resulted in peeled eyes and a hung jaw. The two queens perked an eye brow at the same time.
“And your point?”
Specter coughed once as he tried to recompose his mind.
“The implications are too many. For now, I suppose we pay attention to this game you roped us into.”
The three of them exchanged a few looks, before they observed the platform and other contestants with apprehension. Chrysalis articulated her thoughts first. She pointed at the two largest changelings further around the ring.
“Well, we already know of the ponies. What can you tell us of those two? I figure the small coward won’t be much of an issue, the giants however...”
It was at that moment King Armor started to pound against his cubicle and roar incessantly. He did it so loudly none of the other equines could carry on a proper conversation, and several of them started to cover their ears. This included Chrysalis, Crone and Specter.
Even Discord up on his referee’s pedestal winced a little at the uptake of noise. After a moment he whipped out a remote, and pushed a few buttons to dial down Armor’s volume. The draconequus didn’t mind the display of anger at all, rather it made him chuckle. But the other contestants would still need to hear each other. After the modification was complete the enraged king’s voice no longer overpowered every other equine there. Armor didn’t seem to notice the change, and his thrashes showed no sign they would stop anytime soon.
The changeling sisters uncovered their ears, and Specter answered Chrysalis’s inquiry.
“That queen there, with the orange fin. Monarch is more or less responsible for the current relations between us royals. I won’t say Armor or More have been particularly benevolent, but neither of them have a habit of making trophies of our kind.”
“What do you mean responsible?”
Crone scrunched her muzzle in confusion, and slight apprehension.
“The war in the dark, which began a hundred and fifty years ago, she proved the most effective killer among us. A personal shrine gives hundreds of testaments to that.”
A disgusted sneer crawled over Specter’s snout, and he glanced towards the ground, his jaw was clenched tightly. Both Crone and Chrysalis felt their apprehension rise even more, and their tails flicked. The queen with the jagged horn tried to keep her demeanor straightforward.
“So… who is the greatest threat?”
Specter looked up, but kept his stance aggressive and jaw clenched. His voice became calculated.
“Without magic in the mix, it’s a tough call. I haven’t seen Monarch fight without it, she’s dominated any royal who has tried to face her in the magical regard. Armor however, he’s been King of Germane for sixty years apparently…”
The sister queens looked at each other with slight indifference, as they didn’t remember anything significant about the country.
“And?”
Specter returned the confused look, as if they missed something obvious. When they didn’t give anymore hints, he took on a concerned tone.
“To be the King of Germane he has to prove himself physically every few years… He’s worked with his hooves a lot. Plus his stature is just, gifted.”
Chrysalis shook her head and sighed with a hint of resignation.
“Figures, the king of a country filled with brawlers would be the biggest brawler of them all.”
She turned about and looked over the edge of the platform to the pool of swirly crimson sauce below. Her mind seriously contemplated how bad it would be in the sauce versus the approaching fight. Her eyes narrowed and she continued.
“If the three of us worked together do you think we could overpower him?”
Specter gave a doubtful grunt.
“We’ll see after he and Monarch slug it out. How about the ponies though. You’ve spent some private time with them recently, any surprises to worry about from them? Is Celestia secretly a martial hoof fighting expert or something? I never dug for any information like that…”
Crone snorted and Chrysalis chuckled.
“No, not from what we could tell. Luna however…”
Both queens shot the blue princess lethal glares filled with contempt. The dark alicorn reciprocated the feelings of reproach with a sneer. Specter observed the non-verbal exchange with curiosity.
“Some recent history there?”
“Yes…”
The two sisters voice ominously. Crone turned to Specter with a final question.
“So if, by some means, the three of us are left, then-”
He cut in with an even tone.
“This is a game, Crone and Chrysalis, if the three of us are the only ones left, then we continue to play.”
“Fair enough.”
They all exchanged a small smile at that. A fourth voice intruded on their little exchange however.
“Hey, wingless beetles, I don’t suppose we could-”
Crone and Chrysalis turned to their left with smirk.
“No.”
Sombra chuckled at the straight answer, and bowed his head.
“Very well…”
---
-Discord’s pedestal
The draconequus lifted his lion’s wrist infront of his long face. On the wrist was a watch that had twenty-seven arms, all of which rotated in different directions and speeds. He looked at it closely, gave it a critical tap or two, then looked out to the domed platform below him.
A whistle hung around his neck, which he seized with his eagle talon as he stood up. The noisy device was raised close to his lips, and hung there as he spoke to the stadium.
“Times up! Battle royal begins in five!”
More’s voice wailed from the dome.
“Please, no! I’ll do anything!”
“Four!”
Monarch stared down on More like she was a tantalizing horderve.
“Three!”
“Lord Discord, merciful Discord, please!”
“Two!”
“No! No! No! PLEASE! MERCY!”
“One.”
“WAAAAAHHHH!”
Tears openly ran down from More’s eyes as she pathetically hovelled to the side of her cubical, as far away from Monarch as she could get. Her hooves scrapped in a panic against her transparent cage.
“Begin!”
Discord blew his whistle and the glassy cubicles vanished in a blink. One terrified changeling queen leapt off the platform the moment it was available, and she screamed wildly as she fell. There were no wings on her back to save her as she plummeted down into the bright ruby goop.
For a moment the contestants all rushed over around the edge of the platform so they could see what the sauce did exactly. Discord’s voice commentated across the stadium.
“Oh looky here, we have our first contestant out of the picture. I guess the pressure of personal accountability was just too much.”
The draconequus’s tone was a delicious shade of mock-i-ree. Meanwhile many eyes were fixated on the changeling, who began to tread through the slow flow of the pool. More’s breaths were still fast, but the panic lessened in her eyes, and eventually her pace slowed down. She was drenched up to her neck in the stuff, but it didn’t seem to bother her too much, at the moment.
Before anyone’s attention was lost a strange thing started to happen in the pool. Different areas bubbled up, and the thick liquid began to form little figures. They were small, no bigger than a foal, and coagulated into what looked like… little bears? Scorpions? and ghost-ponies? oh my... All of which started to walk on top of the sauce as if it were open ground. Also each of the saucy critters was armed with a spoon.
More’s breaths and panic started to rise again as a small army of the sauce-demon-midgets began to surround her. They even made sinister little chuckles and laughs, then began some unintelligible chant. One by one, each of them dipped their spoons into the very sauce they walked over. Once they had a hearty serving of the ghost-scorpion-ursa-trinity-tartarus sauce they collectively raised their spoons, and launched it at the partially submerged changeling queen.
The volley struck her all over the head and face, which soaked her mane, and got all in her eyes, nose, mouth and ears. After a moment to recoup from the surprise, More started to scream again.
“oh, oh, Ah, AHHHH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!”
Her spice induced hysterics continued to increase as she tread through the sauce, chased by cackling little sauce demons as she went. Each of which continued to pelt her with lobs of more sauce.
“Oooo, it looks like she’s not going to enjoy the rest of this match. Hmm, I wonder who will be next?”
Discord’s voice shook up everyone’s focus, and all the contestants backed away from the edge and each other as quick as they could. The ponies gathered up into their small alliance, Chrysalis gathered with Specter and Crone. Sombra tried to remain quietly by himself on the far side of the platform. Monarch and Armor turned to face each other.
A brief moment of observation and tense suspense lasted between all parties. Then it was broken as King Armor charged at the only other equine that matched his height, Monarch. When he covered the ground the giant queen laughed giddily, then promptly turned tail and ran.
“Come back herrre ya wrrretch!”
The furious king roared, and his thunderous pace increased. His quarry was faster though, if only slightly, and it taunted him all the more. Monarch’s mad sprint aimed towards the next group of changelings, Specter, Crone, and Chrysalis. None of which wanted to be the first to collide with the giant queen, so they all turned tail and ran. Sombra was next in line, and also turned tail and ran. The group of ponies saw half a dozen very large equines stampede towards them, so they all turned tail and ran.
The platform had suddenly become a racing circuit, and each group fought to catch up to the one infront of it. The scene was too much for Discord, and he promptly fell over and laughed himself to pieces… literally, all his body parts detached and bounced around independently.
The chase lasted for some time, as all of the competitors possessed unusually good stamina. Aside from More’s shrieks from the sauce pool below, none of them said anything, all of them were too focused on the task infront of them, and worried about the problem behind them. By the time Discord started to reassemble himself, fatigue had finally started to etch effects into the groups.
As fate would have it, Cadance, who was in the lead, tripped. As she tumbled head over hooves she consecutively tripped up Celestia, Luna, and Shining. All of whom ended up either tangled in the pony infront of them, or flat on their face.
Not a moment later, and before they had time to properly react, Sombra, Specter, Chrysalis and Crone all tripped up into the same mess. Shouts, whinnies, hisses, grunts, growls, brays, and all manner of unpleasant noises resulted from the crunched mess of hooves, faces, and bodies. Limbs flailed wildly as the group of ridiculous equines tried to untangle themselves from each other.
Monarch reactively leapt over the entire squabble, her giant frame and long limbs easily cleared the distance. Armor did not react so gracefully, and instead bulldozed into it all. A few of the changelings and ponies were busted free, knocked aside like bowling pins. The rest were less fortunate, as the giant king lost the stability of his hooves, and fell hard ontop of a few of them.
Among those knocked to the side was Specter, who heaved and coughed harshly, for his gut had been on the receiving end of a giant hoof. Stars blurred his vision, and he struggled to set himself upright. As soon as he managed lay himself on his belly, he was promptly knocked over again. His eyes shot upward to stare straight into Monarch’s green ones. The queen’s devilish grin widened, and she pinned the smaller king under her hoof. Despite his struggles, his strength was no match for hers.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve done it this way. Feel privileged Specter, for I’ll reunite you with Clarity…”
Her mouth opened wide, fangs fully extended, and she lunged down on his neck. When her jaws clamped down she eagerly anticipated the warm splatter of blood to wet her tongue… but that didn’t happen. No, when she bit Specter’s neck she felt the oddest sensation instead. Her fangs didn’t penetrate and sink, they gave way. In frustration she tried to bite down again, and even tried to chew, but she didn’t manage anything better than giving the equally confused king an odd pinch.
Monarch withdrew, and put a hoof up to her mouth. When she pushed against her teeth they gave way… Her teeth had become rubber! This caused her to snarl something fierce, and mutter vain curses.
A loud whistle was blown, and every equine froze in place. Discord called out from his place on the nearby pedestal.
“Foul play! The game is to throw the other contestants off the platform… Not kill them. Otherwise they won’t be able to play in future rounds you ninny. So, for dishonoring the spirit of the game, you, Monarch, have earned yourself a penalty.”
The giant changeling queen looked ready to burst a blood vessel in her eye, but the anger quickly shifted to fear as she felt her body shift and change. A few moments later she was a quarter of her original height. Her new shrunken stature meant she was only half the size of the shortest pony on the field.
“Mmm ok, let’s resume.”
One snap later and they were all free to move again. Specter immediately seized the shrunken queen and wrestled her down with a modicum of effort. She screeched and tried to snap at him, only to realize her teeth were still rubber. With her pinned down, Specter growled into her retracted ears.
“Time for you to burn Monny.”
They started to slowly scoot towards the edge of the platform, the smaller queen pressed and dragged helplessly over the dirt. She tried to roar back at him, but her voice was now a squeak.
“Pathetic, you’re just pathetic! You can’t win without everything in your favor!”
Specter paused, before he roughly pressed little Monarch’s face into the dirt. He seethed, for desired to do much more, but it was clear there were penalties for doing “more”. So he resorted to words.
“I don’t remember you having any qualms tearing others apart, regardless of their disadvantages. Can you not take what you dish out?”
They were almost to the edge now, and in a few moments he could toss her sorry hide over the edge. Even as he approached the precipice a deep voice bellowed out in challenge.
“THAT WITCH IS MINE!”
Armor had picked himself up and charged towards Specter and the miniature Monarch. The smaller king instantly dropped his quarry and dodged out of the way before he could get crushed. The little queen was only quick enough to get up, but not get out of the way. Her emerald eyes flashed wide in terror as Armor twirled about on his hooves, with both hind legs raised high. Rational thought became devoid of her mind as the shrunken queen just started to scream.
Monarch was bucked clear across the dome, her midgetized body soared through the air until she smacked against the edge of the glassy dome. Her body mushed against it so hard she stuck, like a bug smashed into a window.
---
Armor sat down, out of breath, and none of the contestants approached him. Rather, most still sorted through their senses, whether they had been knocked aside like a bowling pin, or crushed under the pony pile.
Celestia and Luna recovered the fastest; they were among those off to the side. They got on their hooves and brushed each other off, then they searched the rest of the mess. The alabaster princess gasped when she saw Cadance and Shining, for both of them had a leg bent the wrong way. One of Shining’s forelegs looked snapped, and one of Cadance’s rear ankles had swollen up dangerously.
Sombra lay over both of them in a daze. Both of the royal sisters rushed over and tossed grey king off and tended to their injured companions. Celestia’s anger flared again and she stared right up at Discord, who contentedly relaxed in his oversized lawn chair.
“Discord! Stop this right now! All you’re proving is you’re a cruel tyrant.”
The whistle blew, and this once again froze everything in place.
“Now now, what did I say about complaining to the referee. But alas, all you want to do is blame some pony else for your problems.”
Discord vanished and reappeared on the contestant’s platform. He started to walk in a slow circle around Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Shining. He was no longer in his referee jersey, but a fancy lawyer’s outfit. The draconequus paused infront of the couple and pointed towards their injuries.
“See Celestia, this is the result when you actually have to deal with problems yourself… It comes with a personal cost. Perhaps you’ve become accustomed to using the Equestrian population as a whipping pony proxy… But all the same, it won’t change your mind. So I’ll prove you wrong right now. For I’m not willing to descend to the level of cruelty you are princess. Millenial statues and moons, psh, I’m not even close.”
With his lion paw, Discord reached behind his ear, and pulled out a long roll of medical tape. With crazy fast dexterity he wrapped up Shining’s snapped leg, and Cadance’s swollen ankle.
“There, now they won’t feel a thing.”
He gave the couple a pat on their heads, and shoved a lollipop into each of their mouths. He brought up his magical remote control and hit the un-mute button while he pointed it at Shining and Cadance. He spoke first though.
“Just one quick question, are either of you in pain?”
Shining gave the draconequus an angry look, and a short retort.
“No.”
Cadance still blubbered a bit, and her words were a little garbled.
“My soul is… sniff-sniff”
Discord twirled around his goatee with a claw thoughtfully.
“Well, not much I can do about that dear.”
The lawyer suit disappeared and was replaced by the referee jersey again. He vanished and reappeared on his lawn chair, and brought the whistle back up to his lips, but stopped himself from blowing it.
“Oh, I promised penalties for complaints didn’t I. hehe”
The chimera’s smile went mad, and he snapped the hair on the end of his tail, as if it was digits and not hair. Immediately afterward Celestia flinched… and nothing apparently happened. She didn’t change height or shape, nothing appeared to be altered.
Then the whistle was blown and things resumed.
Cadance uttered something in surprise as she put a hoof up to her face.
“I don’t feel anything. Shiny I don’t feel anything!”
Her stallion moved to get up, and tested the broken leg. Initially his tone was one of approval.
“I know my love, its great isn’t it… wait a minute.”
He didn’t feel anything either, like nothing. He put a hoof up to his face, and couldn’t detect the slightest bit of sensation. There was no sense of touch, or pain whatsoever. The couple gawked in shock. Celestia took a step forward and quickly asked.
“Are you two ok?”
But then an unexpected effect took place. When her body moved forward she felt it lift off the ground, and she lost all traction as she simply started to float away. This caused her to let out a yip of surprise. She repressed her immediate desire to shout “DISCORD”.
“Auntie! What’s happening to you?”
Cadance’s panic didn’t help Celestia as she tried to figure it out herself. Her legs flailed about as she tried to control her direction in futility. The white princess kept going up and up until she was about ten ponies high up in the air, then she began a slow descent, and drifted back to the ground like a balloon that slowly lost air. She landed on the other side of the platform with that little maneuver.
A loud bark of a laugh came from nearby, which belonged to Sombra.
“Low gravity princess? HAHA! That’s neat. Hey Celestia, would you like to play tag?”
“Don’t you even think about it!”
The tall princess nervously kept herself where she was, apprehensive to try and move again. The grey king just chuckled and galloped towards her, neck stretched. When it was apparent he wouldn’t stop she prepared to jump, and even got off the ground. Before she was out of reach Sombra managed to graze her hoof with his snout.
The touch was enough to mess up her trajectory and she slowly floated up and off into a direction she couldn’t help. A direction that would inevitably land her into the sauce pool. Sombra stood at the edge of the platform and watched Celestia start to descend with a chuckle.
“Oh, sorry princess, did I push you that way? I assure you it was an accident.”
The elder princess scowled at the sass, but she slowly turned that into smile, and chuckled to herself. The sudden alleviation of Celestia’s mood caused the king to tilt his head in confusion. He suddenly figured why when from behind.
“Fiend!”
Luna leapt at Sombra and knocked him back. The push sent him toward the edge and panic lit his eyes as he started to fall. The dark princess didn’t leave him a chance to grab onto the ledge as she lashed out with her hooves. There was one thing she left unguarded however, and Sombra bit onto it with his mouth.
The night princess let out a shriek as she felt her mane tugged on violently. The grey king had his mouth locked onto it like a shark, his grip was the only thing that kept him from falling into the sauce pool.
In a desperate struggled Luna had braced all of her hooves onto the ground, and tried to keep herself from being pulled over the edge along with Sombra. Neither of them would yield in either direction.
“Let go you abominable beast!”
“Nnnrrggg.”
“Auntie Luna!”
Cadance rushed over to help her fellow alicorn, Shining right behind her. Both of them stopped as pair of large changelings intervened. The equestrian captain’s eyes flared and he growled one word.
“You…”
Crone stood tall infront of the two ponies, almost head and neck above both of them. Meanwhile Chrysalis limped around behind, one of her hind legs was badly bruised at the joints. The queen with the jagged horn continued her slow gimpy walk toward Luna’s and Sombra’s desperate stalemate.
“Both of you have been such a terrible pain.”
Chrysalis sighed heavily, and one of her eyes twitched badly. The slow approach caused both the alicorn’s and stallion’s eyes to wide. Luna tried to shift her hooves, but every time she tried Sombra’s weight drug her closer to the edge, so she called out in frustration.
“Let go you fool, or she’ll get us both!”
The king just narrowed his eyes and didn’t relent. Even as the haggard queen closed the distance the other two ponies tried to rush to the princess’s aid. They were blocked from their efforts by Crone, who physically outmatched them both.
“Stay back you two. Luna needs to pay for what she did.”
“I’m sure whatever she did against you was perfectly justified.”
Crone’s eyes flared, and she smacked Shining with the back of her hoof. This caused him to flinch but not recoil. He didn’t feel it after all.
“Shut your self-righteous trap. You have no idea what you’re talking about, and if either of you want to stay on this piece of dirt for another minute you’ll stay where you are.”
The larger queen stamped her hooves at them, and they both backed away from her aggressive advance. Cadance was the more hesitant of the two, and she backed further than her fiancé did.
When Chrysalis was a mere two steps away from Luna the equestrian captain snapped, and he charged recklessly at the changeling that blocked him. Crone was surprised by the level of forwardness, and the sudden tackle pushed her back. After a moment of readjustment her hooves found stable ground and she was able to stop Shining’s burst of energy. Then the two of them started to exchange and flurry of blows, and both of them connected often.
“Shiny!”
Cadance couldn’t bear to watch, so she joined the fray and delivered a few solid blows to Crone’s exposed side. The queen coughed and gasped as she felt a sharp pain, and she rounded towards the new source. She raised a hoof to strike at the pink offender, but Shining took advantage of the distraction and laid his aggression even further into the queen.
She screeched in anger.
“Enough!”
Crone dialed all of her aggression at the captain, and focused her attention on the bandaged leg specifically. She hit the primary joint, over and over. Eventually she was rewarded with a loud crack! Shining’s leg bent out of joint and he crumpled down onto his face, unable to stand properly.
“No!”
Cadance cried, but she could do nothing. Specter joined the quarrel and pinned her to the ground. The changeling king’s expression was displeased, and he didn’t look anyone in the eye. He merely stayed resolved while Crone vented her spite.
“Alright you little thorn, over the edge with you.”
The queen grabbed Shining around the neck, dragged him to the edge, and unceremoniously tossed him over. This caused Cadance to sob and fall limp underneath Specter. The king wasn’t all too pleased the distress and drama he had made himself a part of.
---
“Come on Luna, just go over and take the intolerable king with you.”
Chrysalis had come into range, and took a few lazy swipes at the princess’s hind leg. Every time the blue alicorn shifted a hoof to dodge she lost a little ground, and got closer, and closer to the edge. Sombra’s incessant weight was an ominous guide.
“Come on, it’s not much farther. There’s plenty of little sauce monsters waiting for you.”
Rather than take a swipe, Chrysalis just body bumped Luna’s backside. With no way to avoid it, the princess lost critical balance, and Sombra’s weight did the rest. They both fell over and splashed into the tartarus sauce.
The queen with the jagged horn closed her eyes and sighed in relief. She could here several cries of pain or howls of discomfort now. She heard Crone’s voice from behind.
“Actually taking a moment to enjoy yourself, sister?”
Chrysalis hummed in answer.
“It is good to know I am still up here, while they are down there.”
“Then I’m sorry.”
“What?”
She felt a sudden force from behind her, and soon there was nothing under her hooves. Chrysalis’s eyes exploded open, and she twisted mid air to look at the changeling behind her. Crone called out loud enough for the falling sister to hear.
Chrysalis was only able to angrily gesture with her hooves before she back flopped into the red goop with a spectacular splash.
Sombra, already in the sauce himself, opened his mouth to laugh, but instead received a mouthful from one of the sauce bear demons.
Crone stood near the edge sighed, and shook her head a little. When she turned to face the remainder of the platform she found a large dark object flying toward her. She blinked before it impacted and they both flew over the edge.
A few loud steps heralded Armor’s approach to the platform’s edge.
“Huh, didn’t take ya forrr a conspirrratorrr Specterrr. Sodden spy jack…”
He left the edge and the rest of the contestants to wallow bellow. It only took him a few steps to approach the last competitor.
Princess Cadance lay in a heap and continued to sob, she hardly seemed to notice when the last giant on the field approached her. She didn’t notice when she was prodded, or when he whispered to her.
“Werrre this for life and death I would have fewerrr qualms, but it’s not little dame.”
He put a hoof under her chin and lifted it up. His blue eyes met her pink irises and he gave her one stern look. She sniffled and closed her eyes, a look of utter resignation crossed her countenance, and her body drooped.
The next moment the king’s giant hoof was off her. She expected to be tossed aside at any moment. But that moment never came. Instead she heard the ring of a bell, and Discord’s voice sounded throughout the stadium.
Chapter would have been out earlier, but I caught a cold.
blerg, 12 characters feels like a lot to feature in a chapter =P, but i had fun doing it. Anyway, the sketches.
Things get rowdy fast.
Cadance be all-like
The other changelings plan.
The guy you'd want to referee all you games 
The first one out (More), and the nature of the sauce...
Mini Monarch glass plaster
Better hair on for dear life... kek 
(I'm so funny)
The final decision
The links if you missed em
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.... I didn't want to comment harshly on this story hre......... But that was painful to read. Every bit as bad as i was expecting.
Also congratulations at warfing the alicorn who fought a giant sandworm head on.
Sighs. I want to explain what made it not work here, but there is just soo much of it that i cannot even start with it. It both what came before and what has happened NOW. Its jsut too much. This situation just feels forced, period.
Love the picture with Monarch still on the glass. Also Crone's move.
Still not a fan of this direction though.
I like this direction, honestly. Discord interrupting a civil war and turning it into a reality TV show competition makes a ton of sense, given all the chaos caused by the changelings.
I mean, Rainbow dash is corrupted by the Alicorn amulet, and the elements of harmony are forced to violate the very LAW of nature to make themselves a vessel.
The fact that the Elements broke the natural law about the finality of death probably contributed a lot to the release of Discord so soon after he was sealed. The corruption of Rainbow dash helped, and then Chrysalis cloned herself, and Sombra was purged of his windigo heart. And then there was the multiple changeling rulers all ready to advance on the Crystal empire, and all these plans would have collided in the chaos of war.
Great chapter. Good to see Monarch get at least some comeuppance, but I still want to see her dead, especially that she seems to be responsible for a lot of stuff, like Chryssie not even knowing about other changeling royalty due to her forcing everyone to hide.
Yeah, add far as I remember, Chryssie and the changelings didn't kill or really seriously hurt anyone, but Luna...
Cya
Raziel-chan
6742265
i don't think you were paying attention; discord turned everyone's fangs into rubber and poofed away everyone's wings and horns.
what is so forced about Discord's behavior?
6742622 i mean cadance. she fought a fucking sandworm head on dude. a sandworm. yet here...... just pathetic >_ <
And that would do what to the earth pony strength? Which would have given the alicorns absolute advantage in a direct brawl. discord might be able to take horns and wings away but that doesn't make them any less magic, simply took away the medium.
Of course considering that collective the whole lot of them were well beyond discord's powers, it is just a load of contrivance to the point of the asinine that discord subdued them all like that.
The saying is, were it so easy. WEre it so easy for discord to disable the regal sisters, he would not have done that whole plunder seed plan. Were it so easy to beat them, he could have prevented them from getting the elements to begin with. He is powerful but whoever said he was limitless, outside of guys who do not want to accept he has limitations?
6742832 Because the writer of the story flies into anything he desires without any desire to build context. We see some plans form sombra, yet nope, just throw discord into this.
Someone points out luna's dream walking, he makes her stupid enough to just SAY it rather than keep it as a secret weapon and actually integrating it into the story. Also somehow has a fucking Dreg injure her, despite her being an earth pony and pegasus and having fought infinitely more powerful things than a changeling oc.
Introduces crone and INSTANTLY makes her a psychotic murderous creature. When given more negative feed back than just myself, he backed down and changed it. And worse, such an easy change implies he didn't really have a proper plan for her.
Fifty fucking chapters fly by of things just circling back to square one again and again and again. When there is something actually interesting, he fucks the whole thing up by SUDDENLY introducing discord out of the blue. And worse, completely ignores the show when it comes to discord's actual limitations. This whole event might be discord to the D, but it is utterly implausible he could subdue all of those beings at once.
Also whenver someone makes a criticism of him, he tries to portray them as an idiot. Including intentionally breaking down their argument in a segmented fashion that, quite often, redacts the statements made to cover the questions. I say the subject is this, but it may also be this, he removes the But statement.
So its a combination of his writing just being a clsuterfuck and his treatment of criticism and his refusal to actually improve.
6742325
Wait, what fun is there in making sense?
Ba-dun-tch!
6742951
Dude. Just stop. This guy has replied to your comments more respectfully than you deserve, and you still pester him because his AU isn't your definition of "perfect". I hate to say this, but it must be said.
You're a troll, dude. Nobody likes you. You stopped giving helpful criticism a very long time ago.
Go away.
On that happy note, Merry Christmas, everybrony!
Well, what do you know? Cadence wasn't the 1st to be tossed! She won!
6743803 no one here is asking for perfect. i am asking for cohesion, that the damn story develops some flow to the narrative. if anything, the entire thing keeps on getting increasingly jarring. unnatural twists and turns of plot and a increasing feeling that the writer has no idea where it is going.
hell like i said, we had that forced grimdark thing when crone was first introduced. and that was after a contrived recreation of the trixie episode that became completely pointless because suddenly chrysalis was able to utterly overpower her. so she was only overpowered in the beginning so she could accidentally find the mane six.
i'm one of the few people who are pointing out these issues here. its gone WELL beyond something that can be constructively criticized though. and no, you liking it and defending it is not in any way evidence to me that it might actually be good. There are stories that are even WORSE than this story by far with thousands of likes. there are stories that are more popular that reach such grotesque levels of the asinine that this story looks decent in comparison.
So no, you guys defending it is by no means convincing me that to leave the story alone. Cause people will defend things infinitely worse than a story where sombra is pseudo discord.
Also calling me a troll is getting monstrously old. why would i bother forming anything resembling a thought if i was merely a troll? People just call me a troll cause they want to dismiss criticism. Or they legitimately have no seen legitimate troll behavior before.
6742917 why not show us what you think would happen if this had a good plot.
6743942 Cause i would be accused of copying someone's story if it did?
I can say some things that would have improved it greatly. Make sombra not discord lite, have luna smart enough to hold her dream walking in reserve for later. Have discord pop up and mess with chrysalis and watching the reaction long, LOOONG ago. He would have infinite reason to not directly interfere, cause he could get a lot of enjoyment watching chrysalis stew. Generally make the ponies actually competent. Make chrysalis struggle a FUCKABUNCH with maintaining control of the ponies. Have her make some grave mistakes that only piss the ponies off, show she has NO idea how to deal with ruling a kingdom that is actually a kingdom. Have her learn and force her to compromise, else she will lose control of the nation she just took over.
In general have several concepts floating in the background and potential threats bobbing about rather than just a cycle of circling back to square one again and again. And have celestia working to undermine chrysalis behind the scenes, and create a situation where Chrysalis is reliant on her enemy, cause what the hell would she know about economics or how to make sure the ponies do not just beat the fuck out of her changelings?
And remove eighty percent of that stuff going on in the past with changelings, largely the windigo part. That is just contrived and an extremely forced backstory for sombra. It is completely unnecessary and completely destroys the entire equestria founding thing in the process. Also the changelings create hate and depression because the need to eat love. How can that beat a being that eats hatred? Also the whole somehow erasing the memory of a fucking fire elemental demigod at a whim just makes no sense at all. Maybe when she was not an alicorn, perhaps, but afterwards..... Yeah.
Also by whatever means necessary, do NOT just make a replication of the events of an episode, especially when it would make no sense.
Generally, write an actual story and not a series of disparate events that really add up to nothing at all and are at the sacrifice of all characterization involved.
This. Was. Just. Funny. All. Around!!
More please?
6742951
You know... I wanted to delete your two most recent comments very badly... You clearly violated the warning I made when I said not to bring up old arguments. Like arguments that are over 40 chapters old... Also you're just being overly rude, biased, and profane.
I'll give you one more chance to see the light of day, otherwise I'll have no remorse if you try to bring up old issues again. Or if the attitude doesn't improve. I feel there's an effectual difference between letting people speak freely, and letting someone try to take over the forum by turning the system into a venue for their personal frustration and attacking anyone who sees differently from them. Resulting to petty things and simple mud flinging.
So, I'll actually address what you said to these other people. Since Joey hasn't replied for a few hours, and because nionio won't get a notification, because you replied in the incorrect chapter ( Your written reply to nionio is posted in chapter 58, vs chapter 44 where he posted his. So he won't see what you said... anyway)
Onto the points... I'll try to take it in the full context which you intended. Since you think I'm deliberatly trying to take you out of context or something...
So, you wanna analyze the video, and make some comparisons to the way I depicted Cadance here, vs the way it happened there? Alright.
Cadance fought it, yes. She flew around, used magic, and had the motivation and team support of Twilight with her as well. Her intial reaction was fear and to flee, she even got tangled up, but Twilight helped her out. Twilight got in trouble next and Cadance in turn found the boldness to help her sister-inlaw out.
After they figured their magic was effective in irritating/disabling the worm they continued with confidence until it was defeated and sealed...
Ok, Did I summarize the context of that scene correctly? ... If I did, then let's summarize the context in which Cadance was depicted in this chapter, of this story...
Building up to it, Cadance was beat up by Chrysalis, and promptly stuffed into a cocoon. She was sucked on and drained for days. When Sombra took her she was still left to distill in the cocoon. She can dream, but she'd likely have experienced intense nightmares from the abusive feeding she received. Even if she had some time to stabilize, she would still be a worried wrecked mess. Her wedding was trashed, she had no idea what happened to her fiance, and most everything has been taken from her, save the ability to dream in isolation.
When she finally gets a little release, its by a mad draconequus looking to make her another ornament in his parade of entertainment. Before she knows what happened her wings and horn are gone, and she's placed in the middle of an enormous stadium with tens of thousands watching. A few of her loved ones are there, but disturbingly they're missing limbs and appendages too. Then she's told she's going to fight with the source of her nightmares (Chrysalis), as well as a bunch of other aggressive parties, who are on par or more advantaged than Chrysalis in this particular scenario.
... Clearly Cadance in that worm scene is mentally/physically comparable to the wingless, hornless, beat-up, and deprived Cadance depicted here in Discord's game... (In case you haven't read my personal author's note, SARCASM IS DELICIOUS
)
The alicorn's still have their earth pony strength. simple as that. It's what kept them mildly competitive in this situation. I mean, you can say something silly like "
" but you didn't finish the line and say who this absolute advantage would apply against. Are you saying that earth pony strength would absolutely overpower the likes of Chrysalis?
Here's a video, I can't seem to find a short 4-5 sec clip of what I want. So just pay attention to : 18 - : 22 of this video
Seems kind of funny Celestia and Chrysalis would do a little horn wrestle there. They are both clearly straining at it too, as brief as it was. Perhaps Celestia was hoping she could just physically kick down the haggard and sickly looking creature? I don't know, I'm just going to run with it.
Anyway the point of bringing that clip us was to show Chrysalis's physical strength was apparently equal to Celestia's at that time. With the expansion and context of this story, That means Chrysalis's strength was equal to that of the eldest, largest alicorn when she only had Shining's love available. Also she wasn't fully recovered from her extensive abuse from the starvation and diseases of the badlands.
Now by the time we come to Discord's little game of Slapstick w/ hooves, Chrysalis has greatly improved her condition many times over with the resources she had access to. While Celestia and others have been stowed away in cocoons doing nothing, and were infact fed on until it was a detriment to their health. The only exception being Luna.
All of this besides the explanations I gave earlier, that royal changelings were their own class, above and beyond the capabilities of other changelings, and atleast comparable in ability to alicorns. So, please forgive me If I think your reason (Alicorns have earth-pony strength) holds much viability as an advantage in the scenario this chapter presented.
You've talked about surprise being an advantage for changelings many times before. Why wouldn't it be useful for Discord as well? I mean, the only one who saw him coming was Chrysalis, and that was because he introduced himself to her before the current shenanigans. Even then, she didn't know what he was going to do.
None of the other Ponies/Changelings reeled into his game expected him either. How could they prepare for something they had no idea was coming. Celestia / Luna / Cadance / Sombra were all imprisoned and disabled... how do you expect them to fight back in that condition?
Also, I don't know what means you believe the alicorns / others would attempt in order to even fight back. With out their horns, without the medium, what are they going to do? I just don't understand what you're getting at.
They may have latent magic in them, but they have no means to harness it. Please tell me what I am missing here, or give me some examples where Celestia and Luna could do substantial magic without their horns.
My reason for thinking Discord could simply remove body parts, even from powerful magic users, is very simple.
Lolz besides the point. That wasn't the only time he did it either. Remember the hedge maze in "Return to Harmony"? Well he took the wings and horns from the Mane Six without a flinch. Before you dismiss them as totally average ponies and not an applicable comparison. I would argue they aren't average ponies, especially Twilight. Who's displayed many impressive magical feats. Yet she was taken by surprise all the same.
Also another point about the episodes "Return to Harmony", where were Celestia and Luna the whole time? Just off in Lala land? They certainly didn't take a proactive role in the fight against discord. All Celestia did was send letters to twilight. The princess apparently wouldn't risk a direct confrontation with the draconequus. Even with Luna and all the magical might of the equestrian royal guard at her beck and call. I mean, characters like Shining Armor have definitely proven themselves powerful magic casters.
This leads me to believe Celestia didn't think she could win a direct confrontation, even though she had loads of back up available. I mean, she was content to let Discord play games with the Mane Six (One of which was her prized student), IN HER BACK YARD!
I don't think you're looking at it at the right angle. The question for Discord usually isn't "Is it easy?". Rather I find the question, when trying to understand Discord's perspective, "What is fun?". If you ask yourself "What is fun?" instead of "What is easy?" then you might find yourself making a few different choices. Ofcourse Discord could be direct... but then that would be boring, wouldn't it?
I don't think Discord looks at the royal sisters as opponents. He looks at them like toys. If he just disabled them and put them quietly away, it would be like putting away the biggest flashiest toy in his collection. There's plenty of reason for him to let them run around, and keep all their shining bells and whistles. It makes playtime more fun.
Even Celestia recongnized the relationship Discord had with them.
As far as the plunder seeds. I already mentioned that, and pointed it out in the way the video presented it. I think Discord's primary target was the tree, and secondarily the royal sisters. He was content with a slow drawn out plan like that because the two sisters were likely the most entertaining ponies he would have for a while... so why rush it?
Also Discord may have suspected Luna and Celestia were doing something with the Tree of Harmony, but I don't think he knew exactly what they were up to. I don't think he recognized the elements for what they could do. Likely because the elements took shape when the Tree of Harmony gifted them to the sisters, and weren't a factor in Discord's plan while he sowed his seeds.
I mean, it seems pretty obvious Discord didn't recognize the elements as anything special.
The rest of the time he just stood there and laughed. Obviously not anticipating what that rainbow meant, or even the source it came from. I mean Discord innately recognized something dangerous about the Tree of Harmony, thus the plunderseed plan, but I don't think he understood it's nature, or capabilities all that well. Thus, why he was able to be surprised by Luna and Celestia, because he clearly took them for harmless up until that point.
I haven't said he was limitless. I expressed my opinion that his main point in the show was to make fun of people with power. Or show that a conventional means of fighting wouldn't do the trick. That's why he was a fun character to me. Not because he could win magical arm wrestles. Rather, it's all about how he toys with people.
That being said, I plan to show he has limits... Its just the current cast just doesn't have a means to fight back at the moment...
Now, onto you second comment's contents. I do hope I'm keeping it in context so far
, cuz, apparently breaking down blocky paragraphs with quotes and analyzing the statements is some kind of improper approach...
This is primarily why I wanted to delete the comment. Just more of your personal seething and rehashing that doesn't deserve anymore space in the newer chapters. Whatever. I already said I'm giving one last chance and the next time you bring up that old "Luna" thing I'm going to delete the comment. Let me address the issues.
Hmm, so, who's to say there wasn't a context built up for Discord's appearance?
evidence of building context
- Ch. 47 "Stirrings" Discord's prison is weakened, his statue starts to crack. Reasons that it was weakened?
() Shellish was revived by the elements, presumably pulling out vast amounts of power to revive the dead queen (The why will be answered soon. Tree of Harmony has an agenda right?)
() Equestria is unsettled, Chrysalis's invasion causes rank disbelief and distrust amongst ponies. She never really expanded far from Canterlot so her control and point of view was limited. The effects would be more profound than what she could see.
() At this point Shining Armor and the equestrian guard had time to plan war efforts.
() The other changeling royalty prepared for volatile activites
() Element bearers themselves seperated, Rainbow Dash was exposed to the corruption of the Alicorn Amulet. Granted, the effects from even brief exposure have not been explored. Though I do intend on answering that further.
-Ch. 55 "Anticipation" Discord's pink cloud makes a fore shadowing.
Sigh... Now for the Luna thing. (Gonna color it blue, cuz, so much black and white text!)
Her advantage, and the usefulness was debatable in that circumstance, and could only get her so far. If she wanted to disrupt the changelings sleep, then logically, they would likely blame her first. Who else is going to give them sleeping problems? Then Luna, being stuck in her pod, would easily be subject to Chrysalis's wrath for such a maneuver
As far as her making the bluff and trying to intimidate Chrysalis, you wanna call that stupid? I would call it bold, but not necessarily stupid. It was gambit, more or less.
Rather than give Chrysalis objective evidence of her capabilities, Luna could try and scare Chrysalis into thinking she was capable of far more insidious effects, and bluff the changeling into terms.
It didn't work, but it was one of Luna's potentially better options. Because I think cocooned Luna could only exercise so much influence or power. Especially when Chrysalis regularly snacked on her. Remember, Chrysalis's feedings taxed Luna, in every sense of the word. That would include the alicorn's abilities and influences.
Lastly, the scuffle between Luna and Vivisect. What else do you want in that circumstance? Vivisect was Chrysalis's best fighter. Is it that hard to imagine Chrysalis would have an experienced veteran under her command? Is it that hard to imagine this veteran fighter, which has survived decades in the harsh conditions like the badlands and everfree forest, might have some level of competence?
Conversely, is it that hard to imagine Luna capable of being weakened. Weakened to the point where her reflexes are slower, her strength reduced, and powers fatigued? Such as the condition when they pulled her out of the pod? Is it really that unbelievable?
She wasn't in that condition when she fought Sombra, Tirek, Discord, or presumably a number of other past enemies. It's to her credit that despite all the gross disadvantages she had weighing her down, that she was still able to defeat Chrysalis's BEST FIGHTER!
If anything, I think this is one of your most unreasonable complaints. Every time you bring it up you also ignore the circumstances in which it took place. You keep on using her past fights as examples, despite the conditions of those past fights being totally different. Everytime you bring it up it just sounds like "YOU BEAT UP MY FAV PRINCESS! HOW DARE YOU LET AN AVERAGE CHANGELING BEAT UP A PONY THAT WAS BASICALLY A COMA PATIENT!"
Yes, when several people, besides YOU expressed real qualms I took that as a sign. See, you're willing to complain about anything and everything every chapter lordofmyth. It not exactly unusual for you to be up and arms about this or that. You're always hating on this story.
, voiced their concerns, I realized things should change. Or the dark tone was simply too much. But I find you accusation that I didn't have plans rather insulting.
When Several other people, who's opinions I respect
I had around 18 chapters planned for that arc. I totally scrapped the idea and have it into a new direction now. I'll even give you evidence that I had ideas thought out. Here's a glimpse into the author's notes I scrapped when the criticism came back.
Yep, basically threw that away. So now I have a different list of plans. But I'm not going to give that to you for obvious spoiler reasons. Your accusation that I put no thought into this feels ridiculous. I think about this story, and ideas for it all the time. I can't always predict on how it will be received however. I'm no psychic, I'm not prophet or soothsayer. If I start to post something and the reception is overwhelmingly negative, then i'll readjust it.
That's the qualifier though, several people, not just one outlier.
If you read, watch, listen to any media, There are always going to be those who give it a negative rating, regardless of the quality or thoughtfulness put into it. Overwhelming negative reception however, has a lot more determination in the success of a piece than one lonely critic that happens to have an unpopular opinion.
Oh, you actually found the build up interesting in Ch.55 and 56? I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell that you found it interesting between your complaints about the crystal heart, balance, and general other rehashing of eternally unforgiven sins.
Besides, doesn't Discord exist to throw things out of normal procedure? I mean, how would you like the character to be used? Selective and convenient chaos?
I would argue Discord doesn't show up out of the blue. A cotton candy cloud (ch.55) clearly showed he was going to be involved.
Discord to the D, huh? Thanks for the back-handed compliment!
As far as the plausibility of the situation. I think that was discussed already in this comment. You just reiterated the issue several times... As if it hasn't been heard or answered already...
Hmmmm.... I'm not trying to portray you personally as an idiot. Some of the reasoning you bring up causes me to chuckle, but I don't want to demean you as a human being. I will, however, call out unreasonable accusations, and answer them with evidences. Whether implicit or explicit.
Many of yours happened to fall under the category of poorly reasoned accusations, at least by my ability to judge things. So I answer you. I may get frustrated or sarcastic at times, because I do feel some of these issues just have very obvious answers. Your stubbornness and repetitiveness when you think you are right has a way of grating on the nerves. Especially when I've taken lot's of time to give thorough answers to several of them.
I don't think you're stupid. I just think you locked yourself into a corner with unreasonable biases and expectations. That you've done it to such an extent you have extreme difficulty seeing the good in the world. It's not a lack of intelligence, but severe case of closed-mindedness
No one can reason with you, no one can logic with you. Not when you have your mind and opinion set on something. It's this approach that gives other people the perception you're just being irrational. There's no give with you. Nothing to work with. It's the my way or the highway.
When you take such an overt stand, and then expect everyone to bend to you. How do you think that's going to go over? Also, how does that enable you to look at your own mistakes objectively? Answer : you can't.
People are quite a simple formula really.
Throw turds... you get turds thrown back at you.
Approach someone reasonably, they'll probably return the courtesy.
Repeating your logic over and over? Hmm, well, if they didn't think it was correct the first 35 times... They probably won't think its anymore correct by the 36th time. Especially when the approach hasn't changed. Hmm, they might not take that as reasonable, or logical anymore...
As Eistein so lovingly said.
1.bp.blogspot.com/-u8MM2zG3Or8/VS2YrdNT-mI/AAAAAAAACGo/HVTeLWI3i4c/s1600/0014_insanity_einstein_quote_960.jpg
Chrysalis's atempt take over is a total mess. Kinda the point though.
Also, I fail to see how my treatment of criticism is bad. The point of criticism is for improvement. You have plenty of suggestions for what you think are problems, but you don't offer solutions... atleast not consistantly. I suppose a few times you suggested I rewrite the whole thing. Though that doesn't really help much either...
I think this has strung out as long as it has simply cause you don't like being ignored. Which I've made a point of doing. If I found you're criticisms relevant then I would make changes. Fact of the matter is I don't... and apparently that bothers you for some reason. It bothers you enough that you simply can't leave me alone about it.
I've exercised patience, tolerance, and probably have been overly permissive of your constant derision.
So ya, I'll end with this.
I'm done with your lame accusations, poor logic, absent imagination, lack of substantial evidence, and general trash talk.
Post something overtly negative, and I'm done... your comment, lordofmyth, will be deleted. If you try and bring up the exact same issues, with oakofmarble, I will delete those too. We're almost to sixty chapters, and I don't want to spend large bouts of time to reconcile your lack of fore-thought or insight. You sir, are plenty guilty of knee-jerk reactions that add nothing of substantial nature.
Speak like a normal person if you have issues, Admiral Q Ponyform comes to mind, and you can continue to comment. But if you have nothing reasonable, or constructive to say... I'm not interested anymore.
6744213 danm that wall. But i still dont see y u still repliy 2 him y know it wont work right?
ps. love this chapter
6744390
... Ya, clearly it didn't work... Guess I'll have to carry out my warning then. Do you at least find my arguments partially sensible?
6744808
You clearly want to test the warning... you succeeded.
It would be just as easy to bust apart your reasoning again (since you repeat it so damn much)... but I'll keep to my word. Sematics isn't a bad way to argue btw. Here's the words definition.
Alright bye
6744982 yes i do
6744982 He clearly wasn't setting up his thoughts and criticisms properly, both in tone and execution.
But i cannot, either, say your arguments were very sensible. You keep on focusing on random and rather insignificant details. And i don't mean to use insignificant as a insult, but they are not very strong evidence for your concepts.
The concepts you brought up with me were questionable but i could understand their point and purpose. Here however, it seems you re struggling a bit and using the most minuscule details as proof. That does not create a convincing argument.
As for my 2 cents on the chapter, it is a mixture of off beat characterization, if not outright mischaracterization, and this all being very unsatisfying after all that build up. It honestly is. We had a good build of for potential conflict, and discord comes in and destroys the tension and build up. Its very, very anti-climatic.
In all honesty, an anticlimax is one of the worst things a writer can do.
As for repeating issues. I believe if the issues mentioned before are not in some way resolved by the narrative, they should be brought up cause they are still ongoing negative aspects. Discord being weaker than the collective power he is containing right now is such an issue. You cannot excuse it because you yourself use the idea of power levels, if more often than not in making chrysalis overcharged, and thus saying they are 'bullshit' is hypocritical when you take them into account yourself. And tirek's likely future inclusion rather ties your hand with the issue.
Poor Cady. Lucky she probably won, though.
Arg I shouldn't have bet my monies on Chyssi and Crone bein' the last two.
Anyway, nice chapter. I like that ending moment.
6745587
Yep. And I'm done letting him be sloppy and rude. He can learn to be polite somewhere else...
I'm not going to have strong evidence for everything. All I can do is take bits and pieces of the show and make inferences. As long as it doesn't majorly conflict with the show I'm fine. Or, sometimes I will make alterations on purpose, depending if it fits my purposes or not.
Frankly, I can't get all the answers to my questions from the show itself. That's part of the beauty of it. That's why there's so much creative potential in fanfiction for the show. Many things in canon are left deliberately obscure, so that they're open to interpretation. Somethings are less likely than others, but largely many aspects are debatable.
As far as insignificant evidences. Well... they're the best I could figure. If you're talking about something like that Chrysalis / Celestia little horn tussle. Then ya, that's just me expanding a lot off it, when it didn't really give us much information.
Here's the other issue with that though. There isn't exactly a whole lot of evidence proving Chysalis's physical abilities. There's just not. So what do I do? I make the best educated guess I can make with the pieces I have available. If there isn't much available, then I'll just have to come up with more filler information. Then, all that matters is I'm consistent with the information I've introduced.
I guess it depends what details you consider minuscle. But at least they are in fact, details. Sometimes the only thing to work with are small details (canon leaves lots of things very vague). But I'd take a few small details over no details any day. At least it's something.
Convincing is also a relative term. Some people are harder or easier to convince than others. Depends on the inherent stubbornness of the person we're talking about.
You don't have to buy into my ideas. Heck, The original idea "Chrysalis Wins" isn't super original. I'm far from the first to take a stab at it. All I wanted to do was take an approach I haven't seen done really, at least not to a level that satisfied me.
My take is different from your take, would be different from the next guys take. Difference is, I'm actually writing it. I don't know what quality you think you're entitled to from some random guy on the internet. But I'll be the first to say there are many more talented writers than me, on this very website. They'd probably do a better job if they did the same approach I'm trying. Though I just haven't seen anyone else do it. Not in expanded sense.
All I can offer is the best I can do. You judge it, then call it a day. Ultimately its just another random guy on the internet.
K... naturally i'm just going to do some characters better than others. The personalities are vastly different, and some characters I just don't understand/get as easily. So my guesses at their behavior would naturally be more rudimentary. LOL. If you would make a list, from best done to worst understood, what would your character rating totem pole look like for this chapter?
Now, as far as the anti-climax. If you're thirsty for blood and battle then I have a spoiler warning for you.
(SPOILER WARNING)
In Ch.60 you'll get to see exactly how that conflict/battle of the Crystal Empire would have gone down. Meaning the conflict as it would have happened if Ch.56 proceeded without Discord's appearance.
I agree with you that anti climaxes suck. That's only of many reasons why the "Twilight" series sucked. Book 4 was a load of bullocks. The movie ironically did a much better job with it than the book... But enough about "Twilight" (Shivers) let's not bring that up.
Not all the "issues" are going to be solved right away. Honestly lordofmyth frequently came across as simply impatient. Shellish for example. She wasn't around for more than two chapters, and he says she serves no purpose, then acts as if she will NEVER serve a purpose. As if I don't have something planned for here several chapters down the line... Because I do. I've always got plans. He just doesn't seem to understand that I'm not giving him all the answers right away. That stories don't work like that.
Sigh, apparently Discord taking them by surprise isn't a good enough reason. It's not like all 11 of those powerful beings were standing there ready and prepared for him to suddenly show up. Discord has previously been shown to subdue several parties at once, even powerful ones. If you don't want to take any of my previously explained reasons as evidence enough, then I don't really have anything more to say.
Oh gosh! THE AUTHOR IS BIASED! well guess what, you got that kind of author.
You think Discord couldn't do it... I think he could... The only difference is in the details we decide to show. And guess what, there are evidences for both of our cases in canon. That fact that both exist weakens the assertion that either answer is THE correct answer. Because the show has shown an inconsistency. When the show give us an inconsistency, you just have to choose which one you want to believe. It appears we chose different paths. I'll admit, I'm a bit of a Discord fanboy.
Now this doesn't mean I'm going to make Discord invincible. I can accept he does have weaknesses. Though I'm just putting him on a different scale than an alicorn... or alicorns. Especially when he got the first jump on them.
Power levels tehe. Chrysalis being over charged? Well heck ya, Chrysalis has been super charged for most of this fic (She's had so much acess to large amounts of resources). After her exposure to the Crystal Heart for a week she's more powerful than ever.
The reason power levels are brought up is because the concept can be rather inconsistant itself... DBZ being all kinds of notorious for things like that. Doesn't keep me from liking the show any less. I just accept it for what it is.
But hear me out for just a minute. Perhaps a theoretical example might help in understanding how Discord is doing what he does.
Can one strong person contain several people who are individually are weaker than him, but stronger collectively? physical restrain them and all that? ... well, it depends.
If this one strong person, even if he was very strong like gross strong, tried to contain 11 people by simply manhandling them, and try to grapple them all at once... then ofcourse he's going to fail. One person can't keep 11 people subdued... Some would just run away, others would fight back in blindspots etc etc.
Trying in an open field when your targets are aware you're there, and you didn't bring any tools, or restraints is the worst case, and unplausible scenario. His weaker opponents would be able to utilize all their advantages collectively against him.
Alright, so let's alter the scenario. Let's say instead of all 11 of the targets being up and aware of the strong man, none of them know he's there, or even what his intentions are.
This time strong man comes with several tools. He has a club, so he can knock them out, and he brought buttloads of duck tape, so he can hog-tie down the people he gets. Also he approaches at night, in a storm, so none of the 11 targets can even see or hear him coming.
Strong man takes them out one by one. Making sure he thoroughly binds each of his targets with duck tape, so they can't move, or even speak. He is individually much stronger and faster than any of the people he's subduing so his rate of success, especially with surprise, is very high, and his methods are very thorough, so chance of escape once he has them down are next to none.
Strong man evetually gets all 11 individual targets. he leaves them hog-tied and helpless, then drags them all into a ware house... Then strong man brings in his friends and they all start singing terrible kareoke all night to torture the duck-tape victims... for whatever reason.
Alright, So, in scenario 2, how hard would it be for strong man to maintain control? He has all 11 victims hog-tied and bound so they can't move or speak.
Granted those 11 targets might be more powerful (collectively) than strong man, but he got the jump on them, he has them all subdued. He doesn't have to do much to maintain his absolute advantage over them. Other than check the duck-tape every once and a while, and make sure it's fastened correctly.
Now just take that whole example, and use it as a metaphor for magic. Discord is individually more powerful than any of the 11 contestants, though not necessarily collectively stronger. However, He caught them all by surprise, and has the tools to keep them in submission. Now that he has them pinned, there isn't much they can do to fight back. They're magically ducktaped and gagged (metaphorically speaking). They're going to stay that way unless someone else comes in and changes the circumstance...
now, for TIREK TIREK TIREK TIREK TIREK
I'll definitely concede to the idea Tirek CAN get more powerful than Discord. The draconequus is not a constantly growing entity, therefore his potential can be surpassed by someone with exponential scaling, like Tirek.
In this story Tirek is going to have to about his snowball snowball snowball snowball snowball a little differently. I actually look forward to doing that arc. But it's going to take sometime before that actually happens. Tirek is at the very end of season four, so some time, and another arc between Discord and him will have to pass.
6746886 Bias is also a majorly dangerous thing in writing. A bias can easily and negatively impact your writing. And it has before in this story. Your bias towards the changelings has created satiation that is so one sided it is honestly implausible, both in their powers, and how they impacted equestria history. Especially considering their first appearance in the series has them winning by a handful of flukes,t he plan entailing they defeat two alicorns veterans, and Chrysalis largely winning cause she could not shoot herself in the hoof by boasting about her power boost. Cause we both know, she would have boasted about it. Its in her nature.
The bias thing has honestly been the downfall of your story since the beginning. You really haven't thought about the weaknesses a race of secretive shapeshifters reliant on secrecy would have, and how their powers balance against the ponies powers. OR what advantages the ponies have over the changelings.
I know i brought these things up before, but they are still the ongoing issue. The bias preventing your from making your story better.
As for discord, he is actually doing the Manhandle approach here. Think about it. His magic has to overcome the magic in all their bodies, and we are talking about the majority of them being shapeshifters, even luna. He has to warp their bodies to try and disable their magic.
I just seems that it would classify as manhandle.
6747470
...lol. I merely mention bias, and you fly off the handle.
Lecture me like I don't know what it is, or what effects it can have. 
Forget that there are degrees of bias, or that things can still be relatively accurate even if there is a little bias. Or that EVERYONE posses some kind of bias... /shoehorn old repetitive rants.
sigh. So one sided it's implausible? lol, what a joke. Canon don't say crap about 90% of the nature of the changeling species (They say they eat love, and can change shape... that's it...). Guess what, that means there's a lot of room to insert what I like.
, then I say you don't have much ground to go on. Especially since the backstory is totally open to interpretation.
This is an AU where i decided to give the changelings more of an ACTUAL background, which in canon we get like zip, zero, NOTHING. So naturally i'm going to have to come up with more on their nature.
If you keep wanting to say changelings should be weak... even their royals
Also, plenty of predators use camoflague (aka changing their appearance)Ever hear the term "wolf in sheep's clothing?" hmm, the wolf isn't really considered weaker than the sheep... The point of the disguise is simply surprise, or to infiltrate. Even if you're naturally a stronger party, stealth can advantage you in terms of effort and effectiveness. You could ofcourse come charging in like an idiot, and still do damage, you are stronger after all. But there are many advantages to using cunning. It's just another tool in the box.
Now, about the pony power... Celestia wasn't the only underwhelming pony in Canterlot. In show, in canon. A PREPARED Canterlot, stationed with all the royal guard, still lost to Chrysalis's army. They knew they were coming at that point too, the changelings were banging away on Shining's big ol' shield. The guard definitely saw it coming... They still lost... that doesn't make me think too highly of them.
Also, I don't know if you're trying to make Celestia sound better than she is... she still lost to Chrysalis (When Chrysalis only had Shining's love, and she didn't understand her level of power yet). I'm going to go on a limb here and say, If Chrysalis can beat Celestia, she can DEFINITELY beat Luna. Luna who's been doing jack on the moon for a thousand years... Kinda would make her a little rusty compared to her solar sister, wouldn't ya think?
Ya, naturally Chrysalis boasts at times. The difference is she didn't do it just this once. She put away Shining Armor and Cadance, and the element bearers before they could do something.
Thus... wait for it... THE PREMISE OF THE ENTIRE FIC... it's not that Chrysalis doesn't have pride anymore. She's just largely justified with it. She beat Celestia as a springboard to becoming more powerful than ever. Does that make her the most powerful? No, but she's definitely high enough up there to confidently beat 99% of Equestria in a smackdown.
lol... Then why are you interested if the very story description... THE STORY DESCRIPTION! which apparently makes you roll your eyes and call bullcrap.
Also, the weaknesses of the changeling race? YOU ARE CLEARLY IGNORING IN STORY EVIDENCE! You're flat out ignoring it. You're just being lazy, disregarding, and dismissive. OR, if you are aware the evidence is there, you just ingore it for your convience... That really kills my desire to engage in anymore conversation with you. Cause all you do is come in here, twist vocabulary a little bit to suit your needs. But ultimately your logic isn't much stronger than lordofmyth's reasoning abilities. So much of what you say is still personal assertions, assertions that don't carry weight in an AU fic that has already established it's norms. Whatever, back to the point...
So what if Changelings happen to have the means to physically/magically beat down on the ponies.The changeling's strength is also their weakness. They require love to fuel their very power, their very ability to live. Avalanche was your example for how devastating ponies could be if they pressed this weakness. All changelings would die off, and it wouldn't even take a generation. Ponies just have to hate more than they love.
Changeling power scaling is totally dependent on the pony emotions available. There's a reason Chrysalis picked Equestria over anywhere else in the world.
As for Discord, he is actually doing the duct-tape approach. Magic and curses aren't always %100 visible. Also, Discord's specific abilities aren't %100 percent explained. I've given you a context, and answer. Yet nothing satisfies you. You're just being negative Nancy.
Also, so what if they have magic in their bodies. They can't use it. Being shapeshifters doesn't change circumstances if their ability to use magic is null and void.
As a last word. Stop ignoring stuff. You have no right to complain about bias in this story, because your bais is even more radically overt. Especially when that bias is evident in unrelenting complaints, and total dismissal of alternate explanations.
You may be more polite than lordofmyth (a little) but the demeanor is only slightly better, and the logic barely more sound.
6747684 Seems rather like manhandling. He is altering their bodies against their will. He does that to many things, but few things have the magical muscle to resist him. We know he is incapable of directly altering the elements of harmony. He can steal them, true, but it seems unlikely he could affect them otherwise. So how come such a thing cannot apply to magically powerful creatures?
As for me going on a rant, you simply brought up one of the major issues of your story and i wanted to exemplify it. Biases impact a narrative. That goes the same for saying that Celestia is 'unimpressive'. That is the same contrived bias anyone who looks down on her has. They confuse the narrative issues of her being so powerful with her actually being weak. It is both unfair and rather illogical.
If we need any proof of Celestia's power, its that equestria stands today even after a thousand years. Without her sister, without the elements of harmony. Alone.
The recent finale has the sensibility of having the very first timeline be one where Celestia is fighting the enemy, but their powers are too evenly match for decisive victory.
And i am not ignoring anything, or leaving anything out. You do not given substantial weaknesses to the changelings. They always seem to overcome the ponies no matter who or what they are even with lower level changelings against high tier threats.
And just because they have litle history or detail does not mean one should fill equestria's history with changelings and nullify all potential accomplishments the ponies have done in the past. It is quite jarring.
6748529
And this is where I stop caring. I could ofcourse go on an shoot down your "logical" explanations for the biased crap they are. But I'm done with poorly constructed arguments.
If you can't see the gaping holes in your own reasoning, then I'm not going to point it out for you anymore. You're not reasonable, so how can I expect a decent exchange anyway?
I will say your fanboyism of Celestia is quite funny. I could point out just as many things that make her look silly.
Just flat out denial. Its so obvious, and that's why I don't want to bother anymore. You're not worth writing anymore 1k-2k word answers. You're simply not worth it.
You know what... Shame on you. SHAME ON YOU. How dare you try to tell me what I should and shouldn't do in and alternate universe. You undermine and disgrace the very idea and purpose of AU fics all together. What's the point of changelings and why are they scary? They're scary because they can be anyone! The fact they can do that should make you question whether anyone is actually who they say they are. It should make you question if history really went down the way you thought it happened. It should make you question everything. Because now you can't be sure of anything that's happened previously.
How dare you call me out for bias when you're so obviously more biased than I am. How dare you insult logic and reason by being repetitive and utterly unadaptive when counter arguments are brought up.
Stop pretending you're any better than lordofmyth because you happened to edit your profanity. Honestly it feels quite insulting you think you're making a better argument, when all you do is say the same things in a different way. Sometimes it's almost word-for-word. You just take out the cussing.
Please, just go spend some time practicing you argumentation somewhere else. I've thrown more than enough time trying to help you see reason. Only to be frustrated by your self absorbed blindness.
Good bye...
6748998 You know that's just lordofmyth's alt account right? anyway I'm not going to bother trying to understand his logic( I have too many healthy brain cells for that) he/she is banned now so good riddance!
Nice little early Christmas gift for ya huh.
6754565
It's banned
... How do you know?
Anyway hurray!
and merry Christmas to you too!
6754565
that's why those two single-minded people seemed so similar
Super... SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH ROYALS!
(What, did nobody else get it?)
From now on, all wars settled in Smash Royals matches...
As an aside to the massive trolling argument to this chapter.
Celestia can be as strong as, or as weak as one desires to fit the story. If I were writing and I decided she was One Buck Mare, then she'd be friggin' One Buck Mare. I would only concern myself with ensuring that I portrayed her consistently throughout the story.
Same for Cadance, Discord, Chrissy, or any original characters brought up to fill roles.
Anyone tells me I'm 'doing it wrong' can go write their own story. It's fiction. We can take it any direction we want.
6755048 someone gave you a thumbs down on your Xmas greatings... pathetic.
Anyways... please post a new story soon!
6825934
Srry!
I typed out a large chunk of the next chapter yesterday, and I'm sitting down to do it again today! 4k words along so far, probably gonna be another 7k + type chapter.
Oh, and do you mean a new story? or just another chapter?
Holidays proved to be much more of a distraction that I was counting on.
6827875 Chapter!