Ch.24 "The Great and Powerful" part 1
Eh, i was going to stuff a lot more stuff into this chapter, but i prefer to proof-read in smaller chunks. So i'm spreading it between a few chapters.
Time to battle,
Chrysalis Wins
Ch.24 “The Great and Powerful” part 1
“That was a warning… Give up now, and I promise I’ll go easy on you.”
A short distance outside of Ponyville, at the boundary where Trixie’s barrier had been, was a large crater. This crater still smoked with fresh scorch marks and simmered with green residue. The blue unicorn, who was not but a few yards away from it, had her mane blasted sideways in an unkempt and comical manner. She also was splattered with bits of earth, which dirtied her coat. Her face was obscured by the mess of her white and muddy mane.
Red light glowed from underneath the mess of her white mane, at the same time the amulet about her neck glowed as well. A small wave of red aura brushed away the dirt that messed up her fur and mane, and some effort went to make sure she straightened out the dirtied white locks. The result still left her rather scuffled in appearance.
“You wish to intimidate the Great and Powerful Trixie? Your punishment will be worse for this.”
With purple eyes that turned red, she glared at the taller unicorn. The sinister and confident smirk was no longer on her blue muzzle, replaced instead with a darker purse of the lips, and distinguished narrow eyes.
As fast as a quick draw, Trixie shot a beam of red energy directly at her tall brown opponent. It would have easily blasted a fully loaded cart far away, and the blue unicorn expected this to knock down the overly tall equine.
Even as the blast of crimson energy hurled forward a wall of green fire erupted through the air. As the two forces collided there was a great deal of smoke and sparkles of magical shards. This lit up the local area with a shower of red-green sprinkles that would have been perfect for a Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant.
When the smoke and bright lights settled, the wall of green flames had held it’s ground, and waved about merrily. The ground immediately around the giant equine was wind whipped, while the grass had been burnt off the surface, but nothing otherwise too dramatic…
Trixie saw her opponent was unphased by the attack, so she made an irritated ‘humph’ noise as she grunted indignantly. Enigma walked forward, a rather bored expression stretched over her wide mouth.
“Please, who would call you Great and Powerful besides yourself? Is that cheap trinket what makes you think you’re worth anything?”
This made the sky colored mare widen her eyes furiously, her pursed lips devolved into a snarl and she growled. Her hooves angrily stamped on the ground, and she appeared ready to charge. That reaction in turn brought a smile to Enigma’s face, as she continued to stalk towards her smaller prey.
“You think you’re clever don’t you, but Trixie hasn’t even shown you what she is really capable of. She will make you beg before this is over.”
As the white maned mare spoke several giant saw blades were conjured and floated in the air. Each of these giant pieces of metal was more than twice the height of the chocolate unicorn. One of them landed in between the two equines and buried itself deep in the ground. This stopped Enigma in the middle of her forward stalk, and she cocked an eyebrow. Did this little blue brat want things to get lethal?
The rest of the giant blades also impaled the ground, and ended up in a wide circle. The brown giant cast another wall of green flames around herself, and waited for the next inevitable attack. She sighed, and kept an eye on the amulet possessed unicorn.
Trixie’s red cast eyes gazed at the saw blades, and with a flash, they started to move up and down, and around. A neat circle was cut around Enigma, who looked at the activity with confusion, and when the blades finished their job they disappeared.
“Are you trying to garden? Dolt?”
Enigma still had her defensive wall of fire up, and Trixie wore an angry smile. Red magic flashed and a large shovel appeared, it speared the loose ground underneath the giant brown unicorn. One neat flip later, and the immediate area around the magically shielded unicorn was flipped upside down.
A mound of earth buried Enigma, and her wall of fire was smothered. Now that Trixie’s opponent had disappeared underneath a large upturned mound of earth she lifted a hoof to brush herself off. Some dirt still clung to her chest which the magic hadn’t removed. She spoke with a snarky snide tone.
“Oh, what was that? Trixie can’t hear you under all that dirt. Maybe if she hears your cries of defeat, Trixie can plant you somewhere else…”
Trixie tapped the ground with a hoof, as if she knocked at a door. Then she brought her head close to the ground, one ear perked up, and she waited to hear some kind of telltale moan. What she heard instead was some kind of rumble. This was not what she wanted to hear, and she frowned, the rumble got closer and louder.
“Give up already, Trixie commands you!”
The ground burst apart right next to the blue unicorn, and two giant hooves wreathed in green energy braced on the edges of the newly formed hole. The azure mare had shielded her face from the explosion of dirt with a hoof, but she lowered it quickly and looked down into this fresh tunnel. Two lurid green eyes glared up at her from the darkness.
This was when Trixie discovered how far Enigma’s freakishly long limbs could reach. One enormous hoof caught her over the side of her barrel, and dragged her down into the dark mysterious pit. A loud shriek of surprise came from the smaller unicorn, as the incident of the explosion of dirt, and her being grabbed, occurred all in one moment.
Two young unicorn colts stood off to the side, jaws hung loose in shock and awe. The taller yellowish one shook himself to his senses, and prodded the shorter grey one. As dorky as a panicked dorky voice could be, he addressed his shorter companion.
“We gotta go Snips, I don’t wanna be this close for the next explosion!”
“But it’s so… cool! I mean, I wanna see who comes out of that hole first!”
“But Snips!”
“C’mon Snails, just a little longer.”
“But Snips!”
The ground rumbled intensely, and the short, squat, grey unicorn felt his hooves bounce slightly away from the ground. A bead of sweat ran down the side of his head, but it was an awesome bead of sweat, as in the kind of sweat he felt when in possible mortal peril. He also had the excited tingle in his spine that said he was about to witness something spectacular if he stayed.
“Okay… maybe one or two steps back, but I still need to see this.”
The two of them popped off their chariot harnesses and walked away backwards, so they could keep an eye towards the tunnel. They only made it a few steps, before the spectacular thing happened.
With a screech and whistle that echoed throughout Ponyville and beyond, a bundle of rockets shot out of the tunnel. Behind the primary rockets was a trail of lesser fireworks that spun off in random directions and created a myriad of sparkly colors and lights.
Firecrackers, Fireworks, FireSsnakes, fire cakes, fire flowers, fire powers, fire flies, fire ties, fire beads, fire seeds, fire bands, fire sands, fire bears, fire mares and fiery fire fired out in an unending stream from the tunnel.
The overwhelming array of colors that flashed about nearly sent Snips into a seizure, as his eyes could barely process the sight of mythic proportions in front of him, and he drooled slightly. Snails blinked and missed it.
Though the screech of the primary rockets diverted both of their attention, both of the young unicorns snapped their necks towards it, and they could have sworn some other pony was strapped to the bundle of large fireworks. As they saw some legs flail off of the sides. It continued to sail off, directly over the top of Ponyville, and kept going upward.
A noisy cough came from the side, which diverted Snips and Snails attention away from the sky, back towards the tunnel, which had calmed down, and was no longer a source of optical amazement.
No, rather, an unsightly azure unicorn crawled out of the tunnel, and dragged herself forward with her two front hooves. She was splayed out on her belly as her two hind legs dragged limply behind her. Her coat and mane were a total muddy mess.
She also had a large black eye, or more accurately, a black half of her face that was bruised over. Enigma’s hoof was much larger than just Trixie’s eye. She spat out a tooth.
“Wretched, filthy, foul mongrel, Trixie has shown you!”
One of her hooves was raised and angrily trashed in the direction of the sky bound rockets and their strapped on victim. Despite her roughed up face, she made a sadistic smile.
“Ow…”
Smiling hurt.
Both Snips and Snails rushed over to their fallen overlord, danger was apparently gone at the moment, and the sight of Trixie in such a state was rather pitiable.
“Trixie are you okay?”
“Back off numbskulls! Trixie is more than ok!"
The azure mare strained as she lifted herself to all four hooves. It took a moment to stabilize, but she managed. She saw the tooth on the ground and grabbed it with her magic. It was roughly shoved back up into her gums where it had snapped off. She growled at the pain, but continued to seal it back in there.
After that she conjured a large ice pack, and pressed it against her face and groaned. One eye looked up to the sky, the rockets should blow at any second now.
“Try to mug Trixie in a dark hole will you… Enjoy being part of the show, Enigma…”
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
A blinding flash of light crossed the air, and every pony in Ponyville shielded their eyes. This was followed by an enormous concussive wave of noise, which rattled every pony to their bones, and many hearts skipped a beat as it passed.
In a dazzling display beyond measure, light works danced over the sky in a way that would put auroras to shame. This caused the Great and Powerful Trixie to nod with approval. She thought back in retrospect, she should have come across this amulet earlier, her shows would have been without compare.
A half smile crossed over the uninjured side of her face. Too bad it took this big brown unicorn to bring it out of her. The amulet continued to glow, and burned her irises over with red malevolence.
The spark of dark ambitions started to crawl over her mind, the Great and Powerful Trixie deserved to be respected in more than just the little town of Ponyville… yes… She should be respected over all of Equestria. She started to cackle evilly.
“Trixie will beat any pony that challenges her, and all will fear her great and powerful name, muwahahahahaha!”
---
A few moments earlier -
Enigma struggled against the ropes that bound her to the cacophonous rockets. Every time she struggled the ropes only got tighter, like some kind of constrictive snake. They were strong as cords of iron, and worked against her impressive strength.
She roared in frustration, the trail of heat from the rocket’s tail singed the hair on her own tail, and was an unpleasant reminder she had little time to act before the whole bundle went off.
She thought about simply burning the ropes, but that might prematurely set off the rockets, and she would rather not deal with that. Then another idea popped into her head, a laughably simple one...
Green magic flashed and her form quickly shrank. Chrysalis resumed her normal form, but at one third of the size, and now the rope’s durability didn’t matter, she simply slipped out of the bindings. Immediately she plummeted down a good ways before her wings buzzed to life and kept her from a free fall all the way down. There was she still a great deal of turbulence, and her descent was far from graceful.
This was somewhat of an inconvenience. She wanted to keep that disguise to lull the inhabitants into some kind of workable trust. Maybe if they saw her disguise as the liberator of their town, she could work them into a favorable opinion of the queen. Also she could get a surprise jump on the Elements of Harmony, if they were still here. Now she would just have to appear as the stern queen again… She sighed.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Chrysalis hadn’t moved from where she had caught herself in the air, and was swept away in the explosion of the mega fireworks.
---
Shortly after the explosion in Ponyville, outside the Golden Oaks Library -
Applejack had stumbled backwards in surprise from the sudden shock wave of noise. Next to her and equally surprised were the rest of her friends. Once the wave had past and the fiery colors dimmed down, a shower of sparks hailed over most of Ponyville.
The little pieces of light bounced off this and that, and while they burned brightly, they contained little heat. Only one nearby home had it’s thatch roof catch on fire. It was kind of impressive, considering the volume of sparks that showered the town. Still, some pony shouted.
“My house!”
The orange earth pony blinked a few times after the sparks had stopped, and lowered a hoof she had used to shield her face. Her hat wasn’t present, and she hadn’t been able to replace it since she had gotten free. Everything had been crazy and disorienting the moment she was plopped back here, and she hadn’t been able to get her hooves under her, so to speak.
“Ya’ll right girls?”
She turned to the other four mares present. None of which looked particularly bothered by the sparks, and each of them gave their acknowledgement.
“MmmmHmmmm”
Pinkie still hadn’t gotten her muzzle back yet from Trixie’s earlier removal spell. Her eyes drooped and were heavy with tiredness. She had danced for Trixie’s entertainment for hours the other day, and she hadn’t been able to eat anything since then, evident by her stomach growling. Now that the pink mare thought about it, she hadn’t been able to eat anything since the invasion at Canterlot. Though she had been able to eat as much as she wanted in her dream stasis, dream food wasn’t real food.
“I’m fine darling.”
Rarity confirmed.
“I’m o-okay.”
Mumbled Fluttershy.
“The hay is going on? Why’s the barrier gone? What’s with the huge fireworks? I thought Trixie was making us her entertainment… Oh, and hey! And what about our plan to tell Twilight about that amulet?”
Rainbow Dash jumped into the air, did a few back flips, and then spread her front hooves wide in a gesture to encompass everything in front of her. Her cyan hooves indicated towards the remnants of the drifting smoke in the air, and the barrier free status of Ponyville.
“Do you think you can go spy out what’s going on Dash?”
Applejack walked up to her cyan friend and tapped her hind leg with a hoof.
“Ya, gimme a sec, I’ll be right back.”
In a dash, Rainbow was gone, she had grabbed a cloud so she could advance in cover. With that in progress AJ turned to the pink, yellow, and white mares.
“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m done bein’ a prisoner. Don’t care whether it’s changelings or some unicorn who’s lost her marbles. We might be able to make a break for it if Trixie’s sufficiently distracted.”
“I agree, but we’ll need to find Twilight too dear, she could be lost or pursued out there.”
“We’ll make a move when Dash comes back. Then we can look for Twi’.”
There were some soft sniffles over to the side, and Applejack looked for source. It was Fluttershy, who sat on her haunches with her head hung low, her mane obscured her face, and AJ thought she could see a tear drop or two. A slight sympathetic frown came across the orange mare’s face, and she moved over to sit down next to distressed friend.
“There, there Fluttershy, what’s the matter?”
The sniffles paused for a moment, the yellow pegasus raised a wing to part her mane enough to let one eye see through. Her voice quivered and conveyed just how upset she was.
“W-what’s not the matter Applejack? W-we don’t get five minutes back with you before Trixie shows up and banishes Twilight. Rainbow, Rarity and I got away from the changelings, not even two days ago. And, and, the poor princesses, and every pony is just plain terrified, and, and-“
“Sshhhh, it’ll be ok Shy, we just need to be calm right now, and be ready to move. I’m sure we can figure something out, but we need to get somewhere more secure first.”
The earth pony gave the pegasus a pat on the back, and ran a hoof over her shoulders in a friendly manner to sooth her. Rarity and Pinkie also moved to sit down next to Fluttershy, and they all joined in an embrace of consolation. Just as Fluttershy’s sniffles started to successfully die down, a loud impact interrupted the otherwise peaceful occasion.
THUD!
A black smoke wreathed mass crashed at the entrance of the Golden Oaks Library, and cracked the ground with it’s forceful landing. Dirt blew up from the ground and wailed past the circle of friends, who crouched defensively against the surprise attack of noise and dust.
They all coughed a bit, and the dust settled rather quickly. Fluttershy curled up into a ball and shivered uncontrollably, and AJ jumped to her hooves, ready to inspect whatever had nearly hit them.
At the point of impact there was an infuriated growl and hiss, a slight shuffle of movement gave indication something alive was there. Each of the colorful mares started to back away from this mysterious new creature, which had survived a fall from the sky.
“Gahh! I’m going hang you with that amulet Trixie!”
Chrysalis arose from the midst of the little crater, and her tall form loomed out of the shallow surface. Her blue green mane and tail were singed all about, and blackened at the tips, and she had lost her crown somewhere in the tumble. The rest of her chitinous hide hissed as slight embers were shaken off her flame licked body.
Her eyes had reddened around her green irises, and her muzzle was pulled up in a fearsome snarl, sharp fangs fully exposed. Her posture was that of a predator on the hunt, with her head slightly lowered, and legs curled and ready to pounce.
It didn’t take long for her to notice the ponies that trembled next to her, and who stared with wide terrified eyes.
“You…”
Four of the ponies connected to the Elements of Harmony were right there in front of her. None of them had budged yet, and appeared to wait for a sign. Chrysalis hadn’t immediately jumped on them, and seemed rather surprised they were right there.
“Grr, I’ll deal with all of you later, I need more eyes.”
With a flash of white magic from her eyes and horn, the queen blared out a mental message to the changelings that waited under the surface of Ponyville.
“It’s time to show up!”
Dozens of locations across Ponyville were disturbed by sudden eruptions of the earth. The process occurred the same in many locations. First a drone would break through, and expand the exit with their ability to dig rapidly, then behind the drone would follow a sentinel and vanguard.
The appearance of a hundred changelings all over Ponyville was another source off panic in of itself. Many of the citizens fearfully backed away, and those that tried to fight were quickly subdued by the sentinel and vanguard cohorts.
One set of changelings appeared particularly close to the queen’s location. As had been with every other set, there was a drone, vanguard, and sentinel. The Sentinel of this group had notably red rimmed eyes, and wore a smug smile on his fanged muzzle. Carve approached Chrysalis and noticed the four ponies she stared at.
“My queen, your orders?”
Her large double iris eyes briefly looked away from the element ponies to the sentinel who addressed her, but her gaze ventured back to the ponies before she answered him.
“Keep these ponies secured, they are high priority prisoners. Otherwise, we are not imprisoning this town, nor are we free range feeding.”
“This sentinel will make it happen my queen.”
Carve’s arrogant tone made Chrysalis cock an eyebrow at him. She was rather used to Vivisect’s dutiful, professional tone and manners. This new approach threw her off slightly, and she grunted with disapproval.
“Vanguards, spread out and keep a careful eye. I don’t want that horrid unicorn to simply vanish from here, I want to personally deal with her. Otherwise the rest of the sentinels and drones come with me.”
She barked her order at the three changelings in front of her, and they in turn relayed the messages to the other local members of the swarm. When that was complete the queen buzzed her wings, and readied to take off. The hot headed sentinel spoke up again, and laid the pandering talk on even more zealously.
“I’ll have them put in new cocoons right away my Queen”.
He turned towards the nearby drone with a pompous air, and shoved the smaller changeling, then indicated towards the other four pony mares. The drone hissed angrily for being shoved, and irritably started to work the magic and slime to form new cocoons.
A loud stomp stopped the actions even as they went forward. Chrysalis’s loud voice carried through the air.
“No, I don’t want them wrapped up yet. After I deal with the rogue unicorn I want to question them personally, just keep them here, and use a careful eye.”
Carve deflated a little that his initiative was interrupted, but he turned quickly on the ponies and leveled his red rimmed eyes at them. He started to circle them like some ferocious guard dog.
“None of you are going to move from this spot.”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes at the overly ambitious changeling, his pride would get in the way of his job, and she could easily see it. She mentally sent a message to a few other nearby sentinels, so they would gather at this spot, she didn’t trust Carve to handle this all by himself.
Hopefully there were other sentinels that would be a better candidate to be the new head. It had been a while since she had done a rigorous review of that division’s members. Vivisect had typically kept the sentinels in top shape as a group… Vivisect… Every time she thought back to her damaged councilor she ground her teeth in frustration.
“Come here, and go about my previous orders.”
The queen pointed at the drone and vanguard and reminded them of what she wanted. The vanguard buzzed off towards the boundary of Ponyville, and formed part of a massive circle with the other vanguards. No pony would escape without being spotted by the numerous sets of eyes.
The local drone otherwise buzzed into the air, to follow wherever the queen would go. A loud buzz signaled that Chrysalis was ready to fly again, and take to the air she did. A mix of over fifty drones and sentinels approached her as she soared over Ponyville, and towards the direction she had last scuffled with Trixie.
Bringing all the assistance along was overkill, but she wanted to be prepared in case something else caught her off guard. Even though the power the azure unicorn mare had displayed was impressive, Chrysalis picked up the feeling that she wasn’t even as strong as Celestia. At the moment, Chrysalis was still much stronger than when she had initially defeated the Solar Princess.
The scuffle up until this point was a mild test, as a changeling never fought as well when they were in disguise. It was a distraction to both maintain a guise and cast other spells, or fight properly. Now she would pummel her opponent into submission with focused precision. Maybe she could do a few extra pummels for good measure…
Stats
Page generated in 0.074 seconds
Total duration
1,027 users online
221,346 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
........ sighs. you ev en had the mouth removal thing dude? seriously? there is no logical way for this all to happen.
and nope, applejack would NOT help her in this case. or at least rarity would stop her short. cause it would be a monstrous benefit that for them to have chrysalis weaken herself against trixie in this state. because they are both intelligent enough to realize, hey, maybe they should act strategically here.
this has been an issue since the first few chapters. along with the half dozen or so other major issues with this story, from its pacing, to discord sombra, to replicating events even when logically they could nto be replicated.
i ve been enjoying this story a lot so far and i really hope the next chapter comes soon !
i wonder if twilight is going to show up during their fight
trixie's giant fireworks explosion probably could be seen from anywhere in equestria.
as for applejack helping Chrysalis if she tried something right now Chrysalis could probably
do something to the citizens since she has the bearers on her custody again(for now at least)
twilight could show up and help them escape while shes distracted i guess
Is Trixie asking she's okay or not..?
6012955
Don't like, don't read. Honestly, with the amount of time you put into whining about stories that you think are 'written wrong', you could have written your own full-length story to show others the 'right' way to do it. On the other hoof, those who can't do tell those who can that they are wrong (I think that's how the saying goes).
6013100 dude, we have sombra doing a discord impression, the mane six SOMEHOW all ending up in ponyville, near identical events to the episode magic duel occurring despite the changeling invasion, and characters making it easy for chrysalis in a story that needs chrysalis to struggle, and a severe lack of pacing.
even if i wasn't writing my own story, which i am (and those same nitpicky traits are delaying it, though college work was another factor), it pretty clear this story is a mess.
still it is a mess that has potential as a narrative, but it is not being tapped into. that definitely sets it above most of the other stories i've critiqued.
Dayum, that barrage by Trixie.
made Chrysalis
I am not here
Hmm, how do you grind fangs?
Hmm, wonder what Sombra's thinking of all this.
6013235 You do realize that this story would be extremely boring if it wasn't a so- called mess? There would be no life to the story. Oh, and the "Dude" at the beginning of your comment should be uppercased.
6013012
Trixie is asking snips and snails a rhetorical question. She's beat up and dragged herself out of a pit.
"Do I look okay!" - not so much a question as much as a sarcastic quip at them for asking a question with an obvious answer.
Trixie talking in third person doesn't help it come across as particularly clear I suppose
6013701
Grinding fangs...
Um, I guess you rub them up and down instead of side to side?
Lol metaphors...
Also fixed the sentences btw
6013766
But then, wouldn't it be like...
Unless you meant her to say something like...
6013235 If the story is such a mess, why are you still reading it? If you're still following it, does that mean you secretly like it?
6013093
Thanks for pointing those things out
This story is definitely a work in progress. I proof read the chapters once or twice before publishing them, though I still miss things.
I also am no professional
and I have a weakness in wordiness. Though that's something I'm also working to proof read and simplify.
Again thank for your comment, and concern for the quality of this fic.
6013804
Is it ok if I use that? I'll edit it right in.
6013865 Sure! By all means
6013825 mainly because it does have a lot of potential. messy as it is, there is a lot of competence in the writing and potential in several of the ideas.
the issue is execution. the pacing, the use of characters and concepts. especially with this trixie arc, where we inexplicably have all the mane six in one place. it seems that he is trying to work off what was in the episode rather than make something NEW out of it like he did the sombra incident.
heck that whole luna fight was pointless since she just ends up captured again and the changelings suffer at most one median loss. and she would have ended up vanished by sombra and it ultimately makes that entire escape meaningless.
i also mentioned my confusion with the whole sombra thing.
i actually had interst near the start of it all. but around the luna escape things went down hill. it gets more and more confused each chapter. put simply, i can tell there is a story that i would like in all of this. but it got itself lost and confused at some point.
6013975 True, this story had a lot of potential of being better than it is now. And I mean that with no disrespect to the Author.
I really like the story for currently being the better 'What if Chrysalis Won' stories out there, even though it throws in a lot of sub-plots and random plot devices that could've been written better.
However, this is still arkolo's story and the way arkolo want it to be, so there's really not much we can do besides point out grammar mistakes and visible plot-holes. This story still has the potential for being good, provided we take the changes (including Sombra's uncharacteristic traits) with a grain of salt.
Why do some people actually like Trixie? I seriously don't understand why.
6014108 I like Trixie for her rivalry with Twilight (a trait the show sadly didn't use as much).
After the dule is over I think the negotiations of the mane 6 what to do there place on ponyville.
I say negotiations are over. Fry the bugs, force the queen to watch, then squash her like the insect she is.
I'm positive Discord will (eventually) be set free and go with that option.
Captured again. Seriously? Here is hoping Chrysalis isn't as interested in food sources as keeping the population quiet. Because imprisoning and feeding is sure to keep them quiet. But then I half expect Sombra to show up and play rescuer again.
Nice tactics. The changelings showing up reminded me of this
The only thing that was a bit weak was the dialogue - especially Chrsalis speaking with the Mane Six could have used more detail. Maybe some more doubts or not all of them at first agreeing with Applejack. On the whole the chapter was well tought out but felt a bit rushed.
6021019
Ya, i think i could go back and expand on that diagloue segment a bit more. I changed it like 3-4 times before i published it, I knew that was going to be a tricky sucker
I guess i struggle between want of wanting to post frequently and trying to manage irl distractions. Thanks to your comments, at least I can figure out what to wrinkle through when I go back for clean up.
>>>Fire crackers, fire wackers, fire snakes, fire cakes, fire flowers, fire powers, fire flies, fire ties, fire beads, fire seeds, fire bands, fire sands, fire bears, fire mares, fire birds, fire words, fire nonsense, fire treats, fire beats, fire whips, fire tips, fire songs, fire bombs, fire fighters, fire lighters, fire springs, fire wings, fire worms, fire burns, fire water, fire slaughter, fire frogs, fire bogs, fire fire, and fiery fire fired out in an unending stream from the tunnel.
… you seem to have a thing for fire...
used*
Wait... they had a break? What?
I miss Vivisect... Damn you Luna.
8820558
Heh, love that moment of the show. I'm honored that you contextualized it here.