Ch.23 "Duel.. or is it?"
Chrysalis Wins
Ch.23 “Duel… or is it?”
A tall grey pony stallion inconspicuously strode along the streets of Ponyville. The oversized top hat, shades, and heavy black trench coat were prime signals of just how common he was. The fact he was head and shoulders taller than the ponies he strode next to didn’t catch any gazes, neither did the fangs that hung slightly out of his mouth draw any attention. Yes, this stallion was totally normal and no pony needed to pay him any mind.
“Hey auntie, what’s with that weirdo?”
The red eyes behind the large shades shot towards the direction of the little voice. A purple unicorn filly with blonde mane pointed at him, while she tugged on the wing of a grey pegasus, who also had a blonde mane. The pegasus mare turned to the little filly, and booped her snoot with a wing.
“Dinky that’s rude, we don’t call other ponies weirdo.”
After she scolded the young unicorn, the pegasus turned to the one dubbed “weirdo”. Even though she had a lazy eye, the pegasus could immediately tell something was off, all she saw was a black wall. Then she looked up, and gasped.
“Oh…”
The black wall was a trench coat, attached to a much, much larger pony, who had fangs! Worse, he looked down her, well, she couldn’t really tell, not with those huge shades, but his snout was pointed at her.
“Is something the matter dear?”
A brown earth pony stallion with hourglass cutie mark trotted over to grey pegasus mare with curiosity in his eyes, he saw she looked up at something, and he followed her line of sight. His eyes went wide, and he took a step back.
“Oh…”
The inconspicuousness didn’t work with this group apparently, and this brought a frown to the giant stallion’s fanged muzzle. His next move was to put on a charming smile and speak to the small group, who all stared at him with some kind of gross fascination.
“Don’t mind me, just passing by.”
His bass voice must have thrown them off as well, because it didn’t deflect the stares. The unicorn filly tugged on her auntie’s wing, and pointed towards the “disguised” stallion again, while she giggled.
“Hehehe, make him say something else auntie, I haven’t heard a pony talk that low before.”
The giant grey stallion backed off and walked in the opposite direction. He didn’t want to talk to other ponies, and his appearance still attracted their attention. He would normally growl angry curses at this point, but instead found himself simply muttering.
“How unfortunate…”
To his relief, the small group of ponies didn’t follow him as he retreated towards an alleyway, despite the whines of the little unicorn. He could still hear a few of their words before he rounded a corner.
“No Dinky, we don’t follow around weirdos.”
SMACK!
“Hey, what was that for?”
The earth pony stallion now rubbed the back of his head with a hoof. The mare with uneven eyes glared at him angrily.
“Hooves! I just got through telling her not to call other ponies weirdo.”
“There’s a time and place for certain words, and I think it applies here.”
“Not in front of Dinky, we need to talk later…”
“But-”
“No, not if you want me to cook tonight.”
The argument died there, and the giant pony got to a place that was more obscured. Now that he was out of sight from the main streets he settled down into the alley he occupied. A red glow illuminated the inside of the ridiculous top hat, and the silhouette of a curved horn could be seen.
As the glow continued, red crystal started to sprout from the ground, breaking the earth slightly. The grey stallion made sweeping gestures with his hooves as the crystal grew, and the transparent stone widened into a thin broad surface.
When the crystal’s growth finished, it was half the height of the large disguised pony. He sat on his haunches and looked at it with some approval. It was a beautifully sculpted piece of transparent and geometric art. Now he would turn the art into a tool.
Red magic lit up his silly top hat again, and now, rather than growing the crystal above ground, it grew downward, and spread out like the roots of a tree. The stallion’s red eyes closed as he focused entirely on his little project.
The roots grew out as he guided them, he could feel the earth as if it were water, and the crystal growth acted as an extension of himself, as he swam through the solid material. Though his eyes were closed, he was acutely aware of most things attached to the ground.
The crystal roots divided in a hundred directions and poked up in a hundred different places. Tiny smidgens of crystal appeared along the ground, and were small enough that ponies near them wouldn’t notice anything, except maybe a little glint of light here and there. The little eyes of crystal were no larger than needle points.
Satisfied with a job completed, the stallion opened his eyes, and looked at the wide crystal pane right in front of him. With a small zap of red energy, the transparent surface came to life with a dance of colors.
Several images appeared over the crystal surface, and he looked at them with an analytical eye. The images were clear, as if he could see the location with his own eyes. There were three images on the crimson pane, and he raised a hoof to wipe it across the crystal surface. This caused the images to switch, and he could see a different part of Ponyville.
“What are you doing?”
A small, but arrogant voice came from the side of the alley. The giant stallion jumped in surprise, which caused his large obnoxious shades to go askew, and his top hat fell off. He turned to glare, no, glance with slight annoyance at the intruder. When he noticed it was little pink earth filly his face contorted.
Normally his instinct would have been to shout something like
-Scatter brat!-
But the misfortune of his emotionally altered state made it come out more like…
“Why little filly, did you lose your parents? Do you need help finding them?”
“I can see them right over there, but I also saw you sneaking away from the Hooves family. What do you have to hide, and why are you wearing such ridiculously conspicuous clothes?”
This caused the giant stallion to frown; he lifted his top hat off the ground with magic, then dusted it off with a hoof before he put it back on. He also took a moment to straighten the shades on his snout.
“A little filly should mind her own business, it’s rude to intrude on strangers…”
“It’s also a bad idea to go around looking as obvious as Groucho Pony. If you actually wanted to hide something.”
The little filly leveled her blue eyes, and flipped her purple-white mane slightly. Her little eyes gazed up at this giant with a challenging stare, a slight smirk etched the corners of her mouth.
“Tell me what you’re up to.”
At this point the grey stallion almost summoned the energy to growl, but the effort died and he instead took on a disconcertingly wide smile.
“I will politely ask you to leave.”
“If you don’t tell me I’ll scream, and then you’ll really have every pony on your case.”
His red eyes twitched while he kept that disconcerting smile, he would be furious, if he could be furious. It took a lot of energy to set up a crystal network; relocation would be a major inconvenience at the moment.
After a few deep breaths, and a tense eye contact that lasted for a short while, he found some words. The smile on his snout became less disconcerting and more mischievous.
“Alright little filly you win, would you like to know a secret.”
“It’s Diamond Tiara, and yes, spill the beans.”
“Then come and see.”
He patted the ground right next to himself with a hoof, and the little filly scooted over. She dusted the ground off, and circled it a few times before she found it satisfactory, and took a seat. They both faced the large crystal pane, which had the shifting images on it.
“What the hay is this?”
The filly lifted a little pink hoof up to the crystal surface, when she touched it one of the images shifted, and suddenly she could see the perspective of the main street. Where the Hooves family busily chatted away as they walked along.
She tapped it again and the image shifted, now she could spy inside of Sugarcube corner, where the Cakes chased around their two young foals. She tapped again and she saw Sweet Apple Acres.
Tap, and Carousel Boutique was in view.
Tap, the Ponyville Spa.
Tap, Town Hall
Tap ---
A large grey hoof pulled the small pink one away from the crystal surface. He looked down on her with a critical eye before he shook his head. He explained in level tone.
“It’s called Crystal Scrying. This pane is attached to crystal roots that have spread throughout this town. With them, I can see where roots have sprung up. The roots themselves are like fine hairs, so small you most likely wouldn’t notice them, even if you looked directly at them.”
“So you’re like, some kind of spy?”
“The subtle manner of my crystal roots, and how they infiltrate places certainly helps me spy on things I want to.”
“So why are you so bad at dressing up?”
“You know, you appear to have a talent for being a royal nuisance, is that what the little crown is for? Besides, the merchant I bought these from said they were very modern, and I liked the colors… I’ll have to visit him again.”
He poked the little filly in the chest, but she brushed it off, because he didn’t push all that forcefully. She glared up the stallion with another sassy stare.
“You got yourself into this buster, what were you trying to spy on?”
Suddenly there was an explosion in the distance, and wave of mixed green and red energy illuminated the sky. The stormy clouds that hovered over Ponyville were partially blown back, and a mild gust blew through the alley. It knocked off the stallion’s top hat, and Diamond Tiara’s tiara.
The little filly squeaked in fright and jumped over to grab on the giant grey pony’s hoof. When the gust finished, red magic grabbed the fallen accessories and placed them back on their respective owners heads.
“Something like that comes to mind.”
The giant pony lifted up a fore leg, and realized a little filly was attached to it. He gave a few shakes to try and get her off, but the little earth pony had a strong grip. He sighed and ignored it, that explosion of energy is what he wanted a closer look at. The large grey hoof, which had a pink filly clinging to it, reached over to the crystal pane to shift images again.
When he found the perspective he wanted, he put both fore hooves to the crystal pane and gestured in an expanding motion. This caused the image to occupy the entirety of the surface.
The giant stallion and little filly sat back and watched what played out on red stone pane. Diamond Tiara had calmed down enough to let go the grey pony’s enormous hoof, and watched what he watched.
There in the middle of the image was a giant brown unicorn mare, which had a dirty blonde mane. Her long horned burned with baleful green magic, opposite her was a shorter blue unicorn, who wore an amulet that glowed with red energies and illuminated her eyes.
“What’s going on?”
Fear had crept into the filly’s otherwise sassy demeanor. The giant grey pony laughed with his giant bass voice, and leaned his giant back against the alley wall. The wall groaned against the giant burden, and a giant hoof tipped the giant shades on his giant face downward, so he could get an unobstructed look at the giant show before him.
“A chess game my dear filly, I placed some pieces and now they are moving.”
He chuckled mirthfully and activated a bit more magic, which caused some yellow crystals to grow from the ground. When they were a ripe size, he plucked them with his red aura, and lifted several pieces to his mouth. His fangs crunched down on them noisily, which made Diamond cover her ears with her hooves.
The grey pony stopped the grind of his chewing and looked down at the little filly. Some of the yellow crystals hovered down in front of her little snout. She looked at them with confusion, and the bass voice addressed her amiably.
“Want some Crystal Corn?”
Oh my I didn't jump straight into the action this chapter did I! lol, I promise not to tease for too long. Show pony and Queen will have their show down soon.
meanwhile here's another sketch.
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5995738
I don't understand what you're so confused about. Pm me and explain more please
wut
5995833 Ok
Really cool idea. So that is how he infiltrated the palace. I take it that the red crystal also transmits magic?
And Sombra looks like Alice Cooper
Holy Jesus, that is a terrible outfit. Sombra, you are currently more of a door mat than Fluttershy.
...... Sombra is not Discord dude.
i am seriously confused with this. why do you keep writing sombra like this? and it still does nto explain how the hell sombra came across all six of the mane six either.
not to mention this spying concept came out of nowhere..... and imbedding the crystals into earth is worlds different compared to embedding them in solid stone, like a castle. so that can't act as an explanation. there would be cracks appearing all over the place. so it doesn't work as an explanation to how sombra spied on the changelings......
seriously what are you writing anymore? cause this feels more like some troll fic more than anything else.
Seems like Sombra is playing Chrysalis.
5996133
I am going to try to say this in the nicest way possible: go away. All you have been doing is bitching and moaning because the author's story doesn't match your narrow-minded view on how magical talking horses are supposed to act (reread that a few times if you don't immediately see the problem), so you obviously do not and will not like this and most other stories. Either write your own or shut up and go along for the ride.
Now to once again negate your one-track criticisms...
1. Too fast- you try taking over a country where every citizen has super strength, magic, or flight. Story or not, Chrysalis's gotten it easy so far.
2. Sombra's personality- he's basically under a Reformation Spell, so he physically cannot do evil deeds. Instead he finds a loophole by doing good deeds that negatively impact his opponent. If his only weapon is trolling, he will still attempt to crush the bug with it.
3. Sombra's crystals not leaving cracks- admittedly this one is new, but I intend to stamp it out before it starts. The million bit answer is... magic! It didn't leave gaps because it displaced the rock like water. Even if it didn't, artificial caves already have cracks that the crystals could fill in without arousing suspicion.
Did I miss anything 'Dude'?
By the way,
, and yet I still would not have noticed if you hadn't mentioned it
.
5995883
Alice Cooper = Prince of Darkness
Sombra = King of Shadows
I think the resemblance goes beyond wardrobe choice
5996354
I thought the black king and the black queen were on the same side in chess?
5996697 basically ignore every contrivance and questionable decision that pops up. which is how tyhings always remain the same.
5996697
fedgeno.com/its-magic-i-aint-gotta-explain-shit.jpg
5996738
So your saying there is only one right way to write a fictional story and those who break that structure must be harassed until they comply? Are you secretly Starlight Glimmer?
Seriously though, most of your complaints are either based on your views of storytelling and character personalities or on things that would only be implausible in a low-magic or no-magic story. Oh, and I did miss one and there is exactly one point I can agree with you on. You complained that the freed Mane 6 would not be caught dead anywhere near Ponyville. Well, why not? If Chryssie didn't know who they were before the wedding (she didn't), she would need to look for them in the Canterlot Archives to find out where they lived, which was pointless before because they were separated and didn't pose a significant threat (especially without Twilight). The part I have to agree with you on is Trixie's ignorance of the invasion. Even if the Pies had just said "watch the farm we've got to rescue our daughter/sister," somepony trapped in Ponyville would have mentioned it.
5996133
Sigh... I feel like I'm punishing myself whenever I reply to your comments. Whatever...
Call it a troll fic if that makes it easier to wrap your head around it.
I don't get where your reasoning even comes from half the time. You assume a lot of things, and many of those "assumptions" aren't even correct.
I'll address a few of your points based on what I think is sensible, but after that there isn't much I can do, other than to say I disagree with many of your lines of reasoning.
Quite frankly I'm surprised your reading so far into what you're calling a troll fic, if I didn't like a story I would have given up before I read over 70k words.
So here's a stash for effort.
Now for a few of the points.
Sombra is not discord...
Yes, astute observation there, and I whole heartedly agree. Sombra is not discord, and discord is not sombra.
If I was writing discord, the situation would be radically different. Discord may enjoy taking indirect methods at times for his own amusement, but other times he is quite direct with his reality warping and meddlesome powers for his own convenience.
Sombra here is more indirect out of necessity, call sombra's emotionally disturbed state a load of bull if you want, but this is how I see sombra acting while he is relatively disabled. He's feeling a well spring of emotions in such quantities he's never felt before that his behavior should come across as confused, and erratic.
How sombra came across the mane six...
K well this shouldn't be too hard to discern between other comments and what has already happened in the story. As you may recall sombra would already have had 3 of the mane six in his possession, when he emptied the prison in canterlot mountain.
The other 3 escaped to ponyville already as a logical stop. They weren't necessarily planning on staying there, as both you and I can see chrysalis would just find them again fairly quickly.
Sombra planted the 3 members of the mane six he had in his possession in ponyville for yet undisclosed reasons, as that would be a spoiler for future chapters at the moment. What gave him the idea is also an undisclosed reason at the moment.
His current plan would have worked the same even if only 3 members of the mane six were present, all he needed was chrysalis's attention.
And twilight is currently somewhere outside of ponyville at the moment. Just to note.
Sombra' spying technique / working through stone vs dirt...
Sure, the ability of Sombra to spy by a scrying through crystals is something I imagined could be a possibility within his arsenal of spells. Part of something he could use that wasn't necessarily fueled by dark magic and negative emotions. He's spent a lot of time in an empire that was full of magical manipulation of crystals, and I find it fun to expand a little bit on the possibilities of crystal-mancy... Geomancy? I dunno, whatever you want to call that branch. I'll pick a more distinguished name when it becomes relevant to refer to often.
And as far as using it to spy on the changelings in canterlot, not everywhere around there is stone. Canterlot mountain itself is not pure stone... Or at least in this story mountains are a mixture of earth and stone, maybe they are in your version of things too.
So to spy on the prison complex, which was dug into the mountain, he wouldn't have to work his way through pure stone.
Also Sombra doesn't have to dig crystals into the castle proper, there are still things like the castle grounds / lawns / gardens.
When Sombra popped up to go neener neener chrysalis, it was in the gardens...
All that set aside, the technique itself was meant to be stealthy, I did say he grew out the crystal roots, but what are you imagining? Something as thick and obvious as tree roots that break up concrete sidewalks? Perhaps I should go in and edit the description, so you know specifically the little spy crystals are the size of needle points, or hairs or something. So that you don't have to come to some conclusion that they're big obvious limb-like structures that leave big ol cracks.
Seriously, what am I writing anymore...
I'm writing a story for my personal enjoyment. If others happen to enjoy it as well, then that's a bonus. I'll take suggestions here or there, but I reserve the right to disagree with your opinion, have a good day.
And may you find fics that actaully please you. Because with every chapter I write, you've made it more than apparent that I am an unsuccessful source of entertainment for you.
Sombra reminds me of Mr. Hyde in this chapter. XD
Hmm, what IS Sombra playing at? Wonder what his endgame is, and what Trixie and Chrysalis have to do with it. Love the description of crystal-spying, though.
I'm not going to reply to lordofmyth's comment this time, because he clearly doesn't understand how story telling works and never will.
5996899 ... so plot convenience?
there are a lot of fallacies to your argument for sombra. largest of all is that he is sitll acting like discord and his reason for not being direct is arbitrary at best, based on him supposedly being unable to hurt anyone because he got filled with positive energy.
because it is not only his actions but how he beaves. trollish, finding amusement in it completely, etc. it is not him trying to act sneaky, its him behaving exactly like discord would if he was doing all of this. it is not just discord like in his tactics, but in his mannerisms. seriously dude, he's offering diamond tiara freaking popcorn. that is 100% discord.
and your reasoning for the mane six being there is still faulty. you explain absolutely nothing about how they could be there. hell if you wanted this you could have had chapters in the point of view of the mane six, give us an idea of how they got here. give us information in the story before you throw out ideas like this one. you can't throw in the idea that the mane six just happened to be back in town, especially when we know bloth of them had a considerable number of equines with them as well. are they all back in ponyville? why wouldn't they just ban together and beat up trixie rather than tolerate her distraction? why isn't ponyville set up in some way to repel the changelings if the mane six are all in town to tell everyone about them?
these are all bad questions. because they are questions that leave confusion rather than interest.
i called it a trollfic because of how halphazard the plot is, how little things connect together, and how little is explained.
and because there is clearly some kind of talent going on in this writing yet it seems more intersted in nonsense.
5996885 ...... sighs. why is everyone saying its 'my' preferences when its simply the basics of storytelling?
5997221 You seem determined to not give this story a chance, Sombra is unable to cause destruction because of all the 'positive energy' in his system because of Chrysalis (oh, and characters do change due to the events inside a story, rather than staying 'canon' despite what happens) and so is attempting to do things indirectly to inconvenience Chrysalis.
When you think up a possible flaw in a story, ask yourself if it can be explain by magic, if so, remember the following:
fedgeno.com/its-magic-i-aint-gotta-explain-shit.jpg
5997295 ..... you do realize that my issue is not him being handicapped here, but how he is behaving, right? he is point for point behaving like discord, down to watching events unfold while having a snack.
5997337
Well what's your version of positive engorged Sombra?
And say something more interesting than, "he would never be in that situation"
I said there would be trollish shenanigans any way
5997434 by all honestly if someone was infused with some massive amount of positive energy, they would probably act like Tree Hugger. doped outta their minds on the feel goods.
alternatively it could also be determined that it could have removed some of the dark magic influence and compel him to try and fix the damage that has happened so far. and it ultimately frustrates him to no end that he is compelled to do so, almost as if he cannot control it. cause something woke up because of that magic. you can even have some comedic moments out of it as well. or even make him slightly schizophrenic as his revived morality conflicts with his mared but still existence dark ambitions.
and definitely not have him rescue the regal sisters. it is unreasonable to think he would be capable of rescuing all of the hsotages at once, let alone get to the regal ones. or even want to.
anything other than him just being discord lite here. if you needed someone who was gonna cause trouble and troll everyone, why not just use discord? cause ultimately, none of this makes any sense. chrysalis shoved lots of love juju down his throat. how does that equal him going insane and acting like discord.
and i don't mean him being manipulative. i mean him behaving like discord in all ways besides snapping digits and creating chocolate milk clouds. you are trying to make him comedic but in a way that does not work with sombra.
5997630 Or he could still try to do 'evil' things as best as he could, which is probably the case here. Sombra is showing how much he 'loves' Chrysalis by 'helping' the situation as 'well' as he can. Sort of a calm/bound malevolence 'Helping' rather than a "don't care, lol" attitude which Discord tends to have.
5997136 My personal guess is that he is after the Alicorn Amulet - he staged a confrontation because his current condition does not allow him to simply mug Trixie.
Not liking your Sombra, sorry.
5999305
No need to be sorry, i understand my depiction isn't to everyone's tastes.
I have made an account after four years of lurking,
To tell you that despite the battleground of your comments section, I love this story.
My philosophy on fanfiction is that there is no wrong or right way to tell a story. It is a different interpretation of events.
Your creating a world that is based off of a already existing story, this is true. BUT, It is your world and your story. You get to decide how characters would react to the situations they are put in because this is not lordofmyth's OR the shows world.
These are your characters. They are different from the shows characters because they are not from the show. They are from this story.
Whatever happens. Don't forget this is yours. You are under no obligations to make this anyone else's.
Sweet Sombra in a Top Hat. This is a fun chapter!
5999566
Wow... Thank you. I feel honored to be part of the reason why you decided to make an account.
I'm also happy that you're enjoying the story so much, it has certainly been a pleasure to write. And a special comment like the one you just gave is what makes this all so fun!
Welcome to the active side of fim fiction btw
I too was a lurker for about 2 years, but there were several good stories I wanted a bookshelf for. Then I guess I decided that I'd like participate, and start a story that explored an angle I hadn't seen covered with much depth before.
Again, a sincere thanks for your comment, it has certainly made this author's day.
While it is a rather uncharacteristic look to Sombra, I have to admit it is a funny one. His new personality makes me think of Gecko Moria from 'One Piece' for some reason.
5997630 That's actually a very good take on how Sombra should've acted.
Discord himself is sort of a missed opportunity here and I feel it could've worked better for the story.
But , we'll see how this plays out. While the recent chapters have been rather fast and confusing in most parts, arkolo may yet surprise us...