1. Published 15th May 2012
  2. 28,468 Views, 691 Comments

Twilight's First Time - chief maximus


Twilight finally decides to take part in something every mare her age should experience.

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#1 · 258w, 21h ago · 3 · 3 ·

*Please not be lesbian. Please not be lesbian. Please not be lesbian.*

#2 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

>>594379 that is the last thing i think i would have ever herd you say

#3 · 258w, 21h ago · 1 · 1 ·

Pitch-perfect subversion of usual expectations. :rainbowlaugh:

#4 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

lol. Oh god. That was hilarious

a3V
#5 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

EDIT: Never mind. I think I might have spoiled it in this post, so edit!

Nice work here.

#7 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

Well, that was fun. :pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

#8 · 258w, 21h ago · 1 · ·

please be a dentist

please be a dentist

PRAISE THE LORD AND ALL HIS MIRACLES

#9 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

I totally saw it coming. And that just made it so much better. I would like you to know that you have made my day with your humour, in particular the bit with Big Mac and of course the ending. What a typical RD thing to say. Kudos to you, take this thumb and some moustaches.

5/5 :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#10 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

I knew this would be a troll fic, but damn you do know how to make awkward conversations.

#11 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

At first I thought it was exactly what you wanted us to think:rainbowwild:

Then I thought it was something else when I realized that was too obvious :facehoof:

Then I hit the ending and my face hit my desk :pinkiegasp:

Regardless it made me laugh harder than I have in a while.

#12 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

Oh, you're good. It sets you up through the whole course of the story. That line at the end, was absolute genious.

#13 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

Beautiful.

That was a good execution of a flawless plan.

#14 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

DENTIST :rainbowlaugh: I was going with massages, AH HAHAHA

I can't stop laughing! Damn, you had that going on awhile, heh heh.

But you really had me in doubt at times there, good job at poking the less cleaned parts of our minds!

Edit: It isn't a trollfic if we enjoyed it ;)

#15 · 258w, 21h ago · 1 · ·

>>594398

I'm really much more of a f/m or m/m guy. Despite writing girl on girl as well as girl on girl on girl smut... yeah.

#16 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

>>594447 well then

also you do write ALOT of porn

#17 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

This Story = FLAWLESS KILL

#19 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

Wu...Wut? I don't know what to say. And, dat ending :rainbowlaugh:

#20 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

I hope that Dashie doesn't push Twi to do something rash with somepony that she doesn't really love. It could end up really hurting her.

/reading too much into this

I mean, it's my own fault for writing a story about Twilight's true love leaving her and breaking her heart.

>>594449

Oh, yeah, that I do! :rainbowwild:

#21 · 258w, 21h ago · · ·

Teeth i knew it i was thinking ok no way twi is going to f a random guy so must be a doctor or dentist :pinkiehappy:

#22 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

>>594473 and there all very well written

#23 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

at first i was like aw anothe clopfic?great :ajbemused:

untill the end  i thought it was a clopfic...

then i read the end and was wtf?:derpyderp1:

then i laughed and fell out of my chair :/

#24 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

Kinda torn on this one. I liked it at first, but it definitely dragged on too long for being so predictable. By the end, I was simply skipping through the story to see if it would be a masseuse, chiropractor, doctor, or dentist. It's fine as a one-shot for what it is I suppose, and it would be hard to justify a one shot that was any shorter, but this one just wasn't my cup of tea. :applejackunsure:

#25 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

1.) Knew was not sex.

2.) Thinks-sex-but-not-sex is overused.

3.) 'Dentist' crossed my mind.

4.) Who would be embarrassed about going to the dentist?

5.)...

6.) STILL FUCKING FUNNY.

You win three Internets. All I can spare right now, sorry! :heart:

#28 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

The Everyone rating gave too much away, but I enjoyed it.

#29 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

damn dentist?

i thought he was a Gynecologist.

#30 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

Farkin' excellent. Really nicely done.

#31 · 258w, 20h ago · 1 · ·

>>594379 but twi-luna-Tia is best ship!!! Lesbians are so fun!!! Oh juat FYI I am a straight male, that has a crush on a bisexual female. So I would know lesbians are fun.

Also I was reading this out loud to my sister, and we kept thinking "oh god not clop!! Please no clop!" and I guessed a bunch of random shit. Dentist, sugar junkie, etc.

#32 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

My thumbs, you can have them! After reading this, I don't need them anymore.

#34 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

As soon as the receptionist said his name was Pearly, I knew he was a dentist.  Although, everything before that led me to, you know.  :rainbowlaugh: bucking loved this story

#35 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

Next up: a threesome with Colgate :rainbowkiss:

#36 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

So, this was supposedly a subversion of what people were supposed to expect. I knew that, which caused me to somehow turn this into a double-subversion in my mind somewhere. And then I saw the ending line. :rainbowlaugh:

#37 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

Nicely done. I got about halfway throu the text before I figured it out. :twilightblush:

#38 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

>>594572

I'm just tired of all of the gay parings, sorry. Give me a Braeburn-x-Pokey or Mac-x-Caramel something like that anyways. :pinkiesad2:

And what's wrong with clop? :pinkiegasp:

#39 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

My first thoughts were that it had something to do with grooming (pretty sure neither the show nor any fics I've read ever mention brushing their coat) and I imagine that a steel brush typically used on horses and such might also take a little getting used to.

Then the imagery went into the gutter...

Then it turned out to be the dentist...and it all made sense.

Figured it would; was just curious on the how.

Good show, my fine fellow, good show.

#40 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

>>594633 nothing I LOVE a good clop, but 1). I was reading it out loud and 2). My grandmother (who does not approve of me [15] and my older sister [18] being into MLP:FiM) could hear ever word, I stoped reading like 6 or 7 times because she started yelling at us about "growing up and making friends" or some shit like that.

#41 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

>>594585 yes now to try and write a Twi-Luna-Tia threeway clop. Well I know where my summer is going :eeyup: and not a second will be wasted.

#42 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

Lol, perfect.:pinkiehappy:

#43 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

>>594676 Does your grandmother, perchance, smoke cigarettes?

>>594687 I AM NOT AN AUTHOR

#44 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

>>594699 1). No she does not smoke. And never (as far as I know) has and 2). I ment that I need to write it.

#45 · 258w, 20h ago · · ·

I rate this

5 screaming Fluttershy's out of 5!

:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:/:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

#46 · 258w, 19h ago · · ·

Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful! :rainbowlaugh:

#47 · 258w, 19h ago · 1 · ·

. . . That awkward moment when you know it's about going to the dentist, but you're trying hard to picture it erotically. :pinkiecrazy:

#49 · 258w, 19h ago · · ·

>>594459

Oh, dear sweet Celestia yes, a reference to The Knack in a MLP fic (besides my own stuff)?

Love that tune!

*powerpop nerdgasm*

#50 · 258w, 18h ago · · ·

as soon as i saw Pearl and no romance tag i had a hunch it was a dentist

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