• Published 13th May 2012
  • 4,129 Views, 151 Comments

Applejack's Stetson Hat - Fattymagee1

When the Cutie Mark Crusaders ruin Applejack's stetson hat, Big Macintosh takes it to Rarity's boutique in order to get it repaired. But was that the only reason he's

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Big Macintosh had never gone on a date before, but tonight most certainly wasn't his first opportunity. Being the large bulky stallion he was, there was always strong interest in him from fillies and mares, beginning all the way back in elementary school. Many of them were even desperate enough to ask Big Macintosh to dinner themselves, but he always turned them down, stating too much work needed to be done on the farm.

And this was the truth. Big Macintosh had always been selflessly devoted to his work at Sweet Apple Acres, especially after the passing of his folks. He believed it was his duty to the Apple family not to dawdle in something so minuscule... such as mares. The farm and the family were his only true loves, and he dared not deviate away from that idea.

That all changed for the stallion, however, in the blink of an eye. The first time Applejack invited a certain mare over for dinner, and Big Macintosh laid his green eyes on that same certain mare's dazzling white coat, unusual gleaming curly purple mane and tail, and sparkling azure eyes, all his previous inhibitions seemed to evaporate. The stallion was simply mesmerized by her raw beauty, and discovered it nearly impossible to impede his staring at the dinner table, only looking away when the mare happened to gaze back at him.

Big Macintosh and the mare conversed only once that night, at the beginning of dinner, when she asked the stallion for his name. For some reason he simply couldn't explain, Big Macintosh had a surreal amount of trouble attempting to remember his own name. He had become nervous ever since the mare cantered in the front door. When he finally managed to give his name, the mare identified herself as Rarity.

The next day, and many days after, whilst the stallion worked on the farm, the mare's name repeated in his head like a broken record. The way she looked, the way she spoke, she truly was like no other mare Big Macintosh had ever interacted with. An exceptional rarity of a pony in his eyes. On the occasion that she came to visit the farm again, the stallion always made an effort to steal a glance at her and experience that delightful yet strange feeling he could only describe as flying insects brushing the sides of his stomach with their wings.

Big Macintosh kept his infatuation with Rarity a complete secret from his family. He wasn't sure how they, especially Applejack, would respond to it. The stallion deduced it as almost shameful at times, fearing disapproval from the ones he loved. He wasn't too concerned about Apple Bloom, since she obviously was much too young to understand such principles. However, Applejack was just as devoted to the farm as he was, with limited time for friends, and as far as Big Macintosh knew, the thought of stallions never once even crossed her mind. She would inevitably be disappointed in her brother. And how would Granny Smith react? Big Macintosh tried not to think about it.

Thus, Rarity remained just a fantasy for the big red stallion. He also realized the unlikelihood of a beautiful, sophisticated, outgoing, and, most importantly, fancy unicorn mare such as Rarity going for a shy workhorse of few words such as himself. She was a prestigious fashion designer, and he was just an... apple farmer. This idea had always saddened him.

It wasn't until one day when Apple Bloom and her friends happened to tear Applejack's Stetson hat that he received the chance of a lifetime. He needed to act on it. And, with a little help from an unlikely and somewhat crazy pink pony source, the stallion scored the impossible with the only mare he truly wished to be with.

A date with Rarity.

After this greatest of achievements, his continuous feelings of ecstatic euphoria lasted throughout the rest of the day. However, he still needed to keep it a secret from his family. Big Macintosh didn't want to risk losing this wonderful opportunity through family intervention.

He would deal with them later, for the next day had come, and the stallion felt it essential to prepare himself, to the greatest extent of his abilities, for the mare of his dreams.

Big Macintosh gazed at his own reflection in the bedroom mirror. Using one of his front hooves, the stallion brushed back his carrot mane as far as it would go, trying to keep the hair out of his eyes.

He had removed the large wooden yoke that was nearly always situated around his neck, replacing it with the most formal clothing the stallion owned: a simplistic sport-coat suit and bow-tie.

Ah reckon a lady like Rarity would prefer a nicely dressed stallion, since she loves her fancy clothes n' all, thought Big Macintosh.

The stallion had only worn the suit once before, at a cousin's wedding he had attended a few years earlier. Thus, he had a little trouble placing the clothes around his head and broad shoulders. He had received help from Applejack before the wedding, but obviously couldn't ask for assistance now.

Big Macintosh peered down at his outfit once again, trying to perfect it as best he could. When it finally looked similar to what he remembered, he gazed over at the clock on the wall.


“Ponyfeathers, Ah need t' get goin'!” bellowed the stallion out loud.

Big Macintosh galloped out of his bedroom, down the stairs, and out the front door. Luckily for him, both Applejack and Apple Bloom weren't around to question him, as they had both left earlier to spend time with friends. Granny Smith was home, but she was nothing to worry about. The old mare was always fast asleep by this time.

Just as Celestia's sun was beginning to set, Big Macintosh galloped with a surge of confidence past the animal pastures and exited out the front gate of Sweet Apple Acres.

As Big Macintosh quickly trotted down the road towards Ponyville, it was truly amazing how rapidly his excitement over the date disappeared. It was soon replaced with anxiety, the exact same anxiety he experienced the day before whilst taking Applejack's hat to the boutique. Once again, nervous thoughts began to quickly overrun his mind.

Where should Ah even take her?

What should Ah say?

Did Ah dress well enough?

Big Macintosh began to realize just how ill-prepared he was for this date. He hadn't even thought about where to take Rarity, never mind trying to think of what possible common interests the two could share and talk about.

The stallion's anxiety had now transformed into an unrelenting sinking feeling, as if all of Equestria was crashing down around him due to his ignorance. He felt as if he had already ruined the most important evening of his life before it even commenced.

“Eeyup. Nice goin', Big Mac,” croaked the stallion under his breath as he dismally sauntered into Ponyville.

Big Macintosh could now view his destination at the end of the road. There it was, Carousel Boutique, appearing as glamorous and magnificent as he remembered it.

One could say otherwise about the stallion's feelings, however. He tried to remember and believe what Pinkie Pie explained to him yesterday, but his nerves continued to increase tenfold. The poor stallion felt as if somepony was trying poke a hole through his stomach, for he knew this date with Rarity, the one and only mare he shared feelings with in Equestria, could very well also be his last.

Big Macintosh contemplated turning back. Ah could pretend Ah was sick, and we could do it another time! But reality hit the stallion like crashing head-first into an apple tree. That was impossible. He couldn't have somepony else like Applejack tell her! And even if he could cancel, would she even give the big red stallion another chance? Probably not.

Big Macintosh elicited many stares from other passing ponies as he deliberated this decision in his mind. Ignoring them completely, he only stared down at the ground, shaking and nodding his head as each possible solution entered his mind.

This was his only shot. He could turn around and likely regret this moment for the rest of his life, or he could trot up to that boutique, knock on that purple door, and sweep the mare of his dreams off her hooves. But he could also embarrass himself and his family.

Big Macintosh didn't have much time to make a final decision, since before he knew it, he stood directly outside the purple door that was the main entrance to the boutique. The stallion took a deep gulp and made up his mind.

“Here goes nothin',” he mumbled under his breath.

Against every nerve in his trembling body, Big Macintosh slowly lifted his front hoof and tapped on the door.

To the stallion's complete and utter horror, the entire door fell off its hinges and collapsed straight backwards onto the boutique floor behind it.

For a split second, Big Macintosh was absolutely mortified and frozen in fear. He had just used his strength to break down his dream mare's front door. What a lovely thing to do on a first date.

Eeyup, now ya really did it, Big Macintosh scolded himself as peered around to see if anypony else around had witnessed his idiocy. Luckily for him, there wasn't, as the sun was beginning to set set and it was beginning to grow dark.

However, his extreme angst quickly converted to extreme perplexity as he lifted his head and gazed at the scene within the boutique.

Everything was in complete disarray. Ponequins lay scattered across the floor, as well as cloth and fabric rolls dispersed across all the furniture. It appeared as if a large group of parasprites had visited the area. However, he was even more puzzled by what appeared to be a massive hole in the ground with several large empty open chests around it.

Big Macintosh couldn't decide whether to investigate or not; Rarity may have just had a dispute with her little sister. And she dug a hole because of it.

Those thoughts immediately dissolved when he heard the most awful, blood-curdling scream coming from the next room. Forgetting his fears, Big Macintosh galloped across the room, around the hole, and attempted to open the door leading to the next room. Realizing it was locked and hearing another deafening scream, the stallion felt there was no other choice but to break this door down as well.

He barged the door in with his front hooves, stared for a few moments, and was astounded by the sight before him. There, across the room, stood three massive bluish-grey... dogs? But these dogs looked nothing like Winona. A couple were nearly as large as Big Macintosh himself. They stood on two legs, and all three wore jewel-encrusted collars and vests. They also had what appeared to be earplugs situated in their ears.

"What the—?!" screeched one of them in a high, raspy voice as all three creatures spun around to acknowledge the red stallion in the doorway. Behind the creatures lay Rarity, who was wearing a gorgeous purple and maroon dress and golden tiara adorned with jewels. It was obvious she had been preparing for the date before these... things showed up.

When Rarity witnessed Big Macintosh break the door down, she wasted no time in shrieking, “Big Mac! Help! These dreadful excuses for canines are Diamond Dogs, and they're trying to ponynap me and my gems— again!”

One of the so called "Diamond Dogs" pointed at Big Macintosh. The other two suddenly commenced in slowly ambling towards the stallion, their large "claws" raised over their heads.

"Again?" he muttered, his protective instincts beginning to overshadow the humble stallion's psyche. Big Macintosh was prepared for anything these crazy mutts might throw at him, and they weren't going to lay a claw on Rarity.