• Published 11th Apr 2015
  • 8,531 Views, 132 Comments

My Life as a Sword - TrombonePlayingPony



This is my story about dealing with the nut job ponies all in my quest to get their crap over with so I can just nap the days away. All while being a soul trapped in a sword. I don't know how that all fits together but then again I don't really care.

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... and breaking it up.

The jungle cats all inched their way toward Applejack, closing the circle they made more and more. Applejack glanced around, not sure which one she should face as Soul growled. ‘Damn it!’

“Soul, I really need ya here.” Applejack muttered. “The blue monkey can wait.”

‘But he’s-’ Soul was interrupted as one of the cats leapt forward, Applejack putting her armored hoof right below its chin. The cat swiped, just barely cutting at Applejack as she held it back.

“Soul!” For a few moments they stood there before the same electricity as before struck out, causing the cat to flinch back.

‘Alright, I get it. We’ll deal with the stupid cats.’ She grumbled. The cats continued to slowly prowl closer before another cat leapt forward. Before it could hit Applejack though, it was slammed aside, the flying object leaving a rainbow trail as it sped past.

“Get away from my friend!” Rainbow spat, circling around for another attack. The cats all turned to watch their friend getting slammed into a nearby tree, giving Applejack an opening. She quickly dashed toward one of them before pivoting on Soul and bucking it into another tree. The cats recovered quickly from the sudden shock of Rainbow’s attack however and were quick to leap at their prey once more.

It was already too late for them unfortunately. Two out of the five of them had been knocked aside and it took no time at all for the two ponies to clean up what was left. As the cats lied on the ground, moaning in pain, Rainbow landed next to the slightly scratched up Applejack.

“You alright? Those cats were nasty.”

Applejack gave her a smirk. “Ain’t nothing we couldn’t handle.”

‘So NOW can we go after the monkey guy?!’ Soul interrupted. Applejack looked down at the armored hoof with a raised eyebrow.

“Sweet Celestia, Soul, you really want to get that guy.”

“Soul?” Rainbow glanced around. “I don’t see her.” Soul sighed before turning back into her human form, giving Rainbow a good flick to the forehead as soon as she was solid again.

“I can turn into weapons. Any more questions? No? Good. Now let’s get after that guy!” Rainbow gave her a glare before snorting.

“Why do you care about Ahuizotl? I thought you couldn’t read stuff.”

“And I can’t. Your Ahui-whatever-the-hell-he-is though is a special case in the soul department, one I’m going to make sure is cleared away before it gets to a point where we can’t stop it.”

Applejack walked around in front of Soul. “What do you mean?”

“Look, remember when I said the regular soul color is blue? That thing’s is red.”

“So… what?” Rainbow cocked her head. “You not a fan of the color red?”

“Red means it’s been eating innocent souls. If it continues to do so, it’ll turn into a monster that can’t be killed.”

“Wait… is Daring going to have her soul eaten than?!” Rainbow leapt into the air. “We need to go find her now!” Before the others could respond, Rainbow was gone, speeding through the jungle.

“Rainbow!” Applejack called out. “Dang it girl, you can’t do this on your own.”

“No shit she can’t.” Soul crossed her arms. “That monkey can’t be killed by normal means. You have to destroy its soul or it’ll just come back.”

“Kill it?!” Applejack seemed disgusted at the idea. “What do you mean kill it?”

“I mean that we need to beat it up and eat its soul.”

“But… you just said eating souls corrupts you!”

“Innocent souls. Demon weapons eat corrupt and witch souls because it’s the only way to get rid of them for good.”

Applejack looked uneasy about it all, glancing between where Rainbow had disappeared and Soul. “That still don’t sound right to me. Ain’t there some sort of cure for this ‘red soul’?”

“Can’t really cure someone of being a monster when they chose to become one.”

“Applejack! Soul!” Both of them turned to see the other ponies walk through the thick foliage. Twilight sighed in relief. “There you two are. Why did you go running off like that?”

“There was a big monkey attacking them so I got Applejack to move as quickly as possible. Isn’t my fault if you can’t keep up.”

“Them? You mean Rainbow and Daring? Where are they?”

Applejack nodded. “Daring got caught by Ahui-whatzits. We tried to stop him but he had some pets that didn’t play too nice with others.” She waved a hoof at the cats littering the floor. “And Rainbow ran off after her once she helped us clear them out.”

Twilight gave a nodded in return. “Then we better get moving. We need to help Rainbow, and quick!” In a flash, Soul leapt onto Applejack’s leg as the ponies all galloped out of the clearing. As they did so, Applejack glanced for a moment at the hoof gauntlet before shaking her head and focusing on what was ahead.

* * *

Thanks to Soul, the ponies were able to find Ahuizotl’s fortress and avoid being spotted as they snuck inside. “And you’re sure Rainbow and Daring are fine?” Twilight asked, glancing at the hoof gauntlet that Applejack now wore.

‘For the hundredth time, yes! Daring was in some room with fish below. My guess some sort of weird, stereotypical villain trap that monkey boy left her in. It looked like the water level started to rise before Rainbow came in and helped her.’

Applejack relayed this all to Twilight, though it left her with another question. “Soul, why don’t you just change back and tell us these things?”

‘I’m not exactly physically strong. Hell, I’m weaker than most ponies. I can’t dodge well and stabs still hurt like a bitch. In this form, I’m a lot stronger, so it’s just safer.’

Applejack nodded before looking to Twilight. “She’s better off as this. Less injury this way.”

The ponies rounded a corner, peeking into a room. There, a dozen or so tribal ponies banged their spears on the ground in unison, all looking toward Ahuizotl as he readied to place the gold ring he stole from Daring on top of a stack of similar rings all on an ornate looking obelisk.

‘I can’t exactly see everything, but I’m assuming this is bad.’ Applejack just gave a nod before the ponies stepped into the room.

“Hey! Drop the ring Ahui… whatever your name is!” With that, the ponies charged, Pinkie swiping the ring before it went into a more dangerous game of keepaway. Applejack for a few moments was focused on said ring before Soul spoke up.

‘Incoming!’ Applejack rolled to the side, Ahuizotl swiping where she had just been.

“I knew I should have just eaten you when I first saw you. Now, feel my wrath!” Ahuizotl lunged at Applejack, not giving her any break as he pressed forward. Despite Soul’s help, he was just too quick for a counterattack.

‘AJ, quick! Get behind something.’ Applejack did as she asked, jumping behind one of the pillars supporting the room. ‘Wait for it… dodge left, pivot, buck!’ As she said this, Ahuizotl smashed through the pillar, barely avoiding the top of Applejack’s hat as she moved to the side. he continued trying to press his advantage only to get kicked back, throwing him off.

‘There we go! Now get that thing!’ Applejack charged, ramming Soul into Ahuizotl’s stomach before turning around and once again bucking him. He hit the ground. ‘Applejack, finish it!’ She brought Soul up and stopped, freezing in place. ‘What are you doing?!’

“I… I can’t.” Ahuizotl saw this and brought his tail around, grabbing one of Applejack’s hind legs with the hand on the end of it. He lifted her into the air as she stood back up himself, grinning.

“Unwilling to deliver the final blow? That will be your downfall.” He slammed Applejack into nearby pillar, smashing it before swinging her around and throwing her across the room. She slid to a halt as Ahuizotl slowly made his way toward them.

‘Damn it Applejack! What are you doing?’

She groaned, getting on her hooves and facing Ahuizotl. “I… I can’t do it. I can’t just kill ‘em. It ain’t right.”

‘It’s the only way we’re going to be stopping this fucker. If you hold back, your soul will be his lunch.’

“And his will be yours if we do things your way.”

‘I don’t eat them because I crave power like him! I eat them because it’s the only way to put them down for good!’ Ahuizotl charged again, swiping at Applejack. This time it seemed faster to her, and she only managed to dodge a few swings before she had been knocked aside again.

‘Fuck! This arguing is screwing with our soul sync. I can barely help you like this.’

“I don’t... want your stinkin’ help. I ain’t killin’ nothin’.” She got up again, backing up as Ahuizotl approached with a grin. After a few moments, Applejack heard Soul sigh.

‘Alright. I guess I can’t expect you to be so willing to follow what I say. You’re hardly a fully trained meister.’ Applejack smiled just in time to dodge another strike from Ahuizotl, getting as far away from him as possible. ‘We’re still going to need to do something more if we’re going to beat this guy. You’re too hurt.’

“What about that thing you mentioned? Matching wavelengths or whatever?” She leapt back, the stone where she had been standing exploding as Ahuizotl brought his fist down.

Soul chuckled. ‘You want to try soul resonance? Don’t get me wrong Applejack, you’re good at this kind of thing, but to be that good naturally...’ The image of her in the metal shook her head with a smirk. ‘Ah, what the hell. Not like we have much to lose anyway.’

“Alright, so… how do I do this?”

‘Just close your eyes and do whatever feels natural. Seems to have worked for you so far.’ Applejack nodded, closing her eyes as Ahuizotl stopped, looking at her confused.

“And just what is it you are doing now? Have you accepted your fate?” Applejack didn’t listen to him though, her mind elsewhere.

‘Holy… you’re actually…’ Soul said shocked before grinning. Applejack rose the hoof covered by Soul and brought it back down, snapping her eyes open.

‘Let’s go! Soul resonance!’

“Let’s go! Soul resonance!”

Suddenly the air around them was filled with energy as Soul’s form glowed orange. The hoof gauntlet began to shift and change, slowly growing larger and stretching up to Applejack’s shoulder. The shoulder area expanded, followed by the armor around her wrist and finally her hoof itself. These heavier areas took on the orange color as the metal underneath it all turned white.

Ahuizotl stood there in shock. “W-what?! What is this power?!” Applejack leaned back with a cocky grin, readying to jump but just as she did she realized something.

That Soul’s new form was a lot heavier compared to the old one.

This threw her jump way off, causing her to miss Ahuizotl completely. She flailed a bit in the air as she screamed. “Dang it!”

Soul sighed. ‘And it was going so well too.’ They hit the ground, the energy from the attack rippling through the stone as it tore it apart and climbed the nearby wall. The pillars and supports for that entire side of the room collapsed from the attack, sending some of the tribal ponies that had been fighting the others flying and barely missing Applejack’s friends.

Everything was quiet after that, all the fighting that had been going on throughout the room halted just to gape at the destruction that had just occurred. What broke the silence was the low rumble of stone collapsing.

“This place is coming down!” Daring called out, having ran in during the fight to help along with Rainbow Dash. “We need to go now!” All the ponies were quick to agree, bolting for the exit. Even the tribal ponies made a break for it, leaving only Ahuizotl to roar in fury.

“No! No! NOOOOO!!!” He cried out, desperately trying to pick up the rings that had been scattered in the fight and pile them on the now broken obelisk. Meanwhile, all the ponies got out just in time for the entire building to collapse, a cloud of dust being kicked up as it did. They all watched for a moment before Daring broke the silence.

“Ahuizotl’s come back from worse. There’s no way he’s just gone.” Soul flashed back to her human form, startling the tribal ponies with her sharp-tooth smirk.

“I wouldn’t say that just yet.” She pointed, getting everyone’s attention as they looked on. A strange, red ball of fire flew out of the rubble, a black shell seeming to coat it partially. Soul reached out toward it as it flew over, landing in her hand.

“Is that…” Applejack asked, Soul nodding in response.

“Yep. Rubble must have dropped on his head and killed the poor bastard.”

“Killed?” Daring laughed. “Nothing kills Ahuizotl. Like I said, he’s come back from worse.”

“He’s come back because no one destroyed this.” She held the soul in her hands up. “He’d eventually reform if you just left this alone.” Before anyone could say much else, she brought it to her mouth and ate the thing in one bite. The ponies around her all watched in varying degrees of disgust as she chewed and swallowed. “There, now he won’t be coming back.”

“Soul!” Applejack growled. “What did I say?!”

“You said you didn’t want to kill him, which you didn’t. The building and his own desperation did that. Besides, if you think about it, I technically killed him by eating his soul, not you.” Applejack seemed to want to argue more but shook her head and stormed off, leaving Soul standing there confused. “What?”

Author's Note:

Uh... words.

Nailed it!