• Member Since 9th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen July 29th

Ponyess


I just recently started to write stories directly towards the FiM actively, though I have been writing for years, publishing numerous stories at Mibba and the eventual pony story, as far as to the MLP

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This story is a sequel to The Blue Balloon


I am a dreamer, this is what everyone told me from the earliest days I can remember. If they mean that I am an optimist, or if they refer to my imagination and that I see things they don’t, I have no idea.

Now I found a black balloon on my bed as I enter my bedroom. It is one of these extra thick rubber balloons. Not a toy balloon of any kind, and not one of these cheap plastic variants. What is up with this, I have no idea.

Waking up in the middle of the night, a beauty standing before the door in my room. Is she a Valkyria, the lady of olden legend, leading you into the hereafter? Either way, she takes me to where I could never have gone to.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 4 )

What... In the name of fuck.... Is this? Just.. What? Is this supposed to be a troll fic? media.giphy.com/media/cKiclfE45nViE/giphy.gif

5859482 It is about a girl finding a balloon, enebling Luna to escort her overnight.
Could you please elaborate as to what is bothering you and why?

For now, I feel as if I should thank you for at least saying something. I hate to see numerous dissers with no explanation as to why.

Maybe I should ask if you saw the Pilot of the new season as well, I included a character from the newly discovered village.
If it is the name, that is a name for the girl, and had nothing to do with the Princess either.
Sometimes I like to use names that looks asif thy were adapted for Equestria, as opposed to other names I previously used.

5859509 First off, you didn't introduce the main character at all.(Character development?) You didn't mention the ballon was on the bed in the story, only in the description. (p.s. In the disc It should be bedroom , not bead room.) Second: The main character comes off as insane because she is apparently hearing a balloon talk. Third: She gets into a balloon? Yeah, you should mention that this balloon is huge, or she is the smallest human to exist. I should mention that no sane person would try to fit themself into a balloon! Fourth: Is the main character socially awkward? Because even if comfortable, no one normal would answer a door wearing a balloon. Five: You misspelled honor, and white.

5859597 The typos cn be corrected, and fairly easily at that. I do miss a few from time to time.
As to this balloon, it isn't a regular balloon, some details to this effect was inserted along the story.
Her personality may be a bit out of the ordinary, even when most of the scene is actually in her dream.

There are refferences towards her origin, not sure if these does make any sense to others?
Early refferences to her age suggest her not to be adult as well.

Now, I will go over the story in order to pick up as much as I can from your points, in order to make the story flow better, and see what I can do about the other details along the way.

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