{Edited} Chapter Two - Where They Fell
Starbrought
The night was serene. Only a few trace clouds floated over from the forest on the outskirts of the desert several miles away. The stars shone brilliantly, and created a perfect picture for one to easily enjoy the beauty that was Princess Luna’s night sky.
Amongst the seemingly endless dunes that made up the Zebrican Desert, a lone flame burned in the center of a group of ponies pulling supplies off of an ornate wagon. From the moonlight reflecting off the majority of their armor, one could make the assumption they were soldiers. Princess Cadance's Royal Guard, to be precise.
“Can you believe that we are going to be seeing this?” Princess Cadance exclaimed as she finished assisting her guards in constructing their campsite. It wasn’t completely finished, but the guards were determined to do the work themselves. After all, Cadance was a Princess, even if she wasn’t as well known as either of her aunts, and it was the duty of the Guard to tend to their Princess’ needs when traveling.
Her accompanying Captain of the Guard and friend of almost fifteen years, Shining Armor, chuckled as Cadance repeatedly broke royal mannerisms to let out a series of excited giggles. “Don’t worry mi’lady. From what I’ve read, the Night of the Falling Skies is truly a sight to behold,” he said with a grin. “And we couldn’t have asked for a better view.”
“Or better company,” Cadance added, lightly nudging Shining Armor’s shoulder as she strode past. The unicorn stallion watched her walk away toward some of the non-guard ponies that were always assigned to be part of the royal escort, briefly admiring the gently swaying of her flanks as she walked.
Shaking his head to clear away the indecent thoughts his mind was starting to venture toward, he spun around to face the rest of his troops, looking for two in particular. “Sergeant Iron Shield and Private Fierce Wind!” Shining Armor’s voice rang out. The Unicorn and Pegasus respectively snapped to attention, saluting their superior officer. “Establish a perimeter! I don’t want any surprises.”
“Yes, sir!” The two of them shouted as they took off to retrieve the necessary supplies and tools they brought with them for this security measure. They ran to the supply carriage to acquire their weapons before proceeding to circle the camp from a distance.
Fierce Wing flew ahead of Iron Shield, securing the dozen conduits that would serve as an early warning system (once Iron Shield activated them with his magic) in the sand. As Iron Shield activated the conduits, a beam of faint, pale blue light connected them together until the camp was surrounded with a glowing ring. The light persisted for several seconds after the last conduits were linked together before vanishing, leaving behind a hidden spell that only the most adept unicorn mages would be able to spot. Fierce Wing and Iron Shield nodded to each other before taking up positions at the Eastern and Western most points of the circle respectively.
Satisfied that the perimeter conduits were in position and active, Shining Armor turned back to his Princess. As she was gazing up expectantly towards the star-filled sky, he began take in everything about her. Despite the dim lighting from the moonless night, her coat seemed to positively glow, to an awe-inspiring degree. Her eyes glistened as her pupils shook slightly in unhindered excitement. She was beautiful, that much was obvious in his eyes, though he wasn’t in any position to voice his opinions on her appearance without her requesting it.
When she looked back towards him to see him ogling her, he turned his head away with a faint blush. No doubt the rosy cheeks were visible, but Cadance decided not to call him out as she asked, “Do you think I’m ready for all of this?” She turned her gaze back toward the night sky. Any moment now, the lights of the Night of the Falling Skies would be visible. “Am I really the right choice for setting up trade relations with the Zebras?”
Shining Armor turned his head back towards her. He wasn’t expecting the question, especially how she seemed so confident when she met with the leader of the Zebras, Shamon. For her to suddenly start second guessing herself made Shining Armor wonder how long she had had this mindset.
“Of course,” he replied immediately with a comforting smile. “I have complete faith in you. You handled that meeting like a pro. You had the Zebras practically eating out of your hooves.” A faint blush was visible on Cadance’s cheeks, almost unnoticeable in the dim light. Shining Armor strode over to her side and sat down next to her.
“Think about what this means for both Equestria and the Zebrican Republic. The only relationship our kind have ever had with one another was the occasional traveler Pony who wanted to explore the desert or a Zebra hermit who took up residence in Equestria. You just accomplished what neither Princess Celestia or Princess Luna ever accomplished.”
She took the words into consideration before smiling back at her Captain. “Thanks, Shiny,” He smirked in response as she rose her head towards the sky once more, “I needed that.” Deciding she might want some silence, Shining Armor elected himself to go and position the rest of the perimeter guards for the viewing.
“Corporal Shadow Wing!” A gray coated pegasus landed two feet before him in mid-salute. “Take Private Strong Hammer and Private Short Sword to the dune in the South and patrol the Neigh-el River near it. Alert me if anything seems out of the ordinary.” As the soldier launched himself into the air, Shining turned toward the rest of the guards. “The rest of you! Take turns finishing up camp and start the first watch!”
A resounding “Yes, sir!” echoed around the area as the guards went off to their various jobs. The aides that Cadance had brought with her begun to set up their own camp a small distance away from the guards camp. It was important to keep the two groups apart (or so the aides would claim), considering the aides and servants were actually of noble birth. So, the two groups kept their tents apart; the aides with their stylish and luxurious shelters, and the guards with their efficient and manageable ‘homes’.
Soon, all the tents had been set up, and everypony was getting comfortable for the Night of the Falling Stars. The guards not on duty were sitting around their campfire while they told stories and had a good time, while the more ‘snooty’ of the bunch (the aides) preferred to sip on cups of tea in a diamond-formation with no fire (they couldn’t have soot on their coats after all). As they did this, they regaled each other with sophisticated pieces using what instruments they were allowed to bring. And then, it began...
A single, shooting star shot across the sky, leaving a beautiful green and white trail in its way. The singular bolt was beautiful, in every sense of the word. And soon, it was joined by its brothers and sisters as the sky turned from a blank canvas, to a swirling masterpiece of colors that gave the night sky magnificence unmatchable by any artisan.
“It's beautiful, isn’t it Shiny?” Princess Cadance murmured as she stared at the light display.
Shining Armor gave her a glance out of the corner of his eye. Cadance’s eyes were practically sparkling with excitement. Though he wouldn’t ever admit it out loud, he could easily think of something more beautiful.
Silently chuckling to himself, he turned his gaze back upon the heavens. “It sure is,” he said. Cadance gave him a small smile and shifted herself closer to him, tilting her head slightly so it rested against him. Shining Armor did his best to hide the blush on his face.
'Focus,' He told himself. 'Keep yourself focused. She is your Princess. You are her Guard Captain. I am a coiled spring right now. Tension and power. Just… What the hay is that?'
A single, bright white light tinged with red and orange had turned away from the trajectory of the meteors filling the night sky. Instead it was angled toward the ground. More specifically, in the general direction of their camp.
Cadance’s eyes went wide with shock. “Shiny…” She rose to her hooves and started backing up nervously as the light rapidly grew larger and larger. Shining Armor stood up as well, his horn blazing with a bright, magenta light. The roar of flames could be heard now as the light rocketed toward their camp.
With a flash, a large, orb shaped shield surrounded the camp as Shining Armor cast his spell. The light collided with the shield and bounced off with a loud explosion, instead crashing into the sand several hundred yards away, where a second explosion shortly followed.
“What was that?” One of the guards exclaimed.
“It fell from the sky!” One of the aides shouted.
“You don’t say…” Shining Armor muttered under his breath. “Cadance? Are you… alright…?” His voice trailed off as he looked over at Cadance only to see her galloping in the direction of the fallen meteor. She looked back at him with a wide grin on her face.
“Are you coming?” She asked eagerly. Shining Armor didn’t even hesitate to nod his head in agreement. He had been ready to do the same thing.
“Let’s go!” He said, galloping after his Princess with a grin to match hers.
Starbrought
Sparks echoed around the ruined cabin of the Ethereal. Deadly, jagged pieces of twisted metal poked out of corners and pipes, ready to lacerate anything into submission. Smoke lingered around inside the interior, punctuated only by beams of moonlight coming from the now ruined cockpit and emergency lights. The smell of scorched metal hung heavily in the air, as was the smell of melted iron and burnt accessories. The distant sound of hissing gas, along with the dull sound of alarms going off, could be heard throughout the ship.
A noise similar to a groan originating from the cockpit echoed around the ship, and the same time bounced off the ruined walls of the ship. “Urgh... Drake, this is all your-” Yuri began before being interrupted by his own bout of hacking. He then collapsed onto the ground, coughing up a small storm.
After a few minutes of furious coughing, Yuri shakily stood back up and sat down in his barely-intact chair. A swift, intelligent statement flashed through his mind as the haze of the asthmatic-esque attack settled. I hope that Tritium doesn’t give radiation poisoning, or I’m going to be screwed, he thought as he began surveying the damage.
“If this didn't kill you, Drake, I will,” Yuri said to no one in particular. “Well then, let’s see how fucked we are.” The tech mumbled as he stood up and staggered towards the lift. The brief thought of not spotting Drake, and seeing Slayer slumped over his console flashed through his groggy mind as he rode down towards the main level of the Ethereal. As he walked through the now-ruined hallway, he began realizing just how much damage the ship took on its crash.
“Yup. I’m going to kill him,” he grumbled as he neared the cargo bay, checking to make sure all of his booze he had looted from the Leviathan was still intact. Thankfully, it seemed most of it survived. Yuri frowned in sadness at the few shattered bottles leaking their contents across the floor.
Yuri's body and blood froze when he heard something similar to footsteps coming down the same hall he just walked. His hand reached towards his belt, swiftly drawing his pistol as he closed in on the sound. It was heavy, sporadic, and grunts of what sounded like pain echoed off behind every step. He just barely looked around the corner only to come face-to-face with Slayer’s mask.
The result of the near-headbutt involved Yuri jumping back in fright while the hunter’s metallic body remained unwavering. The armour was relatively sound, but a small crack had formed on the forehead of the battle-glass.
“Oh, hey Slayer,” Yuri muttered weakly as he straightened up to look at the other pirate.
“Where’s Drake?” was Slayer’s brisk response as he walked over and patted down a slightly upturned foot locker. He plucked a grenade from the depths of the container, and clipped it to his utility belt.
Yuri was about to respond when he froze. He hadn’t seen him since he woke up and walked about. His face took on a look of horror. “I... I don’t know.”
Slayer raised an eyebrow at this through the concealment of his helm and dragged his hand over his ‘face’. When his hand brushed over the crack on his helmet, he groaned and turned on his heel to walk towards his workspace. “Great...” Slayer trailed off as he began maneuvering past fallen debris and bent paneling, “I have a cracked screen.”
Yuri furrowed his brow and pursed his lips in concern. 'If Drake wasn’t onboard, where is he...? Actually, the more pressing question is whether I can still get revenge on him for crashing us or not...'
As the technician considered the implications and possible murder methods of the missing pirate captain, Slayer strolled into his workspace and magnetically locked the door. Surprisingly, it was still-functioning despite all the turmoil the Ethereal took on its ‘graceful landing’. Satisfied that everything was in order and that he was alone, he wandered over towards one of the cargo canisters that hung on the wall. He pried it open with his left hand and gazed inside.
This particular one had three stout shelves built into it. The largest on the top had three items on it. A datapad that held some schematics for a few modifications on his sword, a small welding torch, and finally, a spare battle-glass replacement. He ignored the contents of the lower shelves as he plucked the replacement and closed the container.
Slayer slowly tilted his head, hearing and feeling the beautiful symphony of popping. He sighed and tapped his helm. It was an unneeded gesture since everything was neural-based, but he performed the physical movement regardless for kicks. As the damaged charcoal mask clattered to the floor, he let his fingers idly trace over his exposed visage. Silence loomed in the room before he gripped the replacement firmly in his two hands, and slid it into position. It locked with a satisfying hiss, and Slayer went to work syncing the piece to his Suit.
Once he had finished, he picked up the useless predecessor and lazily tossed it towards a bin filled with similarly out-of-commission parts. He popped open the lock on the door, and strolled outside while closing it once again. He glanced around, only to see he was alone. 'Where the hell did he go...?'
Meanwhile, Yuri had left Slayer to his devices and was now intently staring at the steel door that led to the currently-radioactive engine room. He looked through the small port in the door, making sure that the engine was still intact, but more importantly to make sure that the Reactor pressure vessels weren’t damaged. The room was a total mess. However, from what Yuri could tell on the panels—and what he could see with his trained eyes—it was still doing its job. He sighed a breath of relief and slumped down, taking a rest.
Slayer had elected to go to one of the nearby terminals and log in. They had several scattered about the various rooms, so basic stats and system commands were available damn-near anywhere one would need them. His purpose for doing this was two things: one was scanning the entirety of the ship for both of the other pirates' positions, the other was assessing the planet outside.
Needless to say, he was surprised about the latter.
The planet, from what he could gather as they plummeted towards its surface, was strikingly similar to coastal planets that other explorers had discovered in the past couple of centuries. Yet, the atmosphere he was witnessing (as indicated from the semi-functioning atmospheric sensors) was far more varied. The mixed biomes were complete polar opposites, and so close too. 'A rain forest next to a desert? How does that even work?!'
The only other planet Slayer knew about with semi-similar conditions like this was Earth.
'I truly wonder whether this is it or not,' Slayer pondered as he locked onto Yuri’s position. Drake’s was unknown on the ship, which made him weary of the hall he stood in. Realizing however, that the tech was standing outside the room where the gas breach occurred during their ‘landing’, he removed a gas mask from the emergency casing on a nearby wall and lowered himself into the Engine room. “Yuri, what’s the situation?”
Yuri glanced behind himself at the question, and turned back. “The good news is that the Reactor vessels are alright, so we can cross out ‘being vaporized’ off our ‘Ways to Die’ list. The door is sealed until the radiation has been cleaned out of it, so we are not getting out of wherever the hell we are until...” He paused as he spun around slowly and gestured towards the mask. “Why the hell did you bring a gas mask? Tritium probably works through the skin, which renders your mask useless.”
If Yuri could see Slayer’s face, it would closely resemble a deadpanned stare. “It was for you,” he stated in a flat tone as he chucked the face-wear at Yuri, “never mind now, I suppose.” With that said, Slayer twisted around and started walking back to the Cockpit without another word. 'Last time I care about the ass.'
“Someone's on their man period...” Yuri muttered tactlessly before turning his head back towards the hall Slayer went down. “Hey, wait for me!” He yelled, standing up and running after the pirate. Half of the reasoning for not wanting to be near the Engine room where he nearly died, and the other for not wanting to be lonely.
As Slayer heard the shout, he was already in the lift, ready to push the button to ascend. As he briefly poked his head out and saw Yuri barreling towards him, he quickly pulled back and started frantically pressing the ‘up’ button. He hated riding the lift with Yuri. Nine times out of ten, a disgusting smell would arise, and Yuri would politely state in a frustrating tone: excuse me. 'Come on... come on...'
He smirked triumphantly as the door closed milliseconds before Yuri could slide in. He heard a small bout of cuss words before the door opened up to the cockpit. Thankfully, the actual electronics managing the systems themselves seemed to be in relatively good shape. It wouldn't take much elbow grease to fix. It was here, though, that Slayer noticed something off.
The window directly in front of Drake’s chair was shattered, replaced with a metal sheet slid into place. As he walked toward the chair, he noted the subtle tilt of the captain’s chair in the same direction as the port. Suddenly, pieces were coming together about their missing ‘leader’...
Starbrought
Several Hours Earlier
Pieces of the Ethereal’s outer hull lay scattered around Drake. When they had slammed into the sandy surface of the planet, the pirate captain had been thrown from his chair and through the damaged view-port. He was fortunate the Ethereal hadn’t crushed him as it continued to bounce, skid and slide for several hundred yards.
All around him, dunes of sand rose and fell like gentle waves in the ocean. Drake’s unconscious form lay splayed over the granules, his left arm bent around at an unnatural angle. His chest rose and fell slightly, the only indicator of life within him. Blood steadily flowed from the cut on his forehead, the sticky goo trickling down his temple and pooling in the hot sand. Shards of glass and metal stuck out from various parts of Drake’s body, none of them digging too deeply into his skin to be immediately life threatening. He moaned a little in his unconsciousness, pain evident in his face.
The pain woke him if only briefly. He tried to fight through the blurry vision fighting against him, and faintly noticed it was nighttime. If he wasn’t so injured, he would have laughed at his luck. 'Wounded, in a desert at night. At least I’ll be warm when the sun comes up.'
He attempted to raise himself from the sand, only for several pinprick-like sensations to course through his body. This unexpected surge brought him back down to the ground below him, and let out yet another moan of pain. Besides the small amount of crackling fire from the debris around him, that he could recognize in his state, he found interest in two particular sounds; voices from a short distance away. He couldn’t tell what they were saying, but he didn’t much care.
'The others must’ve woken up,' Drake thought as he closed his eyes. 'They’ll drag me back to the ship and patch me up.'
As he succumbed to the void of unconsciousness, the voices became more pronounced. In fact, one of them sounded feminine. The slight sound of sand parting for footsteps were far more common than what one would think from two bipeds. Though, the two equines approaching the crash site proved a reliable answer for this.
The excitement was evident in every bouncy step Princess Cadence took as she approached the flaming debris. She didn’t imagine that one meteorite would land so close, and now her inner astronomer was leaking out; desperate for exploring this rare occurrence. Most rocks that fell through from the Night of the Falling Skies burned up and shrunk to the size of marbles. So the fact that one of this size could even survive (let alone land so close), well, there was no excuse not to go.
Concerned for her safety, Shining Armor tagged along. He figured the rest of the Guard could handle the site, and rarely was there anything dangerous at this point of night in the deserts. Of course, that didn’t stop him from arranging such a force. Not to mention of course, he saw no harm in sharing in her excitement, especially if he got to spend some time alone with his Princess. Shining Armor idly glanced over at Cadence as they approached.
“You seem really eager,” he commented.
She shook herself out of her exuberant stupor, having briefly forgotten that he was with her. “Oh, it’s going to be wonderful! Though, perhaps we should have brought some more Guards so we could snag a larger sample...”
He shrugged. “It means we’ll have more stuff to carry, and a higher chance of dropping them.” He smirked, “Though, between the two of us, I’m sure we’ll be able to acquire more than necessary.”
After the statement, the duo remained in silence as they stopped. It was certainly... different than what they were expecting a hunk of rock from space to look like from up close. For one thing, it looked metallic. Yet, any attempts to find out would result in a burn, as was quickly shown by Shining Armor’s attempt to poke the side to confirm.
Small fires illuminated the nearby area with its warmth. The brief afterthought of two explosions reverberated in their minds. Could a rock do that? Could it explode twice? Cadance thought curiously.
Shining paused though as he saw a piece of metal sitting in the sand. Curious, he walked over and touched it. Not the best idea sure (if his previous attempt was any testament to that fact), but he tested it regardless. However, unlike the larger piece of the behemoth, it was only slightly warm, just cool enough to touch safely. He picked it up with ease, confirmed that it was indeed metal. He turned his head to look at Cadence, who had begun strafing the rock. “Cadence, I found a piece of metal. What do you suppose this is exactly?”
She paused in her walk to speak. “I’m... not sure,” she said, striding over to stare at the metal chunk in her Captain’s hoof. “I know some meteorites contain chunks of metal, but beyond that…” Before she could even begin to wonder how the metal formed a perfectly flat surface, a groan sounded out from just over the edge of the trench the falling space debris had carved into the sand.
Both of their ears revolved towards the sound, followed by their heads. As their horns began to illuminate with the faint aura of light casting spells, Cadence took cautious steps backwards to address her current Guard. “You heard that too?”
He nodded. “I’ll go first-”
“No, I’ll go first,” Cadence interrupted. Shining mentally groaned at the passion and brashness in her eyes. “I can take care of it. Besides, it didn’t sound threatening. It sounds like something’s in pain.”
Shining snorted lightly in exasperation. “We’ll go at the same time?”
Cadence was about to disagree, before another short groan reached their ears. She lowered her hoof and nodded. When both were side-by-side, they carefully inched their ways around, ready to strike down anything that was waiting for them. But when they peered into the ditch, all they spotted was some strange beast, lying down, occasionally groaning in pain.
“What is that?!” Cadence whispered frantically. The two pairs of eyes were looking at the body of... something. It seemed to be a weird cross of several creatures, much like a Manticore. It had the upper body similar to a Minotaur, while its legs seemed to thicker and more proportionate to its body, much like that of a Diamond Dog. Another striking feature of the being was its clothing. It was nothing like they've seen before.
One particular thought began to gain momentum the longer they stared at the incapacitated body. This creature was something Cadance had never seen before, and in her studies over the years, she had seen images and descriptions of almost every known creature in Equestria and beyond. And the one in the ditch was unlike anything she had ever seen before. Which left one wild, highly unlikely possibility.
It was... an alien.
Starbrought
“So, let me get this straight..." Yuri asked, confused and in disbelief as he sat in his chair within the cabin. "During the crash, Drake flew out of the window—breaking the Quartz glass in the progress, which is no small feat—and might have somehow avoided being crushed by the Ethereal during its landing?”
Slayer nodded as he stood over the Captain’s chair in the cockpit. He had basically pieced together what happened rather easily: the jar of the impact sent Drake, who was closest to the remaining undamaged port window, through the sheet and landed outside. Though, whether he wasn’t crunched by the ship or not was something they’d have to go outside to find out.
“So... What do we do next?" Yuri thought out-loud as he began slowly spinning in his chair. A thoughtful expression appeared on the engineer's face. "I mean; we could just go out there and try to find Drake, if he hasn't been crushed and/or eaten by a predator. But..."
Slayer considered it as he strode towards the lift. “I’ll look first. If I find a trace that Drake isn't somehow out there, follow and leave a trail so we have a means to get back here.” He stepped into the tight elevator and turned back to face the tech as his hand hovered over the button. “Got it?”
“Roger. In the meantime, I’m going to try to find out how badly the ship is fucked!” Yuri affirmed as he spun back around and started typing commands into the control panel, suddenly humming a rather cheerful tune to himself.
Slayer nodded as he pressed the ‘descend’ button. Upon the closing of the lift's door, however, Slayer's body sagged and he raised a middle finger towards the direction of the cockpit. He hoped Yuri got that. 'He’s far too hyper for his own good,' he thought with the slightest sneer as he walked out the door and did a sharp right. As he proceeded down the narrow hallway towards the rear exit, he did a quick check of his systems.
The crash didn't seem to rough up any of his power cells, nor any of his weapons, which was good. It was one thing to be stranded on an unknown planet. It was another to be stranded on an unknown planet without really big guns.
Noting the sufficient power level to keep him going without a recharge, Slayer finished his walk to the main circular chamber of the Lower Deck. Opposite of the way he just came was the rear hatch door, sitting in silence and shut off from the howling sands outside. The several rooms to his right from back-to-front was his workspace, the Kitchen/Med-bay, and two storage rooms for smaller goods that couldn’t fit into the Cargo Bay. The center of the chamber was occupied with a holographic planetary map. Of course, since they didn’t know where they were, it was indistinguishable from a nameless blue orb suspended in mid-air.
The rooms to his left were the dorms for the crew. He had the left one, Drake had center, and Yuri had the one of the far right. He briefly walked into his room and navigated towards his cot. It was a simple, cramp thing, but its secret compartment made a good alcohol storage unit. After having a good swig of whatever liquor he could get his hand on first, Slayer hid it once more and strode out towards the rear hatch to start his ‘investigation’.
“Well... this is one lovely mess we got ourselves into,” Yuri quietly said to himself as he looked over the worsening reports the computer was sending him. Apparently in the crash, the ion cannon had been nearly ripped out of its containment cell for transport and plasma was ‘leaking’ into the atmosphere. If the breach was not sealed in time and a fire happened to reach the leak, the area around the ship would transform from a lifeless sea of sand into a dry, radioactive hunk of green glass.
The only good thing he had found out was that the fields that held the antimatter in place were still doing their job rather well. That would keep the Engines from self-imploding and taking out everything in a sixty-foot radius. He had sent the repair bot he registered in the Cargo Bay to fix the plasma problem, but with no date on when that was going to be done, they were going to have to watch every little bit of heat they made.
“Speaking of life-threatening heat-induced explosions, let’s see what Slayer’s up to...” Yuri muttered as he turned on the tracking chip that he had managed to sneak into Slayer’s suit the day they were taking shore leave on that one planet with the hot chicks. He couldn't remember which one that was.
Meanwhile, as Slayer rounded towards the helm of the downed Ethereal, he stopped. As his hand idly scratched his helm frantically, he growled in annoyance. 'There’s that damn beeping again,' he thought angrily as the noise started. It wasn’t that it was loud, or that it was obnoxious, but the fact that he could never figure out where it’s coming from irritated him to no end.
Trying to distract himself from it, he finished circling the head of the ship. As from what the scans showed, it was indeed a desert by his acute observations. Sand covered the area for miles upon miles. Though, considering the high dunes, Slayer couldn’t figure out if that forest he saw when they came in was visible from his position or not.
The sounds of dulled alarms mixed in the sounds of the Repair Drone R1-B5 as it maneuvered around the exterior of the Ethereal. Contrary to what Drake thought, Slayer had actually kept the husk of the droid and had been repairing it since its fateful destruction. He realized that he finished the repairs a long while ago, but forgot to activate the control cluster and turn it on. He rectified that error before he left the ship.
He glanced at the white, multi-armed robot as it was welding together a crevice in the hull. The sparks it was emitting helped light the darkness around the ship as it was cloaked with the night. After giving a respectful nod towards the machine—for the assassin always had a certain fondness towards things that weren't of minimal intellect—Slayer examined the area in front of him.
It wasn’t much to work with. There were shards of glass, and even some blood, but no Drake. He lowered himself to the spot where he could see the outline of where Drake's body used to lie, and allowed his hunting instincts to surface once more.
From the looks of it, the captain's body wasn’t dragged. Therefore, either something stood over him and picked him up from there, or he was picked up by some anti-gravity emitter. Slayer tapped his helm, and the interface changed accordingly. A green reticule appeared in the center, and began frantically moving about the area.
His Hunter Module was proficient at what it did; being able to pick up subtle tracks and DNA samples of targets through what many would consider impossible means. There were no impressions near the spot, so the former option of up-close retrieval seemed far less likely. Yet, any readings for anti-grav signatures weren’t coming in either.
Slayer let out a calming breath as he observed the surrounding area closer. That’s when he saw it. Two separate pairs of hoof prints. They were weathered due to the desert wind, but they were still recognizable by the Hunter Module even in the night’s glow. Seeing the clue, Slayer quickly moved himself to be adjacent to the marks, and examined them more closely.
It was from an equine. No doubt about that. Though, what kind or what species was hazy. But, this proved something valuable: the slavers (as assumptions would predict) used the four-legged creatures as not only transportation, but to move Drake. However, this didn't lead into how they moved him without using an anti-grav emitter, or without picking him up physically.
'Doesn't matter. I got tracks of their animals and that’s all I need,' Slayer thought as he stood fully. He let his reticule hover over the print, before it was encompassed in a faint purple light. A similar trail of the light led both towards and away from the crash site. He couldn’t help but smirk.
“Yuri, I’ve got a trail. Let’s move,” Slayer muttered as he started to slowly stalk the path, one heavy footstep at a time.
Starbrought
“Fascinating, simply fascinating,” Medical Officer Quick Mend muttered as he stared under the sheet concealing the creature Princess Cadance and Shining Armor had brought back from the meteor crash site. The pale orange light around his horn faded and he allowed the sheet to drop back over the creature. Cracking his neck, Quick Mend turned to face the Princess and the Captain.
“And you’re saying you just ‘found’ this poor beast lying out in the middle of the sand?” He inquired. “Judging by his injuries, he very well couldn’t have walked all of the way out there. He’s covered in his own blood, for pony’s sake!”
“How do you know it’s a ‘he’?” Shining Armor interrupted. “I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.”
“Captain, I have spent many years of my life learning about and thoroughly studying various branches of medicine. From basic pediatrics to the vastly more complex study of Hydra anatomy,” Quick Mend said, using his magic to slide his glasses further up his face. “I have numerous degrees in several different fields. And this is not my first time examining a creature with which I have no familiarity. What is the main, defining feature of a male across many species?”
A faint blush appeared on Cadance’s cheeks almost right away and she averted her gaze. Shining Armor stared blankly at Quick Mend for nearly half a minute before his eyes widened in realization.
“Oh. Oh!” He stammered. “I… um… I see. Then. Yes. Right.”
Quick Mend rolled his eyes and turned away from the two ponies awkwardly shuffling away from each other.
“Behaving like foals in a Health Studies lecture,” he muttered to himself as he peeked beneath the sheet once more. “I can clean up his wounds and sterilize them so he doesn’t die anytime soon. But we’ll need to get him back to Canterlot as soon as possible.” That seemed to break the awkward tension between the Princess and the Captain as they exchanged a mildly worried look.
“Why back to Canterlot?” Shining Armor requested. “It could be dangerous. Is it a good idea to bring it to our capital?”
“Was it a good idea to bring it to a small, isolated camp of a Princess where most of her guards have never seen actual combat against an unknown enemy?” Quick Mend snapped. This led to more awkward shuffling, mostly from Cadance. She had been the one to insist on bringing the creature to Quick Mend after all. “No, but you did it anyway. Besides, it’s severely wounded and probably can’t fight anyway, even if it is violent. And once we’re in Canterlot, plenty of guards will be able to come running should he wake up and decide to kill us all.”
“Have I ever told you that you’re pleasant to have around?” Shining Armor muttered. Quick Mend merely grunted in response. Shining Armor rolled his eyes and turned to face the Princess, who was staring at the sheet with an expression of pity. “It’s your call, Your Highness. We can bring this guy back to Canterlot with us, or we can leave him here.”
“If we leave him here, he’ll die, regardless of what Quick Mend does to help him,” Cadance said sadly.
“I know,” Shining Armor said, dropping his voice so none of the other guards nearby could hear him. “But he is an alien, Cadance. There’s no other explanation for it. His clothes, the pieces of metal in that trench he was next to, the fact that it probably wasn’t a meteor at all. Even Quick Mend couldn’t identify what he was.” Shining Armor glanced back at the sheet, watching as it slowly rose and fell in time with the creature’s breathing.
“That doesn’t mean we should leave him to die out here,” Cadance said. “All living things have a right to live. We are not gods who decide whether somepony can live or die. We need to give him a chance.”
“Then we’ll bring him back to Canterlot,” Shining Armor gave her a salute. “We’ll just adjust our schedule so we arrive at night when there are fewer ponies out that can ask questions.”
“I agree,” Cadance said as she rose to her hooves. “We’d best get moving then. The sooner we get back, the better the chance that this poor creature will live.”
“You heard the Princess,” Shining Armor barked at the other guards. “Break down camp, and load up the wagon! We need to get back to Canterlot by tomorrow night! Understand?”
“Yes, Sir!”
Starbrought
The desert moon hung in the late-night sky, bathing the sand in a refreshing pearl glow. A man walked across the barren plains, his green and grey attire marred with streaks of black and red where fire and blood covered his once pristine clothes. "Sla-yer~!" he sung, hands cupped around his mouth, eyes dancing in mirthful joy, giddy and rushing with the adrenaline that only came to men who had farted in the face of death. Yuri lost the bounty hunter some time ago, and the fear of being alone was starting to get to him. "Slayer, you lug-nut! I know you're out there! Come out, come out wherever you—ACK!"
Yuri was suddenly pulled backwards behind a large rock that he had not bothered to check in case anything was lying in wait. A armoured hand was clasped over his mouth, and he was staring into the lifeless visor of his shipmate. While the words weren’t completely recognizable, the gist of what Yuri said in a relieved tone through his muffled mouth was: “Well, that was rather successful, if I do say so myself.”
Slayer regarded the tech with a deadpanned stare, still holding him in a vise. His left arm covered Yuri’s mouth (which was known to cause issues, and become quite annoying if not attended to), as his right arm wrapped around Yuri’s left and pinned it to his side. His right hand found itself on the technician’s throat, his thumb blocking off what should have been any attempt at making sound. “Yuri,” he started in a low, deliberate voice. “I'll say this only once; shut up, before you get us killed. You’ve got a comlink.”
After promptly letting him go, Slayer peeked over the rock. They had been following the trail for a while now, yet the trail continued to keep on going for what seemed indefinitely. He still didn’t really understand how the trail was shaped. It seemed constant, which was odd because nomads who still used animals for transportation couldn’t have any source of keeping the beasts going unless they rested. But, there seemed to be no interruptions in the trail. Either the rides didn’t drink water nearly as often as other animals did—the name ‘camel’ abruptly came to Slayer's mind—or they made some ancient device to do such.
He motioned for Yuri to follow him once more, and double-checked to make sure that Yuri’s tracers were still making a detectable trail. About every hundred feet or so, Slayer told Yuri to place a tracer. They actually didn’t do much in their current state, unless you had the right equipment. In the pirate's cases, it was in Slayer's helm. They remained unlit, yet their signatures from just sitting there was enough for Slayer to track. They were well-hidden as well, most taking on a similar camouflage of the sandy plains before them. Once he was satisfied with the definite path back to the Ethereal, Slayer stood and began following the trail once more.
“Slayer, hold up for a second,” Yuri called over the comlink. “I’ve got something really weird on the thermal,” he said, staring at the small screen that showed them the thermal view of the surrounding area. Slayer let out a silent scoff as he turned around and walked back to where Yuri was. The dim glow-stick lights hung limply on the engineer's waist as he examined the small portable terminal he had. Slayer could see clearly in the dark, a result of his training to hunt down his targets in the dead of night; however, Yuri needed something to help his vision.
'Because he’s a blubbering imbecile and slept through that course the Imperials issued to their recruits,' Slayer told himself, mentally rolling his eyes at his rather-incompetent companion. The realization of Slayer's genuine situation was also having its toll on his state of mind. Having a fool like Yuri around was not going to make things better.
“Have you ever seen tracks like this before? The thermal is having a damn-near aneurysm over them,” Yuri whispered, pointing towards the ever-fading trail of worn marks that were a fair distance away.
Slayer briefly glanced at the trail that passed them. “Only in data entries,” he replied as he lowered himself once more to analyze the markings. It was a wide trail. What must have been passing was a caravan, which the scouts that picked up Drake must’ve linked up with after the capture. Some wheel tracks were noticeable, which also reinforced the earlier suspicion of it being a convoy of sorts, and Slayer returned his attention to the tech standing in front of him.
“So..." Slayer was detecting a habit in Yuri's idiotic speech pattern. "Where do we go from here, Slayer?” Yuri had stopped and gazed downwards, looking right at what he guessed where Slayer’s eyes would be pointed behind the mask. ”I mean... we’re nearly out of trackers; from what I can tell, it’s going to be day soon. And I do not want to be stuck in a desert during the middle of the day. So, what now? How are we going to get our dumbass Captain back from something that we have no idea what it is or can do?”
'If he says the word "so..." one more time, I'm going to break his teeth,' Slayer mused cruelly. The hunter rose to his feet and pondered the question set before him by his dolt of an ally. 'Hmm. Nearly out of tracers. And that’s all we got, from what Yuri could find, to get back..'
Slayer's eyes slowly absorbed the sandy landscape, ensuring there were no snipers nor scouts of any sort monitoring their position. 'If we keep following this trail, and it’s a dead end; we’ll be screwed,' Slayer thought as he began tapping his finger against his hip. 'And that raises another possibility. I know natives aren’t usually the best armed, or the most skilled fighters (never mind intelligent); but take them too lightly and you could easily wind up dead.'
Slayer grunted in irritation at the situation. This was one of the reasons why he didn't just assume direct control over the Cerberus Pirates and declared himself Captain. He may have had a knack for thinking things fairly through, and solving issues with a bit of rational thought, but with nothing to go on (which seemed to be the usual functioning of Cerberus' overall competence in strategy)...
The assassin didn't like this particular flavor of pressure. A fire-fight or the shadows stalking a target was his domain; not sulking about a desert tracking a potential dead-end of someone he hardly trusts even after some odd years. Slayer's tapping became slightly more frantic, turning from quarters notes to eighth notes. Finally, Slayer simply turned towards the trail leading off into the unknown and started walking without another word.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Yuri exclaimed, breaking the ‘no shouting’ rule. Slayer made no retort as he continued to follow the trail. He grew farther and farther away as Yuri just stood there, confused and starting to feel peckish. “Slayer! If this is goodbye, then I’d better tell you that the picture was a lie! It never existed at all! It was just a plan Drake and I hatched to get you knocked out so we could sell your armor for scrap—”
Slayer calmly cut in without missing a beat. This wasn't the first time Yuri had gone off the deep end, and began trying to cope with situations the only way he knew how; stupidity. Slayer decided that maybe feeding the fire would shut him up, or at least he could undermine what little brainpower the engineer had.
Did Slayer ever mention how much he extremely disliked Yuri? Because he did. A lot.
“I knew of the plan. You left the intercom on when you talked to Drake about it in the cockpit. Meanwhile, I still have the picture of you pissing on civilians from a rooftop a year back.” His voice took on a smug tone as he kept walking with no intents on waiting for his crewmate to follow. “The best part of that piece of blackmail I have on you is that you were so intoxicated you can’t even remember it.”
Yuri frowned in irritation. Did he really, or was Slayer lying to him? He could never tell. “Oh... So it's the blackmail game you want to play, eh?!" With aggression, he took a step forward. "I have the name of the person that helped you with that little ‘problem’ of yours, and I’m sure everyone—alien or not—would love to hear that story. Right, Slayer? Or should I say—”
Once again, Slayer stopped him. Though, by now, he paused his trek as he reached the fifty-foot mark of distance between the two. Obviously, Yuri refused to set aside these petty jabs of blackmail. The assassin felt as if he was dealing with a child. A large, mentally-incompetent man-child. “I created that false identity. The ‘problem’ was that I needed some tools to help eliminate a contact.” He briefly glanced at the tech in exhaustion, and even dragged his hand over his visor again to accent his frustration. “You took my vague hint as something absurd. So guess my ‘surprise’ when I got a call two days later saying that your technological signature had hacked into that account.”
Slayer idly gazed at his fingernails as he continued in a rather-monotone voice, despite him wearing gloves as he continued. “Since I assumed such an event would occur, the amount I placed in there to hire some goons to distract the fool was transferred to my personal account in advance.” Slayer noted this unusual break in his usual stoic silence, and simply ended the conversation at that, hoping that Yuri would stop as well. 'Check, and mate. Now please; shut up and let us get a move on—'
“Did you really think that they could actually trace my signature?” A mocking laugh escaped Yuri’s throat. Slayer wanted to throttle him. Slayer mused to himself as he attempted not to wring the fool's neck that being stranded appeared to have a more prominent effect on the engineer's psyche than originally anticipated. “No, that was a old friend of mine that owed me a debt. I made him hack it with a fake signature to throw you off, and also to provide a distraction for what I really got.”
Slayer’s mind already made a rebuttal, but he chose not to say it aloud. This transaction was worthless. They needed to find Drake, and Yuri acting like a bigger idiot than normal was most certainly not helping. 'Does he really have the gall to think he can outsmart me? I know his sig by heart, and it was the same one that breached the account. What a sad little fool.' An irritated snort left the hitman. 'I wish I had Drake instead.'
Yuri’s tone took on a darker form while the ex-bounty hunter mused, oblivious to the misery afflicting the assassin. “I have something I know that you would love to know. More than anything in the world. You know what I am talking about, don’tcha Mr. Slayer?”
The assassin merely cocked his head in confusion. “Um... not really.” 'What is he going on about...?' he paused to see the ever-descending moon. He grunted and went back to following the trail. “How about you walk and talk?” 'Before you waste more time with your childish arguments about the subject of blackmail,' he added as an afterthought.
“That sounds like much more fun, Mr. Slayer,” Yuri responded as he jogged to catch up. Slayer's eye twitched for every loud stomp that Yuri performed to close the distance. “Besides, I’d rather keep that information in my head for a little bit longer; it’d be a shame if someone got it before they were ready for it. I would hate to have to remove it.”
The armoured gladiator merely rolled his eyes in response. 'Truly, I don’t understand why I have to deal with this.' He inwardly groaned in his head as he continued to follow the path. 'Why couldn’t this have been where Drake and I had to find Yuri? At least I can tolerate Drake. Yuri... the best description for him is an arrogant and irritating younger brother. But stupider.' A hopeful expression appeared on the marauder's face. 'Maybe I can kill Yuri, and blame it on desert lizards?'
Slayer, in his lamenting, idly checked his power level. He snorted, though it appeared to go unnoticed by the mechanic beside him. 'Perhaps I should’ve done some upgrading before I left. Adding those new cells would’ve reduced the Hunter’s Module energy intake some,' he thought as silence once again reigned betwixt the two.
And silence continued to fall for quite some time until, of course, Yuri got bored. He slowed his movement down from a brisk walk to a normal pace, falling behind. He was bored to death, and Yuri figured this was probably going to be the only time that Slayer would even think about humoring him instead of ignoring him. “Slayer, I’ve been meaning to ask you this... but, what was it like to work for the Syndicate?”
The warrior gazed back at Yuri with a tilted head as he walked. Suspicion was slowly rising as Slayer squinted at the tech. It wasn't all that long ago that Yuri was acting like a sociopath; now all of the sudden he wanted life stories from the bounty hunter? “Why do you care?”
“We are in the middle of the desert for who-knows-how much longer, so I would like to hear what it was like to work for the Syndicate,” Yuri retorted.
In response, Slayer scoffed and turned back forward. 'Sure, why not? Hopefully it’ll shut him up,' he prayed as he recalled his time with the Syndicate. “It was... bland. The pay was above-average, and the targets were challenging, but besides that I wouldn’t have taken the job. The thugs there in the organization were not only morons, they were also stupid.” A brief void of conversation filled the air as he tried to gather his thoughts further.
“I didn’t say much to Parkins, if that's what you're asking. Only met the bastard twice. As such, I dealt with the more... simple, of his agents. There weren’t too many assigned breaks in between contracts, which led into me taking my own. I was the best they could find though, so they allowed my occasional brush-off of their orders.” Slayer had kept his eyes on the trail, but quickly flicked his eyes in Yuri’s direction. The returning expression was neutral. “Does that answer your question?”
“Pretty much, though I still would say that I would rather be on your side than the one I got myself into...” His eyes began to get distant as Yuri recalled his past. That he believed at one time he thought would be the best decision he had ever made. But, it had turned out to scar him in more places than just his arm...
Slayer nodded solemnly. “During some contracts, I heard dying stories about the Imperials, from Imperials. About how they worked...” There was another brief silence before Slayer continued. “Syndicate had some fools, but compared to others, they treated their guys right... sometimes.” Slayer finished lamely with an awkward shrug, before he began trudging up the hilly dune the trail went over.
“You got that right, Slayer,” Yuri laughed a little bit as he followed, before his eyes got that far off look again. He reached the crest along with Slayer to see yet more endless seas of sand. In the direction of where they fell, were barely-recognizable pieces of tech. But, Yuri merely looked towards the horizon of the rising sun in the opposite direction. As if he was staring into the past itself.
“You sure do...”
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dis be gud... i shall wait for more
Good, I can't wait for more!
I made an effort to read, and can say that you need to engage the readers with some sort of hook, especially with regards with the walk through the desert.
You see, there was a whole section where two people walked and talked about things that were of no real consequence to us, and made references to things that the audience have no attachment to. I mean :
What is that supposed to mean? It is supposed to make me feel impressed? or curious? or frightened?
It may be that this is some form of bonding scene to show the art of pointless conversation, in which case I support you fully, as such conversations help us to know more about characters, their likes, dislikes and quirks. But I didn't really get much from this conversation. However this is more like a scene in the new Star Wars trilogy where Obi wan and Anikin are going up in a lift and they're talking about stuff that they did and other stuff that happened whilst I'm watching them, hoping that someone will shoot them some time soon.
Other than that there's the thing with first paragraphs. The first two paragraphs for the chapter got the settings ready perfectly, however with regards to the last scene you didn't seem to replicate the success as there's excessive purple prose.
Here's how I would have written it:
The desert sun hung in the mid-morning sky bathing the sand in a harsh golden glow. A man walked across the barren plains, his green and grey attire marred with streaks of black and red where fire and blood covered his once pristine clothes. "Sla-yer" he sung, hands cupped around his mouth, eyes dancing in mirthful joy, giddy and rushing with the adrenaline that only came to men who had farted in the face of death. "Sla-yer, you bubblebutt! I know you're out there, come-out, come-out wherever you- ACK!"
Of course the last section with the humans suggested that they would walk out and begin following the tracks together so the ambush seems a little out of place with where we left them.
Other things that seemed out of place was things like :
or:
The rest of the chapter was good, although I do wonder why the doctor pony isn't the head of the royal guard instead of Shining Armour.
946226
Ah, I see you have several opinions on the desert scene that was technically under my 'payroll', as it were. Being the writer of Slayer, and writing alongside SovietBacon (who does the personality of Yuri), I felt compelled to answer this personally. I'll address each issue the best I can, and offer my own opinions alongside yours.
1.
“Since I assumed such, the amount I placed in there to hire some goons to distract the fool was transferred to my personal account in advance.”
What is that supposed to mean? It is supposed to make me feel impressed? or curious? or frightened?
I was attempting to go with the feeling of being impressed. I wrote this bit to try and show that Slayer wasn't some mindless, bloodthirsty hit-man. But rather, that he had intelligence and foresight to be able to analyse subjects with the skill of a scholar. Perhaps it wasn't specific enough, or perhaps it just wasn't need. This leads to...
2.
It may be that this is some form of bonding scene to show the art of pointless conversation, in which case I support you fully, as such conversations help us to know more about characters, their likes, dislikes and quirks. But I didn't really get much from this conversation. However this is more like a scene in the new Star Wars trilogy where Obi wan and Anikin are going up in a lift and they're talking about stuff that they did and other stuff that happened whilst I'm watching them, hoping that someone will shoot them some time soon.
Once again, I was going with the former. I did feel a similar sense of what you spoke up regarding the Star Wars scene, but I (hopefully) thought that it was fleshed out enough to be able for one to easily recognize that it was meant to help build characterization.
3.
The first two paragraphs for the chapter got the settings ready perfectly, however with regards to the last scene you didn't seem to replicate the success as there's excessive purple prose.
“Slayer!” A voice yelled across the desert, breaking the silence that had fallen. It was a lone bipedal figure [I know what a human looks like], its colors greatly contrasting against the yellow landscape surrounding it [which colours?]. Its appendages [hands!] at the end of its forearms reclined easily in its lower garment [pants!] pockets as the creature [human!] strolled leisurely. ”Slayer, where are you?” The voice called out again [Again? did I get dropped in the middle of something?], in a mocking voice as if he was looking for its pet [Doesn't look like he's mocking him]. “Slay-”
Ah. The dreaded 'purple prose'. One of my primary weaknesses in terms of third-person writing. To be honest, I have no rebuttals. It was overdone, and I accept that I screwed up. Your example, however. intrigues me. I would ask if I could implement it, but I'm overstepping boundaries as is with me writing this unsupervised.
4.
Other things that seemed out of place was things like :
Slayer idly gazed at his fingers, despite him wearing gloves as he continued.[how do gloves stop you from looking at your hands?]
or:
Slayer could see clearly in the dark; however, Yuri needed something to help his vision. Because he’s incompetent, Slayer told himself, mentally rolling his eyes at his companion. [lol wut, incompetent? how!]
Once again, another slip-up. I apologize for not thoroughly double-checking the scenes during my 'editing' attempt around midnight. The errors you noted were due to me forgetting a few key words that made sense of the actions and thoughts. They will be implemented soon, because for now I'm getting tired, and I fear I'll soon collapse on my keyboard.
That's all I felt I needed to address. I appreciate that you made the effort to read it, and thank you for pointing out my errors. Don't fret, for I'll fix these mistakes, posthaste!
For now, Dumbgamer99 must lie down for awhile...
947230
I may have come off a bit harsh when I said that I made an attempt to read, and would like to point out that I meant it to mean that I read the work with a critical eye, one that would have otherwise skimmed stuff and not cared about it in the slightest. I may come off as harsh, but it's cause I want to see you do good.
But with part 1, I must point out that such advanced character traits are pointless in the face of the baser ones. Seeing his haggling skills can be left for later, however a depiction of how serious he is, or how dry his humour is are things that make the character who they are fundamentally, with everything else acting as little more than window dressing. For example after the ambush Slayer could berate Yuri for getting himself lost, or being foolish enough to shout in a place where the local wildlife can pop out of the dunes and suck off his face. That would create a dynamic between the two that would make us want to see more.
I don't mind if you use my example, but rereading it I'm beginning to hate my own work (happens every time I try to write a fic), but I wouldn't want to force you to do anything that would break your group dynamic, this is your fic and here you guys are kings.
"A similar trail of the light led both towards and away from the crash site. He couldn’t help but smirk."
Not really digging the side story... seems like it kind of through the pacing off the story.
3# humm
