Crystal Wings

by Witching Hour

Chapter 2 - Consulting

Witching Hour sighed as she left Canterlot General Hospital at the end of the day. Despite the assured front she’d presented to Monkey Wrench, she wasn’t nearly as confident as she sounded as regards the procedure she had proposed. Her theories were sound, but putting them into practice was another matter entirely.

She came back from her thoughts as she realized where her steps had taken her as opposed to her original destination of her own home; the Palace. A half-relieved smile crossed her face as she went up through the gates, passing by guards without being questioned as to her purpose. Her gray hooves took her through the familiar halls up to a tower and she rapped gently on the door to the balcony.

“Princess Luna?” she called out tentatively after knocking. The door opened so quickly after her query that Witching Hour blinked in surprise for a moment before heeding the Princess’ wish that she join her at her watch.

“What troubles you, my student?” Luna asked without any preamble as she raised the moon into the dimming sky. Witching Hour gave her mentor a sheepish grin, blushing slightly at being called out for her visit so quickly. Witching Hour’s healing talents could only be taught by the doctors at the Hospital as it was far from the Princess of the Night’s area of expertise, so Luna was a distant yet attentive mentor to the young unicorn… And Luna always seemed to know when she needed to check on Witching Hour… Like now.

“I’m not sure it’ll work… The healing spell for Monkey Wrench,” she replied, her voice quiet and worried. “She’s so fragile right now… If it doesn’t work, it’d crush her more than the accident did…” Witching Hour went on. “I don’t want to see that hopeless expression on her face again…” she concluded with a sigh as she leaned against the railing.

She heard more than saw Luna come to stand beside her, so she wasn’t startled when Luna put a hoof at her shoulder. “Witching Hour… There’s only one limit to the magic we can perform… Do you know what that is?” Luna asked, her voice both serious and gentle.

Witching Hour turned to her mentor with a slightly confused expression as she shook her head. “There are lots of limits…” She opened her mouth again to start listing them but fell silent when Luna shook her head.

“No, my hopeful student… There is only one… And that is our will to see it succeed…” the princess said firmly, meeting Witching Hour’s eyes seriously. “If you have any doubt, no sound theory nor research will make it happen.”

Witching Hour stared at her mentor silently, her mind trying to work around Luna’s words. Luna gave her student a soft smile of understanding. “I suggest you get a good night’s sleep, Witching Hour. You have an important day tomorrow.”

Taking her dismissal, Witching Hour gave Luna a shaky, thankful smile. “Good night, Princess Luna,” she replied softly, then she turns and departs, heading back to her home near the hospital.

Author's Note:

SO! The second chapter, wherein we see Witching Hour is actually Princess Luna's student. I didn't choose this lightly as ConningOfficer knows, as well as several of my friends.

A problem I have is keeping my tenses straight... If you see any problems, please let me know! I also would love to hear if people are enjoying these characters as much as I am!

Thanks again for reading!
~Witching Hour 13

Comments

[ConningOfficer]

Congratulations on your first FIMFiction story! You're off to a good start - just remember that I'm a writer that is publishing chapters that are roughly 20 times the length of yours, which colors all my comments and perspectives.

Why do I mention that? You have a very solid backstory for each of your OCs, but those of us living in the peanut gallery don't know everything that you have planned. I am a poor editor for complicated tense structures, which is why I'm grateful for help, but the story seems to be solid from a grammar perspective.

My feedback thus far (aside from my preference for verbosity, long descriptions and large chapters) is: (1) Aside from the horrific injury, I haven't been given a solid reason or anecdote to emotionally connect with either of the OCs and (2) Princess Luna taking on a student is a Big Deal - this should be covered at length, and fairly soon. Again, congratulations on your first FIMFiction story!

[Witching Hour]

5855352
Long descriptions is actually one of my weak points, as I tend to go into too much detail, and I'm trying very hard to avoid it. I'm mostly trying for a short story right now, so keeping the huge descriptions out is a Thing... I think I'll take your suggestions though, and see where they take me... I already have a decent idea now - so I'm gonna run with it!

Thank you so much for your feedback and thank you for the congratulations!

[Cuy Val Dar]

Luna was distant, but attentive mentor to the young unicorn

I think there's an a missing there.

Other than that, I'm interested to see where this goes. To the next chapter!

[harts fire]

hum yep looks good.