• Member Since 11th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Frozen Quill


I'm just here to take in tales of grand adventure, love and romance. Then perhaps spin a few of my own.

E

Princess Celestia notices that since her sister's return, Princess Luna has grown more lonely each night. As Luna's older sister, she aims to solve the problem by getting Luna a companion. With luck, she meets a travelling merchant who sells her a wonderful gift to give to her sister. The origin of the gift comes from the far east.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 8 )

Incredible story! It came this * * close to bringing a tear to my eye! Would be cool to see a sequel!

6080771 Thank you! :pinkiehappy: And the their is a sequel. The Chained Luna Cycle is the joint sequel to all three of my previous fics. It makes me so happy that you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

HASN"T LUNA SUFFERED ENOUGH ????????

6288596 I still hope you liked the story. Her suffering and pain does get better in the sequel. 'The Chained Luna Cycle'. It's meant to be a very heart wrenching story, I think I did well given the upvote count. :twilightsheepish:

Well, present-tense fics usually aren't my favourite, but this fic wasn't chronically bad. The reading was quite difficult, though, because of the constant repetition. You may not have noticed, but when an author constantly repeats words in consecutive sentences it can make the reading feel a bit 'jumpy', so to speak. Also, you really need to review your use of apostrophes and speech, much of your dialogue feels too much like a read-aloud novel rather than spontaneous.

With a bit of work, though, I think this fic could have amazing potential, especially the ending. As it is, it didn't particularly inspire any particular emotions in me, but really could be a tear-jerker and, if you were to revise it with more emotive language and slightly better structure, it could be incredible.

7112679 I see, thank you. It is the first work I published as 'Frozen Quill', so there is bound to be differences between this and my newer works. I shall give it a look over. :twilightsmile:

6081980
You made me care about this fox, I had better find out the rest of the story, or I will be most put out. I am reading your stories from the bottom to the top. All together, besides some grammar that needs correcting, and some work on your past, present, and future tenses, this is a good story. I like it alot. It's fun and my only real complaint is that it is to short. However I am hoping that it continues elsewhere.

8995528
Rest assured it does continue in The Chained Luna Cycle. However, I've planned to rework this universe like I have my DMM universe. I won't alter this fic a great deal because I feel it has most of what I wanted in it. Just a few details or scenes need altering or updating and the other two prequels are getting a full revamp. There is a cute Christmas special for this universe and there will also be a Halloween special coming later this year.

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