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Fillydelphia private eye Looking Glass is hired by a beautiful new client to find her missing fiancé, Silver Coin. However, the simple missing pony case gets complicated quickly, and the hard-luck gumhoof soon finds himself embroiled in a plot that could have consequences for all of Equestria.
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Let's see. Good description, well-written, funny, and it's a genre I love. Take your like, follow, and fav. You've earned them.
584586 Hey, much appreciated!
AW SHIT SON.
An excellent and involved story very much a tribute to Marlowe, I personally liked the pulp detective style a lot and you really have recaptured it perfectly in this.
Definitely got to check this out, I love Detective stories and wanted to do a Pony one of my own.
Love the character name and sounds ace!
You're getting a lot of mileage out of the 'pencil in the mouth' gag, aren't you?
I couldn't resist the pull from the mention in the Blueblood stories. Fine story. Really deserves more likes and whatever.
Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh
This was amazing.
And the title suggests a series maybe?
945750
There is a sequel planned and partially outlined! However, I'm currently sidetracked by an ongoing series of stories about everyone's favorite inexplicable royal, Prince Blueblood. Once that's done, though, I do plan on getting started on "Looking Glass, P.I: Savage Nights." Griffons, changelings, gang wars, and more freakin' politics. Should be fun
Please make this a series! I loved this one and would love to see more! You are a very talented writer. I hope to see more from you!
I was taken in at the "Bellicose drunks" line. I can practically feel Marlowe in this. Definitely looking forward to reading this.
Hmm well Hot air is up to something. nobody's that helpful *suspicious face*
Looks good and Im looking forward to reading this. One thing I noticed; you said pony was xHands high. Was that intentional and referring to dragon hands? Or did you perhaps mean xHooves high?
1189787
That's... a tricky question. "Hands" don't really exist in Equestria, but, "hands" is also the unit of measurement for determining a horse's height. So let me just stroke my mustache and waggle my eyebrows mysteriously at you while I say something cryptic.
Ready?
Yes.
How is this still languishing at less than 400 views? This is criminal!
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Thank you for the story!
Pretty good style and well written.
I'm looking forward for the sequel :)
I would say this story really struck the noir mood, though I didn't read enough noir to be allowed to say such things.
Either way, from what I can tell, the mood was really enjoyable, the pacing felt right, and the editing was solid - although since I read the .txt file, I think I'm not too competent in this last regard. Since I'm not a noir or dark fan, I had my doubts (slight as they were), but fortunately you proved me wrong!
The only moment I would criticize is Nightingale sparing our hero's life. I mean, Looky already knew too much, and Nightingale could enact his plan herself, without his help. Or alternatively, if not she herself, one of her henchponies.
Also I would've kinda liked to see our protagonist ending up with his ex again, although I understand that noir is not a genre for knights in shining armor and happy endings. It still felt a little dissonant when he demanded for the safety of a mare he just met a few days ago, but not for her ex - but I guess he just couldn't forgive her. Kind of a shame.
What I didn't like, though, is the epilogue - I mean, obviously you wanted a sequel hook, but this letter felt rather out of genre. You could've just written an author's note or something, but the epologue made me feel that almost everything our hero accomplished (and consequently, the story itself) was sorta pointless. (Not to mention that the sequel never arrived.
Although I'd place my money on Nightingale being the changeling spy!)
I loved, however, the guns - horseshoes analogue. That bit was a nice touch!
Ahh, the old Guy Noir style. XD
Hot Air is not trustworthy, methinks.
Pony gives chance?
Pony gets jumped.
So bankers are evil... I have noticed a trend in your stories.
And I read the Prince series before this... :)
Good old-fashioned emoticons.
Wow, Crown was an IDIOT. Hadn't he ever read the Evil Overlord List?
947180 So its been a year
I hope I'm not sounding nitpicky, but four and a half hands is 18 inches. Even if you're measuring to the shoulder, a foot and a half tall hardly sounds like a 'large pony.'
Do you mean 'simple, hearty and cheap?'
Ouch.
Prepare for incoming tragic backstory.
Damnnnn
Wisely? So Looking Glass knows it could collapse at any second and leaves it there for his guests to sit in anyway? Is it a test or something, or does he just like to annoy his clients?
hands? Ponies have hands? Or did they adopt the minotaur measuring system? While a bit confounding, the real issue here is that it's inconsistent. In the following chapter, you call them "freet," and in chapter 15, it becomes legs.
disloyalty
1. feet
2. inconsistent, called them hands in chapter 1, legs in chapter 15
Had tread its surface, not have. The floors WERE chipped and cracked, so thousands of hooves tread its surface BEFORE that. Thus, you need past perfect tense, not present perfect.
was
simple
somepony.
garbage
You used -- before. You keep switching back and forth between -- and –. Consistency!
a yellow coat
renown
remove a
long, not song.
through, not though
as pleasant
I thought I
dragged, not drug
Forelegs, not arms. Change "from under my front leg" to "from under my shoulder" or "by my legpit" to avoid repetition.
find
Nightingale
highly paid.
GOLD COIN IS ALIVE?!?!?
eachother's
geniuses
inconsistent. Hands, feet, legs.
The spear is still impaling Jewel, who is still standing up. How can he lean on the spear?
Apparently, a mole in the F.C.P.D had lured Calla and Cammy into an ambush by Nightingale's colts.
F.C.P.D? You always called it F.P.D. before. Also, remember a . after D.