One day, Zeke Daniels, the only human in Equestria, asks Princess Celestia a simple question: why don't ponies have queens?
Special thanks to The Fan Without A Face and PoisonClaw for proofreading and editing!
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- Member Since 10th Oct, 2013
- offline last seen Yesterday
Flint-Lock
Convicted Bibliophile (Buy me a coffee, will 'ya? https://ko-fi.com/flint_lock)
Flint-Lock
Joined 10th Oct, 2013 ·
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This was surprisingly good. There are some errors with spelling, punctuation and missing quotes, but the story itself was very good. I think you're on to something. Keep at it!
Yes, yes! Ponies are helpless to the power of the tummy wubs!
My biggest problem with this story is that it's basically just explaining head canon with some halfhearted romance teasing thrown in. Also, their conversation didn't feel natural. It was pretty stilted. All in all, it could have been a lot worse, but it also could have been a lot better.
4/10
That is probably one of the better explanations to that question
Because in Equestria, we use princesses, not queens.
Go fish.
5841633
How nice. Good work~
Just me, but should it say...
"Have my subjects been treating you well?"
This was a very nice story! It explain one of the unexplained parts of Mlp fim
5841652
"By Law and Tradition" she said to me. "By the Concords we renounced our ancient kingdoms and their rule over us, by tradition the Three Queens of Old Home hold their titles for eternity, for the bravery shown against the Abomination"
Go Fish
5841680 Hope that aint in the story cause i haven't read it yet D:
5841692
Headcanon, and a story that while interesting I can't put pen to paper
5841702 man, horse words are hard!
5841705
Especially when you try not to make horse puns
5841729 I don't mean to sound 'whinny' but are we 'Cheeriously' about to go there? i.imgur.com/r0hl8Qx.png
asset-e.soup.io/asset/4284/4031_ed97_390.gif
I liked the idea but i cant say im with the whole pony x human. You gave a nice explanation of why things are the way they are but sorta diminished it with Zeke and Celestia's friendly nature to each other. I suppose it kept the story from being too serious. Anyway, good story.
10/10 it was okay- IGN
Nice. Good job and fav'd.
5841753 Oh no. It has begin! Run for your lives! The end is neigh!
5841857
Are you trying to tell me something?
Came here to find out why ponies have no queens, what i got was a cute ship.
and I ship it. I ship it like fed-ex
5842380
5843192
If you didn't like it you could have just said so.
5843197
this was a lot more fun.
Dawww! :3
Yeah, there were some errors (punctuation, mainly), but as many of our compatriots have said: the story is good =)
Cute but rather generic. Nothing about it exactly differentiates it from all the other stories with the general "human guy hangs out with the princesses" theme, so I can't really think of anything to mention as particularly good or bad about it.
In actuallity, they dont have queens because hasbro is milking lolis's fascination with princesses. In countries where this is less common, or not common at all, theyre called queens.
5844073
Actually it was because polling data of their target audience showed that kids associated the term queen with evil queen.
It's a decent bit of headdcanon, and an interesting, adn in character, idea...but it suffers from feeling like a digresstion to a 'real' plot. The focus is primiarly on Zeke/Celestia. It's not a BAD interaction, but it suffers from standard OC annoyance. (And, the explanation is...comparitivly simple.)
The headcanon seems to match normal-canon, and isn't offensive or out there. Not a bad story, but just decent.
I'd read more about Zeke in Equestria.
5844381
And old people. Walt Disney is still corrupting the world's youth, even from beyond the grave. Technicolor singing princesses will live forever.
You were, Zeke. You were.
I think Zeke just opened a hornet's nest.
5844555 *nods sagely* Well said. Well said, indeed.
5844537 More Zeke, please!
The D'aaws are many.
5844381
yeah, you go ahead and think that. just like equestria girls was made "because the fans made so many humanizations! its not for marketing we swear!"
It neeed a break in there.
Moar. END OF LINE
"But father, I AM A MAN!!!!!"
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/259/d/7/headcanon__accepted_by_texasuberalles-d6mjbqd.jpg
cdn.visualnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Thumbs-and-Ammo-15.jpg
I want more! I want abit of a back-story with this! and maybe some conflict with the princess worshipers, Pissed off and manipulative nobles trying to have their schemes, and him caught in the middle. This has so much potential to be more than a one shot!
You guys know that Prince/Princess doesn't solely mean son/daughter of the king right? You can be a ruler and be a prince/princess without there being a king/queen. There have been plenty of places on earth that had no king/queen and only a prince. The son/daughter definition isn't even the original one, it was originally just a generic term for ruler derived from the roman word princeps.
Interesting story though, I do agree I wouldn't mind some more of it.
5844912 In the end, does it matter WHY it was created? I think it's both. Yes, it was made for marketing, but they made it because they knew it would sell well BECAUSE they know the fandom loves this stuff so much. They appeal to their own monetary interests by accepting the fandom's interests.
Not much to say here, aside from the fact that just a few lines in you made me want to write a fanfiction with a pony and a human in an alternate universe discussing life, and that while it could be edited here and there it was a nice, fluffy read. And, being part fluffy pony, that is a great thing. Keep up the good work, as you earned yourself a like.
treating you
You've also forgotten to put a " at the end sometimes.
You should make more chapters! This is an awesome start.
5845695
Fixed. Thanks for pointing that out!
5845722
Eh, no biggie. Those kind of things just pop out to me. There has been times where there are so many mistakes I had to stop reading because I couldn't focus on the story.
Great story BTW. (Everyone wants to rub the Royal Belly.)
I'll pay you in virtual bling if you consider writing a sequel
This story was nice, and I actually kinda liked the innocent romance toward the end. I'm usually not into stories with OCs, but if you ever write a romance piece with these two characters, I would love to give it a look.
It was goofy and fun and that's fine. I would be one to know how well silly stories can do.