The Tale of the Fastest Flier
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo sat together around a roaring campfire. It was the weekend, and none of them had school the following day. Apple Bloom had a drawstring pouch dangling from around her neck, and Sweetie Belle wore saddlebags full of junk food. Scootaloo sat next to a squirming, hooded figure.
All three of them, while they liked to think that they were deep in the woods were nopony could ever find them, were in fact barely a quarter mile from Applejack's farm. The farm itself was not visible through the trees, but they could probably be heard if called. Scootaloo reached over to the potato sack that had been thrown over the hooded figures head, and yanked it off.
Coughing, the familiar filly glared at Apple Bloom. "What's the big idea, cuz? You itchin' fer a fight or somethin'?"
"You ain't part of the club yet, Babs," Apple Bloom said. "We gotta protect trade secrets."
Babs rolled her eyes. "Jeez. I come to visit for a couple weekends and you guys got me bein' hauled around the woods like a common creep. How the heck many clubs you guys got, anyway? Seems kinda desperate."
Scootaloo shrugged. "We got the Crusaders, we got this, the Rainbow Dash Club... Sweetie Belle tried to start a ponies in socks club but she kept distracting the colts at school and it got shut down real fast."
Apple Bloom coughed. "We gonna do this or sit around all night?"
Scootaloo nodded. "Just hang tight, Babs, stay quiet and watch how it's done. It's my turn tonight." She reached over for the drawstring bag that Apple Bloom wore around her neck, containing powder Zecora had given them.
"Is this gonna be another Rainbow Dash story again?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"No!" Scootaloo snapped. "...Yes," she admitted reluctantly, and drew powder from the bag. She threw a good amount of it into the fire, and the fire blazed a bright shade of green.
"Submitted for the approval of the Night Mare Society... I call this story... The Tale of the Fastest Flier."
---
Rainbow Dash stumbled out of bed early on Friday afternoon, which for her meant it was well past noon. She yawned and stretched, pumping her wings up and down several times. She didn't always sleep that late, but she was tired from a long previous day of being awesome. Friday was her day off, which meant she didn't have any clouds to corral or flight simulations to run.
"What to do, though? I have so many options..." Rainbow mused to herself. "It's been a while since I've pulled any pranks on Pinkie..." her eyes lit up. "I should totally replace all her frosting with colored Crisco!" She laughed. "Oh man, her face is gonna be priceless when she finds out."
Rainbow dipped out of her house and closed the door, darting down to ground level and landing with hardly any thought.
Folding her wings, Rainbow Dash began to walk down the street towards the Bakery in the distance. She had a sort of 'swag' to her walk, for lack of a more appropriate word, a cocky sort of sway with her head raised that looked as if she thought she was the greatest thing since peanut butter toast. Although, in defense, peanut butter toast was pretty great.
She headed down the main road, eyes flicking in both directions for anyone that might want an autograph or something, and then stopped. There was a dark store on the side of the road that she'd never seen before, filled with rusty looking trinkets that looked like they'd been pulled out of the garbage. More importantly, there was a painting of HER in the window, watercolors by the look of it, on sale for ten bits.
"Well, at least they have good taste," she muttered, and yanked open the door, setting off a bell overhead. She grinned, and entered.
"Yo?" She called.
No answer.
Rainbow Dash entered slowly, looking around. It looked like a cross between a magic shop, an apothecary, and a demonic nightmare. Vials of ingredients lined one shelf, brightly painted animal skulls along another. In between on the floor was everything from cabinets and dressers to dreamcatchers and strange, tribal clothing.
There still didn't appear to be anypony here. Grunting with boredom and slight discomfort, Rainbow turned to leave. She ran straight into a large zebra stallion, who's ears were filled with at least a dozen piercings.
"Where you going!?"
"Agh!" She staggered backwards.
The zebra grinned. "See anything you like?"
"...Not really," Rainbow admitted. "Nothing looks... you know, cool enough."
"Cool, huh?" he scratched his chin with a hoof. "I got something." He led her back to the counter, and she followed hesitantly. He reached under and pulled out a bright rock covered in vibrant, rainbow colors, that looked wildly out of place in this dark, musty store.
"Whoa! That's more like it! How much?"
"Fifty bits."
"What?! For that old thing?" Rainbow Dash looked shocked. "No way, dude."
"This old thing," the zebra said, "grants one wish to whoever owns it."
"No kidding?" Rainbow asked. "Tell you what, how about I give you an autographed picture of me for it? That's gotta be worth something."
"...No," the zebra said slowly. "Fifty bits."
"Alright, alright." Rainbow Dash sighed, and pulled a bulging pouch out of hammerspace. She always carried it with her, but it wasn't convenient to actually physically have it on her unless it was needed. "If this doesn't work, I'm coming after you, dude." Although this was Equestria, which had no shortage of weird things, and she trusted him.
The exchange was flawless. She handed over the money, he handed over the colored rock."
"Good doing business with you," he said with a sly grin. "Take it home, rub it, and make your wish. I guarantee you'll be satisfied."
Rainbow Dash left the creepy shop, and did exactly that. She took the rock back home, and rubbed it vigorously.
"I wish I was the fastest pegasus in Equestria!" She announced. She was already top of the line, but there were still some, like the Wonderbolts, who could outperform her if they really tried. And that just wouldn't do.
The rock burst into an array of light, the ropes of colors peeling off the rock like stickers. The bands of red and blue and yellow and green swirled around her with such ferocity that she had to close her eyes to keep from being blinded.
She must have passed out at some point, because when she opened her eyes again, she was laying on the floor. She had a headache, and the rock was lying in front of her. No longer colored, it was just a featureless gray stone. Kind of ugly, really. Rainbow Dash picked it up and hurled it out the window, not wanting anything more to do with the stupid thing.
The memory of her wish came back to her, and she snapped her eyes open. She bolted for the track where she practiced at, and began to make her rounds, wings flapping and eyes narrowed with concentration. She reached such an incredible speed that she could almost feel the Rainboom forming behind her, and slowed down at that point before she could break something.
Her eyes darted to the wingpower station, wanting to see how far she'd surpassed her usual record of 16.5.
"....17? 17?!" She shrieked. That was totally lame! She'd barely gotten any faster at all!
"Ugh, I'm gonna kill that zebra," she muttered, starting to march her way back down the main road to yell at him. But as she did, she noticed a curious thing. While the streets were busy as they usually were, everypony was staring at her.
Okay, well, that wasn't all that unusual, she was awesome and was used to attention like that, but in Ponyville? They all knew who she was, she didn't typically get that attention at home.
"Yeah?" She asked, turning her attention to a young couple who hadn't taken their eyes off her.
"Rainbow Dash?" the stallion asked hesitantly.
"Yeah?" She asked again, sounding slightly nervous this time.
"What did you..."
"What did I what? Spit it out."
She felt a sharp pain from behind her, and cried out. She spun around to find a small crowd had gathered, and was pulling at her wings.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back off!" She exclaimed.
"...You have wings," one of them said.
"Duh," Rainbow looked confused.
"You know wings are forbidden here. Flight is unnatural."
Okay, that was weird. She slowly glanced around, and noticed something unsettling. She saw a plentiful amount of earth ponies and unicorns, but not a single pegasus.
"Right..." Rainbow said slowly. "Guess I forgot," she lied. She backed away slowly, mind racing. Wait, Fluttershy! Fluttershy would get her out of this! She took to the sky, and heard a loud gasp of horror from the crowd as she lifted off the ground. She darted away from them and bolted straight for Fluttershy's cottage, where she landed and pounded on the door.
Fluttershy opened it, or at least, a pony who looked like Fluttershy. Her friend had no wings to speak of. None at all.
"Fluttershy! Your wings!" She exclaimed. "Where..."
The former pegasus gazed at Rainbow Dash with confusion. "My what?"
"You're a pegasus!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Fluttershy said. "You know wings are outlawed. Pegasi aren't allowed to-" she began, then seemed to notice Rainbow Dash for the first time.
"Where did you get those?" She asked, in the tone of a teacher who'd just confiscated a comic book during Chemistry.
"I've always had them! So have you!" Rainbow's voice was sounding panicky now.
"That's nonsense," Fluttershy said. "And I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you in. You know the rules. There hasn't been a pegasus in Equestria in two hundred years. Flight is unnatural."
Rainbow Dash gulped and moved backwards, only to back right into the crowd which had gathered behind her. The crowd snatched and tore at her wings and mane, trying to hold her down. and Rainbow Dash thrashed and squirmed free, shooting up into the air.
The earth ponies could not reach her now, but the unicorns were firing up their horns, trying to grab her with lassos of magic. Rainbow Dash bolted out of town, twirling and evading the magical snares, and slowly realized a horrible conclusion.
If she was the only pony she could fly... she was faster.
She was faster than all of them.
As the world's only pegasus was driven out of town, a small bell tinkled nearby as the door of a shop opened. A zebra stepped out, smirking softly to himself, and reached down to pick up the colored rainbow rock that had landed near the door. He brought it back inside, shut the door, and slowly twisted the sign in the window from OPEN to CLOSED.
---
"The end," Scootaloo finished, and the rest of the fillies stared at her from around the fire. The flames had died down to embers, and Babs was pale.
"That's really messed up," she said slowly.
"That's the point," Sweetie Belle said cheerfully. "If you become a full member, you can tell stories too. If you can scare us, you're in, but we all have to vote on it. If we don't think you're good enough, you hit the streets, kid."
"I am totally good enough! And don't call me kid, I'm older than you!"
"Well then, prove it," Apple Bloom said. "But there's no more time for tonight. Maybe we'll give you a shot sometime," she said, standing up. "For now, I declare this meeting of the Night Mare Society closed."
She dumped a bucket of water onto the dying fire, extinguishing the embers with a violent hiss and cloud of steam, plunging all of them into darkness.
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I haven't read this yet, but is it what I think it is?
An "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" crossover?
5841497 not so much a crossover as parody...
That was...interesting.
Honestly, the bit about Sweetie and the ponies with socks club was the best part of this chapter.
...still interested in seeing where this goes.
Why did I read this before bed?
Yes, she is very distracting.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/2/25/561287__safe_solo_vector_sweetie+belle_smile_cute_open+mouth_wallpaper_socks_underhoof.png
She does not mean call girl, does she?
Crisco: When generic vegetable shortening just will not do.
If that is true, why was there a wingpower station?
This is interesting, I would like to see more.
~KBO.
the CMC telling nightmare stories--only one image comes to mind for that, the first frame of this comic where Scoots is channeling her inner Courage-The-Cowardly-Dog
.
5842333 Uhhhhhhhhh... because.... reasons? >.<
lol I remember that picture. Seems those two couldn't take the imagery of Sweetie Belle in socks story well. "AHHHHH! She's too cute! Get'er outta my head! AAAHHHHHHH~!" as they bolted back to the safety of home as they tried wiping out that mental image.
Anyhow, this was pretty cute. Guessing Rainbow Dash flew herself into a whole new reality, or worst, that Zebra didn't mention the rock is a cursed item that made her the fastest, but ONLY, pegasus in Equestria. xD
Liking how well Babs fits in with the sort of bully character from the series. Nice parody. I say go with it. At least a couple more nights wouldn't hurt.
Que JonTron thread!
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/36700000/JonTron-image-jontron-36778399-638-360.gif
OMG LOL
Oh, I remember Are You Afraid of the Dark? You even included Mr. Sourdough or whatever his name was
5847329
5848132 I'm impressed and ashamed that everyone caught onto this reference so quickly lmao
I was about to say- are you afraid of the dark too.
Loved that show!- used to watch it all the time back when I was a kid.
Great story I enjoyed it.