• Published 20th May 2015
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Shifting Melodies - Thadius0



He's a unicorn accountant in service to a smuggling ring. She's a high-ranking Thestral in the Day Guard. Together, they fight crime. Too bad one of them's lying.

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Chapter 102 - Being bugged by batty problems

Ledger was sitting on the porch of their homestead. Cider was out tending to her berry crops and it was a pleasant summer day.

He was just glad spring was over. Seriously, fuck that season. Fuck it to Tartarus.

He still hadn’t worked out when Twilight constructed that kinky sex dungeon…

The peaceful silence was shattered when Ace and Amy had stopped by to see Midnight, and Ace wound up being thrown through a window, hitting the ground near Ledger.

“Ow…” he muttered into the dirt.

“Okay, that’s different,” he said. “What happened?”

“I believe the term is… your wife threw my husband out of a window,” Chrysalis replied as she walked out of the house to check on Ace. “She’s rather irritable today and Ace made a comment about her belly.”

“Does she need to be calmed down?” Ledger asked as he marked his place in his book.

“Amy’s working on that… you’re out of mangoes and ice-cream now by the way.” Chrysalis helped Ace up and sighed. “Where’s Sparkle? I thought she’d be here today?”

“She’s off on some magic lecture in Canterlot,” Cider said as she trotted up to them and raised an eyebrow at Ace. “Apparently she’s giving one about Cutie Marks…”

“I’d have offered to go with, but as a non-pony I’m sort of disqualified from talking about Marks,” Ledger said.

Chrysalis turned and looked at her own, a rather stunning pair of sparkling butterfly wings. “And yet I have one and know zip-all about them…” She turned and looked at Ledger. “So what’s this I hear about Sugar propositioning you and yours? Rather bold of her.”

“She seems to think that swapping Moondancer for me for a night is a good idea,” Ledger said as he returned to his book. “I’m not certain I’d be up for a deal like that.”

“Aww, is Ledger afraid of the big bad changeling?” Chrysalis teased. “But I can see her point, you’re the only other Noble in the city… hell, probably the only Silver one in all of Equestria.” The mare took a seat and stared up at the clouds. “And it's not like you're cheating on your wives, unless you intend to marry the nymph…”

“I really don’t,” Ledger said as he turned the page. “I don’t even want to screw her at all.”

“Well then don't,” Chrysalis replied. “Just say no, she'll back off.”

“But then I would have to deal with Midnight asking why she didn’t get to spend any time with Moondancer,” Ledger said. “And I can’t really say no to her.”

“Yes you can. You say no, it's as easy as that,” Chrysalis said sternly. “You think they're going to stop beings friends because they can't have sex? Not everything revolves around the bedsheets Ledger.”

“Have you met Midnight?” the drone asked.

“Yes, she threw Ace out of the window, it was pretty hilarious actually,” Chrysalis sighed and looked at the drone. “Have you even talked with her about this?”

“She’s talked with me about it,” Ledger said. “A few times. I haven’t said anything.”

“Then you're an idiot,” Chrysalis said. “And it sounds like you have no intention of taking my advice anyway. Despite the fact I'm in the same position as you.”

“Oh?” Ledger asked as he looked over at her.

“Don’t tell Sparkle, though her freakout would be epic,” Chrysalis smirked as she pictured the city burning. “But when we were in the Empire… Cadenza may have… given us an offer.”

“Oh wow,” Ledger said. “Yeah, that...would be reason for her to freak out alright.”

“Yes, and now you can see why my advice is valid,” Chrys said and brushed a lock of her mane from her eyes. “Could you imagine Shining’s face? I think he's already paranoid we did something, despite me telling him we didn't.”

“Yes, well, he did have a traumatic experience with changelings before,” Ledger pointed out. “It’s only natural that he be skittish around them now.”

“I think we're getting off topic,” the mare sighed. “Look Ledger. My point is. You don’t have to if you don't want to. Or will you be a good little drone and follow orders?”

“I don’t want to,” Ledger said. “But I don’t want Midnight to be unhappy either. Maybe I’ll let her try to convince me again, if she’ll let me talk about why I don’t want to go.”

“For the love of…” Chrysalis’s horn lit up as she lifted Ledger with her magic. “We’re going to talk with Midnight now, as I'm starting to get a little pissed off.”

“Have fun,” Cider and Scope waved after them.

“Wait, what?” Ledger asked, thoroughly confused. Chrysalis carried him upstairs and opened the door to Ledger’s bedroom. Midnight was sitting on the bed, balancing a bowl on her round belly as her irritation was sated for now.

Who knew a Pink would be a viable solution to a thestral’s volatile pregnancy hormones.

“Seriously, what?” Ledger asked. “I don’t understand.”

“Midnight!” Chrysalis barked as she threw Ledger onto the bed. “Your drone has something he'd like to say and you will fucking listen to him.” She put Amy on her back and walked out of the room.

“Oh...kay?” Midnight blinked and looked at Ledger. “What’s this all about?”

“Apparently she thinks I should express myself more,” the drone said with a shrug. “I don’t get it.” He took a deep breath before saying what he had to say. “Middy, I’m really uncomfortable with the idea of agreeing to Sugar’s proposition. It feels way too close to cheating for me to be comfortable with it.”

Midnight sat there as his words spilled out. Once he was done, she was silent for a moment. Then, she had her response.

“Okay.”

“...Wait, that’s it?” Ledger asked with a tilt of his head.

“Well, yeah,” Midnight said and slowly rolled over. “Look Ledger, I was confused when she asked. And I'm not going to ask you to do something you don't want to just so I could relive days past. What Moondancer and I had? It was something special. But what we have? It's just as special, if not more so. And I'm not going to put that at risk because I got greedy.” She closed her eyes and he could feel the regret roll off of her. “If anything, I should be apologising to you. It's a situation I shouldn't have put you in… I just hope you can forgive me…”

Then Ledger was kissing her, softly on the lips, before drawing back and smiling at her. “You silly bat,” he said gently. “I will always forgive you.”

“Heee~” she giggled and booped his nose with hers. She suddenly gasped and grinned widely.

“Is that a good thing or a bad one?” Ledger asked. She just continued to smile and she took his hoof and placed it against her belly. All was silent for a moment…

Then he felt something kick his hoof…

“Oh wow,” he whispered. “Hi there. I’m your daddy.” It kicked again as if responding as Midnight smiled.

“When I went to the doctors yesterday. I found out what gender it was,” she said.

“I’d rather not know,” the drone said. “I prefer to be surprised.”

“I think I might still be,” the bat giggled. “Sugar said that the foal is prone to spontaneous gender changes as their magic sets in.”

It gave another kick and Midnight winced. “Aaaand that was my bladder. Now I need to pee. Help me up?” Ledger offered her a hoof to pull her up with as he stood off to the side of the bed. She wiggled around and got up, before waddling over to the bathroom. It was pretty funny to watch.

“You don’t want to be laughing at me Ledger,” Midnight warned as she closed the bathroom door. “Revenge will be swift and embarrassing.”

“I would never,” Ledger said honestly. At least, not openly.

“Good, cause Silver-Mom told me about a certain practice, and a certain somebuggies first shedding…”

“I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about,” the drone said.

“I know what's in your closet~” she sang out.

“There is absolutely nothing in my closet,” the drone returned. And there wasn’t. He had hidden it somewhere completely different.

“Then I'll ask Joyful to find it~ You know she'll use her weird Pink Powers to do it too.”

“Find what?” a small voice chirped from Ledger’s back.

“Joyful,” Ledger sighed. “You know you’re not supposed to just leave home like that. Especially not alone.”

“M’not alone,” she replied. “Mommy was bringing Miss Daring back to Equestria, so me, Mommy and the brothers are visiting.”

The house shook with a distant explosion, followed by Cider yelling at someone.

“You brought. The trio. Here.”

“It was Big Sis Scopey’s idea,” Joy hummed as she braided Ledger’s mane.

“That does not make it a good one,” Ledger pointed out. Joy just shrugged as she finished and tied the braid with a pink ribbon.

“I dunno, Sis just said she wanted to try something…”

The portal to Twilight’s place opened and Rarity poked her head through, before three little fillies raced through. “Ah, wait you little… Oh, hello Ledger dear.”

“Was that…” Ledger asked as his voice failed him. He’d heard of those fillies before. Twilight had told stories about their legendary destructive prowess.

“Hmm, did Scope not tell you?” The unicorn stepped through the portal. “She agreed to foalsit for the evening...”

“Rarity, have I ever told you about my brothers?” Ledger said. “I have three younger brothers, and they all have a unique knack for destroying anything in any possible way. And right now, they’re making an unscheduled stop at this very farm.”

It didn’t take long for Rarity to put two and two together. Sure, those fillies had calmed down a little since getting their Cutie Marks… but even so…

“W-Well… best of luck Ledger love.” And with that, the unicorn bailed, leaping back through the portal.

“Big brother?” Joyful said in an eerily calm tone. “I can feel it…”

“Don’t you dare,” Ledger said. “I have enough problems as it is.”

“The end is coming Big Brother…” Joyful vibrated as something else exploded outside and the drone could hear six distinct voices.

“And if you do nothing, I can still stop it,” Ledger grumbled before sticking Joyful on his bed. “Stay. Put.”

“Haaaaai!” she cheered as Midnight re-emerged from the bathroom.

“Bleh, what’s all the noise? Oh! JoyJoy~”

“The parts for the end of all things have been brought together,” Ledger explained. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders and my brothers are in the same place at the same time. All of reality is doomed. Be right back.”

Midnight watched him leave as she sat on the bed and huggled Joyful. “I give him five minutes before he’s screaming for help,” the bat giggled.

“Bro’s pretty good at magic,” Joyful hummed. “Fifteen, tops.”

“You’re on,” the bat replied, bumping hooves with the filly.


Scope Lens was relaxing at a spa in the city, a black-feathered griffon rubbing her aching hooves. Pregnancy sucked.

“Mmm, thaaaaaat’s niiiice,” she purred. She cracked open one eye and looked at the catbird. “So… how are you and Steppy doing?”

“Still going steady,” the griffon replied. “I swear, that mare, she’s more insatiable than me. And every new story I tell her makes her wilder.”

“She’s half Violet, and from what it sounds, all the Lust and very little of the control,” the Blue nymph shifted around on the table and groaned. “Urgh! Being pregnant sucks. Why the fuck did I ever think this was a good idea…”

“Probably something along the lines of love or something sappy like that,” Jonathan replied. “I wouldn’t know, I’m not ready to be a dad myself.”

“No offense, but the mere thought of you and Two-Step breeding fills me with dread,” Scope said. “Ahh~ Mmmm, yeah, right there…”

“I’m gettin’ better at giving massages to changelings every day,” the griffon said with a chuckle. “Mostly due to my off-hours practice…”

“Aaaaand that was a mental image I did not need,” the nymph sighed. Her ear flicked… somepony was trying to open a link with her.

Ledger?

“What is it? I’m enjoying the skills of a handsome griffon right now.”

You have doomed us all, I hope you know,” Ledger replied. “Cider is calling for blood, and I am two seconds away from telling her that this was all your plan.

Huh?

Ohhh. Rarity actually came through on her end.

“Sorry… kssh… can’t...rrrk! Breakin—” She cut the connection and giggled.

“Somethin’ funny?” the griffon asked as he paused for a moment.

“I think I may have either solved a great problem, or brought destruction and ruin to us all,” the nymph giggled. “Now get back to those hooves, I still have fifteen minutes left~”

“If you say so,” Jonathan said. “Maybe we should offer just a hoofrub service for pregnant mares?”

“You would make soooo much money,” she purred as he rubbed her swollen hooves.


Three fillies stared at three colts. There was… something about them. Something… familiar.

Sweetie Belle was silent, too shy to say anything. Scootaloo didn’t really care so it was up to the little Apple to break the ice.

“Howdy!” she chirped and held out a hoof. “Mah name’s Applebloom, and these here are mah friends, Sweetie Belle an’ Scootaloo.”

“I’m Lightning-Wits,” the yellow pegasus colt said. “These are my half-brothers, Tank and Brute.” They shifted a little and nodded at being introduced.

“Well it’s nice ta meet y’all!” Applebloom smiled as she shook his hoof, the strong little filly nearly taking his leg off.

“Heckuva hoofshake,” the colt complimented her. “You must exercise every day.”

“Ah help out mah sis and brother on the farm, so ah reckon so,” she smiled.

“So who are you lot?” Scootaloo said as she stared at them. “Haven’t seen you before.”

“We’re all half-brothers,” Wits said.

“Different dads, same mom,” Brute expanded.

“We’re here visiting another brother of ours,” Tank finished it off.

“Brother…?” Sweetie tilted her head and put the puzzle together. “You’re Mr. Ledger’s brothers?”

The three pegasi simply nodded in unison to her statement.

“Dude, Ledger’s family is freakin’ huge,” Scootaloo commented and brushed her fringe aside. “He’s like the changeling version of Apples.”

“So ah have a big family,” Applebloom replied and waved at Cider. The mare had been watching the trio… it was a little weird.

“So… wanna do something?” Scoots said and shrugged. “Rarity got a sudden order, so we’re stuck here for the night.”

“We were gonna see if our sister’s obstacle course was still here,” Wits explained. “Our dads only were gonna let us stay if we got a little exercise in while we were here.”

Cider breathed a sigh of relief. It had taken her weeks to dismantle that deathtrap.

“I don’t see one…” Scootaloo said, peering out in the direction they were pointing.

“We could build one though…” Applebloom started.

“You’re changelings yeah?” Sweetie asked.

And just as Ledger emerged from the house… the dreaded words filled the air and shook the earth.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS OBSTACLE COURSE BUILDERS! YAY!!”

“Oh buck me to Tartarus,” Cider groaned.

“This is only going to end in tears,” Ledger agreed. “Quick, we have to try and separate them, contain the damage.” The two turned, only to see six dotted outlines in place of six insane youngsters…

“To the shed!” Ledger proclaimed. That was where all the tools were. If they could stop it there…

They raced to said shed, and all they saw was a swinging door and an empty space where the tools should be…

Oh sweet Celestia, even the magitech tools were gone.

“Maybe we should bring in Ace on this one,” the drone mused.

“Prolly,” Cider nodded. “Wait, where did those three get to anyhow?”

Chrysalis was dragging both Amy and Ace along in her magic as she headed for home.

“No way and no how am I sticking around if those little harbingers of destruction are there,” she muttered.

“Aww, but I kinda like it~” Amy pouted. “Just seeing what they’ll get up to…”

Chrysalis paused. She’d almost forgotten who Amy was. “Oh yes, foals are your thing, so you could diffuse the situation couldn’t you?”

“But that wouldn’t be fun!” the pink chirped.

“Why are they even here?” the Flutterpony moaned. “Don’t tell me Gossip is here too. I was having such a good day today and everything.”

“I dunno, but I kinda want to join them~” Amy said.

And like that, the Pink was gone as Chrysalis sighed and released Ace. “Well, shall we join them or find shelter?”

“I believe you have work soon,” the griffon nodded and looked at a clock in a nearby storefront.

“Urgh…” Chrysalis groaned. “Those little brats get ice-cream everywhere…”

Suddenly the Pink was back in her face and giving her a stern expression. “You remember our deal, Chryssy,” she said. “You have to prove you can stand foals before I’ll give you one.”

The mare was only a little startled by her sudden appearance. “Yes, I know,” she groaned. “Fine, I’ll only think about locking them in the freezer…”

“Better~” Amy chirped as she fell back in line. “I’m sure you’ll be a lot more friendly to foals once you’ve had your own. Though you could always just ask Acey to help you with that~”

“Mhmm, I’d be glad to help,” he purred and kissed his wife. “Now there’s a thought~ Let’s wait until you can shift again, and we’ll see who can get this one pregnant first~”

“Ooooh~” Amy giggled. “A game we’ll have all sorts of fun playing and have to wait at least nine months to figure out who won? Count me in~”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Chrysalis deadpanned.

“Stop asking silly questions, silly,” Amy said before beeping her nose. “You do get a say. You get to say how hard you want it~”

“I swear you’re a Violet in disguise,” the mare muttered. “I’m going to work… and maybe drown myself in the chocolate sauce.”

“They don’t stock nearly enough for that,” the pink said dismissively.

“They do now,” she replied. Chrysalis loved chocolate. Her last dessert she had, (which she didn’t tell Amy about) Was chocolate cake, topped with chocolate icing, filled with chocolate fudge, drizzled with chocolate sauce and sat on a bed of chocolate pudding.

“Darnit, now I wanna work again,” the pink pouted.

“I even got to make my own special flavor of ice-cream,” the mare taunted as she turned around. “One that will get discontinued when I stop working there~”

Ace sighed and picked Amy up before she tried to follow Chrysalis to work. “Alright, stop teasing Amethyst. You know she has to go easy on the sweets…”

“Whyyyyy did they do that to meeeeee~” the nymph moaned dramatically. “Sweets are practically my life-blood…”

“Because too much sweets is bad for the foal,” Ace said. “Everything in moderation.”

“Vanilla mint swirl with nuts and lime syrup,” Chrysalis continued as Ace rolled his eyes. “All inside a chocolate waffle cone~”

“Acey~” Amy asked sweetly. “If I give you the bits, would you go out and get us some new gear for tonight?”

“Such as?” the griffon replied. This was going to get ugly…

“Oh, you know,” Amy said. “Bindings, locks, gags, cuffs, magic inhibitors…”

“Amy, that stuff is expensive,” Ace sighed. “Chrysalis. Go to work already.”

“Yes love,” she giggled and gave them both a kiss on the cheek before teleporting off.

“I swear…” the griffon said as he put Amy on his back.

“Aww, and I just wanted to have a little fun with Chryssy~” Amy mock-whined.

“And yet, I somehow imagine that most of the work would fall to me,” he replied, poking her belly with a feather. “Come on. Let us see if we can prevent city-wide destruction at the hooves of foals.”

“Prevent?” Amy asked with a tilt of her head.

“Oh sweet Celestia,” Ace groaned as he headed back to the farm. This wasn’t going to end well…


They had done it.

Ledger wasn’t sure how…

But the Crusaders had somehow built a course more dangerous than the one Amy made…

And now his brothers were running it.

“Ah… ah have no words…” Cider sighed.

“I don’t know who’s crazier,” the drone admitted. “All I do know is they’re getting along like fish and water.”

“W-Well,” Cider replied with a thousand yard stare. “At least yer brothers have some pony friends?”

“They hardly needed more help in destroying things,” Ledger replied with a deadpan. “I don’t know how to stop this.”

“Ah… ah have no idea,” Cider replied.

And that was when disaster struck. The mountain of barrels that had been stacked for them to climb over collapsed. Several heavy barrels started to fall towards the triplets…

Cider ran forward, delivering a powerful kick that completely obliterated the falling barrels, reducing them to nothing but splinters before they could crush the bugs.

And yet, they kept going like nothing had happened. Nothing apparently phased them.

“Unbelievable…” Cider sighed as she sat down. Applebloom ran up to her, as did Scootaloo.

“That. Was. Awesome!!” the petite pegasus cheered.

“Was that one o’yer Shattered Boulder techniques?” Applebloom asked.

Cider blushed a little from the attention. “Eeyup.”

When the trio reached the end of the course…

A rather pregnant thestral was waiting there…

“RUN FOR IT!” they shouted in unison as they made to do exactly that. They hadn’t forgotten last time.

“MAGGOTS! FRONT AND CENTER!!” She yelled, her voice carrying quite far. Ingrained responses had them falling in and saluting to her before they even realized they were doing it.

“Disrespecting a Captain of the guard like that,” she said sternly. “I should string you up by your leg holes.”

“WHATEVER YOU SAY, MA’AM!” they responded.

Midnight snorted and paced up and down in front of them. She looked them over and clicked her tongue. “Have we been keeping up our training? Or have we been slacking off?”

“MA’AM, WE HAVE BEEN DILIGENT, MA’AM!” they responded as one. As long as she wasn’t shouting at them, they would keep doing this.

“Inside voice if you don't mind,” Midnight winced and rubbed her ear. “And you can give Cider some gratitude, seeing as how she saved you three from becoming roadkill.”

“Yes Ma’am!” they replied, a little softer but still all at once. Then the three of them turned to Cider and inhaled…

Cider blinked and braced herself.

“Thank you, Ma’am!” they practically shouted at her.

Cider adjusted her mane from the breeze that yell generated. She nodded and smiled. “Jus’ try and pay a lil’ more attention to yer surroundings okay? We don't need yer momma flyin’ off the handle cause y’all got hurt.”

The three fell into muttering agreement that no, nopony wanted that.

“Scary Gossip is scary,” Midnight agreed. She winced as she put a hoof to her tummy. “Parasite agrees with that assumption.”

“Are you still callin’ it that?” Cider deadpanned.

“Well until it stops using my body as a source of nourishment and growth, I'll keep doing so, yes.”

The three colts just kept silent, not wanting to draw any attention to themselves during this little argument…

Cider sighed and turned her attention to the three fillies trying to sneak away.

“An’ you three,” she said, causing them to flinch. “You an’ these colts are gonna clean this darned course up.”

“But-” Scootaloo started but a stern gaze from Cider cut her off.

“Yes Mrs. Cider,” they droned together. The mare turned to the three changelings and pointed. “Well, don't jus’ stand there, git helpin’.”

“Hup to it soldiers!!” Midnight ordered. “And if I hear one word of complaint, then you can do it without your magic.”

The three drones surprisingly didn’t grumble at all as they marched off to help the fillies. Midnight turned to Ledger and smiled.

“See, aren’t they just the sweetest?”

“I have no idea how you did that,” the drone said. “I’m just surprised the farm’s intact.”

Midnight just shrugged and started to head back towards the house. All that yelling made her tired…

“Don’t worry Levvy, I’m here to remedy that~” Amy giggled from his back.

“Amy,” Ledger sighed. “Please don’t. The farm couldn’t take it.”

“Couldn’t take what?” Joyful said, appearing on his head. Amy squeed and grabbed the pink, hugging her tightly. Cider decided that this was not a safe place to be and bolted for her greenhouse, yelling something about some sudden chores popping up.

“And now the world is triple-doomed,” Ledger deadpanned.

A new set of emotions spiked on his radar, that had just popped up out of nowhere and seemed to be coming from the house. Exhaustion, irritation… and depression?

“And now I have to tend to one of my wives,” Ledger sighed. “I will be right back. Don’t go anywhere.” He removed the Pinks from himself with magic and stepped inside, searching for the source of the negativity.

It was easy enough to find, as the alicorn princess lay on her back on the bed as Midnight pet her tail. The bat pony giving Ledger a glance when he walked in and motioned for him to not make much noise.

Ledger nodded and just sat near the door, waiting for this situation to unfold so he would know how best to approach it.

“Are you feeling better?” Midnight asked, kissing one of Twilight’s hindhooves.

“Buck. My. Life…” Twilight sighed and put a hoof over her eyes. “No, actually… Fuck my life. Fuck it to Tartarus and back.”

Ledger, wisely, stayed quiet. He didn’t know enough yet, and would only get in trouble if he tried to help before he did.

“So what happened?” Midnight asked, still stroking the mare’s tail. “Did the lecture go bad?”

“The lecture?” Twilight’s eye twitched. “Oh no, the lecture went great! Having to go back through time and watch Equestria get progressively worse and worse. Now that was fun!” Her tone had gone well beyond safe levels of snark. “Sombra, Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis… the end of the world. Totally. Fucking. Great!” Her horn gave off a few sparks.

“I’m not even going to pretend to understand how that’s possible,” Ledger said. “I can only assume alicorn magic shenanigans were involved.”

“No… just Starswirl’s magic. One unicorn that had way more potential than I ever imagined. Oh, and a vendetta against me. It’s fine, we’re friends now. I don’t blame her...much. I just… I need to vent a bit…”

“Hmm,” Ledger said. “I think the last time you vented was during that Tirek thing, and I’m pretty sure the landscape never was the same again.”

There was another explosion from outside and Twilight squealed in surprise and flinched.

“See what I give up stopping to console you?” Ledger said mock-dramatically. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders, my brothers, and my little sister and Amy are in the same place at the same time. I’m surprised the world hasn’t broken yet.”

Midnight let out a gasp and the tail she was petting vanished as Twilight teleported outside, right in front of the group that were about to start another round of demolition.

“Hiiiii guys~” she said with a waaaay too-wide smile and a slightly twitching right eye. “Watcha dooooin~?”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders took one look at that and bailed as fast as their hooves could carry them. The three drones in disguise had no idea what was going on, but decided to follow the fillies, even going so far as to fly after them and offer them a lift. An offer the fillies didn’t turn down, though Scootaloo looked a little annoyed.

“What’s happenin’?” Joyful asked Amy.

“Twilight?” Amy had to approach this carefully. “Now, it’s alright. Just calm down okay sweetie?”

“Calm? Oh. I’m perfectly calm.” She whirled and saw what was left of the course. “A little demolition huh? Lemme just help you with that!” She fired up her horn and aimed…

“Yipe!” Joyful cried as she turned away and covered her eyes.

Part of the track looped through one of Cider’s barns…

That barn and the surrounding area no longer existed…

“Uhoh,” Amy pointed out. “Cidey’s not gonna be happy you did that to her orchard, Twily…”

Twilight panted as said mare came running over to see what all the noise was about. When she saw the hole…

“Twahlight,” she said a little too calmly. “If y’all tell me the truth on whut jus’ happened here. Ah promise ah won’t make sure that Equestria goes back to havin’ jus’ three princesses…”

“C’mon Joyful,” Amy said before putting the filly on her back. “Let’s go before this turns ugly.”

“Where’re we gonna go?” the filly asked cutely.

“To somewhere that isn’t about to be an imminent regicide scene,” Amy said. “How about my shop? I’ll even get you some ice-cream.”

“Yay!” Joyful cheered as they left.

“I… ah... “ Twilight froze. She-she hadn’t meant to do that. Well, she did, but she didn’t mean to destroy…

And now the Princess of Friendship was crying.

Apple Cider sighed and sat next to her, rubbing her shoulder. “Hey now. S’alright. It was an old barn anyway. But honestly Twah! Ya can’t go around blowin’ up mah stuff. A good wife don’t do that.”

“I’m *hic* sorry,” Twilight sniffled. “It’s just… today was so… and I was… I’m sooooorryy…”

“It’s fine, the princesses extended the ‘Sparkle Fund’ to cover mah farm as well, so it’s alright.”

That got the alicorn to calm down a little as Ledger came out to see what in the hay all that noise was. “S-Sparkle Fund?”

“Anything in Ponyville destroyed by you an’ yer friends is covered by it,” Cider nodded. “‘Cept AJ’s barn… ah swear that thing gets destroyed on a monthly basis…”

“That explains so much,” the drone said.

“Oh bite me,” the alicorn sniffed. “I’m sorry though… I shouldn’t have lost control like that.”

Cider nodded and nibbled her neck, causing Twilight to giggle. “One, ah bite you whenever you want~ An’ two? No y’all shouldn’t have. It was irresponisble an’ ya really coulda hurt somepony… or worse.” Twilight shrank back. She was right. What if somepony had been in that barn?

“But!” Cider continued. “Ah also can’t imagine whut y’all go through, both as a princess and one of the ponies that keep the whole world safe. So iffn’ y’all need to vent sometime. Jus’ ask okay? Ah’ll go a round or two… or we could jus’ hit mah special reserve of cider stock~”

“I had been about to ask you if you wanted to go and get drunk to help you relieve the stress of today,” Ledger pointed out. “I’d gladly be your chaperone for the trip.”

“Now there’s an idea,” Cider nodded. “Ah’ll grab a few barrels. We’ll go back to yer shiny treehouse and get absolutely shattered. Jus’ the three of us.”

“Oh no,” Ledger said. “I need to stay sober to make sure that you both don’t do anything too embarrassing.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Cider shrugged. “Suit yerself. Y’all can take Princess Hotflanks here home. Ah’ll fetch those barrels.”

Princess Hotflanks?” Twilight hiked an eyebrow and giggled. “You sure you haven’t been hitting it already?”

“Naw, but ah got y’all to smile,” Cider giggled and booped her nose.

“And right now, that’s the important thing,” Ledger agreed. “Besides which, those flanks of yours are pretty hot.”

Twilight blushed and pushed him with a hoof. “Perverted changeling,” she giggled and spread her wings. “Race you back to the house?”

“Spare me, you know I’d lose,” Ledger said. “Though if you want to stick your flank in my face, by all means, do. I’ll be sure to appreciate the view~”

“Aww, don’t be like that~” Twilight smiled and half-lidded her gaze. “Winner gets to tell the loser what to do for a whole hour~”

“Well in that case,” Ledger said, before flashing into his Pegasus guise and spreading his newly-feathered wings. “You’re on.”

“I’ll give you a five second head start,” Twilight smirked. Sweet Celestia. The alicorn licked her lips and looked him over. His pegasus form was hot~

“You know,” Ledger said before his wings twitched. “If not for the fact that I needed my magic to do my job to any degree of proficiency, I would have arrived as a Pegasus.” And with that, he was off. He was going to enjoy this. He only hoped her friends hadn’t taught her too well in how to use those wings of hers.

Twilight mentally counted as she watched him fly. Five, four, three, two...one~ Her horn flashed and she teleported to the house just before he arrived.

“I win~” she smiled sweetly.

“I call a foul,” Ledger said. “The terms of your participation were hardly laid out beforehoof.”

“And whose fault is it for flying off before questioning it?” she asked.

“Whose fault is it for not clarifying it before saying what the prize would be?” Ledger countered. “I call this round null and move for a more proper, Pegasus race as a redo.”

“You’re just pouting because I won,” she smiled. “How about a compromise then? You take a form of my choosing… and I’ll wear whatever you like~”

“But you know I like you best in nothing at all,” Ledger countered. “That’s hardly fair to me.”

“Huh, that’s too bad,” Twilight said and turned around, flicking her tail. “And I just got this sexy librarian outfit to try out. Hmm, maybe Midnight would appreciate it more~”

“All right, fine, you little minx,” Ledger grumbled as he flashed back into his normal form. “You can have your bloody compromise. Though I still get the feeling that I’m being played and used.”

“Oh cheer up, I’ll buy you something pretty,” Twilight giggled as she trotted upstairs. The drone rolled his eyes before following after her. Tonight was going to be no end of torment, he was sure.


Chrysalis groaned and thunked her head on the table. It was a slow day and there had been this one filly that wouldn’t stop staring at her!

“Look kid, for the last time, I am not a butterfly,” Chrysalis said. “Seriously. Go home.”

“Pwetty fwuttapony,” the filly replied.

Chrysalis groaned and facehooved. At least she got that right. But she was still staring…

Then the door opened and Chrysalis could feel the chaos approach. She looked up to see her wife walk in, with a little pink filly on her back.

Okay, so either she gave birth and aged it up a few years or…

“No. No Pinks!” Chrysalis said. “My day is just fine!” Except for that filly and the fact she was staring into her freaking soul. Seriously, she looked like she’d reached some state of enlightenment.

“Silly filly!” Amy chirped. “I came here to get away from some chaos, not cause more!”

“So you say,” Chrysalis sighed. She looked at Joyful as her teal eyes narrowed. “So if you’re here, I’m guessing your mother is as well?”

“Yeah, but she’s not here,” Joyful said. “Said something about making sure miss Daring was safe. She really shouldn’t have left me and my brothers unsupervised.”

“No… no she should not,” Chrysalis replied, also noting that this was only mildly terrifying that the filly actually pointed that out. She was scarily smart for her age. “Alright, so what do you little envoys of chaos want?”

“I was thinking some ice-cream for the filly,” Amy said. “She nearly saw a very disturbing thing, so she’ll need something sweet to recover.”

“...” Chrysalis gave the mare a flat stare. “You’re drooling…”

“Whoops,” Amy said as she wiped her mouth. “Sorry. It’s just...I’m so...hungry…”

“I can’t tell if you want the ice-cream, or the one serving it,” Chrysalis sighed as she got out two cones. “Fine. Two Chryssy specials, just don’t tell Ace.”

“I won’t say a thing!” Amy promised.

Chrysalis lit up her horn as the ice-cream literally danced in the air. Amy was good at her job, hell, she was one of the best.

But there was something to be said for the artistic skills of a Green. Even as a Flutterpony now, she seemed to have retained some skills as the mint and vanilla combined like swirling water. Nuts fell across the top like snow as she drizzled the butterscotch sauce, and both mares properly ‘ooo’ed and ‘aaah’ed at the sight.

“Y’know, you work on your issues with foals, I might could get you a job here as my assistant,” Amy said.

“I don’t have an issue with foals,” Chrysalis said as she floated over the treats. “I am fully aware the little snot factories are what they are. Ours will be different. She or he will be a foal of the highest caliber.”

“So I’ll only be able to trust you back there once you have one, got it,” Amy said with a smirk.

“You’re impossible,” Chrysalis sighed. “Just eat your ice-cream already. I have to go and make sure that forgetful old bat got our next order right…”

“Aww, I’m sure she did,” Amy said. “And you should be a little nicer to her. She’s fun when you get to know her~”

“I’m perfectly nice. Except when some old crone I don’t even know tells me I have good child-bearing hips.”

“Miss Amy, where do foals come from?” Joyful asked.

“I’m not telling,” Amy said. “You should ask your mother when you’re older. Like, a lot older.”

“Arrgh! Everyling keeps telling me that!” Joyful pouted and folded her legs cutely.

“I’ll tell you,” Chrysalis smirked. The look on Gossip’s face would be so worth it.

“Oh no you don’t,” Amy warned her. “Otherwise I am picking up all sorts of gear to punish you tonight.”

“Oooh, I get to mess with Gossip and that? Must be my birthday~” the mare giggled.

“As in I’ll tie you up and leave you there,” Amy threatened.

“Still worth it~” Chrysalis sang.

“Tell meeeee~” Joyful Heart whined.

“And then hoof you over to her mother so she can deal with you once she asks why her daughter learned that,” Amy said. “Still feeling up to it?”

“Tch!” Chrysalis didn’t reply beyond that and turned to go to the factory.

“Awww,” Joyful pouted and nibbled her ice-cream. “I thought you were my friend Mrs. Amy…”

“Trust me dear, I am, and that’s not something you need to be learning now,” Amy replied as she started eating her own bowl. “Plus, your mom would kill us if you did learn it from anyone but her.”

“All she says is, ‘you’re too young and sweet to know that’,” Amy frowned and stared at her treat. “I’m sick of being ‘little’.”

“You’ll grow up soon enough,” Amy said. “I’m surprised your brothers aren’t tripping over themselves at the sight of three fillies just as destructive as they are.”

“Hmm, why would they be tripping over?” Joyful inquired. “They aren’t that clumsy.”

“You’ll find out, maybe,” Amy giggled.

Joyful just pouted more. It was adorable.


“Phew, that was a close one,” Sweetie Belle sighed. “Miss Twilight is scary when she gets like that.”

“Yup,” Applebloom and Scootaloo nodded. The earth pony turned to the three changelings. “Thanks for the lift fellas. Y’all aren’t bad… fer a bunch of icky colts.”

“Icky?” the three echoed.

“We’re hardly any more ‘icky’ than you fillies,” Brute pointed out.

“Psst,” Tank said. “They might be talkin’ about the fact that we’re changelings.”

“Nah, mom said they wouldn’t do that here,” Lightning said.

“Nu-uh!” Scootaloo said with a shake of her head. “Everypony knows boys have cooties!”

“Not something I’ve ever heard of,” Lightning said. “And mom made sure we were read up on most injuries and maladies.”

“Yeah, and our Orange Step-dad made sure we got them right,” Brute said.

“In short,” Tank said before sticking his tongue out and performing a raspberry.

The three fillies looked at each other and smirked.

“Well,” Applebloom started.

“Seems we’ve come to a disagreement,” Sweetie Belle said.

“So in short…” Scootaloo pulled on one of her eyes and poked out her tongue, making a ‘nyeehhh’ sound.

“Whatever,” the colts responded.

“Now that that purple alicorn went and dismantled the track, there’s nothin’ here to do,” Lightning sighed.

“Something to do huh…” Scootaloo tilted her head. “Well, is that changeling lady supposed to be foalsitting us?”

“Urgh, aren’t we too old to need a sitter?” Sweetie Belle complained. “I dunno, what else do you boys do aside from running around?”

“We’re training,” they said.

“Under our dad’s guidance,” Lightning said.

“To be the best,” Brute added.

“So that we’ll be able to get into the best squad in the Lands,” Tank finished.

“That’s it? Y’all jus’ train. Nothing else?” Applebloom asked.

“That’s weird,” Sweetie frowned.

“Don’t you guys just have… I dunno, fun?” Scoots concluded.

The three changelings in disguise looked at one another before shrugging in response to the question. “Not exactly a whole lot of time for that, with all our studies…” Lightning explained.

“Boooorrrrinngggg!” Scootaloo moaned. “Come on, don’t you play tag? Or pretend?”

“Our free time is usually filled with explosions,” Tank said.

“Completely accidental explosions,” Brute said. “It’s not like we’re trying to blow things up.”

“It just...happens,” Lightning finished.

“Yeah, we know how that is,” Sweetie Belle said and the three shuddered. “So. Much. Tree sap…”

“We should play something then,” Applebloom said. “Hmm, but what…?”

The colts shrugged, and Lightning spoke up. “You all should choose,” he said. “It’s not like we have too much experience with those sorts of things.”

The fillies giggled and then tapped the three on the chest. “Tag! Yer it!” Applebloom shouted and the three bolted for the orchard. With three flashes, the changelings reverted to their normal forms and began their usual aerial searching patterns for targets…

Then Tank got tagged by Scootaloo, as she giggled and raced off on a scooter. Applebloom was hiding in one of the trees and Sweetie was just sitting out in the open…

The three moved in to surround Sweetie, each one taking an angle and not letting her have any easy escape without having to deal with one or more of them.

“Tag me… if you think you can,” she hummed. The three drones slowly started to close in on her… Tank was first up, testing the waters as Sweetie giggled and danced around it. Literally. She rose up onto her hind hooves and danced her way around their attempted strikes. Brute was next, deciding to simply rush the filly and charged her head-on.

Sweetie leaned forward and placer her forehooves against his head, vaulting over him and landing behind him.

“Better luck next time~” she winked and blew them a kiss before running off. Lighting chased after her, his wings being put to good use as he darted after the filly, not willing to lose this game just yet.

He heard a buzzing sound as Scootaloo raced past on her scooter, picking up Sweetie Belle and laughing at the changeling before racing away. He shrugged before looking over to Applebloom and the tree she was stuck in, before he slowly drifted closer…

That was when it started raining apples as the filly shook the tree, leaping out and running off… although, she failed to notice Tank until the last second.

“Ah horseapples.”

The three ‘lings all dogpiled her to the best of their abilities, trying to tackle and finally ‘tag’ the filly.

“Argh!” the filly was buried under the ‘ling-pile.

“We win!” they all cheered.

“Gerrof!” Applebloom grunted and shrugged them off. “An’ not quite. It jus’ means yer it and we gotta tag you.”

“Ohhhhh,” they all said.

“Well...bye!” Lightning said before the three drones darted off in separate directions.

“Girls?” Applebloom smirked. “Git ‘em!”

Sweetie and Scootaloo giggled and chased after them. This was a blast!


Daring kicked her door open, coughing at the dust it kicked up. Well, it had been nearly seven months since she was here.

“*hack* Sorry bout the *kaff* mess…” She walked in as the three changelings followed her.

“I’ve seen worse,” the Madame said. “You should see my sons rooms sometime.” Meanwhile, her drones were just a little too...intimidated to say anything just now.

Apparently, the Madame sometimes had that effect on ‘lings.

“I did remember,” Daring giggled as she removed the sheets from her furniture. “And I miss Critical’s room. It was a great place to think.” She walked into the kitchen, but all she had was some water and preservatives like jam and whatnot.

“Aw man, I can’t even offer you guys anything to eat or drink…”

“It’s fine, I wasn’t planning on staying long,” the Madame said. “I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. After all, you are the first to visit and return from the Lands.”

“True,” Daring nodded. “That’s going to be an experience I’ll never forget.” She smiled at Devoted and Lucky. “Not when I have two constant reminders.”

The two drones blushed under the praise as the Madame smiled.

” “Yes, and I hope you do take good care of them,” she said. “You are, perhaps, our best chance at good press in this day and age. And that’s something we could always use more of.”

“I’ll be sure to send you the first copy of the book once it’s published,” Daring smiled. She turned to her two drones and nodded. “Well, this is it,” she said. “Last chance to change your minds. You might not see the Hives for a while if you stick with me.”

“We’re yours,” Devoted said.

“And we wouldn’t have it any other way,” Lucky added.

“Too bad, you seem to have imprinted on them,” the Madame said with a vicious smile. “Remember to walk them and feed them, dear.”

“Hmm, they might look quite fetching in matching collars,” Daring mused. She was only half-joking…

“As long as you take care of them, then I don’t care what you do in the bedroom,” the Madame said with a wink. “Now that you’re safe, I’ll be heading off to collect my sons and my daughter.”

That was when something flashed right in front of her and the wispy energy materialised into a scroll before falling to the floor.

“Huh, don’t see that too often,” Daring noted.

“Interesting,” the mare mused before picking it up in her magic and unrolling it.

Dear mother.

Just an FYI. The trio have basically met pony filly versions of themselves.

They are now friends.

Hopefully the city will still be there when you get back.

Also, I will be in Ponyville watching Cider and Twilight get amazingly drunk. Feel free to use the bedroom portal.

With love.

Secret-Hoarder.

P.S. Twilight wishes to tell you this message was sent via dragon fire in case you were wondering. Yes Twilight, I told her. Of course love, I'm sure she'd be most curious…

What do you mean my diction spell is still going…

Oh Hives, Wait. Spike. Don’t send--’

“Well there’s something I sorely missed,” the mare chuckled. “Seeing my son forget one little variable and panicking about it. Ah, memories…”

“Sounds like fun,” Daring smiled as she tossed her bags into a corner. “Will you be alright heading back by yourself?”

“I rather think I should be heading back soon,” the mare said. “Otherwise I fear there may not be a city to save.”

Daring nodded and gave the mare a hug. “Thank’s for everything Maddy.”

“That’s a new one,” the mare chuckled as she returned the hug. “Take care, miss Yearling. And do let me know when the wedding is, hmm? I wouldn’t mind attending another~”

“W-Wedding!?” Daring spluttered and coughed. “A little soon for thinking about that isn't it?”

“I can wait,” the Madame hummed. “Besides which, your situation is unique and worth noticing~ I very much would love to hear about things as they progress~”

“I'll write you letters,” Daring promised. “Now go on, before you give them ideas.”

“But I would love to hear about new hybrids,” the mare pouted. “And how will they ever get any ideas if I don’t give them any?”

Daring turned to her drones. “You two are not allowed to converse with this mare. She says silly things.”

“But she’s saying interesting things,” Devoted countered.

Very interesting things,” Lucky purred.

“Celestia preserve me,” Daring groaned. “See what you've done now. Now they're plotting.”

“My own drones plot as well,” the Madame grinned. “I thought it was only fair to share the favor~ Oh, and by the way boys? Try preening her. I promise you, it’ll work wonders.”

“Ack!” Daring stuffed a hoof in her mouth. “No. Bad nymph. You do not tell them that!”

Really?” Lucky asked.

“I know what I want to try~” Devoted purred. Daring sighed and removed her hoof.

“Urgh, fine. But don't think you're going to do that until you learn how. I like to fly you know.”

“I’m sure you’ll teach them well~” The Madame said before she lit up her horn and vanished in a flash of silver, leaving Yearling alone with two drones that were now looking at her with half-lidded gazes.

Daring sighed and pointed at her home. “First I'm going to clean, then we're going into the village to get some food.”

“I can clean,” Lucky offered.

“I can go with you to get food,” Devoted agreed.

“A division of labor so that nobody is left out,” Lucky concluded.

“Well what am I supposed to do?” Daring mused as she gave Devoted a saddlebag and a pouch of bits.

“You could come with me,” Devoted offered. “I don’t know the town as well just yet.”

“Oh right,” Daring rubbed her ears and shook her head. “Sorry. Little tired today. Okay, let’s get going.”

Lucky smiled and waved goodbye at them as they left before turning back to the house at large. His task was to clean it, and he knew where he was gonna start.

The bedroom~


“So uh…” Applebloom stared at the fire that raged through an empty field. “Anypony know how this happened jus’ from playing tag?”

“Nope,” Brute said.

“Nu-uh,” Tank agreed.

“Not a clue,” Lighting finished it with.

“I wonder if I can lock up foals?” Narrow mused as the fire squad dealt with the blaze.

“We’re sorry,” the fillies all said together.

“You're just lucky that Princess Twilight vouched for you,” the guardsmare said. ‘And she was really flirty for some reason.’ She turned to the colts and sighed. “But you three on the other hoof. Where are your parents or guardians?”

“Mom went off to escort a mare home,” Lightning said.

“So Miss Scope said she’d look after us,” Tank added.

“And then we met these three while we were visiting,” Brute finished.

Escort a mare?” Narrow sighed. So she was one of those mares huh? She should have a talk with Sugar, see if this mother was one of her girls. “Well, where’s Scope then?”

“She took off,” Lightning said. “Didn’t say where she was going.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Narrow groaned. “I'm going to skin her alive, pregnant or not!”

“S’alright Cap, I'm here,” Midnight said, walking over. “Girls, what the heck happened here?”

“Ah dunno,” Applebloom said. “Ah was expecting tree sap, not fire.”

“With Ledger’s brothers, I'm surprised that fire was all we got.”

“I’m surprised there isn’t more,” Lightning admitted.

“I don’t freaking believe this,” Narrow groaned. “Fine. I'm going to Sugar’s place. See if I can't find their mother…”

“Why would Sugar know…” Midnight started to say.

There was a pop and a flash, before a silver unicorn mare appeared nearby. “Ah, and I see their curse follows them even here,” she said before walking over. “What’s the damages?”

“And who the hell are you?” Narrow turned to face the new pony.

“I’m the one that made the apparently foolish decision to take my sons on a little trip to Equestria,” she said. “I wasn’t expecting this so quickly, though…”

Narrow groaned. “Look, I know that a lifestyle like yours must be difficult at times. But don't you think your foals should be properly looked after before you take a mare home?”

Midnight paused. Where did Narrow get that assumption from!? “Uh Cap? There something you should-”

“No no, she has a point,” the Madame said. “I should have known better than to assume miss Scope had anything but mischief in mind. Why else would she say that she’d give my sons a good time?”

“She WHAT!?” Narrow screeched before Midnight jumped inbetween them. And there was a lot of batpony to do so.

“Okay, there has been a lot of misunderstandings here,” the thestral said. “Captain? This is Gossip, Ledger’s mother and definitely not a mare of that particular profession. And Mom? I think Scope is in enough trouble as is.”

Narrow blinked and actually blushed from embarrassment. “I am so sorry,” she apologised. “I got the wrong impression from your boys and given the city I live in…”

“I see,” the mare mused. “Well, I suppose I can forgive you...if you promise that all the blame from this will fall on Miss Scope’s head for orchestrating this event in the first place.

“Oh trust me, I am going to do the most unimaginable thing to her,” Narrow grinned evilly. “I'm going to tell Leder and let him invent a punishment.”

“That sounds delectable,” the Madame said with a smile that was far too pointy. “But if there’s no objections to me gathering up my children and going…”

“Aww. But we only just started playing,” Applebloom pouted, with Sweetie and Scootaloo matching it.

“Hmm,” the Madame said. “You got my sons to loosen up and have fun?”

“We played tag, it led to fire,” Scootaloo said proudly. “I wanna see what happens when he teach them how to play house.”

“How about this?” the Madame said. “If you all look into house prices in your hometown, then perhaps I’ll purchase a home there and see about getting the pair of them linked together like my son has. Then you can play with them all the time.”

“Ya mean like that in we came through to get here?” Bloom asked.

“We could put one in the clubhouse,” Sweetie suggested.

“That could work, but I’ve always wanted a nice home in Equestria,” the silver unicorn said. “Find one for me, and you can see them again.”

The trio looked at one another and grinned before inhaling. Midnight put her hooves to her ears.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HOUSE HUNTERS! YAY!!”

“My, they’re enthusiastic,” the Madame said as she rubbed her ears.

“You have no idea,” Midnight groaned as the fire was instantly suppressed. With a flash of light, Discord appeared wearing a firepony’s coat and carrying the Madame bridal style.

“Fear not citizens, your savior has arrived!”

“It was that bad?” the silver mare asked aloud.

“Hush now, you're ruining my entrance,” Discord said, petting her like a cat… because he'd turned her into one… “I sensed the makings of unparalleled chaos. I just knew those delightful fillies were involved.”

“Discord,” the cat said tersely.

“What? You’re such a cute widdle kitty~” he cooed. “You’re much less scary now. I'm doing you a favour.” He snapped his fingers and summoned Joyful and Amy, before handing the cat to Joy. “Here my little apprentice. Hold your mother for a bit, she’s cranky.”

The little Pink held the cat at hoof’s length for a moment, wondering if Discord could possibly be telling the truth, before the cat spoke to her. “Joyful, please don’t get any ideas.”

“Momma?” Joyful asked.

“Yes indeed,” the Madame replied. Joyful, for one brief moment, looked at Discord with something other than her usual happy expression.

And it was not pretty. Mainly because she was furious with the chaos spirit for doing that to her mother.

Discord rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, returning the changeling to normal. “You know, for shapeshifters, you get awfully cranky when I change your shape.”

“It wouldn’t be so bad,” the Madame said as she stretched her limbs out. “If you left us the option to choose if we wanted to change. Or even asked. I swear, sometimes I feel like your manners are as just as old as you are.”

“Bah, manners,” Discord gagged. “They're almost as bad as-” he shuddered. “-rules…”

“It's alright Dissy, no harm done.” Midnight said and pet his arm. She still owed him for saving her life a while back. “So what brings you here?”

“Well, aside from the chaos and messing with one of my favourite changelings…” He smiled at the Madame. “Don’t lie, you love me.”

“Like dragons love scale-rot,” she deadpanned.

“Ahh, I'm really feeling it,” Discord sighed happily. “Oh, that reminds me, I have a little gift~” He held out his lion paw to Joyful, a small glowing gem present. “For you to use when you like. It will temporarily grant you chaos magic.”

Joyful’s expression did a complete 180, from distrusting the spirit to being happy with him as she quickly snatched it up. “Thanks, Mister Discord!” she chirped.

“Is… is that safe?” Midnight said warily.

“Of course it's safe,” Discord scoffed. “What’s wrong with giving a small child the power of a god for one day?” He paused and looked at Joyful. “How old are you again?”

“Thirteen!” the filly chirped.

“See, plenty old enough,” Discord nodded.

“You're that old?” Midnight blinked when she realised that she’d never known Joy’s age. “Huh, how about that. Makes me wonder how old the trio is now.”

“Sixteen, fifteen, fourteen,” Joyful said.

“And they were playing tag with twelve year olds?” Midnight giggled at how cute that was.

“Huh, even I didn't see that coming,” Discord replied.

“If you got a mare, you could see it coming a lot more,” Midnight giggled, then gasped and stuffed a hoof in her mouth to stop herself.

“Momma?” Joyful asked.

“No dear, I am afraid it’s not quite time to explain it to you,” the Madame said. “Trust me, I’ll know when it is.”

The pink nymph pouted. “Never gonna know…”

“Ah, always a delight to see some hoof-in-mouth moments,” Discord chuckled. “Well, I should go before I overstay my welcome. Maybe I should go and bug Twilight?” He snapped his fingers and vanished.

“I'm so done,” Narrow sighed. “You know what. Tonight didn't happen. I'm going home and going to bed. Goodnight.” And with that, the mare trotted off.

“Aww, poor Captain Narrow,” Midnight said.

“I can hardly blame her,” the Madame said as she took back Joyful, who was still clutching her jewel. “I can already tell my life is about to get a lot more interesting.”

“Yeah… good luck with that,” Midnight nodded. “So, will you be heading off tonight? Or did you wanna stay over?”

“I highly doubt the city would survive much longer if my most chaotic and destructive offspring remained here for very long,” the Madame chuckled. “Besides which, the Trio still have studying to do...but perhaps if three fillies are very diligent in finding me a house to buy, they’ll meet up again one day.”

“I see,” Midnight nodded. She'd told those fillies to head home, using the portal in the house. Scope was still AWOL, so the bat had the house to herself tonight. “Well, I hope you have a safe trip home. Say hi to the dads for me?”

“Of course, dear,” the silver ‘ling said before drawing close and giving her a hug. “You take care as well.”

“Don’t I always?” she giggled and waved as the changeling teleported off with her children, leaving the thestral alone with Amy in the empty field.

She sighed and turned towards the darkened house. “You should head off too Amy. Unless you trust Ace and Chryssy by themselves.”

“Eh, I kinda do,” Amy replied, before giving Midnight a hug. “You, on the other hoof, look like you need a friend. I’ll stick around until Scopey comes back.”

“Thanks…” Midnight said quietly. “It’s just… I hate being alone…”

“Something I know all too well,” the Pink replied sagely as she followed after the batpony. “Plus I think Chryssy and Acey could do with some quality time together.”

“Heh, I can only imagine what those two will get up to,” Midnight giggled. “Now let's go. I know where Ledger hides all the sweets~”

“Sold to the batpony with exquisite taste,” Amy proclaimed as she followed her friend back to the farmhouse.


“And… and then she says, ‘what's so special about your friends?’” Twilight mocked as she knocked back another cider. “W-Well, Starry Shine… or, whatever. We're the Elements of...of…” She tilted her head. “Bucking rainbow ponies! That's what!!”

“Oh dear,” Ledger said as he watched his wife descend further into drunkenness. “And then what?”

“And then…” she leaned across the table. “LASERS! Lasers everywhere!!”

“Everywhere?” the drone asked.

“Mhmm,” Twilight giggled as she waved her hooves. “We were shooting laserasers, and blowin’ up clouds, and then I froze the bitch in crystal, cause I can do that now. Oh, but we're besties now and her story was so saaaad…”

Aaaaand now she was crying. Ledger automatically assumed the role of comforter and hugged her, running one hoof down her back.

“Mmm, you’re soooo nice to me,” she cooed and planted a drunken kiss on his cheek. “I wuv you snugglebuggle~”

“And I love you too, my lavender princess,” Ledger said as he kissed her back.

Cider rolled her eyes as she downed her drink. “Ah miss having Middy as a drinkin’ buddy. Y’all are lightweights,” the mare chuckled. “And ah hope Middy’s alright. Ah saw those fillies come back, so ah hope she isn't by herself.”

“Hopefully Scope will return soon,” Ledger said. “Then she won’t be alone anymore.”

Cider trotted upstairs, before returning a few minutes later. “She’s fine. Her an’ Amy are face-deep in yer candy stash.”

“Great,” the drone rolled his eyes. “Just what we needed. Two hyper troublemakers running amok in Las Pegasus.”

“Well, good thing we're here then,” Cider chuckled as she sat down.

“Hey, hey guys!” Twilight shouted. “You know what? I bet… I bet I could fly!”

“Not inside,” Ledger said before kissing her. “We don’t need you getting your castle all messy.”

“S’my castle. I'll mess it if I wanna!!” Twilight shouted. “Poopy party pooper.”

“I just don’t want you hurting yourself, dear,” the drone said before kissing her again.

“Seems she turns into a foal when really drunk,” Cider giggled before a new mare walked into the room. A purple unicorn with a striped mane and tail.

“Um, I heard shouting,” she asked. “Is everything alright?”

“Just fine,” Ledger said. “Twilight’s just a little drunk right now.”

“Twilight’s… drunk?” the mare looked at the alicorn.

“Glimmy!!” Twilight beamed and pounced on her, nuzzling her. “I was jus’ tellin’ Ledgie-Wedgie aaaaalllll about you.”

“Ledgie-Wedgie?” Starlight Glimmer repeated with a raised eyebrow.

“Hello, I’m Level Ledger,” the drone said. “You must be the mare that caused my wife so much trouble.”

“Wife!?” Star backed up a little, which was hard with Twilight hugging her. “I...um… you’re a changeling…”

“Oh, I can be a pony too, if you’d like,” Ledger said, before briefly taking the form of Prince Celestia, staring angrily at the mare.

“Yeek!” Star backed up more now, Twilight still clinging to her.

“Ledger, stop scarin’ the mare,” Cider said calmly.

“But Cidey~” Ledger whined.

“But nuthin’ Ledger. Y’all are never gonna make friends by intimidatin’ everypony you meet. And Twilight herself said this mare was her friend now. If she had hurt her, ah’d put ‘er through a wall, myself. Now. Apologise.”

The drone sighed before resuming his normal form and sulking a little. “I never get to do the ‘big scary ‘ling’ routine anymore.”

“Because ‘lings aren't supposed to be scary no more,” Cider giggled as Twilight pushed Glimmer over to him.

“Now…” the alicorn smirked. “Say sorry Glimmy.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “Sorry I tried to rewrite history.”

Ledger looked as though he wanted to say something about that before he just said, “Sorry I tried to scare you.”

“You didn’t… much,” Starlight admitted.

“Gooooood~” Twilight smiled and rubbed her hooves together. “Now… touch hooves…”

The drone raised an eyebrow before raising a hoof towards the unicorn mare. Starlight mimicked his expression and raised her own hoof, touching Ledger’s as Twilight giggled and clapped her hooves.

“Mmm, that’s the stuff,” she smiled. “Now… kiss.”

At that, Ledger actually jolted back before giving Twilight an incredulous expression. “You have got to be joking,” he said.

“Aww, but I'm shipping this so hard,” she whined.

A country away, a Princess of Love felt very proud for some reason.

“Just… no,” Starlight deadpanned. “No offense, but I am not kissing a bug.”

“We’re more ponylike than you might think,” Ledger replied. “And if my appearance offends you, I can always change it, as I’ve already demonstrated.”

“...Why are you taking this seriously?” Starlight sighed.

“Aw Glimmy, friendship has a lot of different meanings,” Twilight cooed. “And can come with lots of… benefits~”

“Is-Is she hitting on me?” Starlight asked in a concerned tone.

“She might be,” Ledger said. “In which case I would remind her that she’s already married and two of her spouses are sitting right here.”

“But Glimmy’s really cute,” Twilight pouted. “And as the Princess of Friendship with Benefits. This is a wrong I must right!”

“Ah knew this would come back to bite ya in the flank,” Cider laughed.

“Never mind that it was Midnight who came up with it originally,” the drone pointed out. “Twilight, no. I’m not doing anything against her will. I’m not sure I would do it even if I had her permission either.”

“No, no you do not,” Glimmer deadpanned.

“Aww, my ship sunk,” Twilight sighed and ambled towards the table and the cider bottle that sat upon it. Ledger merely wondered what she’d get up to next once she’d drunk even more.

“Should she be drinking still?” Glimmer asked. “I mean, how many more until she doesn’t take no for an answer?” She knew what the mare was capable of, because she could do a lot of the same.

“Do you want to try and stop her?” the drone pointed out.

Starlight laughed and shook her head. “Nope, you’re all on your own for that one.” And with those parting words, the unicorn teleported away. Ledger just shook his head and resigned himself to his fate of being the alicorn’s teddy-bear. Or whatever she wanted him to be. He turned around to see Twilight slumped over the table, flank in the air as she snored peacefully...

“Well, I’m gonna get her to bed,” Ledger said as he used his magic to gently lift and place Twilight on his back. “You good here?” he asked of Cider.

“Ah’ll clean up and follow you soon,” Cider nodded.

Ledger nodded and weaved his way through the halls in search of Twilight’s room. He hoped he was remembering the route right. He found it after a few minutes, and the alicorn was stirring as he opened the door.

“Hmm, wazzat?” she mumbled.

“Bedtime for drunken alicorns,” the drone said as he closed in on the bed.

“M’not drunk...just ine...ineb… tipsy~”

“You tried to get Starlight and me to kiss,” Ledger said. “I’d say you’re plenty drunk, Twilight.”

“I blame Midnight,” she replied as her horn flickered. “Mmmmmagic tiem~”

“You probably shouldn’t be doing that,” the drone said as he finally drew level with the bed.

“Aww…” Twilight was rolled off of his back and onto the bed. She lay there for a moment before speaking again.

“Am I a terrible pony?”

“Why do you ask?” Ledger questioned her, wanting to strike at the core of the issue before replying.

She lay there silent for a moment, but Ledger could tell she was thinking. Even drunk her mind was a marvel to behold. “Starry… did what she did. Because… I took away her happiness. Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra... “ She sniffed and closed her eyes. “Tirek nearly killed my friends… my family, just to get my magic… I bring nothing but pain…”

Ledger got up on the bed and cuddled her for a little bit before replying. “You seem to be forgetting all the good you’ve done,” he told her. “I’m fairly certain that without you, Equestria would be a much darker place indeed. I looked up to you. Still do. You’re living proof that if a pony tries hard enough, anything is possible. You’re not a curse. You’ve been nothing but a joy to be around.”

“I saw that,” Twilight said. “What would happen if I didn’t…”

“Things might be a little worse than they could be,” Ledger replied. “But they’re certainly a lot better than if you hadn’t done anything at all.”

Twilight rolled over, facing away from him. But he could tell by her body shaking that she was crying. “It's hard,” she sobbed. “It's so hard… and-and I-”

“That’s why we’re here for you,” Ledger said as he hugged her. “Us and all your friends. So you can let loose and not feel terrible about it. Because that’s what friends do. They listen to one another when they have a problem.”

“I don’t-I don't even know… where to start,” Twilight sniffed. The door opened slightly as Spike and Cider poked their heads in. Ledger waved his free hoof over at them, motioning for them to come join in on this hugging of Twilight. Mostly because he felt she honestly needed it.

As they did, Spike sighed softly. “She was like this on our first night. After the whole Nightmare Moon thing y’know.”

“It must be so hard, having to bear all of this,” Cider said as she stroked Twilight’s mane. “But Ledger’s right. Ya got all of us now. And you've always had Spike here, an’ all yer Ponyville friends.”

“M’hopeless,” Twilight sniffed. “And now I'm making you all worry…”

“That’s what friends do about each other,” the drone said. “They worry and help when one of their friends is having problems. We’re here for you Twilight. We always will be.”

“Yeah…” the alicorn sniffed again and was soon sleeping.

“Aaand now I'm stuck,” Spike chuckled, as he was pinned under the mare. “Poor Twi. I had no idea she was bottling all of this up.”

“Here, let me just…” Ledger lifted Twilight slightly with his magic so Spike could squirm free.

“Thanks,” Spike nodded and moved to the side. “I have to wonder who's the older of the two of us sometimes.”

“Age and wisdom don’t necessarily relate,” the drone said sagely. “You can grow old while being the biggest fool, or grow wise young from reading philosophy every day from when you first start reading. It’s experience that really makes the difference.”

“Yeah well, I think I've got the reading thing down pat,” Spike snorted with amusement. “Living with the Book Princess saw to that.” He looked over to Ledger and Cider and smiled. “Thanks for looking after Twilight. It means a lot to me.”

“We try,” Ledger said as he put Twilight back down on the bed and snuggled up next to her. “She’s a challenge, but a fun one.”

“If you say so,” Spike smiled. “Just mention the word ‘tardy’ and-”

“I'M LATE!!” Twilight yelled, sitting up right before falling back and snoring.

“Yeesh, she’s worse than I used to be,” Ledger said. “Oh well. We’ll get her calmed down eventually, Spike. Or we’ll exhaust ourselves trying.”

“She’s already doing better,” Spike nodded. “Well… I guess I'd better leave you guys be for tonight.”

“If you want to,” Ledger said with a nod. “Oh, and Spike? Any time you wanna learn more about dragons? It’s not a whole lot, but I can always look through my book for more information.”

“Thanks Ledger,” the dragon nodded. “But I've been through that once already. I have a pony mom, and a pony sister. I've always thought of myself as one, rather than a dragon.”

“If you say so,” Ledger said with a soft smile.

“Yup,” Spike shrugged and started to head off, before pausing. “Oh, and Ledger?” He waited until he had the changeling’s attention. “Don’t do anything perverted to Twilight while she's asleep.”

“I would never!” the drone said, before pausing for a beat and continuing. “It’s far more fun when she can actually respond.”

“It's also more fun when you aren't covered from head to hoof in third degree burns. Remember that.” And with that, the dragon turned and exited the room.

“Somedrake is just a little too protective of his big sister,” Ledger said before cuddling Twilight again.

“Painted Palette,” Cider simply said. Ledger breathed deeply for a moment before letting it out.

“I met the stallion, I trust the stallion,” he repeated to himself. “I will not get angry about my sister’s choice…”

“And the fact they share a bed?” Cider replied a little too smugly.

I will not go to the Crystal Empire and set him on fire,” Ledger hissed.

“Yer adorable,” Cider giggled and leaned over to kiss his forehead.

“Besides which, Sis would likely get revenge if I did.”

“That she would,” Cider mused. “Like any good changelin’ would yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” Ledger agreed. “I doubt she’d stick to color-changing spells either.”

“Shutuuuuuuup,” Twilight groaned.

“Whoops, we woke the princess,” Cider whispered and giggled.

“Sorry love,” the drone whispered. “We’ll be quieter.”

“Good, or I'll send you to the moon,” she mumbled and started snoring again.

“So, sleep then?” Cider asked.

“Sounds good to me,” Ledger agreed and closed his eyes. Soon sleep claimed them all.


When Ledger awoke the next morning, he saw that he was down one mare.

And that there was the scent of waffles in the air. He lazily looked around to see who’d left. Cider was still sleeping, so that meant…

Oh sweet Hives, Twilight Sparkle was in the kitchen…

Suddenly panicked into action, or as panicked as he could be without caffeine, the drone ambled out of the bed and began searching for the source of the smell.

It didn’t take long, not after he remembered he was a changeling and followed that sense instead.

He peeked into kitchen…

And saw Twilight Sparkle cooking breakfast. She had her mane done up in a loose ponytail, and wore buttoned up white shirt. Her hind legs were covered in a pair of very tight black stockings and she hummed a small tune as she shook her rump.

He wasn’t sure which breakfast was more tempting, until a certain part of his anatomy started responding to the sights provided him…

And his stomach growled.

Twilight’s singing paused as she turned to the source of the noise. “Oh, morning Levvy. I was up early, so I thought I'd cook breakfast… though I think I burned them a little.”

“I’m sure I can deal with them if they’re a little overcooked,” Ledger said. “Though I’m having trouble deciding which one of you I want to eat up first~”

“Huh? Oh!” Twilight giggled and struck a sexy pose. “Is that so Mr. Ledger. Maybe you'd like a little sweetener with your breakfast?”

“Who said I wanted only a little?” Ledger asked as he advanced on her, licking his lips all the while.

“Oh my,” Twilight remarked and put a hoof to her chest. “Why, I do believe you have some insidious intentions towards me.”

Some?” the drone asked before placing a kiss on her cheek. “Clearly we’ve not trained you well if you’re only expecting some.”

“No, I know exactly what you're expecting,” Twilight smiled and put a hoof to his chest. “And if I say you can't touch yet?”

“Then I’ll ambush you in the shower later and let you know exactly what I think of your outfit,” the drone replied.

“Silly little buggy, I thought of that and already had a shower.” Truth be told she smelled really rank when she woke up. Alcohol left a nasty taste in her mouth the morning after.

“Then I’ll get Cider’s special cuffs and attend your court in your throne, with you sitting next to me,” the drone said. “It’d be up to you how you sat down, of course.”

“You. Wouldn’t. Dare…”

Ledger’s wide grin was her only answer.

“You bucking would…” Twilight sighed. “Well, I guess you’re lucky I'm only kidding then. Feel free to eat whatever. You. Want~”

“I think I’ll have the stuffed mare, then,” Ledger mused. “But first, are you currently cooking anything? I’d rather avoid having something burn just because I was having some fun with you.”

Twilight’s eyes flicked to the empty stovetop. “No...”

~*~*~

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