The World in Ponyvile
The strange Alicorn was a sight for the town. However after Nightmare Moon's return, Discord, Tirek and everything else, a strange Alicorn seemed relatively normal by now. "So, you know how to use magic and you casted a transformation spell on yourself?" Twilight asked in astonishment. Deathwing found her amazement a bit troublesome. "Don't all dragons possess magic?" Deathwing asked. Twilight had a hoof behind her head. "They do, but it's mostly just greed growth and flames," Twilight answered. Before the conversation could continue, (a wild) Pinkie Pie appeared
"Twilight did you see where the huge dragon went? Who's this?" she asked, bouncing up and down repeatedly. "Waaaaaaaaait a minute." She made a screeching halt mid-air and frowned.
...
"How do you...?" Deathwing started, but before he could finish the question, the laws of physics suddenly worked again and pulled the pink pony to the ground. That didn't stop her from getting back up and proceeding to talk. Fast.
"Oh-my-gosh!-You're-a-new-pony.-I-know-you're-new,-because-I-don't-know-you-and-I-know-everypony-in-Ponyville.-AH!-You-must-be-the-new-pony-Discord-told-me-would-come-today!-I'm-Pinkie-Pie.-Who-are-you?-Why-is-a-part-of-your-body-metal?-Are-you-a-cypony?-Your-mane-is-really-hot,-so-maybe-you're-Princess-Celestia's-long-lost-brother!-Are-you?-Oh-my-gosh.-In-need-to-throw-you-a-'Welcome-to-Ponyville'-party,-since-you-don't-know-anypony-and.if-you-don't-know-anypony-that-means-you-don't-have-any-friends-and-you-don't-have-any-friends-which-makes-you-all-sad.-And-when-you're-sad,-then-I-am-sad,-because-I-don't-want-you-to-be-sad." Pinkie took in a deep breath. Twilight, having the most experience with the party pony, decided this was the best time to put a hoof into the other mare's mouth.
"Pinkie, what did I tell you about- wait. Where did you get the marshmallow from?" Sure enough, Pinkie Pie was holding a stick with a marshmallow attached to it. It was just above Deathwing's mane, like one would do on a campfire. The situation was so ridiculous, Deathwing started to laugh out loud. In the meantime, Pinkie Pie munched the thing down.
"Well...Pinkie Pie, was it? My name is Neltharion. But I'm also called Deathwing."
"Deathwing?" Pinkie repeated, losing all her cheeriness. "That's not a nice name. There, I prefer Nel-...your other name, even though it is a really, REALLY, complicated name. Why would anypony have a name like that at all?"
"Maybe it's because I AM the dragon that "disappeared"."
"Ooooooh! So you're a magic dragon. That makes sense!" Pinkie nodded. The next thing she did was putting her hoof into her mane and taking out two party invitations before she handed, or was it hoofed them over.
"See you at the party!" Pinkie hopped away, like it was just another day in Ponyville. Wait, how many dragon's appeared in Ponyville already? Yep, just another day.
Deathwing turned to twilight with a look of confusion. "Should I be concerned about that?" he asked. It was weird, yet the pink earth pony seemed to have done impossible stuff for no reason. "Oh don't worry it's just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie" Twilight said, hoping that made sense. The others soon came up.
"Twilight do you know where that dragon went?" Rainbow Dash asked. However at seeing the Alicorn with her, they blinked. "How?" Rainbow asked.
"I used my magic," Deathwing said.
"So, you used your magic to get that metal on your body? Haha, for a second I thought you were a cypony. Wait, didn't that dragon...whoa! So you mean you ARE the dragon?!"
'She didn't get it before? Looks like the other two didn't get it either.'
"Yes, that's me. If I may introduce myself, my name is Neltharion, but I'm mostly known as Deathwing."
"Deathwing?!" Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "That sounds...AWESOME." Guess who said that? "Of course, not as awesome as I am, but it comes pretty close."
"Oh really?" Deathwing accepted the challenge. "Well, who are you? And what can you do that is more awesome than turning into a dragon?"
"Heh." Rainbow zoomed closed to the dragon turned into a pony. "I am the fastest flier in all of Equestria."
"Is that so?" Deathwing asked, getting his face closed to hers.
"Actually...she is." Everyone turned towards Twilight.
"She is?" Rarity asked. "Not that I ever doubted you, darling," she assured Rainbow Dash, as the mare glared at her, "but Twilight would never say something like this without any concrete proof."
"The thing is I have the proof. You see, Rainbow Dash easily comes up to more than three-"
"The short version, please," Rainbow Dash groaned. Twilight's eye twitched with irritation, but she cut to the chase. "Rainbow Dash's top speed is around three thousand six hundred miles per hour. When she does her Sonic Rainboom, and it is a given fact that she's the first pegasus to do it in centuries, she instantly doubles her speed."
...
...
"That IS...awesome. I'm still bigger than you."
Rainbow Dash was agitated. "Oh yeah, you think you’re so tough?" Rainbow Dash asked. Deathwing raised his hooves and slammed it on the ground. The ground gave way, as a crater formed and a mini earthquake erupted. "I do have the power of the planet at my claw, or hoof in this matter," he said with a smile.
There was a sudden flash as Discord appeared. "What's going on, I thought I felt a disturbance in the force," Discord said. He saw it was only the Alicorn version of Deathwing. "Nice shape shifting." In a snap, Discord transformed into an Alicorn himself. "Though I have to ask: metal wings?"
Neltharion shrugged. "Comes with the package, I guess. Besides, I think they look good."
Discord looked down at himself. "Blergh. I need more variety. At least you're not the run of the mill alicorn; *cough* red alicorns *cough*." No one understood the last part.
"Yes, well I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Rarity. Rainbow Dash you already know. And next to me, we have Applejack," Rarity introduced the rest in a polite manner. She and Applejack were still wary of the dragon, but since Twilight trusted him, they could trust him as well.
"Nice to meet ya. Though, ya should go with Neltharion while ya around pony folk. Could scare folks unnecessarily."
"I hate to bring it to your attention, but ponies will be intimidated alone when they find out that I am the dragon from earlier," Neltharion pointed out.
"Not to mention the chaos that will ensure, when the other ponies realize that those are real wings and not just some exotic accessories. Everypony will think they insulted royalty." Discord laughed, while the rest minus the newcomer rolled their eyes. Neltharion in the meantime, was a little confused.
"Why would they think that I'm royalty?"
"Alicorns aren't exactly common," Twilight explained. "In fact, there are only four, myself included. I don't mean to brag, but alicorns have extraordinary powers and are immortal."
"Ah, I understand." Deathwing nodded.
As the group walked into the palace, Pinkie was seen finishing her party. "Welcome to Ponyville” was on a banner. The pink pony hopped over to them. "Hey, you came just as I finished everything," Pinkie Pie said. Deathwing wondered how she’d managed to get everything together in such a short time.
"Question. Are you sure she’s not a reality-warping being?" The dragon in disguise asked Twilight.
“Honestly?” Twilight replied. “We probably don’t want to know. Everypony has long ago accepted her antics as Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.
…
She’s not a dragon like you, is she?”
“…You’re right. I don’t want to know.”
Most of the guests had already arrived and looked in awe at the alicorn. Some even started to bow. Neltharion decided to clear some things up before anything else. “No need to bow,” he addressed the ponies. “I’m not royalty or anything. Just…a little unusual.”
In the meantime, the mayor approached Twilight. “Princess, not to be rude or anything, but shouldn’t we wait for the party, until the issue with the dragon is solved?” she asked in a whispering tone.
“Ah, yes about the dragon,” Twilight said loud enough to get everypony’s attention. “We managed to help the dragon. As it turned out, he was in pain for reasons we’re still trying to figure out. Unfortunately he’s suffering from amnesia, but so far he’s been really nice. Why don’t you introduce yourself?” She turned towards the alicorn.
The other ponies’ eyes went wide when they heard those words. Neltharion suppressed the urge to sigh at the fearful expressions and introduced himself properly, leaving out his other name for obvious reasons. “My name is Neltharion, and don’t worry. I don’t mean to bring any harm to you ponies. I’m sorry if I scared you earlier. As for my appearance, I’m capable of changing my form.”
“And you can grill marshmallows with his hair!” Pinkie tried to ease the tension, by holding multiple sticks with marshmallows over the dragon-turned-pony’s head and then giving one to each pony around.
“I never felt so humiliated in my life,” Deathwing said with a sigh. The party had sweets and what looked like a carrot hot dog. Without his claws, he had to find some way to move them. He remembered a basic telekinesis spell. His eyes glowed with his horn as their food came up to his mouth.
He wondered what was going to happen and what he could remember.
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Why did she asked? she said it normal.
you missed a "
but non the less awesome ^^.
Will we see more of him in his real form? Or will he stay Pony form?
5857214 He changes into pony from because its easy for him to interact with others however his real form will appear in the next chapter
We wonder how he may react to other displaced showing up from some manner or another?
5857279 That depends on who wants to meet him first? I know I also have Trevor but that's a silly pointless way to do it.
Trust Pinkie to figure out how to toast marshmallows using alicorns
5857257 I think this will be fun ;P
for the record whenever some one new starts talking it should be a new paragraph. text between quotes is fine as long as theyre the same person (pony) saying them.
should just be cast
Pinkie Pie, it's her name it needs capitals.
lol that pinkie for you XD
MORE!
if you would like that is.
Forgot to cap a few names (mostly Pinkie Pie) but other then that, Awesome~
Damn. This looks epic. Are you planning on any crossover chapters soon? Since it is a Displaced story
5857958 Do you know anyone?
5857964 A few, including myself. But that would just be asking a lot.
5857994 Oh then could you give me there links?
files.sharenator.com/for_the_love_of_god_MOAR_Weird_Video_Game_Facts_Part_8-s450x516-138604-580.png
Great story so far.
5858321 They would probably be in the summoning token thread on the forum of the Displaced group.
5858763 That pic...
Man you made my day...
5863816 Hey he only transformed into it because it's better then being a living volcano.
Like the story man... But getting him an opponent would be hard. I like Deathwing and all, but he's always been OP.
5865124 True nothing short of Discord or Tirek could be a good match so I'm going to be creative in that.
5865132 Good! Can't wait!
OK. A couple of things I need to tell you here.
1) Get an editor. This story desperately needs one. There are places where I needed to read it several times to have even the faintest idea of what was happening.
2) A very basic rule that one should never forget when writing stories: New speaker -> new paragraph. NO EXCEPTIONS. It's better to have a paragraph of just one word spoken by unspecified speaker than force reader to try divine who speaks and where in a paragraph with multiple speakers.
I'm sorry if I seem harsh with this comment. It's not that I wish to talk you down or anything but I'm interested in where you'll take this story. It's an interesting concept but you need to improve execution. I'll track for now hoping that you'll improve in the near future. This has much promise but the typos make it feel a bit too rushed.
...
nsarchive.gwu.edu/NSAEBB/NSAEBB162/fat-man-model.jpg
There's a more subtle way to scene transition.
I thought the sisters were immortal for being different alicorn?
where did you get Rainbows speed from?
6168491 real phisics as speed of sound is around 700 mph apparently multiplying her speed x4.
Great story, I'm loving it so far.
Yup, good old Ponyvile. Gigantic apocalyptic dragon? Meh, just another Thursday.
6354173 HOW ARE THEY NOT DEAD?!!!!!
6422687 cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/65013035.jpg
6220386 It's mach one or 767 mph
You know, I think this story had a ton of potential. The idea of a third creature, being able to control the very planet they live on is interesting to say the least. I believe that throughout the story he should remain large. The story will be that he has taken up roost someplace on Equus. since he is literally the manifestation of the planet, any threat coming from the planet itself would be too lackluster. The only suitable threat would be from an otherworldly source. perhaps give Deathwing the ability to breathe and fly in outer space. There could be an army of space pirates trying to take over the planet, or perhaps an interstellar fleet coming to commandeer the planet via means of force. or perhaps it could be a space demon or even a black hole coming to swallow up the planet. just throwing some ideas your way. any of these would make a great story in my opinion. or... as a god himself... he could attempt to defend his planet from the evil clutches of an all-powerful god.
Did anyone else hear Monkey D. Luffy Sneeze violently at his line being grabbed?
*Insert eyes glow meme here*