The Awakening
The fight with Tirek was finally over. The energy of the rainbow power had fixed all the damage he had done to the world. However, while it fixed the magical balance deep within the planet, it awoke a being who had been in a deep dreamless sleep.
'Pain. Agony.' The first thoughts of a being trapped deep within the very land itself. Within a pool of magma a clawed foot smashed into the wall of its cavern. The effect was felt out into the world itself, for out in Equestria's outer lands cracks formed in the earth and expanded into canyons.
Back in the pool a tail whipped out and slammed into the rocks themselves. The effect was sent out from the point of contact. In the badlands, water came out as lakes and rivers long since lifeless gave water once again. The dry river beds where given a rebirth.
A banging was heard as a head smashed against the wall. A volcano erupted with a bang far out in the world. A long dead volcano came back to life as the very earth itself fed it new magma.
Finally huge wings rose from the magma and eyes opened up. With a thrust the behemoth tore through the earth. The effect was felt all across the world. The earth shook, in the zebra lands the elders felt the ground tear open as they communicated with the spirits. In the mountains of the Griffin lands, rock slides were seen tearing the land up as mountains rose ever higher to taste the sky. In the ancient deserts, old buildings collapsed into their weight. The wonders long since standing gave out under the stress.
Finally far away near Equestria’s border, the earth shattered and a dragon came out in a cloud of ash and fire. He began flying over the landscape, with no clear direction in mind, passing over various towns and villages.
In Ponyville, the earthquake was felt by Twilight Sparkle, her friends, and everypony else present in the town. "What's going on?" Twilight asked. Pinkie Pie's Pinkie Sense went off, namely the twitchy tail. A huge roar was heard. They ran to the window, flying in the distance was the biggest dragon they had ever seen.
If any of the ponies would have been closer, they would have noticed the grass under the dragon shriveling away. The huge leviathan hasn't even reached Ponyville, yet the six friends could already make out some details on the dragon. It had black scales, although whether that was their original color or if it came from the ash was debatable. What really made the dragon dangerous, aside from probably being the hugest dragon to be ever sighted in Equestria, was his metal armor. As if this wasn't enough of a shocker, Twilight was sure she could see lava flowing underneath the metal armor.
The screams of the local Ponyville residents got Twilight out of her stupor. She could stare in awe-horror later. Right now they had to act quickly.
"Spike! Send a note to Princess Celestia. We need her help, NOW!"
"Oh... err... on it!" he shouted, running out of the room to get a quill and paper.
"Rainbow Dash. Get the weather team together and get the ash under control." Instead of responding, the cyan mare zoomed out, leaving a rainbow colored trail and a shattered window behind.
"Fluttershy. You and I can try to calm the dragon down. If it reaches Ponyville, who knows what might happen?"
Fluttershy let out her trademark 'eep', but nodded meekly, understanding the situation.
"The rest of you girls, try to keep everypony as calm as possible and get them out of town."
'Make it stop,' the dragon thought to himself. It let out a scream, which sounded like one of rage, but was actually one of pain. Even the dragon itself would have a hard time telling the two apart, if it hadn't been the one actually experiencing it. But aside from the pain there were no clear thoughts inside the dragon's head.
In the meantime it kept its steady course to Ponyville, although it barely registered the village ahead as more than just something sticking out of the ground, which came closer and closer. It didn't really notice that it was losing height and would soon hit the ground.
Two Elements of Harmony quickly approached the dragon, namely the Elements of Kindness and Magic. Twilight was certainly glad she came with Fluttershy. The heat became unbearable rather quickly, so in response she cast a shield around herself and her friend.
"Oh my!" Fluttershy gasped. Now up close the two ponies could see just how big the creature was. Not only big but also grotesque and... in pain. The butter colored pegasus could see it in the creature's eyes. And the reason for the pain was more than obvious. The metal armor wasn't just simple armor. It was actually keeping the dragon together. You could even see the tiny hooks keeping each plate together. At this point Fluttershy was inwardly torn between her instincts telling her to do a sonic rainboom (if she could, but she couldn't) in order to get away from the flying volcano as fast as possible and her motherly instincts to try and comfort the thing.
"By Celestia... it looks like it's about to explode," Twilight stated, fear evident in her voice. She looked over to her friend and was both surprised and glad that she had not flown away. The lavender alicorn wouldn't have held it against the pegasus.
"Twilight, i-it's i-i-i-in pain," Fluttershy stuttered, the dragon coming closer and closer to their position.
"I guess that's no surprise. It's like his body is a gigantic volcano! That can't be normal!"
"M-m-m-maybe y-y-you can d-d-d-do the s-s-s-same you did w-w-with m-m-m-me. Y-you know, the d-d-dislocated shoulder, after R-R-R-Rainbow D-Dash crashed i-into me. I-I don't think I-I can t-t-talk to it, as long as it is in p-p-p-pain."
Twilight brainstormed the idea and came to the conclusion: "Whatever works." She doubted her most powerful spells could even scratch the armor of that thing.
Back in Canterlot, the earthquakes had been a cause for alarm, as they had been everywhere on the planet. "Sister, what just happened?" Luna asked. It had only been a few days since Tirek was defeated, so naturally nopony wanted to deal with another disaster so soon.
"I don't know," Celestia replied, worried. "This is the strongest earthquake we've had in a long time. I hope nopony was hurt."
In a flash of light Discord appeared. "Well, you're not the only one experiencing this," the deity of chaos stated without any introduction. "I dare say every single being on this planet has felt it."
The two sisters were startled by this revelation. Before either of them could ask him further, a letter from Twilight appeared in front of the sun princess.
Dear Princess Celestia,
A huge dragon is heading towards Ponyville! Send help!!
Spike
Back with the others, Twilight used her spell in hopes of helping the gigantic lizard, but given the size of the being it did nothing. "It didn't work. It's just too big." Twilight turned to Fluttershy. "If only the princesses or even Discord where here."
A flash of light later the chaos entity and the royal sisters of the sun and moon appeared. "How about both?" Discord asked a little cockily. The leviathan of a dragon let out a roar at the newcomers.
"Even adult dragons normally don't get that big," Luna stated, looking at it.
Discord gave it a look over. "Well I was right, the World has awakened and it's a dragon," the deity said with a look of pondering.
The four ponies looked at him, confused. "Come on, Celestia the Sun, Luna the Moon, there has to be something for the world we live on, you know." Discord said, pointing out a logical conclusion. The fact that he used logic caused a paradox which cancelled out the universe level apocalypse.
"We need to help it. It's in pain," Fluttershy 'shouted'.
"OK, I need each of your help, princesses. Yours too, Discord." The alicorns of the Sun and Moon nodded at Twilight as did the avatar of Chaos. The three focused their magic at Twilight, which she used to cast a massive spell at the dragon. When the lavender blast hit the dragon, something strange seemed to happen. The metal armor seemed to morph.
'No, scratch that. It is morphing,' Twilight thought to herself. Not only morphing, but it seemed to fuse with the dragon's skin. It looked like Discord's chaos magic had somehow changed what the spell was supposed to do or modified it.
The lava inside the dragon cooled off. No more cracks could be seen on the dragon's skin anywhere. It was like a volcano had just gone to sleep.
Fluttershy noticed another change. It was the dragon's eyes. Instead of showing the panicking eyes of a wild animal, they seemed now intelligent and very relieved. Well, that was until the dragon looked down and found out it was high above the ground. The first clear thought it had this day was: 'That's gonna hurt.'
The titan of a dragon crashed, the mass and momentum of his form caused it to slip on the earth, kicking up a cloud of dust and dirt. Form the fog the shadow of the great beast rose up. Suddenly its body glowed as the lava flowed and it gave out a mighty roar!
Everyone, even the princesses and Discord, had to block out the defying sound of its roar. The fog gave way as the lava hardened partly and the great dragon turned to them. For a moment no one spoke as perfect silence existed. Then the great dragon spoke. "What just happened?"
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Pecila: AWESOME! You're a huge dragon!
Also, Spook should be spoke I think.
2:50
that is all
Okay, need more of THIS!
Also, editor. Punctuation, spelling and grammar are worse than mine is.
Twill be watching.
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fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/162/0/c/holy_shit_by_maseb123-d534uzd.jpg
That was the coolest trailer I've ever seen.
Oh damn, you caught my attention. Please continue. This story is very interesting.
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that wasn't just a trailer...
i'll let Joshcorcher tell you about it
5838146 That is the best ending
to a gameever!! hands down no contest I would buy that game just to see that video.It was beautiful
Much potential, we see this as much.
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http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/pr/product/
the current rates, if I remember them correctly, is $9.99 (US) for a single character per month, or $14.99 for up to 40 characters over 8 servers.
I love it.
25 likes already? Sheesh, wish my own stories would get this much attention.
By the way, since I'm here, might as well inform our dear readers. Season 5 is still coming out. We want to include it, but at the same time we don't want to wait until a new episode is released for an update.
The story might get a little contradictory at some points.
By the way NUE, nice summary. Though I will say I prefered my ending of the chapter (insert pride here)
Yes Deathwing in equestria ^^, my second favorite of the five ^^ after Malygos ;P
lets see what will happen to this world
so very many typos. tor should be tore, tar should be tear, wounders should be wonders, form the Shadow should be from the shadow, spook should be spoke, fucking TWICE! I'm sure there were more.
5838974 Is it contradictory that the German dude and not the American dude is doing the editing?
As a Displaced story shouldn't this have a 'Human' tag as default even if he isn't human anymore
5840983 Maybe
5839022 considering a depressing amount of non-native english speakers speak it better than native speakers, not really.
Oh, this is gonna be good!
Wonder if he just so OP he kills just by walking around...
5841209 I don't know but he did just alter the planet
Another displaced?
Yay
Work on your spelling.
The ultimate "turned into a dragon" fic! Careful there, bud, get to upset and their world will shatter.
Well I guess it did spook the others.
I know this was just a simple typo (hey, mistakes happen) but damn if I didn't laugh.
I'm only a few paragraphs in and the grammar errors are almost overwhelming. Fortunately I'm not a grammar Nazi so I'll just mentally correct the narration in my head and enjoy the story.
Still though, I would recommend downloading Word and writing with that, the spell checker should alert you to most of your errors.
Then the great dragon spook
spook
SPOOK
static1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Thank+mr+skeltal+_6c17058afa87a6533ba640b56f48cba4.gif
Get a proofreader... Srsly
I'm sorry the story seems interesting enough but I just can't get over the spelling
I would happily revisit this after some major editing
The Awakening
These were the first thoughts of a being trapped deep within the very land itself.
> Fragmented sentence
Within a pool of magma, a clawed foot smashes into a cavern wall.
> "Within" is a single word, polls are for taking votes on something, and "smashed" was changed to "smashes" because its something happening right then, leading up to the following event of tremors wracking the planet. "its cavern" suggests the cavern belongs to something, but it is not obvious whether you're referring to the cavern being the clawed foot's climbing stone, or the pool of magma's container
The effect was felt out unto the world itself.
> "into" suggests inside, e.g. inside the earth, "unto" suggests "upon", e.g. upon the planet's surface
In the far reaches of Equestria, cracks formed ground as fissures split wide upon the land.
>Reworded to be less repetitive, e.g. out in the outer lands, formed + formed. Also, a Canyon is a gap created in the surface via running water, a fissure is a gap created by cracking/splitting in the planet's crust
Back in the underground pool, a tail whips out and slams into its rocky prison.
>Please proof read once after using a spell-checker, its probably why you're misspelling things like "whipped" as "wimped"; also, past to present tense with the same reason as described before. "Underground" added, so the reader knows you're not talking about a swimming pool. "Rocks themselves" suggests the solid magma cavern wall is in fact, built from multiple rocks in pieces (which would have leaked out all the magma long ago.)
This is about as far as I can bring myself to go with editing on the spur of the moment, but hope it helps
Despite some grammar mistakes, an interesting idea and a good intro, nice work.
Couldn't get over the drastically huge amount of spelling, grammar and syntax mistakes as well as the massive rushing of the first chapter. Would not recommend.
To be sure you don´t understan it the wrong way, I wanted to well....say that I don´t mean anything bad by it.
I somehow got the feeling he might as well could have said "Hi I´m Steve."
Well I liked the first chapter.
I know that picture.... who is it again?
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That just... That made my day. Only way it could be funnier if he did the I'm okay! thing.
Listen to this song “for whom the bell tolls By sabaton” While reading the first paragraph