A Great And Powerful Enchantress! (Part Two)
In a yellow blur, five screaming fillies were pushed out of the way of Spike's flame blast. A cloud swept in, pushed by Rainbow Dash, who gave it a good swift buck, dumping rain on the flames and Spike. Once the fire was out, Rainbow landed in front of Spike, back arched and wings flared. "The HAY is your problem, Spike?!"
Spike glared at her. "You want some, Rainbow Dash? Come and have a go, if you think you're pony enough."
"Oh, I'm pony enough!" Rainbow said, snorting steam. "You need your butt kicked!"
Nearby, Fluttershy was sheltering the five freaked-out fillies. "Are you alright, girls?" she asked softly.
"Th-that was s-s-scary!" Sweetie Belle stammered, eyes wide.
"What the heck's HIS problem?" Scootaloo asked, frowning at Spike.
"Ah think somethin' bad musta happened," Apple Bloom said. "That...that ain't like him at all..."
"I knew it was a bad idea to have a dragon in a pony town," Diamond Tiara said sourly. "Even if he IS the princess' PET." She tilted up her nose. "Come on, Silver Spoon. I've had enough of these losers for one day."
She trotted off, Silver Spoon marching behind her with the same snooty expression.
"You're welcome," Fluttershy said softly to their retreating backs.
Meanwhile, Rainbow was crouched low to the ground, tensing and flexing her wings, eyes narrowed. Spike glared at her, smoke curling from his nostrils as he clenched his claws into fists. Rainbow blurred forward in a rush of speed, slamming into Spike with her front hooves; Spike rolled across the ground, coming to rest against a wagon. The salespony manning the wagon bolted for cover as Spike leapt to his feet with a snarl, broke off part of the wagon's harness, and set it on fire. With a wordless battle cry, he charged Rainbow, brandishing his flaming weapon.
Rainbow jumped into the air, stirring up a wind with her wings. Spike's feet dug furrows in the ground as he fought against the wind; his weapon guttered out. Growling, he tossed it away, then jumped straight up, blowing a massive cloud of fire. Rainbow darted out of the way, a rainbow contrail stretching behind her as she flew around behind Spike and punched him in the back of the head. Spike ate dirt; he pushed himself up as Rainbow landed nearby, breathing heavily.
Fluttershy darted between them, wings spread wide. "STOP THIS, YOU TWO! You're friends! You shouldn't be fighting like this!"
"Out of the way, duckie," Spike growled. "I've been wantin' to shove a fist in that fat face of hers for years."
"THAT'S IT!" Rainbow yelled, flying up and over Fluttershy, then diving down...
* * * * *
Pinkie Pie burst into the library. "TWILIGHT! Something's wrong with Spike!"
Twilight looked up from her book. "What?" She stood up. "Was he in an accident? Is he sick? What's wrong?"
"I don't know!" Pinkie said, prancing in place. "He keeps changing colors and he's acting really weird! First he was blue and he was all sad and mopey, then he turned pink and started pranking and wanting to do fun things, then he turned black and got all nasty and blew fire at me..."
"Wait, what?" Twilight asked. Her wings flared out. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm telling you, Spike keeps changing colors and every time he changes colors he starts acting different!" Pinkie said. "Maybe he has some really weird dragon disease or something? Whatever it is, it's totally freaking me out and I think he could really be in trouble!"
Trixie and Twilight exchanged glances. Twilight frowned. "Alright, where did you see him last?"
"In the marketplace!"
The three mares winked out in triple bursts of magenta light.
* * * * *
Twilight, Trixie, and Pinkie found themselves in the middle of a very confused scene.
The marketplace was mostly deserted except for a ring of ponies standing around the edges, watching anxiously. Among them were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who looked terrified for their lives.
In the middle, Rainbow Dash hung in midair, frozen in mid-kick above a cowering, trembling Spike whose spines and scales were a pale ash grey. Fluttershy hovered nearby, concern and confusion on her face.
"P-please d-d-don't h-h-hurt m-me," Spike whimpered, covering his head with his hands and shaking like a leaf.
Rainbow Dash disappeared in a magenta flash and reappeared upside-down in midair next to Twilight, suspended in her magic aura. "WHAT did you DO TO HIM?" Twilight roared angrily.
"ME?!" Rainbow cried. "It was HIM! He went completely crazy! He tried to torch those fillies over there, then he picked a fight with me!"
Twilight blinked and set Rainbow down. "He did what?" she asked, her voice soft and quavering. She raised a hoof as she looked over at Spike. "Spike? What...?"
"Umm...Twilight? I don't really know much about dragons, but...I think Spike is very sick," Fluttershy said as she trotted up to the group.
Spike's scales turned green; his spines turned bright blue. He abruptly stopped whimpering and shaking and stood up, dusting himself off. He looked around the deserted marketplace and licked his lips. "Hungry," he hissed. Before anypony could react, he rushed to the nearest wagon and started eating every piece of fruit it held.
"Spike, cut that out!" Twilight yelled.
Spike turned and hissed at her, then threw one last piece of fruit in his mouth. He bent over and let out a wet, whining fart, then dived head-first into the next wagon of produce.
"How disgusting!" Trixie complained, holding a hoof over her nose.
"It's like every time he changes color, he's a totally different dragon!" Pinkie said.
Twilight blinked. "Wait. Say that again?"
"It's like every time he changes color, he's a totally different dragon!"
Rainbow blinked. "Huh. Now that you mention it...he was black when he was acting like a big jerk, then he turned gray and got all scared of me, and now he's green and gross!"
"And before, he was sad when he was blue, then wanted to play when he was pink," Pinkie said.
Twilight frowned. "Trixie...you sampled one of those candies you enchanted yesterday, didn't you?"
"Yes," Trixie said.
"Did you notice anything...strange? Any odd thoughts, moods—"
"It was only candy, Twilight Sparkle," Trixie said. "Delicious candy that changed flavors every few minutes, but nothing more."
Twilight rubbed her muzzle with a hoof. "But you cast that spell on an emerald, as a present for Spike."
"Yes..." Trixie said, a note of concern creeping into her voice. "Are...are you about to blame Trixie for this?"
Twilight pursed her lips. "Well...it's a theory..."
"Because Trixie assures you she cast that spell correctly, both times," Trixie said. "Any unicorn could cast that spell."
Twilight's ears twitched. "But...you had to have done something differently the second time, right? I mean...nothing like this happened the first time..."
"Well...this is true," Trixie admitted. "Nothing peculiar happened to either myself or that candymaker when we tested the enchanted candies."
"And Spike? He was okay too?"
"Spike didn't try one of the candies," Trixie said. "He was out front minding the store."
Twilight gasped. "So this is the first time Spike's eaten anything enchanted with that spell, ever?"
"As far as I know," Trixie said. "Where are you going with this?"
"Yeah, Twilight, where ARE you going with this?" Spike suddenly asked. He was standing in front of them, scales red and spines black, claws on his hips. "I swear to Celestia's huge plot, every time you come up with some half-baked theory..." He shook his head. "A lot of times, I think you just talk to hear your own head rattle. Honestly, you're a joke, you know that?"
"Wh-what?!" Twilight said, tears brimming in her eyes.
Spike pointed a shaking claw at Trixie. "I'll tell you what happened. THAT epic fail of a pony screwed something up AGAIN. Case closed."
Trixie shied away, eyes wet.
"SPIKE!" Fluttershy snapped. "Shame on you! Apologize now!"
"Oh, don't even go there with me," Spike said, rounding on Fluttershy. "I have half a mind to tell you—"
His scales turned orange; his spines turned bright yellow.
"—that I'm lucky to have a kind, graceful pony like you as a friend." He looked at all of them. "I'm so lucky to have all of you as my friends, and...and..." He curled up into a ball and started sucking on his claw. "My tummy hurts."
"O-kay, this is startin' to creep me out," Rainbow said, staring at Spike with wide eyes.
Twilight swallowed nervously. "I think...I'd like to get Zecora's opinion on this," she said shakily.
* * * * *
Twilight, Trixie, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Fluttershy strode through the dark, spooky Everfree Forest. Spike was wrapped in a bubble of magical force; he kept changing colors, and each change of color brought a fresh wave of disconnected, emotional babble. "LET ME OUT, YOU PRISSY BIcause I-I'm s-scared of h-heights, and I'M HUNGRY, LET ME EAT SOMETHING, I'M so bored, I wanna do something fun and why do you always gotta jerk ponies and dragons around with your magic? We're sentient creatures, not books or quills and I'm sick, aren't I? What happened to me? Why does my tummy hurt? I want my Rarity doll even though Rarity's never going to love me and I don't even know why I'm still PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SHIT, YOU LAZY CU—"
"And we're here," Twilight said as she gagged Spike with her magic. Zecora's hut stood before them, colorful smoke gently wafting out into the dense forest canopy. Fluttershy knocked on the door; after a moment, it opened, and Zecora peeked out. "Goodness me! I appear to have company!"
"Hi Zecora," Twilight said. "We've got a little problem with Spike, and I'd like your opinion."
Zecora stared at Spike, who was currently black and furious, trying vainly to unclamp his jaws. "I see his color is out of whack. Should he not be purple instead of black?"
"That's only part of it," Twilight said. "Can we come in?"
Zecora stood aside and gestured them all inside. "Please, you must excuse this mess. I was not expecting a visit from a Princess." The cabin was littered with sachets of herbs, open books, flowers, and fruits. Zecora's cauldron was bubbling merrily away, issuing curls of purple steam that drifted up to the ventilation hole in the ceiling.
"—and what kind of alicorn princess needs a zebra's help all the time, anyway?" Spike ranted as Twilight ungagged him; his scales had turned red once again. "Seriously, shouldn't you be able to figure this shit out for yourself? I mean really, YOU'RE supposed to be the one everypony turns to with their problems, and—" He turned orange. "—it's okay that you don't always know the answers, even though I'm honestly a little disappointed when you don't. Or when you try to fix things and end up making them worse. I mean yeah, I do that a lot, but I'm just a baby dragon, and you're Celestia's star student and a princess! You shouldn't—" He turned pink. "—keep me standing around this boring place when there's so much FUN we could be having back in Ponyville!"
Zecora stared at him, blinking. "Oh dear. How queer."
"Zecora," Twilight began, "I think this has something to do with Golden Ticket's Hours And Hours Of Flavor Spell."
"The candymaker's spell?" Zecora asked. "Interesting. Do tell."
"Yesterday, Trixie learned that spell so she could help Bon Bon," Twilight said. "Today, she gave Spike an emerald that she'd enchanted with the same spell. After that, well..." She gestured at Spike, who had turned blue again and was blubbering in a corner. "This happened."
Zecora rubbed her muzzle with a hoof. "I see. Dear me." She nodded sagely. "You were wise to come here, Princess. I know precisely what caused this distress."
"Did...did I really screw up again?" Trixie asked softly, gazing at Spike with worried eyes. "I...I was just trying to do something nice..."
Zecora chuckled. "There is no need to place blame. If Twilight herself had done this, it would be the same."
Twilight flicked an ear. "So...what happened?"
"All magical creatures live by certain rules. Do you know why dragons eat jewels?"
Twilight frowned, furrowing her brow. "Because...it tastes good to them?"
Zecora laughed. "The reason goes deeper than simple desire. You see...gems are the fuel for a dragon's fire."
Fluttershy gasped. "I see! Eating gems is like shoveling coal into a boiler!"
Zecora nodded. "And if a jewel has been enchanted, the inner fire absorbs the magic that was granted."
Twilight tilted her head. "So...that candymaking spell got mixed up with Spike's dragon fire? But...that doesn't explain—"
"What you are seeing when Spike's colors change are different flavors of his emotional range," Zecora said.
Trixie's eyes widened. "Trixie understands! Each time that spell goes off, Spike's personality changes! Right?"
"Close," Twilight said, nodding thoughtfully. "I get it now. It's...it's like all the different emotions and thoughts and feelings that make up Spike's personality..." She looked over at Spike, who was now yellow and glum. "These color changes are bringing out the most extreme form of each part of his personality."
"Okay, so..." Rainbow frowned. "How do we fix him?"
Zecora shook her head. "There is no remedy but time. Once the magic runs its course, he should be fine."
"So...we just have to wait for this to wear off?" Twilight's ears folded back. "How long will that take?"
Zecora shrugged.
Twilight sighed. "Thanks, Zecora. Come on, everypony. Let's get back to Ponyville. We'll just have to keep a close eye on Spike until he's better."
"I would advise isolating Spike," Zecora said. "He will say things you ponies may not like."
"You got that right, stripey," Black Spike said, scowling at them.
"I can't just let my favorite assistant suffer through this all by himself," Twilight said. She sighed. "I guess...I'll just have to live with hearing what Spike really thinks about me..."
Trixie cleared her throat. "Trixie will stand watch over Spike until he recovers," she said. "This...this is, after all, my fault. And, well...Spike has made his opinion of me quite plain. He...couldn't possibly say or do anything I haven't already heard."
Twilight smiled gratefully at her. "Thanks, Trixie."
* * * * *
For the next four days, Trixie and Spike remained sequestered in a part of the castle Twilight rarely set hoof in. Twilight brought them food, books, and games. Occasionally, she would hear either Spike or Trixie sobbing or screaming, but Trixie insisted on bearing the burden alone.
On the fifth day, Twilight was reading over a report, not really concentrating on it, when the loudest, most grotesque fart she'd ever heard reverberated through the entire castle. She jumped straight up, eyes wide in alarm. "What in the—?" She raced out of the library, wings flared, and ran upstairs.
She skidded to a halt as a door opened and Spike strolled out. His scales were back to normal and he had a relieved smile on his face as he patted his stomach. "Ahh," he said. "That's better. Hey Twilight."
"Spike?" Twilight rushed up to him and swept him up in a huge hug. "SPIKE! You're okay!"
"Yep! I'm totally back to normal!" Spike laughed nervously. "Heh...guess I had you pretty worried there, huh?"
"Oh, Spike..." Twilight's eyes filled with tears.
Spike dropped back down to the floor and scratched the back of his head. "So, I uhh...might've said some stuff..." He coughed. "To a lot of ponies, actually..."
Twilight shook her head. "You weren't yourself, Spike..."
"But that's just it," Spike said. "I was myself. Everything I did and said, it...it all came from inside me. I just couldn't control what came out and when." He looked up at Twilight, tears in his eyes. "That...that stuff I said about you...I'm so, so sorry..."
Twilight bowed her head. "I...won't pretend it didn't hurt, hearing you say some of those things," she whispered. "I didn't know you really felt that way..."
"I don't!" Spike insisted, waving his claws. "I just...get a little frustrated sometimes, yeah...I mean you do make bigger mistakes than the average pony. But you're an amazing princess and an even more amazing friend, and I'm so lucky to have you."
Twilight smiled and sniffled. "Spike..." She swept him up in another huge hug.
After a long moment, Spike sighed. "I guess I've got a lot of apologies to hand out..."
"You can start by apologizing to Trixie." Twilight and Spike turned to see Trixie staggering up to them, her eyes wide, her irises shrunken, and her mane and tail sticking out in every direction. Her cheeks were green and bulging, as though she were about to be sick all over the place. "A little—*ulp*—warning would have been nice..."
"Trixie?" Twilight asked, drawing up a hoof. "What happened to you?"
"Your minion farted in Trixie's face."
"Heh...sorry," Spike said.
Trixie stared at him with narrowed eyes. "No you're not."
Spike shrugged. "You're right. I'm not." Grinning, he put his claws behind his head and made his way downstairs.
Twilight rolled her eyes and giggled. "Well, looks like everything's back to normal..."
* * * * *
By the end of the day, Spike had made his rounds around Ponyville, apologizing to everypony he'd insulted, offended, hurt, or scared. Most ponies had been understanding; a few still held grudges, and there were still damages to pay for anything Spike had wrecked or eaten while he was out of control, but that was just another day in Ponyville as far as Twilight was concerned.
The sun had set an hour ago; Spike had already gone to bed, Trixie was studying late in the library, and Twilight sat at her desk in her room, going over her weekly planner one more time before bed. She smiled as she looked at the date which was marked with a bright red square on her calendar.
"One more week, and Sunset Shimmer will be here..."
* * * * *
Deep Dish frowned as he studied the group of silent, hooded ponies seated around his parlor eating plain cheese pizzas.
All of them. Every single pony had ordered plain cheese. In his experience, it wasn't normal for so many ponies to order the exact same thing at the same time. If there was one thing ponies could never agree on, it was pizza toppings.
And then there were the identical grey hooded cloaks they all wore.
"Five more minutes, everypony!" a unicorn mare called out. She trotted up to the counter. "Your food is quite tasty," she said. "Your special talent is making pizza, is it not?"
"Of course it is," Deep Dish said, turning to show her his pizza slice Cutie Mark.
"And you're ever so good at it," the unicorn said pleasantly. "But doesn't it ever bother you that perhaps, just perhaps, there's somepony out there who's even better at it than you?"
"Well...not really, no," Deep Dish said.
"Oh, of course not!" the unicorn said, waving a hoof. "I mean, sure, there's probably somepony out there who can make a better pizza than you..." She narrowed her eyes. "Without it being their special talent..." She leaned forward. "While you've worked your whole life to live up to your Cutie Mark..."
Deep Dish frowned. "Lady, are you tryin' to start somethin' with me?"
"Oh, not at all!" the unicorn said, drawing back, eyes wide and innocent. "I'm only making conversation."
"Look, lady," Deep Dish said, "you and your friends've been givin' me the creeps since you got here, with your cloaks and your all orderin' the same thing and nopony talkin'. It just ain't natural. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave and never come back."
"Well, that's not very friendly of you," the unicorn said. "Did you all hear that? This pony is being most unfriendly! Do you see now, the difference between us and ponies who still have their Cutie Marks?"
"Yes," the ponies said in flat, lifeless voices.
Deep Dish blinked. "Wait...still have...?" His eyes widened. "Oh Celestia...! I've...I've heard about this in the news...! You're...you're that pony Princess Twilight has an arrest warrant out for!" His horn glowed, throwing back the mare's hood, revealing the smiling face of a pink unicorn with a green-striped purple mane.
"Well, well," Starlight Glimmer said, her expression turning cold. "I see the word is spreading...that could be a problem..."
"Just...just stay back! I'm calling the police!"
"Oh, I'm afraid I can't have that," Starlight Glimmer said. Her horn began to glow, projecting a pale turquoise beam at Deep Dish...
His horn lit up, and a pizza pan intercepted her spell. He turned it on its edge and hurled it at her like a missile, then ran for the service entrance through the kitchen.
Starlight Glimmer seized a wooden peel hanging next to the brick oven and sent it hurtling after him, striking him viciously across the back of the head. She panted heavily, snorting steam. "Well!" she huffed. She levitated the peel back to its resting place...then paused, bringing it closer and studying it curiously. "Hmm...you know, as much as I deplore violence..."
With a little spellwork, she fashioned a makeshift bandolier out of two aprons, tied it around her barrel, and slid the handle of the peel into it. "Time to go, my little ponies!" she called as she raised her hood back into place.
Starlight Glimmer's new followers filed out of the pizza parlor behind her, not speaking, not reacting, all stepping in perfect synchronization.
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And add a Ranma 1/2 reference to the list...
Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough! Love that song!
I enjoyed this chapter. Spike's emotion malady was well done and the reason why was good. Good job.
...
Aw, HELL, no!
6168089 I'm just happy somebody caught it
6168557 What can I say, I grew up on the obscure!
Someone's got to take that bitch down.
So apparently dragon digestive systems are suitably slow. Makes me wonder how he eats so many...
Keep going! ;)
6169021 He's not digesting the gems he eats, he's burning them. In magic fire. Which burns more slowly than the furnace on a steam locomotive. Takes a while for it to burn up a single large gem completely. That's my logic, anyway.
6169064 oh! Yeah, somehow we overlooked that part...
Who just orders cheese pizzas?
6169257 Creepy ponies who all have the same cutie mark and the same creepy smile and
*FLASH*
Are truly friends because they're all exactly the same, and isn't that what real friendship is all about? Isn't that what true harmony is? Everypony has the same likes, everypony has the same dislikes, everypony does everythi ng exactly the same as everypony else...
There no nothing that one big very fart don't heal.
Well there relationship has gone no where at this point.
6172471 Really? Are you sure?
6172501 well he is less mean towards yes. Though I would be mad for being shrunk down to fit in her vig.... LOWER part of her. Unless of course that happen to be Spike's fleshy after the event.
Hm...
I do hope that Spike's unpleasant revelations due to this don't go away. While some of them are just the idle thoughts that everyone has and unimportant, at least a few of them are pretty important revelations that probably need to be resolved.
Like his conflicted mostly unhappy feelings about Rarity.
Oh boy.
Racist.
Efficiency is magic.
The heck?
Never piss off a mother.
Uh oh.
Maybe the spell combined with the gem screwed with his dragon physiology.
Celestia: My plot is perfectly proportioned, thank you.
No. Really. However did you figure that one out.
Go on.
Right, I think I get it.
Roughly.
Great. Now keep him in that magic bubble so he doesn't do anything stupid.
Oh gee, you're useful.
See?
The Sex tag on this fic disagrees.
Yeah. Also, hand?
Oh dear.
Ooooh! That's gotta suck.
*sigh*
What is she up to?
Wait a tick, Starlight Glimmer!
Oh dear.
You creep me the f*ck out.
6168089 Ranma? Where?
6208865 Starlight Glimmer keeping the Pizza Paddle. Ukyo uses a spatula that's around the same size and makes Okonomiyaki (sort of, but not quite, Japanese Pizza).
6209074 Ah. Didn't connect those two at all. Not to mention, I don't see her chucking smaller versions like kunai any time soon. Or incorporating food in combat. She might try cross dressing, though. Don't think it would really work, but a disguise is a disguise.
6209074
6209556 Confession time: the one and ONLY reason for the reference is that Starlight Glimmer's voice actress is Kelly Sheridan, who voiced Ukyou in the dub.
6209615 Oh, really? Did not know that. Neat.
6209615 All the more reason to do it!
Ah, Starlight. No hypocrisy or convolution is too great for the sake of her message. Of course, when she's stripped any trace of uniqueness out of her minions, it's not like they're going to object on intellectual grounds.
Also, edible enchantments and dragons do not mix. Good to know.
Fun chapter, but I have to say, I agree with 6173549 and add that skipping over the recovery period is missing out on both possible comedy and possible drama. There is plenty of fuel in a "reveal your idle, sometimes unfair or irrational thoughts, just in extreme ways" for lots of character development. If you just let this incident die in favor of the Glimmer plot, I think you missed an opportunity.
To be perfectly honest, I would have preferred this to keep the focus on the characters, without involving an outside enemy, because it was going pretty well with plenty of conflict and comedy just from the interactions of the characters, but that's just me.
You haven't lost me as a reader, but those are my thoughts. I'm still looking forward to the next chapter.
Happy writing.
6225150
I'm actually not sure if it's going to "leave it alone." It might be that the problems go back for now, but continue to affect things. Could happen pretty easily in a serial story like this. Have to wait and see.
This awesome fic was already worth the price of admission. That part was like a free refund tho, or a free pass to the concession stand. That was awesome. That was perfect. That was hilarious.
Most Excellent.
7554815
Or worse than all of those. First have Luna make her live through the eyes of her victims in her dreams seeing all the worst she's done as those she's wronged. Then have Discord punish her to whatever degree he can imagine.
I mean she could easily steal the Cutie Marks from all the Princesses of Equestria, and she's powerful enough to make whatever villainous spell suits her desires. Like making Reverse Flash Speed Clones, or casting 'Dominate' (that she invented for the lolz to cast on her friends to make them do what she wanted). So yeah ... she needs something drawn out, long term, and can make her think about what she's done.