A Great And Powerful Librarian!
Twilight stared, slack-jawed, at the monstrosity that occupied more than a third of the library. It stood on two uneven legs made of books, with a body (made of books) like some misshapen minotaur. Two enormous arms made entirely of books stretched out from its sides, with books forming thick fingers. A single book hovering over its neckless torso served as its head; the cover had a pair of beady red eyes which glared down at them.
"What's the worst that could happen?" Spike echoed in a mocking tone. He waved a claw at the book golem. "Apparently, that."
"Wha...wha...wha..." Twilight stammered.
The golem roared, picked up Trixie, and threw her at Twilight. Twilight caught Trixie in her magic and set her on her hooves.
"Trixie has many, many papercuts," Trixie complained. "Oww..."
"Trixie!" Twilight hissed, bringing the unicorn around to face her. "What. Did. You. DO?!"
"I don't know!" Trixie said frantically. "Your library was a mess, I found a book sorting spell, I tried casting it..." She waved a hoof at the menacing tower of animated books. "And then THIS happened!"
"Book sorting spell, book sorting spell..." Twilight racked her brains. "Wait a minute...that spell was in one of the books we salvaged from the old library! Trixie, those books have lots of missing pages that were burned beyond repair!" Twilight threw her hooves into the air. "It isn't safe to cast ANY spell out of that book!"
"WELL HOW WAS TRIXIE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?"
The book golem cleared its throat. "Excuse me," it rumbled in a deep, masculine voice.
Twilight snapped her head around and glared at it. "Yes?"
"RAAAAAAARH!" the book golem roared. Its book hands shot out and punched all three of them, splattering them against a wall.
Twilight peeled herself off the wall. "Hold on a second!" She stared at the golem. "You can talk?"
"Well, I am made of books," the golem said. "Does it not follow that I would be quite erudite?"
Twilight blinked. "Umm...oookay..." She shook her head. "But if you can talk, why did you just attack us?"
The golem shrugged. "I'm a golem. Does it not follow that I would commit senseless acts of violence?" With that, it exploded into a hurricane of books which flew at the two ponies and dragon like a flock of demonic paper bats. They screamed and twitched as they endured dozens of papercuts.
The book that made up the golem's head hovered in front of them. "Pardon me for leaving so suddenly," it said, "but I feel the need to cause a widespread panic in the nearest settlement." With that, the hundreds of books that made up its body floated out the door in a single-file stream.
Twilight and Spike stared at Trixie.
"Nice work, Dripsie," Spike said acidly.
"This is not Trixie's fault!" Trixie declared. "How was Trixie to know that spell was...not fully assembled?"
"Maybe the burned edges of the missing pages should've been a clue?" Spike offered.
Trixie opened her mouth to protest...then stopped. "That...is a valid point, actually." Trixie rubbed her muzzle with a hoof. "Perhaps Trixie should be more observant when it comes to Twilight Sparkle's books. They often seem to be missing critical information."
"Guys, focus," Twilight said. "We need to go stop that golem. Preferably without damaging ANY of the books!" She glared at Trixie. "And I expect you to do your part in fixing this mess," she said. "Otherwise, you can leave Ponyville right now and never return."
"Of course I'll help," Trixie said, ears drooping. "You don't need to threaten me."
"Great. Let's go!" And with that, Twilight seized Trixie and Spike with her teleportation magic...
* * * * *
Trixie blinked as the bright afternoon sunlight reasserted itself. "Do...do you always teleport ponies against their will without warning?"
"Yes. Yes she does," Spike said.
A swarm of books flew overhead, headed for Ponyville. "Follow those books!" Twilight called. She took wing and followed the swarm. Spike jumped on Trixie's back.
"And WHAT do you think you're doing?" Trixie demanded.
"Hitching a ride!" Spike said. "I can't move as fast as a pony! Now move!"
Trixie rolled her eyes and charged off after Twilight and the book golem. "We will have a lengthy discussion about you invading Trixie's personal space later."
Spike narrowed his eyes. "Seriously. You really wanna go there."
Trixie gave him a sheepish grin. "Ahem. Perhaps not." She turned her attention back to the road before her.
Up ahead, the books picked up speed, gaining ground on the pursuing party...
* * * * *
Rarity hummed to herself as she hoof-stitched an intricate section of lace trim onto a new dress. She had spent over an hour working with this single piece, and with only a few more stitches, she'd be finished.
Her front door burst open and a massive hand made of books reached in, grabbed the ponnequin holding the dress, and threw it into the kitchen. The oven sparked and set the dress on fire.
Rarity screamed. "MY WOOOOOOORK!"
The smoke alarm went off. "MY KITCHEEEEEEN!"
The book hand grabbed her and hauled her out into the street. "MY GOODNEEEEEESSSS!"
* * * * *
Rainbow Dash was awakened from an afternoon nap rather rudely by a thick, heavy book slapping her repeatedly upside the skull. "Ugh...what the hay?" She sat up on her cloud and glared at the book with narrowed eyes. "There's only one pony that'd wake me up with a book..."
A dozen books floated around her. Each of them was as heavy as the first. Rainbow gulped. "Uhh...okay...I don't know what I did to tick Twilight off this time, but..."
The books raised in unison and swatted Rainbow, knocking her straight through the cloud. She cried out as she fell, awkwardly righting herself. She braked in midair, glaring up at the books. "Okay, NOT COOL!"
"Look out, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight called as she zoomed by, trailed by a dozen books. The books above Rainbow dived down to join their hardcover comrades; Rainbow watched in confusion as the miniature book storm coalesced into a leg, which kicked Twilight firmly in the plot.
Rainbow blinked repeatedly. "What the huh?!"
* * * * *
Hundreds of books hailed down on a confused, frightened Ponyville. Ponies ran in all directions, yelling and screaming as heavy tomes plowed into the ground, broke through thatched roofs, and shattered windows.
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie stepped out of Sugar Cube Corner, studying the confusion and chaos all around them. Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Oh my..." She retreated into the bakery, head low.
"Wow, I've never seen it rain books before," Pinkie said. "No wonder my Pinkie Sense has been going crazy!" She pulled out an umbrella hat and flipped it onto her head, then stepped bravely out into the bookstorm.
Twilight plowed into the ground in front of her face-first. "Hey Twilight!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "Funny weather we're having, isn't it?"
Twilight pulled herself up, shaking her head to clear it. A minute later, Trixie skidded to a halt at her side, Spike dismounting her. "Whoa," Spike said. "It sure wasn't kidding about that widespread panic thing."
The storm of books swarmed like angry bees, coalescing into the towering golem, which stood in the center of the road. It threw back its head and bellowed. Ponies screamed and bolted for their homes, the hills, the skies—anywhere that seemed safer than out in the open with the terrifying book golem.
"Okay, why's there a huge book monster terrorizing Ponyville?" Rainbow Dash asked as she descended next to Pinkie.
"Trixie here had a little accident with a book sorting spell," Twilight said. "But nevermind that now! The important thing is stopping this thing without destroying the books! I mean, this is literally every book in my library! I just finished restocking! Some of these are first editions and manuscripts!"
Pinkie and Rainbow gave Trixie the evil eye. Trixie backed away, a nervous smile on her face. "Aheh...oops?"
"Seriously? This turd's back?" Rainbow asked.
"Oooh, I'll have to throw a Welcome Back Turd party!" Pinkie declared. "After, y'know, we save Ponyville. Again."
"Trixie is not a turd!" Trixie declared hotly, stamping a hoof. "And Trixie will fix this mess!"
A book hand seized Trixie and lifted her high into the air. She struggled in its grasp.
Rainbow shook her head. "Man, I can't believe I'm doin' this," she said. Rearing back, she flew straight at the golem, plowing through its arm and scattering books everywhere. The hand broke apart, dropping Trixie to the ground. Pinkie rushed up and caught her; Trixie bounced off Pinkie's back as though she were a trampoline, landing on her hooves.
Twilight flew around the golem, strafing it with spells. Every spell that connected bounced harmlessly off the cover of a random book the golem detached from its body as a shield. It changed the shape of its arm into a massive booksaber, all the covers open so that the paper 'blade' could deliver maximum papercut damage, and started swinging wildly at Twilight, forcing her to weave and dodge.
"Spike! Can't you do anything?" Rainbow cried as she flew past, several books trailing in behind her and smacking her about the head, flanks, and back.
"The best I could do is start sending all these books to Princess Celestia with my flame breath!" Spike said. "Or maybe if I can find a big enough net..."
The book golem swatted Twilight out of the air, then raised its leg and stomped a house, caving half of it in. It raised its arms into the air and roared.
Fluttershy peeked out of Sugar Cube Corner, eeped, and ducked back in.
Rarity trotted up, mascara running and one false eyelash missing. "What in Equestria is happening here?" she demanded.
"Oh, the usual. Some stupid unicorn messed up a spell, made a big problem for Ponyville," Spike said, glaring at Trixie.
Rarity stared at Trixie. Her eyes narrowed. "I see," she said dangerously.
The book golem grabbed Rarity and threw her high into the air. She screamed; Rainbow took off after her, her own personal swarm of books still smacking her. Fluttershy shot out of the bakery after her.
"Wow, and here I thought only Twilight could make magical messes this major!" Pinkie said.
"This is RIDICULOUS!" Trixie cried. Glaring angrily at the book monster, she seized the book that formed its head in her magic and brought it close to her face. "LISTEN, YOU!" she roared. "You claim to be well-read because you're made of books. Then answer me this! What are books for?"
The golem struggled in her magical grasp, but she held firm, straining with all her might. "Books...have many purposes," the golem rumbled. "They record history. They impart knowledge and the wisdom of the ages. They entertain. They enlighten."
"Yes, correct, very good. Now answer this: do books terrorize ponies and destroy towns?"
"Not...usually, no."
"So would you say that rampaging around Ponyville wrecking buildings and attacking ponies and creating chaos is appropriate behavior for a pile of books?"
The golem stopped struggling. "Well...not really, I suppose."
Trixie stared hard at the golem. "You are made of books, and yet you behave like a rampaging unholy monster. Trixie says you are a library. Libraries don't rampage and destroy. So unless you want Trixie to rip out your pages one by one and tear out your bindings, you will go back to being a library. Don't think Trixie won't do it, either!"
The golem flinched. "A-alright."
And just like that, the avatar of printed death became hundreds of ordinary books lying on the ground, pages fluttering in the breeze. The books terrorizing Rainbow Dash fell lifelessly to the ground.
"Whoa," Spike said in the stillness that followed.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy descended slowly to the ground, carrying Rarity between them. "It's over?" Rainbow asked.
"Apparently," Fluttershy said.
"Hey, Fluttershy! Trixie gave that book monster The Stare!" Pinkie declared. "Well, kinda. Mostly she just talked it to death. Literally!"
Twilight staggered over, wincing at the hundreds of papercuts she had. "Wow, Trixie. That...that was actually kind of impressive." She frowned. "I really should've thought about trying to reason with it once we realized it was intelligent."
"It was hardly intelligent," Trixie scoffed. "Still..." She tossed her mane. "All in a day's work for the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
"Hey, don't forget who caused all this in the first place," Spike said.
Trixie wilted. "Oh. Yes. Of course. Ahem..."
"I just don't understand how you managed to create a golem," Twilight said as she surveyed the sprawl of books lying on the ground. "A botched book sorting spell shouldn't have gone that out of control." She picked up the book that had formed the golem's head and studied its cover, frowning. "Huh. Never seen this one before. The Big Book of Self-DEMONstrating Articles...why is the 'DEMON' part of that title in such a bigger typeface?" She flipped open the cover. "There's something hoofwritten just inside the cover...'Happy birthday, Celestia! I hope this book will keep you on your hooves! Love, Luna.'" Her brow furrowed. She opened the book to a random page. "Alicorn," she read.
The book flared with reddish-black light, and a tiny origami alicorn started to emerge from its pages, its horn shedding crimson light. "WAH!" Twilight yelped, quickly slamming the book closed.
"What...what sort of book is that?" Trixie wondered, taking a defensive step away.
"A book of dark magic, apparently," Twilight muttered sourly. "One of Luna's pranks on Celestia from the old days." She conjured a pair of thick, buckled straps and bound the book tightly shut. "Apparently it creates a manifestation of whatever article it's open to, and the reader has to deal with the consequences."
Trixie blinked. "Then...you mean to say...this whole episode with the book golem was not Trixie's fault?"
"Not directly, no," Twilight said. "My guess is you accidentally knocked this thing open and it just happened to land on the 'Golem' entry."
Trixie let out a deep sigh of relief. "Trixie is relieved." She frowned. "But where did such a horrid tome come from?"
"Probably the old castle library, and that's exactly where it's going back to," Twilight said. "Rainbow Dash? Will you take this to Celestia and Luna's old castle and lock it in the dark magic vault with all the other books that have wreaked havoc on Ponyville?"
"Can do!" Rainbow Dash said, taking the cursed book in her hooves and zooming off into the Everfree Forest.
Twilight turned to Trixie. "Now, Trixie...you wanted to learn a book sorting spell? I'll be happy to teach you one." She smirked. "AFTER you rent a wagon and go around Ponyville, clean up every last book, and bring them all back to the castle."
Trixie's ears wilted. "Must Trixie?"
"Yes. Yes Trixie must."
"Oh, very well..." Trixie sighed. "You. Dragon minion. Assist me."
"Assist yourself, you obnoxious blue bi—"
Twilight kicked Spike none-too-gently in the side, giving him a significant look.
Spike sighed. "Alright, I'll help," he said. "If you ask NICELY."
Trixie coughed. "Ahem. Please?"
Twilight smiled as she flew off to the castle, leaving Trixie and Spike to clean up hundreds of stray books.
* * * * *
Other ponies had pitched in to help Trixie and Spike with their cleanup effort, and in less than two hours, every book was accounted for. Trixie, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie hauled heavy wagonloads of books back to the castle, where Twilight taught Trixie the book sorting spell. After a few false starts, Trixie was able to sort the books back onto the appropriate shelves.
As the sun set over Ponyville, a white alicorn glided in through one of the many balcony windows of Twilight's castle. Trixie reeled, eyes wide, as she beheld the very ruler of Equestria.
"Good evening, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia said, nodding respectfully to Twilight with a fond, familiar smile.
"Hello Celestia," Twilight said.
"I learned from Spike that you have chosen to take on a personal student?" Celestia asked, tilting her head curiously.
Twilight ducked her head. "Well...yeah," she said. "Umm...it's okay if I do that, right?"
Celestia laughed. "Twilight...you don't need my permission to teach other ponies!" Celestia turned and studied Trixie. "You must be Trixie Lulamoon," she said.
"Err...yes, Your Majesty."
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "I have heard many things about you from Princess Twilight," she said.
Trixie cowered, ears flattening tight against her skull. "Few of them flattering, I fear," she said.
Celestia laughed lightly. "Relax, my little pony. Everypony makes mistakes. It's how we learn and grow. The important thing is that you learn from your mistakes..." Her lips quirked into an impish smile. "Even if you have to make the same mistake a few times to properly learn the lesson."
Trixie laughed sheepishly.
"So, tell me," Celestia said with a twinkle in her eye, "did you ever get that letter I sent Twilight out of your lady parts?"
Trixie's eyes bugged out. "I am so terribly sorry about that, Your Majesty," she said.
Celestia snickered. "Accidents happen, my little pony." She turned to Twilight. "Well, I must be getting back to Canterlot. Good luck with your new student!"
"Thank you, Princess Celestia," Twilight said primly.
As Celestia flew off into the starry night, Twilight smiled. "I think that went well," she said.
"Trixie is utterly mortified," Trixie said.
Twilight laughed. "Let me tell you about the time my friends and I went to the Grand Galloping Gala..."
* * * * *
Several ponies milled about an old abandoned warehouse in Manehattan. Old-fashioned lanterns cast a dim glow over the interior as dozens of evenly spaced plywood partitions were set up. At one end of the warehouse, two neat rows of identical cots stretched from one wall to the other. A desk at the front of the warehouse was covered with posters and hoofbills.
A cream-colored mare with a short, faded cyan bob of a mane and a greyish-pink mare with washed-out lavender braids worked swiftly and efficiently at a long table across from the desk, sewing machines whirring as they stitched together piles of drab fabric into identical hooded cloaks.
"Excellent work, my little ponies," said a pink unicorn as she strolled from one end of the warehouse to the other. She looked up at one of the many identical banners hanging from the ceiling—a white equal sign against a grey background—and smiled.
Stats
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
607 users online
711,110 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
5854216 So you're posting just to tell me you won't read the story? That's...less than useless. Seriously. There is literally no need for you to leave a comment to say you're not reading a story. It's not the first time you've done it, and I've ignored it before, but seriously...you really do not need to post this kind of comment. Ever.
5854216
Honestly, having read both previous ones. The first shouldn't have been mature, I've seen more mature stuff from Adventure Time. The one before this, it was situational, but nothing worse than Ant Man / The Atom have done in comics they star in every now and then (and I'm not talking about the wife beating, or crippling inferiority complex
).
5854244 The first one ISN'T mature. It's rated Everyone.
Its nice to see the comedic duo of Spike and Trixie back. Im actually enjoying this story more than the previous one (It had a very weird concept) and Im baffled about this having so few likes and many dislikes in comparison.
I hope that you continue this story and that you dont loose your touch for comedy.
5854522 Glad you're enjoying it!
It's only been up for a couple of hours, so...give it time for people to actually read it.
Welcome back!
Spike and Trixie, fun time, with Twilight in charge!
Genius my friend.
5854561 Most appreciated.
Trixie and Spike. Back in action
5854356
I thought it sounded strange him saying the first one was M rated. Dang me and my brain farts
.
Spike and Trixie argue like an old married couple.
5856913 My thoughts exactly.
What's this supposed to mean?
Starlight got to Fashion Waifu? Well, that's several kinds of not good...
Also, impressive work from Trixie, talking down the book golem.
In any case, this one looks like it's going to be a bit more exciting than its predecessors. I look forward to more.
5858456 Doesn't actually mean anything. It's just a spoof of the CLAMP manga title xXxHOLIC. And apparently, it's backfired spectacularly on me.
5858590 Glad you liked it! There are some fun plans in the works.
5858591 Ah, I see. I've never heard of anything like that, but I'm not into anime or manga. I would suggest that you take that part out, but that's just me.
5861015
Rainbow Dash: "Okay, why's there a huge book monster terrorizing Ponyville?"
Spike: [points to Trixie] "Because we left that unsupervised for five minutes. No joke. It seriously only took her five minutes."
Oh Trixie... you have no idea...
Oh, Celestia brought up my question from the prequel. So are we to believe that whatever letter she sent is still in there? That's kinda dangerous in quite a few ways. We thought for sure there would be a scene with Twilight performing some... exploratory surgery of sorts..
Keep going! ;)
I don't know what's funnier. How this is absurd enough to be something written by defender2222, or that it actually makes SESE.
You have no idea.
Wise move.
Oh my...
Exactly.
Whoah, what happened.
I see.
Thank you.
Oh you are Magnificent
Well then. We're f*cked.
This is looking good so far, as expected. Can't get enough of that Spike & Trixie chemistry.
Twilight should put her books from the old castle, in a secluded area. Until she at least goes through the content once or twice. Can't have more unnecessary accidents being caused, by unknowing readers.
5895058 so very f*cked
5878520 thus creating more awkward shrinkage.... wait we don't want to go there
5987539 or do we?
5987539 or do we?
Harsh much, Twilight?
Here's Twilight's new theme!
This chapter reminded me of a comic from Dominic Deegan.
dominic-deegan.com/comics/20030430.gif
Book golem is such a smartass. I like it.
6193209
Well Twilight is a crazy librarian lady at heart. And you know canon Twilight would banish a pony to Tartarus for so much bending a book spine. She'd probably make late fees illegal punishable by being sent to the dungeons if Celestia and Luna didn't put their hoof down.
That said, Twilight's crazy, and volatile reaction to a hurt book is pretty much in character for her. Kind of like her watching friends as they sleep, or spying on them through possessing inanimate objects ... or loving book porn.
Twilight… just left and let others to collect her precious books? Leaving them to lie around in dirt, where anypony could step on them or worse, a moment longer than necessary?