• Member Since 25th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen September 15th

Brony4life360


Just a guy who likes to occasionally write, but loves to read all types of fanfiction

T
Source

A human wakes up in Equestria, remembering nothing. The only three things that he has with him may help him fit in with this new world. A ball for some type of sport, a small piece of metal, and a sword. Can he try and survive this new world and try to find what his old world was like? The human may be able to accept and try to adapt to this world, but will the world be ready to accept him?

Rated Teen for some sexual themes and some gore at some later parts of the story.


My first fic and it is an HIE fic. I hope that you all like it! also leave comments often so I can improve my writing!
-Brony4life360

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 53 )

It´s à good story

How long until chapter 2

Not too long, the latest it may be published is in 4-5 days.

Cool all be waiting

So I looked at the description.
"first fic"
"HiE"
At these two prompts, I got out a notepad and pen, and wrote at the top "List of fanfic clichés."
I was happily surprised to see the list wasn't long.

1) Waking up in the middle of nowhere. If the place where you wake up is random, then why does nobody ever wake up surrounded by civilisation?

2) Amnesia. Because, y'know, people aren't allowed to know who they are when they go to Equestria anymore. YOU SHALL BE ASSIMILATED INTO THE HERD, FOOLISH MORTAL

3) Talking to oneself. Also, all humans in Equestria must be insane.

4) Questioning how the laws of physics apply to Equestria. Hint: they don't. It's all done by magic.

5) Not knowing what a pony is. Surprise, surprise, the idea of pegasi existed long before MLP did. It's like nobody ever remembers anything about basic mythology. Then again, they are amnesiacs, we can't blame them.

6) A lot of swearing. Like, a lot. This seems to be another common trait amongst the insane amnesiacs that are humans in Equestria.

7) Found by Rainbow Dash. This is a weird one, actually. Dashie's very good at finding humans in the middle of nowhere.

I know what you're thinking: "7 badfic clichés? You call that short?" Yes. Comparing it to other HiE fics, yes I do. In fact, I'm already genuinely intrigued, and that's something coming from me. Here's why I'm actully interested:

1)

"This is just fan-motherfucking-tastic. I can't remember anything, and I don't know where the hell I am. But hey, look at the bright side, at least the view is nice."

This made me laugh, somehow.

2) Random items! We have the ball, the sword and... whatever the other thing is. Firstly, what are they useful for? Well, the sword stabs ponies, I guess, but that's not the point! Secondly, I've never seen something like this done before, surprisingly! Unless it's a phone, in which case it runs out of battery faster than a bad Sonic OC on steroids.

3) POV swaps are awesome! And surprisingly rare, because the human is, of course, always a Mary-Sue.

Well that's my review... thing done for now. Oh, and just remember: clichés and tropes aren't necessarily bad, they're just annoying as all Hell if overused. The Internet requires my assistance!

Yours in high demand,
~ epicn00b

5835903 Well thanks for that review! Also, the different items are pretty useful in their own regards. And lastly, I am glad that I could also make you laugh, cause our main character is kind of a hopeless dumbass, with a very interesting personality. Either way, I am glad that you could stop by and give me a review!

That's a lot of self control for one to wait to faint until someone can catch them:rainbowlaugh:

I wish I had that much self control, cause that could be useful at some point. :derpytongue2:

Hey! Its blitz. I don't knowing this is where you do messages or not. Lol

Good story, but in need of editing as you stated in the Author's Note at the end of Chapter 1. Also, I personally believe that Rainbow wouldn't have said "damn" as in

Hay if I know Twilight, but you should do the tracking spell, and then we can find the damn thing!

but that is because the universe in which you are writing (unless this is some alternate Equestria) the term you could have used is "bucking" while this is an entirely different word meaning, it may make for a slightly easier read. As far as I know, "damn" is not a word that the characters should know, so I just thought I would point that out. Other than that, it was fine.

5894185 I will keep that in mind then, thanks for your help!

This is a truly interesting story. Nice work. :twilightsmile:

Ok first the good somebody finally compared hands to Spike's claws so many writers have the Mane 6 not know what Spike basically has minus one digit

Now the bad

can't even think to klnow how the heck that thing is staying up there.

Should be know

There!I say

Need a space or two

Both of these are in the second paragraph and are the only glaring errors that I found so good job

Not enough story for a favorite ATM so you get a tracking

This is great so far! Whens the next chapter out?

5964319 I don't know exactly when the next chapter is going to come out, but I am currently working on it. It might be a few more weeks though, unfortunately, because finals are a bitch.

Believe me bro. I know what it's like to get you ass bitten hard by finals. Glad you updated. Keep it up. :twilightsmile:

im so glad that i can wait very long for these stories like this. kepp them coming :)

(same to you shadicbro brony)

6100163 Pretty much, just that he is a little more fit than that guy.

Well i think Bear is a little bit Crazy and you now what i like that i totally like that. Oh and that with the Window pretty Awsome.

6101002 Thanks! I wanted to make Bear a little crazy. I don't want him to just be like the rest of the HiE fics where the human tries to be a normal citizen of Ponyville. No, Bear is going to be a crazy motherbucker from beginning, to end.

well, i hope they get use to his crazy side soon

fuckin love your chapters MORE PLEASE!

Goddamnit Fluttershy!!! :facehoof:

don't stop put more chapters:pinkiehappy:

6173905 Yeah, sorry about the delay on this next chapter. I got a job, so I have to focus on that as well as write the chapter. It's coming soon though!

6174319 Sorry, everybody, but my computer just broke down on me, so there is going to be an even longer delay for next chapter. I'm sorry, but I will make this next chapter longer than normal to make it up to you guys.

moarrrrrrrr pls
baconapple:pinkiegasp:

when you are planning for releash chapter? also what you planning for halloween?

MORE...MORE...MORE...PLEEEAASSSE !!!!!!!! THIS IS AWESOME !!!!!!

Yeah, sorry about that. Between getting a new computer, school, and a job, I never had any time. But I found some and I got a chapter out! :rainbowkiss:

........are we gonna get an explanation for what the fuck just happened?:rainbowhuh:

Why doesn't this story have a human tag?

7108162 Because I consider the Human tag only needed for stories that involve more than one human character, or if it takes place on Earth.

Damn dude, this story did a complete 180 from what it originally was. Hopefully Bear won't find to much trouble, and really? Genocide? That's your answer celestia?:facehoof:

This is one thing you ponies should know. Neve fuck with a human, or suffer the consequences.

what gonna happen next chapter?

7108262 Yeah, I wanted to change it up, but hopefully that it is an alright thing that I did a complete 180.

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