• Member Since 14th May, 2014
  • offline last seen 24 minutes ago

Maran


Earth pony enthusiast

E

Magical beings besides the Sirens have been banished to the human world. The Nightmare finds its way to Luna and persuades her to merge with it, on the pretense of protecting the students from even worse monsters. But when she starts to become a monster herself, it's up to the new Team Harmony to set things right. This is NOT a retread of the pilot episode.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 64 )

Just one tip of advice for this story. Don't be me. Don't start off and then do NOTHING for the next six months afterwards.
Also, if you don't finish this story, I will personally go over to your house and bawl my eyes out in misery.
Otherwise, please do keep up the good work. First EQG story in recollection that has Adventure on it and not Sex or Comedy.

looking forward to next chapter

you have caught my interest. please? do go on

5823997 Don't worry, I have the next two chapters written already! :pinkiehappy: Hopefully I'll have enough momentum to keep going after that. It helps that I actually made an outline that plots out the story from beginning to end. I hardly ever do that, and it shows in some of the fanfics I've written for other fandoms.

And part of the reason I started writing this fanfic was because it is so hard to find straight-up magical adventure stories for EG.

Ach vell, I suppose I can wait a bit longer. Given all the time that I've spent taunting my readers, you taking a while for new chapters isn't a problem.

i say...forgivness. if you can't forgive your friends...then you're not a true friend at all.

5855292 I like Forgiveness too, I'm just not sure I like it enough to change it. :applejackunsure:

5856124 can't wait for more either way. you got me very curious

Of course, after being kept away from Fimfiction for a week there's an update. Still great, so I can't complain.

ooooohh i'm super happy now but wat to know more! please?

Luna, dont trust the nice lady with candy! ITS A TRAP!

Ri2

Diamond Tiara is a horrible despicable awful person, no matter what the universe.
What's this about emblems?

Ri2

Maud continues to be best pony and/or human. What do you suppose her Element is?

Ri2

Nightmare, I'm not sure you thought this through all the way…

Ri2

Luna zapped Diamond Tiara with magic? I see nothing wrong with this whatsoever

6010478 Thanks for your comments! To answer your question, in my headcanon, emblems are like the human world's cutie marks except they design them (or pay someone to design them) and register them with the government. They're as important as names in their society, and also seen as a way of self-promotion or marketing yourself. You can change them, but you have to go through a lot of red tape. I couldn't figure out a way to explain this without an info-dump, though. Maybe I should write an author's note about it.

"Rainbow, you've been lookin' out for us for a long time,”
“And you inspire others to be loyal, too,” said Rarity.
Dash folded her arms. “Yeah, it's just what I do.”

Another example why Rainbow is the best, if you ask me.

Meow!

Fluttershy McCloud? :rainbowderp:
When did she has a surname?

6090610 I'm giving all the human characters surnames in this story, like Luna McQueen. That doesn't necessarily mean that their pony versions have surnames. (If you're wondering how I came up with "McCloud," it's because I named her father Nimbus Cloud in my other FiMfic.)

If she is going to pose as Twilight your going have to try harder to surprise me.
But keep up the great work

Poisoning students is bad Miss Luna

Funny thing about Sunset's Element of Empathy. That's exactly what they said it would be at ComicCon.

Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

6335719 For real!? Wow, that's awesome! I like to think I just have a really good grasp of the characters. :pinkiehappy:

I hope Dashie gets out of Tartarus. :fluttercry:

I like both Perseverance and Empathy as Sunset's elements, if it's not Magic.

Also...

“Yes.” Sunset met her gaze. “They're the alternate versions of Celestia and Luna McQueen.

Kachow.

I love that the Nightmare expects this Luna to be exactly like Equestraia Luna. It's really funny. :rainbowlaugh:

“Guys, I'm going to write back to Spike, but I'm not going to tell him about Luna yet. He's only a kid.” Sunset frowned as she realized she had no idea how old he was. He'd been a puppy, and Twilight had called him a “baby” dragon in one of her letters, but he seemed at least as mature as a twelve year-old human.

I'd complain, but then again, Sunset doesn't know what Spike's done and been through. This is a reasonable conclusion for her to come to.

Shit just got real.

I love these two hospital people, especially the nurse. It's nice to see someone besides Lyra freak out about appendages for once.

I gotta say, no may fics have a subplot that has its characters fight their way through Tartarus. :ajsmug:

6419115 Thanks for all the comments! Glad you're enjoying the story so far.

I'm looking at the time stamps of your comments and I wish I could read as fast as you. :rainbowlaugh:

Hmm, are the human CMC the Emblem Crusaders then? And they're trying to figure out what their emblems should be when they turn 15?

McQueen? Do they have red race cars.:pinkiehappy:

If you're going through Tartarus, keep going!'

An inspiration, maybe?

“Nurse Redheart, this is Luna. Inform the students that I am now the acting principal of CHS.”

Elec in Alucard voice: "Not if I destroy you first. Not while there is breath in my body."

I will still read this and give it a chance. Finally a story about Luna for EGQ and about nightmare moon. Yet i am kind of disapointed in the writing quality. I feel it is rushed and info is given out to quick. I feel there need more build up then just throwing us in to the problem right away. Just assuming right away to keep and eye on Luna from the start I was disapointed. Feel like there judging Luna for something she might not even do. Story giving out info to easy. Not sure how to exsplain this better.. But I can just tell my self it is an alternet univers story.

6771657 If you're referring to chapter 2, yeah, I can see your point about them being too quick to jump to conclusions about Luna/NMM. I'll go back and try to rework that part. Not sure what I should do about the rest of the story, though (I'm not even really clear on what your other concerns are).

....

Stuff is getting real.

*claps hands in approval and leans back in a chair*
Now let us just wait and see the outcome.

This fanfic was originally saved under the title “Once Upon a Time at CHS.” Thankfully I thought of a less clunky title before I uploaded it.

You should have called the entire thing "Horse Magic." Now there's a phrase that really has me giggling.

Oh, for the love of Pete. She brought her palm to her forehead.

'Aha! Who is this Pete? Did he do something to make you jealous?'

:rainbowlaugh: I swear, it's like reading a story about Mephistophele' pimply intern. The Nightmare isn't terribly smart, is it?

I don't know what it says that the part I still find most surprising is the color of the Nightmare. Why would it be yellow?

“Did she say where she is?” asked Rarity.

Celestia's forehead crinkled in confusion. “She says she's home.” She glanced up at the girls. “You sent her home?”

See, this is why you should pay attention to spelling and stuff. She was supposed to be sent to the moon, not sent to her room.

Then again, Nightmare Moon is basically teenage Luna in her emo phase, so maybe that's the better idea after all.

“Pinkie, just get off Twilight's brother already.” Dash's eyes widened. “Wait, I should probably rephrase that.

:rainbowlaugh: Yes, that was prooobably a good idea. I swear, this story should be comedy tagged. It has so many great lines.

Humanville

Totally exists, by the way. Founded by one Mr. Human. I wish I was kidding.

“Nurse Redheart, this is Luna. Inform the students that I am now the acting principal of CHS.”

The detentions will last forever!

7182931 Thanks so much for the comments! I think I made the nightmare yellow because NMM's magic was yellow in one of the flashbacks. I think. I haven't watched it in a while.
Your comparison to Nightmare Luna as an emo teenager is pretty spot-on.
I'm glad my story made you laugh. I usually hesitate to use the comedy tag because I worry that it'll set people's expectations too high and if they don't laugh out loud, they'll be disappointed. But hey, maybe I'll add a comedy tag for this fanfic. :pinkiesmile:

Eh nice seeing this story being update.

Well it was a field trip chapter, but at least Sunset had a kick at her magic again.

Sunset blinked. “I don't know if it works like that. If there were an exact match up between principals and royalty, there'd be either thousands of royals in Equestria or about twenty principals here, on this entire planet.”

That's actually a really funny idea. You could write a hilarious crackfic about that.

“You're tellin' me! Apple Bloom and Big Mac texted me sayin' Nightmare Luna ain't lettin' anyone leave the school,” said AJ.

The detentions will last forever!

Wait, I already did that joke, didn't I?

Wlam was right about the detentions lasting forever.

Yup, guess I did.

:rainbowlaugh:

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