Intro# 2, Steel Shot
“Is this what it feels like to be wanted? I wouldn’t know.”
-Steel Shot
The sun shone bright across Ponyville and over Twilight’s home, Golden Oaks Library. A huge library house that looked more like a giant tree than an actual library. Twilight, a lavender alicorn with a purple mane and tail, that both had a pink streak in them, was in her room reading one of her novels and deep in thought. Her assistant, Spike, a tiny dragon with purple and green scales, entered the room to see that Twilight was reading on her bed again.
“Hey, Twilight.”
“Oh, hey Spike.”
“Whatcha doin today?”
“I’d just thought I’d read a few books and catch up on my studies today.”
“Again? You’re a new princess, Twi. You can do anything you want, ya know,” Spike informed her.
“I know that, but ever since I saved Ponyville and the Princesses from the Everfree forest, I’ve been constantly thinking about my new royal duties as a princess. Who knows what else could happen in Equestria when Celestia and Luna aren’t here? That’s why I need to keep-“
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Both Twilight and Spike’s ears perked up when they heard the sudden knocking at the door. Spike raced downstairs to see who was at the door. When he did, was a little surprised to see who it was.
“Uh, Twilight,” Spike called. “Could you come down here?”
Twilight put away her book and descended down the stairs. She was also surprised to see a couple of familiar colts at her door.
“Snips and Snails?” she asked.
The two town trouble makers were shaking with fear and had terrified expressions on their faces. Snips was a small, obese, green unicorn colt with an orange mane and tail. While Snails was a tall, lanky, yellow unicorn with a green mane and tail. Those two were most known for causing trouble and mischief.
“Princess Twilight! We got a serious problem!” panicked Snips.
“Why? What happened?” she asked.
“This time,” added Spike.
Snips did his best to explain the situation. “Me and S-s-snails were playing ball near the forest. And our ball bounced off into the woods, so we both went to g-g-g-get it. We went really deep into the forest to get it back. But when we found it, there wa-
ROAR!
All four of them turned their heads to see a shocking surprise. Five huge Timberwolves were roaming the streets of Ponyville and wreaking havoc. Knocking over stands, chasing ponies, and charging at anything that moves. Twilight looked down at the two colts with a disapproving look on her face.
“You attracted a pack of Timberwolves!?” she scolded.
“We’re sorry!” they both cried out. “Our ball was under one of the Timberwolves and we tried to be really careful to get it out. But when we grabbed the ball, they all woke up! Please help!”
Twilight let out a loud sigh and flew on out to the streets with Spike following her. She rubbing her head, trying to come up with an idea.
“What do we do Twilight?” asked Spike.
“Hold on, I’m thinking,” she said. She rubbed her head more in thought, trying to come up with a solution to try to stop these Timberwolves.
“Twilight!” shouted a meek voice.
Twilight turned her head to see a familiar pegasus mare.
“Fluttershy!” Twilight and Spike yelled.
“Twilight, what’s going? Why are there Timberwolves attacking Ponyville?” she asked as she approached the two.
“Take a wild guess,” Spike replied sarcastically, pointing to Snips and Snails, who both had a guilty expression.
“I see, what are we going to do Twilight?” Fluttershy asked again.
“I don’t know, I’m trying to think,” she replied.
As she was deep in thought, a lone Timberwolf landed right in front them. All three of them froze in complete fear as the beast got closer and closer to them. Twilight decided to take action and stepped forward. Her brow furrowed with confidence and her wings flared up, shielding Spike and Fluttershy. Her horn started to illuminate as the Timberwolf crept in closer and closer. Twilight didn't move a muscle as Fluttershy whimpered behind her, holding Spike in a tight embrace.
Just before the wolf beast could makes its first strike, a small and fast object came flying and smacked it right in its face. The wolf turned its head to see where the attack came from.
“Get away from them!” shouted a tomboyish voice. “If you mess with them, you mess with me!”
The wolf turned around to see a cyan pegasus mare floating in the air and holding a rock in her hoof.
“Rainbow Dash?” wondered Spike as he broke away from Fluttershy's scared hug. It was, indeed, their speedy hot-headed friend. They recognized her cyan fur and rainbow mane and tail anywhere.
The wolf turned around and started charging at Rainbow. However, before it could land a strike, she vanished. The confused Timberwolf looked all around for its cyan attacker. He was then met with a colliding hoof to the face, knocking some twigs off its head. The force was strong enough to leave the wolf wobbling. Rainbow was in a floating fighting stance and full of confidence. The wolf recovered from the punch and pounced at Rainbow.
However, she ducked and the wolf went right over her head. Once she found herself underneath the beast, she gave his wooden gut a hard buck. The wolf went flying and landed on its back. It got back up, shook off the pain, and charged once more. It swiped its branchy claw, but Rainbow dodged it and returned with a hook to the head. It was becoming a pattern; swipe and punch over and over. Every time Rainbow delivered a punch, the force made her float back, not that it mattered to her.
“Ha! Is that all you got?!” she gloated as she went to deliver another punch.
This time though, the wolf dodged it. It swerved to the right and left Rainbow wide open. After it dodged, it pounced again. The Beast grabbed Rainbow with its paws and slammed her into the earth, pinning her down. Rainbow was found pinned down on her back with the wolf about chomp down on her head. She began to lose all hope and grew a terrified expression. As the wolf raised its right paw, Rainbow closed her eyes for the final blow.
SHINK!
Rainbow opened up one eye to see what made the noise. She was surprised to see a silver arrow shot through the wolf’s paw. The wooden beast noticed this and screamed in agony. It scattered off Rainbow and began to whimper. However-
SHINK!
It’s whimpering came to a stop when another arrow was found lodged in its wooden skull. The beast then fell to the ground, crumbling into tiny little branches on impact.
“What in the?” exclaimed Rainbow.
Rainbow looked up in the sky to see who shot that arrow. Twilight shook out of her trance and also noticed the now deceased Timberwolf, she also looked up to see who killed the wolf. They were both surprised to see a lone Pegasus stallion floating in the air, several feet above the ground.
Is that who shot that arrow? Twilight thought.
This stallion had a very unfamiliar appearance to them. He had a muscular build, but he didn’t look as bulky or tough as Big Mac. He also had some very peculiar features that looked rather anomalous and strange. For one thing, this stallion had a light purple fur coat, along with a short mane and tail that were both fuchsia. The strangest thing, however, were his eyes. He had some pale, green, expressionless eyes that looked rather creepy and threatening. He also had two stitched pieces of cloth covering each side of his cutiemark. Other than his eyes, he looked pretty intimidating. The girls, and Spike, took noticed to the large silver bow he had in his hooves. The stallion looked down on the village and took notes in his head.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve fought Timberwolves,” he said stoically. “Might as well get some practice in.”
He was wearing a hoof gauntlet on his right hoof with a small hook at the end of it for grabbing and shooting arrows. He used his hooked gauntlet to grab an arrow from his pack and loaded it into his bow. He pulled back the bowstring and concentrated on the next target, a Timberwolf closing in on two mares; one of them being a pink earth pony mare with a fluffy mane and tail, and the other a white unicorn mare with a swirly purple mane and tail. He closed one of his eyes and aimed his bow. The hook on his hoof slowly released the string, firing the arrow downwards.
As it was descending, it started to glow a bright purple. Suddenly, the light flashed and the arrow broke into five separate arrows, shooting down at high speeds. The wolf down below was closing in on it’s targets as the mares held each other and shook in complete terror. Before the wolf could attack-
SHINK!
An arrow was shot right through it’s front right paw and pinned said paw into the ground. The wolf let out a yelp of pain as it tried to free it’s trapped limb from the arrow in the earth. Soon another arrow was shot through it’s other paw and into the dirt road, then it’s back feet. The giant wooden wolf was pitched down like a tent. It let out a loud roar of rage, but it was short lived when the last arrow landed right dead on top of it’s head.
The body then dropped and broke into several pieces, like the pile of sticks that it was. Both mares smiled in relief, knowing that they wouldn’t be something’s lunch today, and hugged each other again.
Up above, the stallion spotted the next wolf, which was chasing a blue unicorn mare, with a two toned blue mane and tail, down the street. He grabbed another arrow from his pack and loaded it into his silver bow. He pulled again, and let it fly downwards. The arrow landed right dead in the Timberwolf’s back left leg. Once it was lodged in, the arrow instantly caught on fire. The wolf looked back and noticed its back legs were on fire. It let out many whimpers and yelps as it ran around in a circle.
Pretty soon, the whole body was engulfed in flames. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Spike couldn’t believe what they were seeing, all they could do was watch on as this unfolded in front of them. Fluttershy looked especially terrified, seeing the wooden creature burn to death. The Timberwolf was now nothing more than a pile of ashes blowing in the wind. The stallion in the air scanned the area to make sure he didn’t miss any. It didn’t look like a lot of damage, on the village, but it did look like he managed to get all of them.
He then descended from the sky and landed safely on the ground. He put his bow on his back and started to look around the area. He then turned towards Twilight and the others, which caught them off guard. Despite his fuchsia mane and tail, they only took notice to his big expressionless eyes.
Those eyes, they look so cold and blank. Why are they like that? Twilight thought.
The stallion started to walk on over to where Twilight was. Her friends couldn’t help but notice, that every time he took a step, there was a strange ‘clicking’ sound to go with it. Every time he moved a joint in his body, there was a small click.
Is that clicking coming from him? Fluttershy thought to herself. The stallion then approached the small group of three.
“Is everypony alright? Anyone injured?” he asked calmly.
Oh wow, he’s got a deep voice, Twilight thought.
“Um-“
SLAM!
Before Twilight could answer, another Timberwolf came out of nowhere and tackled the mysterious stallion. They were all shocked to see him getting mauled by the beast.
What? Another one?! But I thought he got them all! thought Twilight.
The wolf had him by the neck and started bashing his body repeatedly into the ground. Thrashing his head side to side, hoping to tear him apart. Then, the stallion grabbed hold of the wolf’s neck and threw him off immediately, sending him flying. He was panting from the surprise attack and had several scrapes around his neck and legs. He was wobbling a little, but still managed to keep on standing.
“It seems… I’ve missed one,” he panted, cracking his neck. “How could I be so careless?” He then got into a fighting position ready to take on the wolf. It let out a huge roar. Then
BASH!
A hoof collided with the beasts face and set him flying once more. The beast kept on sliding until it hit a nearby boulder, smashing it completely. The fuchsia maned stallion was left confused, as well as Twilight and her friends.
“W-What?” stuttered the white mare.
“Rarity, Pinkie, are you two alright?” asked the worried Twilight.
“We’re fine, darling,” answered the white mare named Rarity. “But what about him!” she then pointed to the standing Pegasus stallion who still doesn’t have a clue what happened.
“What in the?” started the stallion, as he waited for the debris to clear.
“Aw yeah! That was awesome!” yelled a young voice.
Everyone waited for the debris to clear to see who was speaking. Once it cleared up, all they saw was a young stallion. Defiant Shield was standing there, shaking his right hoof, with a confident grin on his face.
“It’s been forever since I’ve fought a Timberwolf!” he exclaimed. “I’ve got a score to settle with you freaks of nature!”
Now who’s this guy? wondered Twilight.
“Shield?” asked the other stallion.
“Huh? Oh, hey Steel,” he greeted. “Looks like you’ve finally arrived. Did you crash land here too?”
“No, in fact-“
“Shield!” yelled a southern voice.
Both stallions turned around to see Applejack finally catching up and joined the rest of the group.
“Ah told you to wait, didn’t I!?” she yelled.
“Oh, sorry Apple Bottom,” he responded waving. The other mares just looked at the farmer mare while trying to hold in their laughter.
“I-It’s Applejack!” stuttered Applejack, who was trying to hide her embarrassed blush.
As Shield let out a small chuckle, he took notice to Steel’s neck and noticed it was all scraped up with teeth marks.
“Dang, looks you got all banged up there,” he said, pointing to the wound.
“Yeah, well one of the wolves got me by surprise,” Steel replied trying to wipe some of the blood off.
They all heard a loud rustling noise from the distance. They looked to find out that the last Timberwolf was slowing creeping out from behind the bolder and aimed it’s glowing green eyes at Shield; but all Shield did was smile.
“Back for one more round?” he asked.
The wolf just snarled at him as it was digging it’s paw into the ground, preparing to charge. With that, the wolf let out a roar and charged right for Shield. When it was charging, Shield reeled back his front right hoof and prepared to deliver the next blow. As soon as the wolf was just a few feet in front of him, he let loose.
BASH!
He gave the wolf a good hard right hook to the face, leaving the wolf staggering and stumbling. It shook its head to try to rid itself from the pain from Shields punch.
Now’s my chance! thought Shield as he charged head on towards the wobbling wolf. He leapt and reeled back his front left hoof to deliver a left hook this time.
However, this wolf was more vigilant and saw the attack coming. The Timberwolf turned and leapt towards Shield as well, but it dodged his oncoming hoof just in time. Just then, as the wolf dodged his attack, its branchy claws start to scrape the surface of Shields front left hoof, as it was passing by him in mid-leap. They both landed on the ground and Shield started to hold his arm, he also noticed the large gash that was given to him and the amount of blood he was losing. Several bloody rivers was streaming down his arm. The mares who were watching just gasped at the sight of it.
“Damn. I blew it.” Shield hissed.
The wolf then turned around and stared at the wounded Shield. The wolf pounced again. However, before he could reach him, a cyan blue blur collided with it’s face and sent it flying back. Shield noticed this and saw the cyan Pegasus mare floating in the air. The mare looked back at Shield and took notice to his bleeding arm. She then flew down and went to check up on him.
“Hey, guy. You alright?” she asked concerned.
“Just a little scrape,” he assured her.
“A scrape!? Dude, you barely survived a Timberwolf strike and your arm is covered with blood!” she exclaimed pointing to his wound.
“I think I’ll live,” he said.
Before she could retort, the beast immediately got back up and charged at the two with an open mouth.
SHINK!
An arrow was shot through its throat and caught on fire. The whole wolf was covered with flames and started to run around. It’s panicking came to a close when it ran straight into a wall and crumpled into little burned pieces. Every looked back and noticed the Pegasus stallion named Steel holding his bow again in the air. He landed on the ground and put his bow away as he watched the last Timberwolf burn.
“It is done,” he said.
Pretty soon, they all decided to re-group to talk about the situation. Shield was walking with a limp because of the wound and Steel was still holding onto his neck to add pressure to stop his wound from bleeding.
“Ok, I’ll be the first to say it,” started Spike. “What the hay just happened?!”
“I’m pretty sure what happened was that there was huge Timberwolf attack, for some reason, and we all just took them down!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash excitedly. “I mean, did you see me out there?”
“If you mean, watching you getting pinned down by a wolf made of sticks, then yes, I saw you.” replied Steel calmly. Rainbow just gave a small grunt at his response.
“Ha!” laughed Shield.
“Speaking of which,” Steel continued. “How did this happen?”
The group then eyed Snips and Snail, the two colts responsible, as they were trying to sneak away undetected, but it didn’t work. As they were caught, they both gave a guilty smile.
“Very well then.” spoke Steel. He then floated towards the two colts, who both had nervous expressions on their faces. What Steel did next shocked every pony around the area. He brought out his bow, loaded an arrow in it, and aimed it at the two colts. Everypony was taken back at this and looked absolutely horrified, jaws dropped and all. Before he could fire, Shield got in front of him and swatted his bow downwards.
“Whoa Whoa Whoa! What do you think you’re doing?!” stammered Shield.
“Eliminating the problem,” Steel replied flatly.
“What?!”
“Are they not the ones who caused those wolves to attack? It would be best to take ‘care of them’ before they cause another problem that could put everypony in danger.”
“Dude, are you listening to yourself?” butted in Rainbow. “You’re aiming your bow and arrow at two colts here!”
“They may have caused some ‘accidents’ in the past, but that’s just what it was all along: accidents. They’re just kids. I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by it,” added Twilight.
“I-I-It’s true. We didn’t mean anything by it!” stuttered Snips.
“Y-yeah, an accident,” added Snails.
“What am is supposed to do then?” asked Steel.
“What are you supposed to do? How ‘bout a simple wave of the hoof while saying, ‘don’t let this happen again’?!” suggested Shield. “Don’t you think that would be more fitting? I mean, shooting kids, really?! You and your inappropriate actions.”
“Oh you’re one to talk,” muttered Applejack.
“Fine, I’ll give it a try,” Steel said as he put away his bow and walked towards Snips and Snails, who were still shaking with fear.
Steel then raised his left hoof and started shaking it awkwardly. Then he stared down at the two. “Don’t…let this happen again,” he said flatly.
“Y-yeah, we won’t! Sorry! Gotta go now!” With that, Snips and Snails both ran as fast as they could until they were out of sight.
Steel then turned around to see the group of mares, the dragon, and Shield, still had surprised faces.
“Forgive me,” he said as he bowed.
“It’s fine, I guess,” Twilight replied. “By the way, I don’t think we got your names yet. Mind introducing yourselves?” she asked.
“Of course,” the Pegasus started as he got up from his bow. “My name is Steel Shot.”
“And I’m Defiant Shield,” finished Shield.
“Oh, well it’s a pleasure to meet you two. My name is Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight introduced. Then the whole group started introducing themselves and telling the two stallions all of their names. During introductions, Twilight couldn’t help but stare at the severe scratches and cuts around Steel’s neck.
“Oh my, those wounds look pretty bad,” pointed out Twilight. “Maybe we should take you to the hospital.”
“No need for that, I’ll be fine,” he informed her.
“Really? But your neck is covered with blood,” she retorted.
“I think a first aid kit will do fine. Do you have one?” he asked.
“Uh, sure. Spike, run in and grab the kit,” Twilight ordered.
“Sure thing.” he replied as he ran inside.
"Thank you both so much for saving our town," thanked Fluttershy.
"No problem," replied Shield. Out of nowhere, Pinkie started getting a wide grin on her face.
“Hold on! You just saved us from a dangerous Timberwolf attack and you’re both new in town. You know what this calls for?” she said excitedly. “A party!”
“Huh, what’s this about a party?” asked Spike as he walked out with the first aid kit. Steel then opened up the kit and took out a roll of bandage wraps and started to unravel it. He then proceeded to wrap the bandages around his wounded neck.
“Eh, I’m down for a party,” said Shield. “What do you think, Applejack?”
“For the last time! Mah name is Apple bot-” she paused. “Oh wait, you said it right, never mind.”
The whole group started chuckling and laughing, even though they had no idea what they were talking about. Steel finally finished wrapping the bandages around his neck.
“Perhaps some other time. I have to get going now.” Steel informed them.
“Aw, what?” moaned a disappointed Pinkie Pie. “C’mon, it’ll be fun! Think of it like our way of saying thank you. Pleeease say you’ll come?”
“Sorry, but I really have to go.” He then turned around and started walking away.
“Why, where do you have to be in such a hurry?” called out Rainbow. Steel then stopped his tracks and turned around to face them.
“I’m looking for someone.” he answered.
“Really? Who?” asked Rarity.
“Our sister. We all got separated on the way here, and now I can’t find her. She could be anywhere.”
“You still haven’t found her?” asked Shield as he approached him. “Maybe I should go with you to help find her.”
“No, I’m fine on my own. Besides, I think you should stay here,” Steel suggested. “You’ve got some healing to do, from the looks of your arm. Plus, we could cover more ground this way. I’ll go search for sis out there while you search in this town. For all we know, she could be just hiding.”
“Ok, fair point,” Shield responded.
“Hold on, I have one more question,” started Rainbow Dash. “How do you two know each other?”
“Yeah, I’d like to know that too,” added Applejack.
“Are you two like, best friends?” asked Pinkie.
“No, we’re not friends. We’re brothers,” admitted Shield.
The whole group grew eyes that were wide with shock. They couldn’t tell if they were lying or not. These two stallions were related?
“You’re brothers?!” they all exclaimed.
“Yeah, can’t you tell?” asked Shield as he pointed to himself and Steel.
“No, I don’t really see the resemblance,” spoke Rarity.
“Plus, how can you two be brothers? You’re an earth pony and Steel is a pegasus,” wondered Twilight.
“He’s adopted.” Steel responded nonchalantly. In return, Shield gave him a blank stare that said ‘Really?’
“Ohhh!” the whole group replied.
“That must be tough for you, Shield.” Fluttershy said.
“Meh,” responded Shield as he shrugged his shoulders. “No big deal.”
“Anyway, I really must go now.” spoke Steel.
“Wait!” yelled Pinkie. “I have an idea! Maybe when you find your sister, you can come back and we can have your big welcome party then! That way, you and your siblings can have a great fun party together.”
“Perhaps. I’ll think about it. Sayonara.”
With that, the pegasus stallion spread his wings and took off. Shield watched until he was out of sight. He then turned towards the rest of the ponies who had rather blank and confused expressions on their faces, especially Applejack’s.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“So, that was one of your siblings you mentioned earlier?” asked Applejack.
“Yep.”
“And you’re sister is out there, somewhere?”
“Yeah. Like I said, I have quite a few.” he replied.
“Hold on, how do you know Applejack?” asked Twilight.
“It’s a long story, sugar cube.” AJ responded.
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Another good chapter, I like how you introduced Steel.
5857526 Thanks, If you liked this character's intro, then you'll like the second one
I'm gonna go ahead and call it. This one has the makings of a G.O.A.T.
You have a good sense when it comes to writing action, and you create good and entertaining characters. Props for that man.
I have one criticism though.
Twilight is really out of character here. She's an Alicorn and has already fought Tirek. No bitch ass Timberwolf is gonna make her freeze up.
5857637 Well keep in mind though that this fic takes place BEFORE the season 4 finale. Also, thanks
5857682 Oh well damn my bad playboy. It still feels a little out of character considering the Ursa Major, Cerberus, and Discord.
Still a future Greatest Of All Time though.
5857696 Thanks
Next chapter should be out as soon as possible
Great job. Glad I could help.
Loved the action scenes.
Perfect song for steel:
So Steel Shot and Defiant Shield are a couple of bad asses, huh?
This is something I noticed with your writing, you could cut a lot and gain a lot in return. My biggest problem with this chapter is that it seemed to drag on, not from pacing, but from unnecessary words. Everything bolded could have been cut. We can tell from context who is talking.
Also, you do that thing that many beginning writers do, and use as many synonyms of "said" as you can. There is nothing wrong with "said" if you use it infrequently. But by writing ["Watcha doin' today?" he asked.] you are being redundant. We know he is asking because of the question mark.
Woah, woah, woah! I know Snips is not a fan favorite, but he is not "obese." He is a stocky and a little chubby. Dare I say, he is "healthy" for a colt his age.
You've done this quite a bit in this chapter, but it is understandable. Word processors only really recognize the word "pegasus" with a capital "P" as the correct spelling. This is because "Pegasus" is the name of the fictional winged horse, and not a race. The use of "pegasus" to describe winged equines is a rather new development.
I have a problem with this when we are talking about S4 Twilight and beyond. It is more likely to me that Twilight would throw herself in front of her friends to defend them. I understand that you did this for plot convenience, but it could have been handled better. Perhaps have Twilight leap in front of her friends, flare her wings to intimidate the timberwolves, and have her illuminate her horn, ready with a charged spell. But before she can take the first shot, Steel Shot comes in and takes care of the timberwolves.
Heck, even S1 Twilight was quick to act against an Ursa Minor (though she did just finish reading about what to do in the event of an Ursa attack).
They
You're doing it again. We know what the characters look like, so don't waste time explaining to us what they look like. Plus, saying that "Fluttershy had her usual yellow fur coat..." implies that there are times that she DOESN'T have her yellow coat.
More redundancies/unnecessary words. Cut out "asked in."
Capitalized 'T' in "Thought"
A scrape is a rough rub that takes of some skin and may leave a bit of blood. A scrape is what you get when you fall off your bike, not from a wolf attack. What you are describing is much more severe than any scrape I've heard of. It is more likely a cut or worse, a gash. Scrapes can be nasty, but a scrape is not what happens when a wolf swipes at you.
blackant.net/other/images/archiveviii/aa-scraped-knee-b.jpg
Okay, you made me laugh with this one.
The cake twins?
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130322013420/mlp/images/3/30/Pinkie_Pie_singing_to_twins_S2E13.png
May I suggest some reading? I found this book to be very helpful.